Your “So Let Me Clear My Throat” Thursday Open Thread

BrettFavresColonoscopy - May 19, 2022May 19, 2022

Good evening, fellow miscreants and dick joke enthusiasts. As you may have noticed, without Thursday Night Football and hobo season, we don't have a regular Thursday night poster (is that joke out of bounds now that he's paralyzed?). So sometimes you get tehHippo, sometimes you get DonT, sometimes you get

Help BFC Stock the Bar

BrettFavresColonoscopy - May 4, 2022May 3, 2022

Greetings, imaginary and non-imaginary friends alike! Lady BFC and I have ceased our nomadic lifestyle and have finally landed in a new home. That's all very exciting, yes yes, but let's focus on the important thing--I can FINALLY stock my bar. My neglected, nearly drained, and yet still-beloved-despite-largely-being-abstract-for-nigh-a-year bar. For the

Not Stuck, Just Tightly Comfortable – Monday Open Thread

Don T - March 7, 2022March 7, 2022

I must have been in a morose daze these last coupla weeks because I failed to realize that the pandemic ended. The NFL dropped all Covid protocols, and mask mandates are on the outs seemingly everywhere (source: seemingly, K?). Here in Puerto Rico, where we’ve had strict measures since 03/20, it

Your “I Guess I Volunteered Myself” Thursday Evening Open Thread

Senor Weaselo - January 13, 2022January 13, 2022

2b.jpgServes me right for asking, now I get to do it. Here's the news! -David Culley (Team Not Found) is fired after one season. Even though a nonexistent team went 4-13 with a nonexistent roster not expected to compete after their one good player was asked to not show up ever

Live, from the First World! New Year’s Eve Eve Open Thread

Don T - December 30, 2021December 30, 2021

In the Caribbean, at a dinner table littered with work papers, sits something in a dark blue suit. He would be handsome, if not for the Steve Bannon hair and figure. He is doodling happy faces, with dollar-sign eyes and tongue, around the phrase “Statehood for Puerto Rico NOW!”--and is

Better Than You, Swarthie: Argentina Preview – Copa América 2020 (In 2021!)

Don T - June 12, 2021June 12, 2021

Some Hispanic folks will try to out-white anyone by pointing to European lineage, paleness, or micropenis. The President of Argentina volunteered anecdotal evidence. Last Wednesday, el presidente Alberto Fernández received a state visit, in Buenos Aires, from the Prime Minister of Spain. Fernández was getting smarmy with a colleague from la

What Day Is It Today? Thursday? Evening Open Thread

Open Threads

BrettFavresColonoscopy - January 2, 2020January 2, 2020

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Oh, hi there. As you've likely noted, BrewHombreRoy is off looking for clues in a series of brutal hobo murders. For those of you that don't know me, I'm BrettFavresColonoscopy, I lackadaisically write the DFO mailbag, and I'm filling in just for tonight. I insert a lot of extraneous links

Mouth Flies Open: DFO Mailbag #17

BrettFavresColonoscopy - December 18, 2019December 18, 2019

The team at DFO is committed to brightening the world with insights, observations, and dick jokes. This mailbag feature is just one more way in which we extend our mission beyond football to the rest of life’s broad and multi-chromatic palette. We're getting closer and closer to the inevitable Chiefs-Patriots AFC Championship matchup--AND spending

Mouth Flies Open: DFO Advice Mailbag #16

BrettFavresColonoscopy - November 4, 2019November 4, 2019

The team at DFO is committed to brightening the world with insights, observations, and dick jokes. This mailbag feature is just one more way in which we extend our mission beyond football to the rest of life’s broad and multi-chromatic palette. The NFL season is a reality for 28 or so teams, so the

What Kind of Circus Features Kickers? Your 2019 Chicago Bears Preview

BrettFavresColonoscopy - August 27, 2019August 27, 2019

Awesome Photoshop courtesy of Low Commander of the Super Soldiers Ah, the NFL offseason, always filled with optimism, Dan Snyderschadenfraude, and this year, a veritable Who's That? of placekickers taking a ride on the Chicago Bears carousel. Do you remember how last season ended? I wonder if anyone in Chicago has? Let's take a

Your “International Left-Handers Day” Tuesday Evening Open Thread

Open Threads

The Maestro - August 13, 2019August 13, 2019

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Wait, huh? How did I get stuck with this? I'm too drunk for this. I have no insightful banter for you, so in lieu of that, I just have a shitload of lists. Oh yeah, I guess today is also International Left-Handers Day - another holiday I get to celebrate!

Your Pretexts And Excuses Sunday Open Thread

Don T - August 4, 2019August 4, 2019

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There’s only a handful of Sundays left until the return of the massive zombie-in that is the NFL season. The spirit soars at the thought of Sundays glued to 10+ hours of NFL games, which gets you 48 net minutes of NFL action and a lifetime of rancor from “neglected”