Broncos Country Discovers Absurdist Horror – Or, How I Survived The 2022 Season

In week 5 of the 2022 regular season I was tasked with taking over the Broncos blurbs for r/NFL’s Power Rankings weekly thread. 32 volunteers ranked the teams each week and wrote a short synopsis of their designated team’s previous game. Excited to contribute but never one to miss a chance to subvert a format, I decided to write microfiction instead of a synopsis every week.

“Oh, The Places You’ll Go…To Find A Lineman”

 Part 2: Draft Plan Boogaloo Setting: The Virginia Mason Athletic Center, Renton, WA. February 10, 2021 Ext. A fourth floor office. Two men sit at desks, surrounded by interns feverishly sorting through papers. A buzz of voices clutters the background. Pete Carroll & John Schneider sit at a table. In the background, a

“It’s All Gone Wrong, Pete & John” – The Seahawks Try To Bolster Their Lines (Part 5)

Ext. Two men sit on the sills of their car, taking in the Utah view and contemplating the directions their lives are going in. John Schneider: Pete? Pete Carroll: Yes, John? JS: How many more places do we have to visit? PC: Just this one, John. The draft is next week, so I just

The 2016 “Houston Texans” Preview

    George Berkeley was an eighteenth-century Irish philosopher who's primarily known for his ideas on immaterialism (later known as "subjective idealism"). This idea is that visible objects, even the world itself, only exist in the mind that perceives them. It is certainly counter-intuitive but contains a valuable insight that has been passed on

Your Saturday Night Shut-In Post

Ah Saturday night!  John Travolta had a fever for it, because that was the night he could go out, shake his ass to Donna Summer and not have to worry about going to work at that stupid paint store the next day.  Also no one questioned his sexuality for focusing

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