There is only one game left. And it’s this weekend!
By request of BeerGuyRob, this week we are featuring NFL sideline reporters in the Sexy Friday lineup! Don’t worry, I’m keeping track of all the lovelies you’ve been posting on the site. They will make an appearance in later editions of Sexy Friday.
No one guessed the theme/connection last week although scotchnaut came really close. I gave out a first hint: It all adds up in the end. I’m keeping the same songs to see if you are able to crack the puzzle this week. I will give two more hints in the comments upon request.
For those of you prudes that don’t like cheesecake or beefcake, click HERE to skip to the music videos.
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Without further ado, here are the Top Twenty Five Pics of The Week:
HATE WEEK THOUGHT: AJ, what are you thinking? You’re cute and all but what in the everloving slow sweet fuck (h/t to Dok Zymm for adding that phrase to my vocabulary) is going on with your footwear?
HATE WEEK THOUGHT: Evan is the dictionary definition of Mimbo. I bet you he has never cracked a Physics book in his life and he honestly doesn’t need to with those looks.
HATE WEEK THOUGHT: Kristina has a porn star name yet looks so wholesome that you could take her home to meet mom and they would bond instantly. Then, at night, she’d peg you in your old bed from childhood.
HATE WEEK THOUGHT: Erin looks like the snooty girl that wants to be popular but all the other girls don’t like her because she’s stuck up. Is she still married to the former Kings guy? I didn’t take her for a puck bunny yet here we are.
HATE WEEK THOUGHT: Jen looks like she would be a LOT of fun if you know what I mean and I think you do. David Carr sure as shit knows as he’s trying desperately not to stare at her tits here.
HATE WEEK THOUGHT: Can someone please feed Lindsay a double cheeseburger with fries? With that last name, you should be eating pierogies twice a day and own “stock” in the Packers.
HATE WEEK THOUGHT: When so many people are genuinely concerned about your health based on how you look at work, you should maybe think about seeing a specialist? That’s what our HR department recommends.
HATE WEEK THOUGHT: In the FMK game of NFL sideline reporters, there is absolutely no one else you should pick to marry. That’s a winner right there, folks.
HATE WEEK THOUGHT: On the bright side, Sherree could never hide a handgun in that outfit and accidentally shoot herself. On the not so bright side, what’s up with all the double letters?
HATE WEEK THOUGHT: Fox has successfully applied the Austin Powers fembot technology to sideline reporting. That vacant stare is just the fembot becoming sentient and realizing she works for Fox and covers the 4th tier games every weekend.
HATE WEEK THOUGHT: I feel like an asshole every time I see Tracy on the screen and wonder if anyone will shoo that fly away from her face. Then I thank heavens I don’t say anything out loud because she looks like she would find me and kill me for saying that.
HATE WEEK THOUGHT: I know Shannon from the NASCAR broadcasts and appreciate her vast knowledge of both sports. I also appreciate her amazing gams. Seriously, watch a NASCAR race sometime…
HATE WEEK THOUGHT: I read somewhere that Michelle Tafoya married a LA local radio sports talk douche and I took that to mean that’s there’s a chance for everyone to find love in this world. What can I say, I’m an optimist.
HATE WEEK THOUGHT: Melissa has aged quite gracefully from cute and perky college girl to sexy hot cougar. And she knows her shit too.
HATE WEEK THOUGHT: I need to get AJ and Melanie in the same car and take them shoe shopping. Maybe after the COVID ends…
HATE WEEK THOUGHT: Every time I see this dickhead, I want to look up his stats so I can yell at the screen that he sucks. Then I realize I hardly ever see him because he covers the 5th tier games and I know how to use the mute button.
HATE WEEK THOUGHT: I think Sara has boiled a few bunnies in her past. I fully expect her to get asked to host a “show” on Fox News or Fox Business in a few years.
HATE WEEK THOUGHT: I like Lisa and I think she knows her shit. It bothers be, though, that it feels like she’s on air only because some network executive wants to use her as an example of them not discriminating.
