Alright, y’all. 5 hours or so of hoopsball loveliness left, before we go back to pondering all of our less-than-stellar life choices.
8E LSU (+5) v. 1E Michigan (7:10, CBS)
This would make for a fine game of FITBAW, at least before Harbs the Lesser turned the Wolverines program in a hollowed-out husk of its former self. Who knows what to expect from the hoopsball matchup. JUST GO WITH IT.
5E Colorado (+1.5) v. 4E Florida State (7:45, TBS)
Another cool FITBAW matchup, if you wind the clock back a few decades. It’s like Shempions League, with fixtures featuring “next round” opponents, playing at roughly the same time. Things like that interest my feeble brain.
10E Maryland (+5.5) v. 2E Alabama (8:45, TNT)
First, it was up to Rutgers to save face FOAR the Midwest. They spit the bit. Now, it’s Fear the Turtle’s Jerb. My guess? They never even put the bit between their teeth. But what the fuck do I know?
6W Southern Cal (-1) v. 3W Kansas (9:40, CBS)
What a world. The Troi Boiz are favoUred. Over Kansas. As the lesser seed. Vegas has seen the Pac-Twaaaaaalve light, y’all. And who doesn’t want the Song Girls to Fight On?
***HIPPO PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT***
In spite of my rampant cynicism and our prevailing, mean senses of humoUr – this tournament really has been a joy to watch. Full credit to the student-athletes, the trainers, the various support personnel who kept things together under grueling circumstances. You have entertained the fuck out of a nation that needed same.
My Vince Lombardi sex doll broke. It needs a seal here, a seal here, a seal…
FML – the simple pipe replacement has turned into a full tile removal thanks to the leak they discovered behind a wall. Guess we’re adding a zero to the estimate.
I once accidentally removed some tile in a hilarious fashion at the old house, but it ended up being a good thing in the long run:
i usually showered downstairs, but something was wrong with it, so i used the upstairs bathroom that my dad typically used. except that bastard never told me how slippery that tub was.
I felt my feet sliding, and somehow in the panic of thinking i was gonna be one of those idiots you read about in the newspaper, i threw my hip in the opposite direct to remain upright.
well, my plan worked, but when i removed my derriere from the wall, two tiles fell out. they were ceramic and still fully intact, but the sheetrock board they were adhered to was soaking wet and swollen up.
the house had been a foreclosure that me and my dad fixed up, but apparently its original owner had been to lazy to properly caulk all the edges of it. so using that small opening i had inadvertently created, we ending up pulling all the tiles down so we could replace the sheetrock. they came off so easy they may as well have been those stickers on bananad peels.
it saved us in the long run because when we sold that house we didn’t need to fix that particular problem.
so my uncoordinated ass was good for something after all!
this has been brocky’s home improvement misadventures
I hear that. I had to fix the caulking a few months back & I’m hoping that wasn’t it.
WVU lost, but, at least we didn’t get wedgied like KU right now.
Apparently KU stands for Kill Us.
I haven’t seen Kansas getting bloodied like this since the 1850s.
So you’re saying their tournament chances are vanishing like dust in the wind?
Don’t you cry no more.
Keep em coming!
Bill Self has, like, the most punchable face outside the Trump Klavern
That’s good hustle!!
After that first half of Bama raining 3s, you’d have thought the turtles would have done some adjustments to their defense, but alas they have not. Moving on to see about the Rock Chalks vs. the Ribbed and Lubricated
I have a suspicion the Ribbed ones will pull this out.
I thought the point was that they don’t have to.
Good work, you two. Don’t take the rest of the night off.
Are you our pimp now?
For whose pleasure?
TROY BOZY are ROCKING!!!
Will ask my kid if Boulder needs MOAR thoughts or prayers. It’s full of hippie libtards, so probably thoughts smh
I’m kinda surprised The Onion hasn’t updated the “No Way to Prevent This” article yet
TN apparently just passed a law allowing “concealed carry” without even a permit, so that’s a good first step imogodbless
oh jesus christ what happened?
Mass shooting in a supermarket. Six dead, I think?
America is healing.
The writers are all union now, so none of them work past 5 PM.
Thoughts and edibles
I usually eat edibles to get away from the thoughts.
I heard the term “Trustafarian” when I went to CU one year. Boulder was full of ‘em. And got to know The Onion, so I got summin’ wonderful outta grad school.
Nanu Nanu!!!
Hippospawn’s roommate’s okay, right?
yep, all good
i am both bored and disappointed with michgan winning
here’s some casual nudity
I think I have them in my final 4?
Aw Lily, you still got it.
/referring to the Danny Trejo commercial.
Next on the parlay is FSU.
