Seriously, screw those teal-wearing cockweasels (no offense to WakeZilla). Miami lost its 2023 first-round draft pick and 2024 third-round for violations of league policies related to the integrity of the game. Majority owner Stephen Ross lost $1.5 million and is "suspended" until mid-October. Minority owner (haha, not that kind of minority,
Author: The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem
Wet Hot NFL Summer: Tuesday Night Open Thread
SEMI-SUBSTANTIVE FOOTBALL HAPPENINGS, PEOPLE! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! The last NFL players are in training camp today, meaning that HOT CAMP ACTION that doesn't involve which counselors got caught naked in the boat shed. At least I really hope not. Remember, we're coming up on the anniversary of now-Chiefs assistant Joe
The Devil Made Me Do It: Thursday Night Open Thread
Surely They Are Not *All* Stars? ASG Tuesday Open Thread
Good evening, reprobates and scoundrels. As absolutely nothing of professional football consequence is going on right now, it's time for our annual celebration of awkward semi-competitiveness: the MLB All-Star Game. LATE EDIT: Atlanta Falcons DT Eddie Goldman apparently woke up this morning and realized he had accidentally signed a contract with
Rum, Simile and the Lash: NFL Meats Edition (and Tuesday Open Thread)
Good Tuesday to you, reprobates! Hopefully the young week finds you in fine spirits, or at least drinking them. ACTUAL NFL NEWS! *The Chicago Bears and New England Patriots have consummated a trade! Notable first-round bust N'Keal Harry is exiting stage-left in exchange for a 2024 seventh-round pick. IMPLICATIONS ABOUND! -This is about
The Triumph of Shame: Thursday Open Thred
I'd like to start by congratulating our British readers on their new Prime Minister: Much digital ink has been spilled in relation to Boris Johnson's various scandals about his longstanding resistence to stepping down, despite being a giant festering ball of blubbering dogsnot. It's weird to the American eye, because the
God Shed His Grace On Thee: July 4 Open Thread
Rum, Simile and the Lash: Hail Squishface (and Tuesday Open Thread)
Rum, Simile and the Lash: Stagflationary Edition (and Tuesday Open Thread)
They Shoot Penguins, Don’t They?: A Larry King Not Live Tuesday Open Thread
Hello, friends, Larry King here. Things are heating up across the world of sporting, and I couldn't be happier if they also managed to preserve my penis in this cryogenic storage pod. Baseball is finally starting to cook, playoff hockey continues to surprise and delight with ever-more-gruesome penalties, and basketball
Rum, Simile and the Lash: Know When To Fold’em Edition (and Tuesday Open Thread)
It's a new week, kids! And due to Memorial Day, our US brethren and sister-en really are just starting a new week. I always questioned the American practice of placing "observed" holidays on Mondays instead of Fridays. Except our long-denied National Hangover Awareness Day, to be observed on Super Bowl Monday. Both