HATE WEEK THOUGHT: Oh Jenny. The many ways the DFOers could disappoint you in less than 15 seconds… You seem like an Up For It kinda gal that doesn’t drink Bud Light.
HATE WEEK THOUGHT: Kathryn is another reporter that I know from other sports. She not only knows hockey inside and out, she’s also done NASCAR. From what I hear, she’s also freshly divorced although that thumb ring is a gigantic red flag.
HATE WEEK THOUGHT: Megan is known for covering MMA and she’s married to an MMA fighter. I’m not stupid enough to tell her or her husband that’s a possible conflict of interest.
HATE WEEK THOUGHT: Maria is the textbook definition of “worth the climb”. Seriously, imagine being in sexy times with a girl that tall. Ok, go clean up now.
HATE WEEK THOUGHT: I’m sorry. I told you to go clean up waaaaay to early. NOW you can go clean up. ¡Jesús!
HATE WEEK THOUGHT: Did I not tell you Amanda is pure marriage material? I’d go putting at night any time with her and my name is not Mitch Kumstein.
HATE WEEK THOUGHT: Did I not tell you Melissa has aged gracefully into super hot MILF? Oh, sorry, I said cougar earlier. A little Column A and a little Column B.
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YOU’RE-A-PRUDE
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And now, for the music!
As I mentioned before, I’ve decided that I must take up the mantle that tWBS ran with and help to make this world a better place. I will do this in the one way he couldn’t: By introducing you to good music!
Here are the same songs from last week. Let’s see if you can guess the theme/connection this week!
Song Number One:
Canción Número Dos:
Chanson Numéro Trois:
Canzone numero quattro:
Canção número cinco
Seigarren zenbakia:
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That’s all for this week, folks! Be good to each other and try to stay the fuck away from stupid people. That’s not COVID-19 advice, that’s just general good sense. See you next week!
Hair came out well, I’ll touch up a couple spots and lighten up my blonde streak some more in a couple days, but even without that it looks good!
Looks great!
This good?
I got my first haircut in 3 months yesterday.
It’s a very sexy, pandemic inspired “I don’t know when I’m going to get another haircut in this fucking plague” buzz cut. Five setting on top and three on the back and sides.
Shit’s clean and carefree, yo!
Checked the KN95s I had against the CDC list and turns out none of them are on there. They’re still decent masks, but went ahead and ordered some certified ones.
We’re in the same boat. Our kn95s were from when you couldn’t get shit. They seem great but, you know, the apocalypse.
I’ve only had cloth washable ones…
found a funny:
for this year’s super bowl, can we kill mr peanut again? think we all need it right now
On one hand yes. On the other he pulled a Groot that ended up being irksome as all hell.
Lou Dobbs fired from Fox News.
I saw he was trending on Twitter and when I found out the reason I was sorely disappointed.
Because I was hoping he was dead.
You can’t tell me that Laura Okmin wasn’t at the assault on the Capitol on 1/6.
I have no idea what this week’s theme is, but here’s a song about moving into your first apartment together and then everything going to shit.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G71dWFXJ0FY
It’s by Grant Hart, the late drummer of one of the best bands of the 80’s, Husker Du, who never quite got his due as a songwriter in that band because Bob Mould was working through some shit.
For giggles I’m attempting to color my hair at home for the first time in probably 15 years. Not exactly a bright red mohawk or half-and-half navy/turquoise this time, but should still be fun
Wife: “I don’t feel like messing up the kitchen. Will you order pizza and wings?”
Me, feigning disappointment: “Ok, I guess…”
SoS: (Externally)-Sigh- If I must…
SoS: (Internally)
I had stuff to do today down the hill, so I stopped at Popeyes on the way back. Sometimes only fried chicken will do!
One bottle deep woooooooooo. Here is to low tolerance!!!This is fucking great! – me with wine, but also sadly D. Sharper, William Cosby with bad things.
I am a beer-and-a-half in and I can taste coloUrs.
“Yes, I can taste black.”
-K. Kardashian
Apparently it wasn’t all that great.
Definitely orange, based on the beer you posted. Which is the yummiest color? I bet it’s purple
One bottle deep? So then you’re standing up.
