Your “Final Day of the Beer Selling Season” Wednesday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

Beerguyrob

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Beerguyrob

Today is the last day of the regular season at The Nat, so forgive me if the preview is short. I’m excited because people will be throwing their unused gift certificates at us, and the kegs we don’t drain we drink! I’m taking a cab home because I anticipate being this loaded:


NFL News:

  • The NFL has cancelled the Houston-Dallas game on Thursday.
    • Over 40,000 tickets had already been sold in Dallas, with proceeds going to disaster relief.
  • Proving you can marry incompetence to ineptitude, the Browns released Joe Haden.
    • who will no doubt promptly sign with the Steelers or Patriots and win many rings.
    • The word in Florio-town is that Haden refused to take a pay cut – he was scheduled to earn $11 million in 2017.
  • Ezekiel Elliott’s appeal entered a second day today, and it may continue into Thursday.
    • The League testified yesterday it relied on “independent advisers” who gathered evidence that couldn’t be used at trial, but did prove (to them) Elliott had put hands on the accuser.
    • There is also the chance the ruling may not happen before the start of the season, which may delay the start of any missed games.
  • Proving Art Briles wasn’t their first attempt at a bad decision this week, the Tiger-Cats apparently worked out Johnny Manziel.
    • If you can’t make an 0-8 CFL roster, it might finally be time to pass on that dream.
    • According to TSN, they quote a source as saying JFF “had too many red flags”.

Finally, ESPN has the charming story of a soon-to-be defunct business which will rent you jerseys, so you don’t have to keep up with yearly tweaks & player movements.

  • Rep The Squad is selling monthly subscriptions that will allow fans to pick what jerseys they want to wear and have the items sent to them one at a time.
    • When a jersey is returned in a prepaid envelope, the next jersey in their queue (or “locker”) is sent out.

“How many jerseys can you really afford to own?” Watkins said. “Wouldn’t it be nice to not only wear the players on your favorite team, but also be able to wear the jerseys of the players on your fantasy team?”

  • The monthly “subscription” to the service will be $19.95 for adults and $16.95 for children.
  • The company hopes to eventually go into all major pro sports teams, but at launch, which is Wednesday, the company will only have jerseys for fans of the San Francisco 49ers, Seattle Seahawks and Detroit Lions.
    • Richard Sherman is a brand spokesperson. Seattle Seahawks wide receiver Doug Baldwin; Detroit Lions wide receiver Golden Tate; Los Angeles Chargers lineman Russell Okung; and Seattle Mariners legend Edgar Martinez are also investors.

Tonight’s sports:

  • MLB:
    • Rangers vs. Astros – from Tampa! – 7:00PM | ESPN / TSN5
      • Deadspin has a good explanation as to why they didn’t just flip home dates.
    • Red Sox at Blue Jays – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
    • A’s at Angels – 10:00PM | Sportsnet1
  • Tennis:
    • U.S. Open Tennis: Second-round play – 7:00PM | ESPN2 / TSN

So, I’ll see you tomorrow for all the preseason finales. Me and/or Scotchy should have a couple of previews of the national games. Until then,

JUST HOOK IT INTO MY VEINS!

Beerguyrob
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.

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scotchnaut
Member

The old man in me says that the only movie that deserves a Cat Stevens tune is Harold and Maude.

King Hippo
Member

I’m sure he’s featured in plenty of terrorist training films ,, smgdh

scotchnaut
Member

Oof!

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Counterpoint:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ccvdDTqo95s

Almost Famous is Cameron Crowe’s only good movie; it’s the only one that feels even remotely authentic and human.

Redshirt
Member

Dear Factory,

What the hell? You’re so tired of screwing yourselves over, you go ahead and give our common enemy the Squealers a good player motivated to play out of his mind so he’ll shut down our receivers. You suck!

Love,
Bungals and Shitbirds

blaxabbath
Member

THE PAULS

King Hippo
Member

Will this meme its way into Hippo Thoughts? Does one chuh follow the other??

LemonJello
Member
LemonJello

Bullee Dat

Wakezilla
Member

Haden got released? He seems like a nice guy, so, he’ll sign with the Pats instead of bitterly signing with the Steelers

King Hippo
Member

Maybe this helps them beat the P*ts?

/will not be anywhere near enough to beat the P*ts

//one of the Rotowire guys DID pick your Striped Pylons to make the Superb Owl, though!