In a way I’m kind of glad Massachusetts hasn’t allowed sports betting yet. My bank account would be in a bad way.
Though last time I was in NH, I turned $5 into $50 on a 4 team NHL parlay…
Now if Bama wins I hit a 5 game parlay. I spoke to teh Hippo today and I figured normalcy would come back today and thus far it has, apart from Iowa which I stayed away from.
Wow the Big 10 got a school in the Sweet Sixteen — nice jerb Wolverines
Found a cool:
https://www.technologyreview.com/2021/03/22/1021079/united-states-covid19-vaccine-surplus-not-enough-people/
Ohio Governor says surplus vaccines can go to people under 40. Of course, the vaccine sign-up website won’t let people under 40 sign up.
Ultimately, this is probably why I ended up (cursed to be) on the right side of the Political Turkey. The left side says the Government should have the power to help everybody, but I’m not completely certain the Government knows how to operate a light switch, let alone a bureaucratic labyrinth that people need to navigate to…you know…live.
We already saw the right’s approach to this pandemic.
That’s why I include the parenthesis.
Also, Ohio’s governor, and their state legislature is also republican controlled, no? So the response that’s failed and failing IS the right’s way.
Well…yes…when you use common sense, that does poke a slight hole in my argument. But the administration is non-Trump Republicans, so at least we have a vaccine instead of a blood oath to Trump.
However, if the Ohio Democratic Party had the helm, Ohio would currently look like a Mad Maxx movie. Not to impugn the other state and national Democratic Parties, but their Buckeye contingent isn’t quite a positive representation upon them.
Republicans say government doesn’t work, then get elected and prove it.
“See!?!? Toldja!!!”
Well, corporations are certainly a lot more qualified than government to tell us how live our lives.
You do see the flaw in your logic, don’t you?
Here’s how to get around and actually use government inefficiency to your benefit:
1) Sign up for an appointment using any of the reasons the system allows you to.
2) When you show up to the appointment, you explain that the governor said you could sign up but the website wasn’t working so you signed up anyway.
3) They won’t care and you’re eligible anyway, so you get your shot. If they balk, ask them if they want to be on the 5 o’clock news for refusing to give a shot to a perfectly eligible citizen.
4) Profit
That Showhow-A-Charge was punishment for the #NotNCAAProperty shirt.
Men got so much exercise equipment than Women, that they have an exercise bike on the sidelines.
Meanwhile, the women gets a wornout bungie strap tied to a running ’97 Ford Taurus.
I think I saw a couple spare thighmasters in the back.
I’ve said it before but I guess no one was listening: every time there’s an upset in the NCAA tournament, a member of hte selection committee should be taken out back and shot. DO YOUR JOB RIGHT!
Simple solution: For every upset in the first two rounds, they have to pay the difference in the seeds times $1,000 (9 beats 8 = $1,000; 15 beats 2 = $13,000), regardless of if the total number of upset exceeds the amount they were paid to create the seeding.
Charlotte Flair tested COVID-19 Positive. Odd choice for COVID-19 to have a Face Turn this close to WrestleMania, but WWE’s booking has been odd for years.
on one hand i feel sorry for all of the negative reaction she gets from the internet.
on the other i remember how much more talented the other three horsewomen are that i stop caring for the poor girl with eight breast augmentations
Agreed. Bayley was the 2nd closest worst 4HW when her character got stagnant as a face. Then she turned heel and turned into a great character. Its like changing a HB to a LB in a NCAA Football video game and they go from a 79 OVR to 94 OVR.
Besides being stilted on the promo (and that can be forgiven), Charlotte’s fallen into the rut of Randy Orton; she does everything great without trying, so she gets heat by fans because its looks like she’s not trying.
Ice Bills losing. All is right with the world
And they have 16 points! That’s turrible! Almost 2020 Red Wings levels of terrible.
I always say never bet on Meecheegan, but what do I do?
Bet on Meecheegan. Fuck.
listen here espn, if you’re gonna have lily from AT&T talk about elbows, someone needs to tell her that you can’t put your elbows together. just saying
I was able to do it. Now, I need to go to Urgent Care.
Seems like a solid candidate for this morning’s draft.
Of course the Ice Giants are losing to the Ice Bills. Who are winless in 14 straight
Ice Redblacks are winning despite starting a goalie that has played all of zero games in the NHL.
The meltdown here of the Ice Stamps is delicious
“GOTTERDAMMERUNG!”
-Michigan’s Franz Wagner, swearing, after missing an easy bucket
Rare mistake by NFL leads to Patriots getting awarded an extra pick in the 2021 draft – CBSSports.com
Things are starting to return to normal.
