Your “Final Day of the Beer Selling Season” Wednesday Evening Open Thread

Today is the last day of the regular season at The Nat, so forgive me if the preview is short. I’m excited because people will be throwing their unused gift certificates at us, and the kegs we don’t drain we drink! I’m taking a cab home because I anticipate being this loaded:

NFL News:

The NFL has cancelled the Houston-Dallas game on Thursday.
- Over 40,000 tickets had already been sold in Dallas, with proceeds going to disaster relief.
Proving you can marry incompetence to ineptitude, the Browns released Joe Haden.
- who will no doubt promptly sign with the Steelers or Patriots and win many rings.
- The word in Florio-town is that Haden refused to take a pay cut – he was scheduled to earn $11 million in 2017.
Ezekiel Elliott’s appeal entered a second day today, and it may continue into Thursday.
- The League testified yesterday it relied on “independent advisers” who gathered evidence that couldn’t be used at trial, but did prove (to them) Elliott had put hands on the accuser.
- There is also the chance the ruling may not happen before the start of the season, which may delay the start of any missed games.
Proving Art Briles wasn’t their first attempt at a bad decision this week, the Tiger-Cats apparently worked out Johnny Manziel.
- If you can’t make an 0-8 CFL roster, it might finally be time to pass on that dream.
- According to TSN, they quote a source as saying JFF “had too many red flags”.

Finally, ESPN has the charming story of a soon-to-be defunct business which will rent you jerseys, so you don’t have to keep up with yearly tweaks & player movements.

Rep The Squad is selling monthly subscriptions that will allow fans to pick what jerseys they want to wear and have the items sent to them one at a time.
- When a jersey is returned in a prepaid envelope, the next jersey in their queue (or “locker”) is sent out.

“How many jerseys can you really afford to own?” Watkins said. “Wouldn’t it be nice to not only wear the players on your favorite team, but also be able to wear the jerseys of the players on your fantasy team?”

The monthly “subscription” to the service will be $19.95 for adults and $16.95 for children.
The company hopes to eventually go into all major pro sports teams, but at launch, which is Wednesday, the company will only have jerseys for fans of the San Francisco 49ers, Seattle Seahawks and Detroit Lions.
- Richard Sherman is a brand spokesperson. Seattle Seahawks wide receiver Doug Baldwin; Detroit Lions wide receiver Golden Tate; Los Angeles Chargers lineman Russell Okung; and Seattle Mariners legend Edgar Martinez are also investors.

Tonight’s sports:

MLB:
- Rangers vs. Astros – from Tampa! – 7:00PM | ESPN / TSN5
  - Deadspin has a good explanation as to why they didn’t just flip home dates.
- Red Sox at Blue Jays – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
- A’s at Angels – 10:00PM | Sportsnet1
Tennis:
- U.S. Open Tennis: Second-round play – 7:00PM | ESPN2 / TSN

So, I’ll see you tomorrow for all the preseason finales. Me and/or Scotchy should have a couple of previews of the national games. Until then,

JUST HOOK IT INTO MY VEINS!

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Tags: Beerguyrob Cash money Factory of Sadness Gratuitous Simpsons References It’s Preseason Season! Man – there’s nothing on Roger Goodell is a National Disgrace

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Buddy Cole’s Halftime Show

August 31, 2017 3:34 am

So it’s almost 4 am Buddy time, and I feel very vulnerable so here goes.

I am 27 and live with my parents and it eats away at me every day. My OCD has really derailed my academic career to the point that “academic probation” is just another e-mail I get each semester. I’ve failed/withdrew from a class so many times, my current school wouldn’t let me take it there (it was a blessing in disguise, community college wasn’t as rigid). I refuse to be on Facebook or really connect with a lot of people because seeing the ones around my age being successful and independent just ruins me mentally. They have their own places, I feel broken and try to shake intrusive thoughts on a daily basis. When I can’t shake them, I binge eat to numb it all.

Mentally, I still feel like that scared shitless middle schooler who get queasy during basketball games because I didn’t not want to get in the game. That scared shitless kid, who had intrusive thoughts as early as 8 years old but just didn’t say anything because there was no concept that they were abnormal nor that they didn’t make me a bad person. I bottled them all in until I was 16. It still is a battle to break the connection that bad, intrusive thoughts = bad person. For example, when I worked at a school, I had an intrusive thought after changing a child’s diaper and I refused to do it again for 2 years even if I looked like an unhelpful asshole. And who the fuck do you tell this and related stuff to outside of a professional who actually knows my form of OCD?

“Actually teacher, the real reason I don’t want to change them is because I had an intrusive thought that made me irrationally think I was a pedophile, and I wanted to off myself for about a week. Avoiding it isn’t ideal, but it helps for the time being.”

The gay-themes to my jokes and whatnot comes from a place of having an especially intrusive thought when I was 16 and I swore I had to be gay as a result. It’s what my brain’s rigidity is prone to: you thought X, you must be Y. I got a therapist and medicated, but that particular instance of bad brains nearly broke me entirely. Again, who do you tell? Being able to do homoerotic humor is really a triumph when you consider where I was 11 years ago. It hasn’t left me fully though, and it has turned any level of having an intimate friendship or female partner to dust because I associate intimacy and vulnerability with being misunderstood and used as weapons against me in the future. There’s a similar rationale to some of the things I say to the female commentators here.

