Mouth Flies Open: DFO Advice Mailbag #5

BrettFavresColonoscopy - January 15, 2019January 15, 2019

The team at DFO is committed to brightening the world with insights, observations, and dick jokes. This mailbag feature is just one more way in which we extend our mission beyond football to the rest of life’s broad and multi-chromatic palette. Fantasy football questions still welcome but by no means required. If you

Two Ears, One Mouth and All–DFO Mailbag Submissions

BrettFavresColonoscopy - December 24, 2018December 23, 2018

Thanks to those who participated in the debut edition of Mouth Flies Open, the don't-call-it-a-sequel revamped reboot of the DFO Advice Mailbag. We had some great questions, some meh questions, and some hopefully entertaining if not-cranked-all-the-way-to-eleven-illuminating advice. The only way this advice column works is with audience participation--from DFOers, your friends,

HAWT PRESEASON AXXSHUN! Thursday Night

WCS - August 9, 2018August 9, 2018

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WEEK ONE OF THE PRESEASON WOOOOOOOOOO.... Who's ready to watch sixth-round draft picks from Middle Tennessee State run into undrafted guys from Cal-Poly and Mount Union?! This is our methadone for the four weeks, before our six month heroin bender begins. 24 teams (that's 75% of the league; MATH!) play tonight. Here's

Your “Make Sure To Get Rid Of The White Robes In The Basement” Tuesday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob - May 15, 2018May 15, 2018

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NFL News: The new Panthers owner is going to be David Tepper, the Appaloosa Management hedge fund creator who is also a minority owner of the Steelers. He's worth $11 billion, and is apparently paying $2.2 billion in cash. Higher bids were turned down in favour of a single buyer paying

2018 NFL Free Agent Round-Up

BrettFavresColonoscopy - March 2, 2018March 2, 2018

Banner image via Kingman County News Folks we are less than two weeks from the start of Free Agency, and while the NFL doesn't have a "hot stove", it most certainly has a hot cauldron of lust. Or something. Errybody's got lists of top NFL free agents, but as our own yeahright has

Partying in the Underworld

Senor Weaselo - January 29, 2018January 29, 2018

It's a rainy Sunday noonish, and a man with a violin is finishing his teaching for the day. Yes, of course it's Senor Weaselo, who else would it be? Senor: All right, done for the day. Maybe I'll get a bagel and a haircut? His phone starts ringing and popping up on the

2017 Quotables — Week 8 Results

Ball already across the line? Touchdown Seahawks!

Quotables

BrettFavresColonoscopy - November 3, 2017November 3, 2017

SCENE: Deep in the #Content mines of DFO, a group of trained monkeys--I mean DFO writers--are shackled to their typewriters. Someone gave tWBS a laptop once, and after that, no one was issued a wifi-enabled device ever again. Quietly, nearly imperceptibly, YEAHRIGHT and SHOGUN MARCUS begin whispering to each other,

Your “Final Day of the Beer Selling Season” Wednesday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob - August 30, 2017August 30, 2017

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Today is the last day of the regular season at The Nat, so forgive me if the preview is short. I'm excited because people will be throwing their unused gift certificates at us, and the kegs we don't drain we drink! I'm taking a cab home because I anticipate being

“Dingers, Dingers!” Your Monday Evening HR Derby/ANW Open Thread

Senor Weaselo - July 10, 2017July 10, 2017

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(The terrifying truth, of course, was the steroids.) And now, I think it's the news! NFL News Only 59 days until football! Real football! That counts in the standings! 24 days until I Can't Believe It's Football, the Hall of Fame Game! And 12 days until the first team's first practice! (That would

Commentist Beer Barrel: Boots on the Ground – San Diego International Beer Festival 2017

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers - June 21, 2017June 21, 2017

Ladies, Gentlemen and Beings of Inconceivable Horror, welcome to yet another guest edition of the Beer Barrel without Make It Snow. I am Low Commander of the Super Soldiers and much like Mattingly's sideburns, you just can't get rid of me. But fear not, for I have an extra special edition

Your “It’s Only the Unofficial Start of Summer, It’s Still Good!” Memorial Day Open Thread

Senor Weaselo - May 29, 2017May 29, 2017

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Seriously, I can't be the only one miffed, nay, irked, that the Stanley Cup Final goes in June at this point. In what world is there ice in fucking June? Other than, you know, the Southern Hemisphere since it's winter there. (For what it's worth, I also have beefs with

Request Line: The Afterlife

DFO radio

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly - May 19, 2017May 19, 2017

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INT. RECORDING STUDIO – DAY A pair of radio professionals are standing in front a large piece of electronic equipment. The large piece of electronic equipment is visibly excited, no I don't know how to show that onscreen you're supposed to be some big hotshot director, you figure it out. PRODUCER: All