Well, it’s been a long wait, and it was rough. Was. For the naysayers: June ends tomorrow and training camps start in July. The science is unimpeachable. No more speculations based on drills in shorts—it’s over! Oh man, you can almost smell the Toradol. The wait gets worse every year, as all offseason
Author: Don T
SCOTUS Slants in Favor of The [REDACTEDS], You Don’t Have To
Yesterday, the Supreme Court of the U.S. decided Matal v. Tam. Simon Tam, lead singer of “The Slants”, applied for trademark protection of the band’s name—his reason: to reclaim the racial slur. The U.S. Patent and Trademark Office denied it, under a statute that prohibits registration of a trademark that
Your Pomp and Circumstance Open Thread
Graduations! Inorite? Last Monday was miss T’s turn. (?! ) But really: graduation ceremonies are a total drag. There’s no drama; everyone knows who’s getting what award. It’s barely a glorified roll call, with photo ops and speakers. I’ve attended around 20, and the speeches are the same: what a journey,
I Accidentally Had Vodka For Breakfast
The culprit: I opened the fridge and grabbed a half-empty water bottle of a greenish, Crystal Like substance. I gulped some during my commute and... ? ? ? ? Sure enough, had a smell and it was pungent. Not punchy like tequila or rum, nor aromatic like gin. Just the nondescript and soothing alcohol smell of
Lionel Messi: ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! (Part 107)
Messi received a nasty, teeth-loosening elbow on the first half of el clásico at Real Madrid. He had to change the jersey because it was bloody, and came on holding a gauze in his mouth. Several minutes later, this happened: Messi breaks through Real's defense for the 1-1 (via BeIn Sports) On the
Good Night Sweet Patriot: Aaron Hernandez, 1989-2017
Aaron Hernandez was found dead this morning, apparently hanging himself with a bedsheet tied to his cell window. Reactions were immediate. "My heart is broken", tweeted Latin Kings treasurer and superhero Tony Stark. Friends remembered Aaron Hernandez the man, not the convicted murderer and cold case scapegoat. An inmate, who declined to
April! God… DAMMIT – Offseason Sunday Open Thread
Rex Ryan’s Media Career Is Afoot
Rex Ryan "will be a permanent fixture in studio now" for ESPN's Sunday NFL Countdown after signing a multi year deal. 2016 in-studio talent on their way to the NFL Countdown set. Clockwise from top left and working in a spiral shape inward: Trent Dilfer, Randy Moss, Curtis Painter, Adam Schefter,
The Bullsh*t – Lie Line: Offseason Sunday Open Thread
Lies get a bad rap. Falsehoods are the lubricant of social life. The pantomime of “How are you doing today?” and “Fine, thank you” is only a mutual acknowledgment of mores. You think that’s “wrong maaan?” Then by all means, Your Authenticness: tomorrow morning answer to someone “Hungover as fuck”. It’s
LITTLE GUYS WIN!
Lincoln City FC, a FIF division team, goes to Premier League Burnley and wins their FA Cup game 1-0. The Fox Deportes guys were, rightfully, all over the refs for totally obvious calls for Burnley. They had a legit red and PK for a hand waved off, and the Red Imps
Superb Owl LI Predictions: Steven Wright
Thanks. This game is in Texas. I thought that’s why they billed it Super Bowl Lee. It’s the fifty-first Super Bowl but the game’s been played for 50 years. I wondered if anyone knew about the lost year. So I called Jamie Collins. Kyle Shanahan gets credit from getting consistent, solid performances out of
Titans Are 6-6: Are Aliens Involved?
Since the birth of civilization in Greece, the power of intellect has defined human endeavors. But equity is a universal force; thus, extraterrestrials gave pyramids and abstract thought to non-European ancients. If otherworldly folks gave Egyptians and Incas a leg up, how can anyone dispute that they've helped NFL inferiors like