Can I Get an Amen!?!: 2022 Buffalo Bills Preview and Tuesday Open Thread

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem - September 6, 2022September 6, 2022

2021 PREDICTION: 13-4, AFC Champions 2021 REALITY: 11-6, Divisional Round loss in an instant classic It is dark times for the Buffalo Bills faithful. It's not just Eric from Lackawanna putting his injury settlement on the line picking them to go to the Super Bowl. It's everyone. The Bills are currently 7:2

Rum, Simile and the Lash: MAS*H Edition (and Tuesday Open Thread)

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem - August 23, 2022

Casualties! That is the word of the day in the NFL. It's Roster Cut-Down Day (Part II), and in an effort to trim their bloated training camp rosters to a slim-and-trim 80 players per team, we've had a spate of cuts and injury designations. As this is only Part II, there

Rum, Simile and the Lash: The FBI Raided My Snack Drawer (and Tuesday Open Thread)

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem - August 9, 2022August 9, 2022

I'm hesitant to write this now (late Monday night) because by the time this posts, some Weird Shit will probably have happened and people will be like "Why aren't you talking about the secret DeflateGate video they found in Donald Trump's underwear drawer?" But needs must when the Devil drives, and

[Redacted] Them Dolphins: Tuesday Night Open Thread

DFOing Good

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem - August 2, 2022August 2, 2022

Seriously, screw those teal-wearing cockweasels (no offense to WakeZilla). Miami lost its 2023 first-round draft pick and 2024 third-round for violations of league policies related to the integrity of the game. Majority owner Stephen Ross lost $1.5 million and is "suspended" until mid-October. Minority owner (haha, not that kind of minority,

Wet Hot NFL Summer: Tuesday Night Open Thread

DFOing Good

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem - July 26, 2022July 26, 2022

SEMI-SUBSTANTIVE FOOTBALL HAPPENINGS, PEOPLE! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! The last NFL players are in training camp today, meaning that HOT CAMP ACTION that doesn't involve which counselors got caught naked in the boat shed. At least I really hope not. Remember, we're coming up on the anniversary of now-Chiefs assistant Joe

The Devil Made Me Do It: Thursday Night Open Thread

DFOing Good

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem - July 21, 2022July 21, 2022

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Did you guys see the ESPYs last night? I mean, how wild was it when Dick Vitale kicked Steph Curry in the crotch for his Jim Valvano joke? And the dress (if you can call that scrap of cloth a "dress") that Billie Jean King was wearing??? More like "Battle

Surely They Are Not All Stars? ASG Tuesday Open Thread

Open Threads

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem - July 19, 2022July 19, 2022

Good evening, reprobates and scoundrels. As absolutely nothing of professional football consequence is going on right now, it's time for our annual celebration of awkward semi-competitiveness: the MLB All-Star Game. LATE EDIT: Atlanta Falcons DT Eddie Goldman apparently woke up this morning and realized he had accidentally signed a contract with

Rum, Simile and the Lash: NFL Meats Edition (and Tuesday Open Thread)

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem - July 12, 2022July 12, 2022

Good Tuesday to you, reprobates! Hopefully the young week finds you in fine spirits, or at least drinking them. ACTUAL NFL NEWS! *The Chicago Bears and New England Patriots have consummated a trade! Notable first-round bust N'Keal Harry is exiting stage-left in exchange for a 2024 seventh-round pick. IMPLICATIONS ABOUND! -This is about

The Triumph of Shame: Thursday Open Thred

DFOing Good

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem - July 7, 2022

I'd like to start by congratulating our British readers on their new Prime Minister: Much digital ink has been spilled in relation to Boris Johnson's various scandals about his longstanding resistence to stepping down, despite being a giant festering ball of blubbering dogsnot. It's weird to the American eye, because the

God Shed His Grace On Thee: July 4 Open Thread

DFOing Good

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem - July 4, 2022

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The real power in America is held by a fast-emerging new Oligarchy of pimps and preachers who see no need for Democracy or fairness or even trees, except maybe the ones in their own yards, and they don't mind admitting it. They worship money and power and death. Their ideal

Rum, Simile and the Lash: Hail Squishface (and Tuesday Open Thread)

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem - June 28, 2022June 28, 2022

Sorry I apologize for depriving you of my authorial brilliance last week. We were busy having a baby. Sister Squishface Mayhem was born last Tuesday. She cannot change shape or dance the meringue, but her gas may kill us all, so that's a parallel. UPDATE: I am informed that is the "merengue". This

Rum, Simile and the Lash: Stagflationary Edition (and Tuesday Open Thread)

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem - June 14, 2022June 14, 2022

So it's almost Father's Day. Coincidentally, I am jumping every time my wife moves her hand to her belly because she is in The Final Week of pregnancy and I keep expecting our second child to make her appearance at the least-opportune moment possible. This is a joyous and deeply