Oh boy, folks. It’s time to watch 10 crazy people yell at each other tonight.
Here is your list of lunatics, in descending order of poll results that don’t in any way matter yet:
The Donald
Jeb (Yep Another) Bush
Scott (Fuck the Poors) Walker
Ben (No Matter What He Says, He’s Somehow A Freaking Doctor) Carson
Mike (It’s So Bad That I’m Here) Huckabee
Ted (Yes, This Is My Dad’s Suit) Cruz
Rand (Sure, I Invented My Own Ophthalmology Certification Board) Paul
Marco (Where’s My Water) Rubio
Chris (Real Life Sopranos Governor) Christie
John (Who?) Kasich
Have at it, folks. We’ll be here all night to be just goddamned awful about these terrible people.
Also, some of these guys were very easy to find a ridiculous picture of (looking at you Ted Cruz) and some people, while they are lunatics, never take a dumb looking picture (Thanks Ben Carson. That’s 10 minutes I’ll never get back…).
Holy shit. Someone get Ben Carson some dressing for that word salad.
“Typical Democrat is uneducated” HAHAHAHAHA
Um, your party WANTS people to be stupid. REALLY REALLY WANTS THAT.
http://41.media.tumblr.com/079b2e2bca5bd039818cf0a6b7226aa0/tumblr_nc4hneOnQB1rrphlpo1_1280.jpg
HILLARY CLINTON TURNED ME INTO A NEWT!
Did you get better?
Women’s wombs everywhere are drying up in fear of these fucking asshole.
I buy politicians! Make me stop!
By making him one.
Oh look the Ashton Kutcher Steve Jobs movie just got a gritty remake
I’m glad that most of the country is idiots. It means higher salaries for people like me, who can do math.
My wife: “Me too, me too!”
See, there’s no War On Women. You guys have all the money. Now get in the kitchen and cook me something or I’ll not-assault you.
http://40.media.tumblr.com/c151bb0a08522a623d28290621c6d092/tumblr_nsoeavNF3l1snpk21o5_1280.png
“Curriculum reform” how? What? Where?
IT’S ALL JUST WORDS
Can’t wait for the state of Georgia’s space program which will put a rocket into orbit by tying a Bible to a broom handle and praying for Jesus to make it launch.
http://i.imgur.com/f5y9mtB.jpg
Tithing…OK, so we’re going back to 1457 here, then.
Federal gov is about to shrink, a third or so of the workforce is about to retire and there is basically a hiring freeze.
One day, and that day may never come, your God-Donald will ask you for a service. But until that day, take this money as a gift on my daughter’s wedding day.
Ooh, Cruz is gettin all butch talking about ISIS. I am turned on.
(I truly believe Ted Cruz would be knocked out by a stray butterfly.)
More charisma : T-Rex or T-Rump?
T-Rex. Gotta overcome that short-arm deficiency somehow.
somehow this makes me hate Facebook
Just this?
Facebook hates us all.
This is glorious.
Donald trump is terrible at making it rain
SSSSHHHHHHAAADDDDEEEEE
“Trump has a big company” reference, DRINK
I wish Killer Mike was a moderator for this.
WHY AM I DOING THIS TO MYSELF
http://www.llllitl.fr/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/edward-norton-fight-club-gif-auto-kick-punch-in-the-head.gif
http://41.media.tumblr.com/960c5bc5354b188c18f809cbf505ca15/tumblr_nslas8k3wL1uxticxo1_500.jpg
So THERE you are.
So, who would join me in stealing the “T” off of the “Trump” on Trump Tower in Chicago?
I like that those giant letters are now a part of several city “disaster” tours.
I’ll help, but we have to have code-names.
Walker looks like he forgot to take the buttplug out.
Ooof, Jeb proving he’s just like his bro. More brain but half the charisma
It’s the size of Indiana? So all we need to do is make Indiana smaller!
But then the Fat Humps won’t fit!
MAKE THE PIE HIGHER!
GRAVY BOATS FOAR GRAVY FLOATS
Did you know Jeb’s brother was a president ? And Ryan Fitzpatrick went to Harvard?
Jerome Bettis is from Detroit.
http://i.imgur.com/XOhgnFT.jpg
they all need haircuts…
What about bodacious Islamic terrorists?
Bonus points if the candidates can avoid using a racial slur for their responses.
Interesting, playing 9/11 and Sandy off each other.
http://img2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120327205435/simpsons/images/f/f0/Fight!_Fight!_Fight!_etc..gif
FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT
GET A ROOM!
Blood in the water!
BOOOOOOO I HATE THE BILL OF RIGHTS
RNP (in unison): This Rubio guy seems pretty intelligent… Let’s destroy him!
Conservative policy is strangely stalinstic
“Respecting liberties”
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Strong showing by Rubio and Kasich so far. Trump doing Trump the best he can.
Didn’t St. Ronnie die so that we might live in a world without walls?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0zXiClnK8oE
El Chapo sighting!!
We’re losing to China! They built a border wall hundreds of years ago!
To be fair, we in America have always done better at keeping out the Mongolians.
That’s right! Only we let them in so we could enjoy their delicious meats.
Kanye west is a better candidate than any of these people
Yes. Feed the beast. FEED HIM. MAKE HIM STRONGER.
Fucking anti-Bloomberg campaign being run by the NRA… Bloomberg wants to take yur guns and junk fud!!!
I will never vote for Trump because he killed summer pro-football.
http://i.imgur.com/jolXlDt.jpg