Redshirt
Member

Someone picked the Bengals to go to the Super Bowl?! I’m the biggest delusional Bengals fan in God’s green Earth (hell, I thought Akili Smith would’ve been good once they allowed him to play like himself and not Kenny Anderson (on my death bed, I will honestly say that Akili Smith showed a spark of life in 2001 against the Jets and if he didn’t get hurt he may have turned his career around)).

Now I’ve gone Full Beng-tarded in front of you all, let me say that I still don’t think the Bengals will go to the Super Bowl. Too many question marks in the lines. If everything goes right and they go to the playoffs and if God somehow allows me peace in my life and they somehow win the wild card game, they won’t make it past the Pats.

King Hippo
Member

I thought he was a good pick at the time. Wasn’t even on teh opiates back then!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

SEE! THAT’S HOW MUCH YOU KNOW ABOUT DRAFT PICKS!

*Also thought he was a good pick at the time. ….

King Hippo
Member

I never, ever, EVER hide the fact that I am muy el stupido. Yet I continue to put it on display for the people’s amusements. We all have our role.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

You CAN’T hide it….

Sorry; had to.

Redshirt
Member

He might’ve been a good pick. The Bengals had a fascination with drafting any QB and turning him into Ken Anderson, in spite of the skill set that they succeeding in college with.

(see Klingler, David)

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

I am a dork.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

@Hippo…
Here’s one I think you’d like. Just finally got back to the read-y read-y. This was a good first choice back.
Mark Sullivan “Beneath a Scarlet Sky”
https://www.amazon.com/Beneath-Scarlet-Sky-Mark-Sullivan-ebook/dp/B01L1CEZ6K/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1504139478&sr=8-1&keywords=beneath+a+scarlet+sky

King Hippo
Member

Looks good! Shall give it a read.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Beergoodrick by the third inning, “You want a beer, you get your own beer!”

Wakezilla
Member

That’s smart. He may not get as many tips, however, he’d get more beer at the end. Therefore, it evens out

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Cut out the middle-man. EFFICIENCY, BRO! YOU NEED MORE OF THAT UP THERE IN CANADIA!

LemonJello
Member
LemonJello

Beerduderalph after the game:
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Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

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LemonJello
Member
LemonJello

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King Hippo
Member

Wait, tomorrow’s “good” fixtures are tOSU @ Indiana and Tulsa @ Okie State? Fuck off, we don’t even get a Mississippi State/Vandy like usual?

Unsurprised
Member
Wakezilla
Member

He’s still alive, eh?

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

He either died at sea at the hands of a jealous husband months after or will outlive us all like cockroaches after the apocalypse.

King Hippo
Member

He is bad and should feel bad.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

You are a bad, bad person.

King Hippo
Member

I hope this is not news to anyone. THE. WORST. I should sue that f/x show for fucking inverse libel by implication.

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli
Member

BAD BAD BAD

King Hippo
Member

This reminds me that I am still waiting for my Everton #9 Sandro shirt to arrive. For fuck’s sake. It’s an international break this weekend, but I’d like it FOAR the 9 Sept. Lesser Footy thread.

Wakezilla
Member

Did you get this from an Asian site?

King Hippo
Member

No, but who knows if there is some go-between. It’s easy to get burned on these.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Rep The Squad is selling monthly subscriptions that will allow fans to pick what jerseys they want to wear and have the items sent to them one at a time.

There’s no tech bubble. It’s fine when this company has a valuation of $3 billion funded by Peter Thiel’s VC.

King Hippo
Member

Booky-books – I have a new amazeballs author FOAR teh imaginary peoples – Emily St. John Mandel. I first read “Station Eleven” and just now finished “The Singer’s Gun.” Both amazing pieces of storytelling, lyrical, almost poetic. Dark and simultaneously uplifting. Plus she’s Canadian!

Brick Meathook
Member
Brick Meathook

Any relation to Jill St. John? How about Moe St. Cool?

King Hippo
Member

u wud have 2 think so?

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Oooh, she cute too.

King Hippo
Member

chuh chuh. Thank fuck she’s married, so I don’t have to fantasize re stalking her.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Cuck, anyone?
Hehehehehe….sorry, sorry.

King Hippo
Member

MOAR LIEK beta incel, sad trombone.

/kills self for knowing these terms

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

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theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Is that Howie’s sister?

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Also about to make the purchase on Amazon.
Thx foar the heads up.

