Good evening, sir and/or madam. I'm sorry to interrupt you on such a beautiful Spring night, but have you heard the Good News of Kaylon Nakia "Poona" Ford Jr.? 5'11, 315+ pounds of Sheer Fireplug Grit. Look at that monster. But a jolly monster. The kind of monster who is friendly
Author: The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem
ABSOLUTE SCENES! Tuesday Open Thread
Hello, you beautiful reprobates! It is I, your beloved spiritual-leader-cum-figurehead-for-social-control! It's almost draft time, and when you open any sports website or (god forbid) turn on ESPN, you can feel the crackling tension build from the Draft Industrial Complex. Draftniks face pressure on so many fronts at this point: 1. Editorial pressure
Final Four for the Final Four: A Recursive Sunday Night Thread
Now pinch hitting...for DonT... Reverend Mayhem. Mayhem. Hi kids! Long time no bore-you-with-overly-twee-prose! It's perhaps the best time of the sporting year (Non-Football Division) for your average North American fan. Pro basketball and hockey are in the last sprint for the playoffs, so at least half the teams have Hope. F1 is still
Medical Miracles and Plague Pits: Tuesday Open Thread
Well that was a wild NFL week, wasn't it? I even had to learn some new HippoSpeak to process our beloved Thing He Sent Us. The biggest "news" today is that Cole Beasley, anti-vaxx hero and utter dumbshit, is apparently taking his 'talents' to...uh...Not South Beach. Typhoid Beasley will head to
What We Drank Last Night: Someone Wet My Pants (and Tuesday Open Thread)
Can I Get an Amen!?!: 2022 Buffalo Bills Preview and Tuesday Open Thread
2021 PREDICTION: 13-4, AFC Champions 2021 REALITY: 11-6, Divisional Round loss in an instant classic It is dark times for the Buffalo Bills faithful. It's not just Eric from Lackawanna putting his injury settlement on the line picking them to go to the Super Bowl. It's everyone. The Bills are currently 7:2
Rum, Simile and the Lash: M*A*S*H Edition (and Tuesday Open Thread)
Rum, Simile and the Lash: The FBI Raided My Snack Drawer (and Tuesday Open Thread)
[Redacted] Them Dolphins: Tuesday Night Open Thread
Seriously, screw those teal-wearing cockweasels (no offense to WakeZilla). Miami lost its 2023 first-round draft pick and 2024 third-round for violations of league policies related to the integrity of the game. Majority owner Stephen Ross lost $1.5 million and is "suspended" until mid-October. Minority owner (haha, not that kind of minority,
Wet Hot NFL Summer: Tuesday Night Open Thread
SEMI-SUBSTANTIVE FOOTBALL HAPPENINGS, PEOPLE! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! The last NFL players are in training camp today, meaning that HOT CAMP ACTION that doesn't involve which counselors got caught naked in the boat shed. At least I really hope not. Remember, we're coming up on the anniversary of now-Chiefs assistant Joe
The Devil Made Me Do It: Thursday Night Open Thread
Surely They Are Not *All* Stars? ASG Tuesday Open Thread
Good evening, reprobates and scoundrels. As absolutely nothing of professional football consequence is going on right now, it's time for our annual celebration of awkward semi-competitiveness: the MLB All-Star Game. LATE EDIT: Atlanta Falcons DT Eddie Goldman apparently woke up this morning and realized he had accidentally signed a contract with