Deshawn Watson is now up to 13 sexual assault lawsuits. Ben Roethlisberger nods his head in approval of being usurped.
In other news, the NBA is considering changing the player in the NBA logo from Jerry West to Kobe Bryant.
KOBE NBA logo would be ROCKING!!!!
Only as long as there were a significant bulge in evidence within the shorts.
Will the silhouette be a young lady bent over a futon or a whirlybird bouncing along the 405?
as long as said lady is drawn with a smile indicating consent
Who the hell is the QB coach? Bill Cosby?
“Nice.”
-Larry Nasser
I’d be a lot happier if they changed it to Elgin Baylor.
Apparently LSU and Michigan are the two best teams in the country.
Well, I can’t say much because Ohio State was overranked and underplayed in the oddest NCAA tourney ever and OSU “fans” believe that is a capital offense.
God, I have Ohio State “fans” sometimes.
No pressure, Maryland!
Thought experiment: Would Bama score more points vs Maryland in basketball or football?
at this point I have so little faith in big ten teams that i fully believe five backups on the crimson football team could beat maryland by four
this LSU vs Michigan game is ROCKING!!!
Thank BLEERGH Joe Burrow is from LSU. I can root for them without throwing up.
Old Co-worker just sent me this. Depressingly accurate to all the IT people here:
Still moar organised than most wiring closets I’ve seen
One of the dudes on the bench had a shirt that read “#NotNCAAProperty” – camera cut away pretty quick.
Oof! Which squadroon?
think was LSU
Joke’s on him, unfortunately.
Livers from Michigan was wearing that last game and I was astounded TNT actually talked about it instead of cutting away. That’s why CBS gets the big bucks!
Definitely thought that Crayton was a very weak 5 seed. I was told by certain peoples that I would grow wiser as I aged. I’d call them out but most of them are dead.
Engineer on my staff from Omaha, went to Nebraska, and picks Creighton to win it all in the office pool every year they make the tourney.
NO ONE EXPECTS THE JESUIT INQUISITION!
My two thoughts from watching this tournament:
1. I still have no clue “what is a foul”?
2. Have the shorts gotten shortsier?
3. What’s sorghum? I’ve been thinking about trying it.
If you end up trying it, please let us know here if sorghum is equal or better than bubble gum.
Either way, it’s a sandwich.
I have seen enough now to agree. Arguing is futile.
.
Fave sorghum:
-I keep telling ya, we just grow sorghum here.
-Uhum. So where’s the hookers?
-Out back. Oops.
My previous employer owned a shit ton of land, some of which grew sorghum. I could see it out of my office window. Still don’t know what the hell it is.
And what the fuck is milo?
God, that’s weird. What the hell is Goofy?
I think that it’s important for posterity’s sake that we should all watch/enjoy all of Sillycuse’s 3 pointers in the tourney so far. You’re welcome. It was nothing, really.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P0LL8ju1YPo&ab_channel=MarchMadness
I agree with the Hippo. This has been very entertaining.
One fixture away from two sets of Pac-12 hated rivals (Oregon/OSU, UCLA/USC) into the Sweet 16. Never thought we’d see that!
It defies belief that a country’s firearms laws are dictated by gun nuts. Holy Bananacakes…
Ask us Americans about abortion rights!
HippoSPAWN is ok, one of her roommates was there (at shooting site). Pretty scary!
Wonderful news. Glad she’s OK.
Yay!
Not to make light of the situation, but I am put in mind of when I was in Kabul; every time there was a Taliban terror attack or IED bombing in town, I would get inundated with email and text inquiries from friends and relatives as to my well-being. This in a city of over 3 million people. I never said anything, but always wondered why I didn’t get those types of queries when I was back home in San Antonio and a 10 or 15 car pileup on I-10 or I-35 nearby made the national news.
This is a fine sociological point.
You get more points for a troop than a civ from a thoughts/prayers standpoint.
I won’t mention that at the time I was a civil servant, nearly 50 years old, and 100 lbs overweight.
“100 pounds? That’s a nice, round figure.”
-Some Brit Guy
Probably my PSD bodyguard. They were all Brits.
See, just growing your own Kevlar vest!
You mean I put all these thoughts and prayers together for nothing?
So, another mass shooting, this time in Boulder CO. I guess things really are getting back to normal here in the good old USA!
oh shit, one of my kids lives there
Table Mesa?
Yes
Shit, I’ve BEEN to that King Soopers
Cell phone status check with kid possible?
I texted. Waiting to hear, though sure she is fine. Boulder is such a chill damn place, makes it seem extra awful.
Yeah, I’d expect it in RWNJ Colorado Springs, not Boulder.