So if you were wondering what it’s like to be wired like a self-conscious, hyper-aware 13 year old boy who is still defensive and leery of people in general because he is awaiting his next social embarrassment of humiliation, it’s not fun.

King Hippo

Admin

Reply to Buddy Cole’s Halftime Show

August 31, 2017 7:19 am

If it’s any consolation, Buddy – we are all pretty mega-fucked up here. It’s an honor you feel able to be both hilarious AND vulnerable here. You are a valued member of Glorious Commentist Party.

Don T

Admin

Reply to Buddy Cole’s Halftime Show

August 31, 2017 8:37 am

I know that feeling. Realizing most people I knew didn’t really give a shit about my wellbeing was liberating. Why would anyone outside your household judge your living situation? Fuck. Them.
Do your thing* man, and screw perception and opinion. It’s always great when you drop by.

* Inapplicable to criminal or douche behavior.

ballsofsteelandfury

Admin

Reply to Buddy Cole’s Halftime Show

August 31, 2017 9:04 am

Hippo said it better than I could. You are welcome here just the way you are. We’ll support you any way we can.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Admin

Reply to Buddy Cole’s Halftime Show

August 31, 2017 9:11 am

Buddy,
I feel for you, sincerely. But stop worrying about what anyone else thinks of you.

1) Everyone’s life is fucked up in one way or another, regardless of the happy happy joy joy bullshit they post on facebook or anywhere else.

2) I stay off facebook other than to communicate the handful of friends whom I haven’t yet lost all respect for, but who seem to want to communicate via facebook. I go on there once or twice a week to check msgs, and am always appalled/enlightened/LMFAO’d by the bullshit I see.

3) The brain does what it does, sometimes without our consent. Seems to me your reaction to those thoughts, which we’ve all had in one form or another, was appropriate. You’re good, stop beating yourself up over it.

4) Interpersonal relationships are difficult to navigate no matter what. Romantic relationships are even more difficult, of course. We’ve all had relationships where we’ve revealed things to the other person, then regretted it when the relationship failed. But that doesn’t mean that’s why it failed. And there’s always fault on both sides. You can’t close yourself off just because of past relationships failing. I get the temptation…more than you know. But that’s no way to live.

5) Just be yourself, man. And anyone who doesn’t like yourself can fuck off. Or come talk to me. You are an awesome, funny, sensitive (too much for your own good, and I can relate to that) human being. Sometimes, that means things are gonna hurt more.

6) I’m 50. I live with my mother. It’s not ideal, but due to her health situation it’s necessary for now. Doesn’t mean it defines me. Nor does it define you. Everyone’s situation is what it is.

tl;dr : Let Buddy be Buddy. Buddy is fine. It’s the rest of the world that is fucked. Stop beating yourself up. Love yourself my man. You deserve it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WC5FdFlUcl0

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Admin

Reply to theeWeeBabySeamus

August 31, 2017 10:32 am

Yeah, fuck facebook.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Admin

Reply to Buddy Cole’s Halftime Show

August 31, 2017 10:32 am

Damn, Hippo really did say it best. But I’ll pile on with the support/internet :hugs:

Everyone’s mind is fucked up in different ways. We all deal with it in different ways. You’re working on it, and you should give yourself credit for that because some people just shrug and say fuck it. For what it’s worth, I don’t know anyone who didn’t go through SOMETHING fucked up around 25-28, call it a quarterlife crisis or actually realizing there were problems they hadn’t dealt with or life bringing a fresh trauma to deal with. The best advice I got was to practice self-care. Not self-love (though that’s important/nice, too, whether or not we’re talking about masturbation), but taking the time to figure out what you need, whether that’s a break from facebook/people or a massage or a therapy session or a nap, and giving yourself permission to need it and credit for taking care of the need. You’re hyperself-aware, which is a blessing and a curse, so know that you’re welcomed here and even in other places that you may assume don’t welcome you. Keep being Buddy, but the real one, not just the persona.

Unsurprised

August 31, 2017 2:41 am

Aaron Rodgers speaks the truth, can still go fuck himself.

https://www.theguardian.com/sport/2017/aug/30/aaron-rodgers-colin-kaepernick-nfl-protests

Wakezilla

Editor

August 31, 2017 2:19 am

As I am watching Iron Fist, all I can think of is ‘lackies really need to unionize and demand good benefits because their job is bullshit.’ These poor bastards die or get brutally maimed while the main baddy gets treated rather well.

Danny Rand is brutally beating the minions down, but Madame Goa is just sitting on a chair.

On an unrelated note, there isn’t nearly as many gifs of Colleen Wing looking fine as hell. The internet dropped the ball on that one.

Unsurprised

August 31, 2017 12:43 am

I love how in the last year everyone has decided they have a moral imperative to show the rest of us their asses. It’s great because it’s become a lot easier to know for certain which are the worthless pieces of fuck.

Wakezilla

Editor

Reply to Unsurprised

August 31, 2017 2:09 am

Not necessarily a bad thing… What do you mean?

Unsurprised

Reply to Wakezilla

August 31, 2017 2:43 am

I mean that everyone has decided to become forthright about where they stand on fundamental matters of justice and humanity, and SPOILER ALERT, most people are sunk beneath the shittiest beliefs possible.

That is a great, GREAT fucking gif.