Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 69) Special King-Size Edition!

Beastmode Ate My Baby - February 17, 2017February 17, 2017

The scene: A little-used U.S./Mexico border crossing, where a border patrol officer is showing a young rookie the ropes. Border Patrol Officer: Now, y'see, you've gotta know who to let through and who might be a clear and present danger to our country and the American way of life. Rookie: Yessir! But... Border

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 68)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - February 10, 2017February 8, 2017

The scene: The dark, dank dungeon of the Castle of Death, where the DFOers are being held prisoner. Marc Trestmans Windowless Van, Covalent Blonde, Low Commander and Otto's Brain are in a cell, as are their newfound luchador friends Señor Weaselo and La Araña Discoteca, after having been captured by

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 67)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - February 3, 2017February 1, 2017

The scene: The Moosemobile, with Covalent Blonde behind the wheel. She is currently navigating the long, twisting road leading up a craggy hill to the Castle of Death at breakneck speeds while the others hang on for dear life. Low Commander is riding shotgun, gripping the dashboard with one hand

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 66)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - January 27, 2017January 26, 2017

The scene: The open highway, where Moosemas Gorilla and Horatio Cornblower are driving down the road in a 1961 Corvette convertible. Moosemas Gorilla is driving, while Horatio is riding in a sling hanging from the rear-view mirror. Horatio Cornblower: Ah, the open road! It's great to get away from all of

A Completely Neutral, Thorough Preview of the AFC Championship Game

WCS - January 21, 2017January 20, 2017

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WCS: Well, strangely enough, the Steelers are in the AFC Championship Game. Again. Oh, and it's against the Patriots. Again. This after being 4-5 at one point in November. They've since run off nine-straight wins, won the AFC North, and got through their first two playoff games. Mike Tomlin and

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 65)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - January 20, 2017January 19, 2017

The scene: A dark, foreboding castle, high up on a craggy hill. The moon is full, a bright beacon in the inky blackness of the Stygian night. A bat flies by, the flapping of its wings the only sound that breaks the unnatural silence until, far off in the distance

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 64)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - January 13, 2017January 12, 2017

The scene: The open road, just a ways from the Door Flies Open clubhouse, purt near the edge of town and a stone's throw away from the highway. Future Clone Debbie Harry is striding down the road towards the clubhouse while PK, carrying three car batteries, struggles to keep up.

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 63)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - January 6, 2017January 5, 2017

The scene: Doktor Zymm's car, where Future Moose is driving Zymm back to the DFO clubhouse from Wally's World of Waffles. Man in Plaid #2's head is riding on the dash. Future Moose: That was great! I can't believe Wally's still has the 36-inch waffle. Doktor Zymm: I can't believe you ate

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 62)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - December 30, 2016December 30, 2016

The scene: An unnamed bar in the Free and Sovereign State of Chihuahua, Mexico. Ballsofsteelandfury is sitting at a table in a dark corner, along with Covalent Blonde, Low Commander, Marc Trestmans Windowless Van and Otto's Brain. Although Otto's Brain is actually on the table rather than at it, being

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 61)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - December 23, 2016December 22, 2016

The scene: The DFO clubhouse, where the Moosemas party is in full swing. The music is loud, the Moosemas Brew is flowing freely, and the DFOers are partying hard. DTZM (at the bar): Hey, this is great! I'm glad everyone is getting a chance to unwind. WCS (also at the bar):

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 60)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - December 16, 2016December 16, 2016

The scene: Doktor Zymm's laboratory, where she is finally completing her work on Future Moose. Zymm is wearing her super-sciencey microscopic glasses and inserting a thin screwdriver into his ear while he sits up, unmoving. Man in Plaid #2's head sits on her workbench. Man in Plaid #2's Head: OK,

Hard Ride To Nowhere (Chapter 59)

Beastmode Ate My Baby - December 9, 2016December 8, 2016

The scene: Doktor Zymm's laboratory in the DFO clubhouse. Zymm has a pair of super hi-tech surgical magnifying glasses on, and is carefully working on the body of Man in Plaid #2, trying to extract one of the microscopic fusion cells that power his android form...without, say, dropping it and