Sure am. waiting for spawn to sleep then MOAR.
(was going for “standing up, because the bottle is in deep, so you can’t sit down, because the bottle is in your butt. Deep in your butt.” so I appreciate you implying that MOAR bottles will be in your butt because that’s funny to me, a simple perverted idiot)
I think it’s advantage Brady now after Brett Reid’s “incident.”
This reminds me of the first Atlanta Super Bowl flop and their star safety. The afternoon before the game he was presented an award for being an outstanding Christian leader. That night, he was arrested for soliciting sex from an undercover police officer.
He played the next day and stank it up.
Eugene Robinson. Legend.
COVID barber, then DWI car crash? Tampa’s really pulling out the stops for home-field advantage.
Plugging the superb owl squares again. Come and be a degenerate gambler!
Fuck with Sharky’s friends with your Pseudonyms!
Yes!
I’m motivated enough to join now!
And done! I hope I get 2-2
I’m officially degenerating
I’m in. At least I think so. Can you confirm for me?
Confirmed 2x squares
One of these days I’ll get Venmo or Paypal, but until then I wish you all the best of luck.
I’ll spot Horatio $10. You want to pick your square, buddy?
No worries. This’ll inspire me to set up Venmo.
Tomorrow. When I won’t “accidentally” use it to get a mail order bride from Vietnam.
Too late, I already paid Sharky
OK them surprise me with my grid.
Just not as much as my wife is gonna be surprised when our new au pair from Hue arrives.
So you’ve gone from drinking shark to full on loanshark. Sweet
It’s a natural progression
Once it warms up, you can be basking shark.
If he drinks enough, he can be hammerhead shark.
I’m essentially there already
Raise your glass to a handsome Canadian man
https://youtu.be/8bL2BCiFkTk
Cheers Mr. Plummer
Careful, you’re gonna trigger MAGAts.
Dacia Sandero?
DRAGNET
Dude’s IMDB shows he worked steady from 1953-2019. That’s a career that is longer than I have lived.
It’s certainly longer than the career I intend to have.
He’s not in any stinkers either. Some smaller art house stuff at times but all good.
I think The Insider was his best role; he made a good villain. I never saw the J. Paul Getty movie but I hear it’s good.
Look, Jay Feely may not be the purtiest gal at the dance, but he can suck the chrome off a trailer hitch!
So I guess Andy Reid’s kid drank a bunch of booze while taking Adderall and got into an accident, leaving a 5-year-old with life-threatening injuries.
https://www.espn.com/nfl/story/_/id/30842264/kansas-city-chiefs-assistant-coach-britt-reid-involved-multi-car-crash-life-threatening-injuries.
We joke about Andy Reid being fat and not understanding the concept of time, but let’s not overlook the fact that Andy Reid is a terrible human being and a worse father.
Aren’t all coaches horrible fathers?
He needs more black hair dye.
Needs to be anally assaulted with a saguaro cactus.
IIRC Andy took a bunch of shit for taking all of about a month off when one of his other sons OD’d, or both got arrested for heroin, or something awful, before going right back to coaching. Whatever it was, there were alarms blaring that his kids were in trouble, and it was equally clear that Andy didn’t give enough of a fuck to walk away from an all-consuming job for any significant amount of time.
But hey, he’s a fat jolly guy in a Hawaiian shirt, so we’ll sweep that under the rug and pretend he’s a hell of a guy.
Fuck it, I’m rooting for Brady. Brady may be a sociopath, but he also seems like the kind of guy who intervene if one of his kids had a drug problem. Or, worse, tried strawberries.
I bet on Brady despite his anti nightshade views. He is the same fucking age as me and that it truly is unreal that he can compete at this level with no strawberries.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZlV3oQ3pLA0
Eh, I can see Brady abandoning his kids to their fate. If they had iodized salt on the rim of their margarita then he might accidentally ingest some after mouth-kissing his kid, and he can’t be taking that sort of risk at his age.