King Hippo
Member

will NAWT be disappoint. Station Eleven the best book I’ve read in at least 5 years

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Rrrrrrrrrowr

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LemonJello
Member
LemonJello

Sweet, fancy, chocolate-covered Moses! She’s gorgeous!

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Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Gallery with huge images.

Taken from a fansite, of which I just settled on this gallery.

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Wakezilla
Member

I’d like to be tutored by her

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised
Brick Meathook
Member
Brick Meathook

When she says that it means she likes you.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Funny you should ask. I’ve been called worse.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

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herodotus450
Member
herodotus450

I guess that makes Jerry the protagonist of those cartoons, considering when this was made.

LemonJello
Member
LemonJello

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Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Browns fandom

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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scotchnaut
Member

“ABSOLUTELY PERFECT!”

-Bruce Lee, directing his first porn film

King Hippo
Member

I don’t know what it says about me that I find this oddly arousing.

/maybe explains why around 90-95% of my exes are batshit insane, instead of the average man’s 70-75%

Wakezilla
Member

Ever received a flu shot only to get sick afterwards? Well, my daughter got her 12 month shots yesterday. She got one for the Rotavirus, Chicken pox, measles, mumps and another immune shot that escapes my memory at the moment.

Well, she is sick with a lot of the side effects (which is basically the symptoms of the virus) since last night and oh my god this is fucking horrible. She’s sleeping now. She spent most of last night throwing up. I stayed up until 5 am to keep an ear out for her while Mrs. Wakezilla slept. Babies with these symptoms do not sound good when they breathe. May need to buy cocaine soon to keep awake.

I began watching Iron Fist so I could get into Defenders. Iron Fist is cheesy bad. For those who have seen both, do you need to watch Iron Fist to get Defenders?

On a somewhat related note, as I watch the Ironfist, I cannot think about how cool it would be if we got a Batman show on Netflix, starting with Year 1. Now that Warner Bros might be doing elseworlds and thinking reboot, maybe they’d be willing to do such a thing?

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Have you seen the Year One animated movie? Good shit.

Wakezilla
Member

I have and love it. As long as my make believe show doesn’t take place in the Millerverse, I’d be happy.

It’s too depressing

litre_cola
Member

Wakezillais a Fins fan therefore Cutler is getting into the Zillas bloodstream. Soon, you wont care about anything except smokes and antivaxxing.

Wakezilla
Member

I already have the indifference down towards my shitty team

King Hippo
Member

DON’T GO CATLER.

The one year I missed my flu shot, I got so fucking sick that I was hallucinating. Fortunately, my then-wife and I caught it staggered enough that each was functional to parent at complementary times. We had like an 18 month old.

Immunizations are the tits. The thin, prickly line between tenuous civilization and the entire globe shitting out its brains through its eyeballs.

LemonJello
Member
LemonJello

I haven’t gotten a flu shot in a couple years, but Uncle Sam gave me so many inoculations over 20 years that I think I could survive Captain Tripps with nary a sniffle.

Wakezilla
Member

Love the Captain Tripps reference

herodotus450
Member
herodotus450

Keep some of her fluids; aerosolize them; spray them on anyone who starts a sentence with “I didn’t finish high school, but the mercury in vaccines-“; give no quarter as that blight on human enlightenment is removed; repeat.

Wakezilla
Member

I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again: Rob is a really friendly guy. We indirectly worked with each other at the Nat and every encounter I had with with him was always a pleasant one. The guy on the right, I forget his name, but, I interacted with him more on a game basis. He too was a cool cat.

Have fun getting wasted, Rob!

LemonJello
Member
LemonJello

Jeebus, the sprots landscape tonight is looking like:

a) a windswept moonscape
2) Wichita
😉 a little column a, a little column b

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Hello, Imaginary Internet Friends!

King Hippo
Member

King Hippo
Member

Rentals are a good way to be forward thinking re body image too – not all of us are anorexics who can fit into that XXL forevs ,, smgdh

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

The Rangers being dicks to the Astros merely reinforces that, broadly speaking, Texans suck.

scotchnaut
Member

/watching Guardians 2

I can confirm that the complete video game-ification of action movies has begun.

Senor Weaselo
Member

Does this cancel out the movie-fication of action video games?

blaxabbath
Member

“Renting jerseys is the ultimate way to show our fandom!”

-12’s realizing that the good times won’t last forever.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

It speaks volumes that their biggest player partner is Richard Sherman.

wpDiscuz