Tag: DFO

HRTN Opening Day Special

Beastmode Ate My Baby -
62

The scene: Out front of the DFO clubhouse. DFO prospect Cookiethulhu is busy sweeping up the street when Beerguyrob comes out of the clubhouse with a six-pack of beer. Cookiethulhu: I think that's it, sir. The street looks quite orderly now, I must say. Beerguyrob (motioning Cookiethulhu over): Good job, kid. I've

An Open Letter to New DFO Visitors

BrettFavresColonoscopy -
27

Open letters are all the rage these days. There's even the open letter to open letters. Someday soon I'll write an open letter to Apple about my iPhone autocorrecting kegger to legged or letter. Here at [DFO], we've noticed a slight uptick in traffic lately and expect (read: hope) that

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 46)

Beastmode Ate My Baby -
31

The scene: An empty road somewhere in the Midwest, where Future Moose recently ran someone over. That someone is now biting Moose on the arm. It seems pretty fair, all things considered. Ballsofsteelandfury (approaching): Hey, what the hell...? Future Moose (sighing as the man continues to bite at his outstretched arm): Well... Ballsofsteelandfury

To Bear Down or Not To Bear Down

BrettFavresColonoscopy -
53

That is the question. At the risk of stating the obvious, football is awesome. The hitting, the strategy, the fresh grass underfoot as your team of choice takes the field in that late summer warmth--they all fill you with excitement, anticipation, and joy. Yet there is a key ingredient required to

Tear Out Your Tongue

jjfozz -
110

I’m tired of talking. To everyone. Friends, coworkers, neighbors, children – those little heathens don’t pay attention anyway. The conversations we have are so goddamn mundane (25 cents word that I somehow remembered from SAT prep. I spent a lot of that class buzzed, trying to get into the pants of