He abandoned their mother for a model, so…
He only has one kid with Moynahan; the others are with Gisel…why the fuck am I defending a multi-millionaire married to a supermodel who makes more than he do…oh, right, I’m drunk for the first time in over a month.
That’s a good point, if meth ruins his kids looks he very well might just adopt better looking kids
Hey!
—Tony Dungy
Clearly “NFL” does not stand for “National Fatherhood League” as far as Andy is concerned.
Did you like sexy ship cracking in two?
Then you’ll love sexy dragsters cracking in two:
https://youtube.com/watch?v=ugxhreMZZqg
That’s quite an informative video on top fuel cars.
> David Carr sure as shit knows…
ROD MARINELLI: YOU’RE STEALING MY BIT!
(actually you aren’t…yet. But I need to have one of the characters on TMR constant calling Derek “David”).
Ha ha! I totally did not do that on purpose!
Here’s a very sexy ship snapping in two in a very sexy way on a very sexy sea.
Listen to the sexy Turkish captain call out “Mayday!” In a very sexy way:
https://youtube.com/watch?v=YxCWHY2P5wc
Jesus, that wasn’t good! I love how at the end of the video he abandons mayday and heads for HELP! My vessel is broken, indeed.
Bubbles, you say?
https://youtu.be/dN3wEdK_vxw
My Dry January, +4 because of course the first day of February was a Monday without football, ends tonight.
?w=700&h=625
And dear sweet the lord baby jesus how I’ve missed you.
Mine ended tonight. I don’t know if you know this, I fucking love wine. Still do. Later I betcha I am going to love whisky again too.
I don’t like wine, but there is a bottle of Basil Hayden’s in the cabinet that’s been pretty lonely the last five weeks.
I haven’t seen someone fall off the wagon that hard since Make It Snow’s annual playthrough of Oregon Trail.
That was fucking phenomenal.
This needs to be on the banner, even if only 5 of us understand it.
Why thank you. Makes me glad I went the extra mile to make sure it was actually Make It Snow who does it.
‘The extra mile’, or, what Snow should have traveled instead of trying to ford the Sacramento River with all those grandfather clocks.
That’s the good shit yes it is
That’s really pretty, whatever it is.
Treehouse Julius. Might be the best beer in America.
Is it fruity? Looks like it. I like a nice fruity beer every once in a while.
“Me too! Oh wait, you said BEER. Never mind.”
– Buddy
Very citrusy, very juicy/hazy. A New England IPA, and probably the best example of it.
I am a whore for Treehouse, if you hadn’t noticed. I also occasionally ship it to a couple of DFOers, who I’m pretty sure will back me up on its quality.
As opposed to “Treehouse Whore” which is an album that Eli ordered from Columbia House by mistake and…let’s just say I don’t think anyone has *ever* seen Olivia more angry than she was that day.
Can confirm.
Did not click prude button tonight because I figured the subject matter would be something other than a bunch of over-tattooed barely-18s. Not disappointed. It does seem like there are a disproportionate amount of overbites in this gallery, though. Or maybe I’m just hallucinating.
Thus Shannon Spake Zarathustra.
Lindsay Czarniak – FOX
I’d think Western PA/Stillers more than GB with that last name.
I’d still stuff her with pierogies…
She was always one of my favoUrites on ESPN, but what is going on with those eyebrows. I know I’m missing the forest for the trees here, but those are some disturbing looking trees.
A few hours ago I went down a wormhole. Thing is, it was a Django Reinhardt thingy and I totally recommend it. Here’s “Nuages”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fq-t9TVbthc&ab_channel=HeinzBecker
Pretty amazing guitar player, especially considering his injuries.
He was invited to the US in 1946 but his acoustic geetar didn’t make the flight He was given an electric guitar to play. He’d never played such an animal. Holy Jesus Christ. Just listen.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dbtg3QtzI_0&ab_channel=HeinzBecker
Litre likes all of these tunes.
I’m not sure if he likes Johnny Marr…
I went to see Modest Mouse only because he was playing with them. His solo tour was awesome. Saw him in a bar and he sang? sung? so many The Smiths tunes.