Good Night Sweet Patriot: Aaron Hernandez, 1989-2017

Aaron Hernandez was found dead this morning, apparently hanging himself with a bedsheet tied to his cell window. Reactions were immediate. "My heart is broken", tweeted Latin Kings treasurer and superhero Tony Stark. Friends remembered Aaron Hernandez the man, not the convicted murderer and cold case scapegoat. An inmate, who declined to

April! God… DAMMIT – Offseason Sunday Open Thread

These are despairing times. The present has become anticipating the worst possible outcome in the foreseeable future. Or, for Jets fans, on draft day in a couple of weeks. We’re into Month #3 of the offseason. Delaying the draft has proven to create an unbearable vacuum of news and rumors after

The Bullsh*t – Lie Line: Offseason Sunday Open Thread

Lies get a bad rap. Falsehoods are the lubricant of social life. The pantomime of “How are you doing today?” and “Fine, thank you” is only a mutual acknowledgment of mores. You think that’s “wrong maaan?” Then by all means, Your Authenticness: tomorrow morning answer to someone “Hungover as fuck”. It’s

LITTLE GUYS WIN!

Lincoln City FC, a FIF division team, goes to Premier League Burnley and wins their FA Cup game 1-0. The Fox Deportes guys were, rightfully, all over the refs for totally obvious calls for Burnley. They had a legit red and PK for a hand waved off, and the Red Imps

Superb Owl LI Predictions: Steven Wright

Thanks. This game is in Texas. I thought that’s why they billed it Super Bowl Lee.   It’s the fifty-first Super Bowl but the game’s been played for 50 years. I wondered if anyone knew about the lost year. So I called Jamie Collins.   Kyle Shanahan gets credit from getting consistent, solid performances out of

Titans Are 6-6: Are Aliens Involved?

Since the birth of civilization in Greece, the power of intellect has defined human endeavors. But equity is a universal force; thus, extraterrestrials gave pyramids and abstract thought to non-European ancients. If otherworldly folks gave Egyptians and Incas a leg up, how can anyone dispute that they've helped NFL inferiors like

Amazement Is Not Leprosy Open Thread

As a ranked competitor in the World Series of Seething, I’m a fan of detachment. It is therefore distressing to see the proliferation of “that did not surprise me” as the go-to phrase for fake punditry. Bullshit: no one foresaw the Lions atop the NFC North. Not even Cootercrats. Another one

Week 8 Color Assault: Jaguars @ Titans Open Thread

Hello fans, this is the NFL. The Official Beer withdrew from this game and wanted to issue a statement. The parties settled for an undisclosed amount and a hashtag: #Out4Turdsday. So tonight the NFL hosts an Open Bar, albeit with only two selections. Indulge freely on room temperature Olde English; independent NFL sommeliers certified that cold

Photographs And Memories: BURN THEM [Titans 2016 Preview]

I was optimistic. The Bridgewater injury bummed me out, but the Bradford trade... It felt like a portent. I looked at the current roster--woof: very similar team to last year’s 3-13 squad. And then the narratives started bouncing inside my head. TITANS CROWN BRADFORD'S ASS Oh, you think that's impossible. Yet those

Live On Periscope: Tío Salamanca Gives Fantasy Draft Strategy

[3:30 sunlight shines into nursing home room with top production values.] Door Flies Open: Oh, Tío! Who knew that underneath your insatiable bloodlust there was an equally intense passion for fantasy football... DFO: Is it true that the Flex position was invented by a mule who ran with you back in Juárez? Tío Salamanca: DingDingDingDing. Nurse: Don’t