Holy crap, it’s here. We have ACTUAL, COUNTING FOOTBALL for the first time in roughly 10 quatrillion years. We’ve been subjected to preseason football, Ballghazi, Spygate Redux, The assorted ongoing [*Redacted] s debacle, the goddamned Patriots being your returning champions, the preseason knee apocalypses of Jordy Nelson and Kelvin Benjamin, thousands of terrible think pieces about violence and concussions, the weird muzzling of Junior Seau’s daughter at the Hall of Fame, Geno Smith getting punched in the face by a teammate, and everything else awful pertaining to football being dragged into the light. Sadly, this is in no way a comprehensive list.
But now, we’re here. We’ve climbed an Everest of garbage and planted our dick joke flag on top of NFL mountain. Let’s have a great time tonight, kids.
FOO’BAW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2nd Half Post is up HERE
What happened to Shazier’s eyebrows?
Is Shazier a clone of James Harrison?
Holy shit. Is there football on my TV? Can I really believe it? The patriots are being accused of cheating in the first? Yeah, it’s real.
Destiny: Please buy this shit, we spent 500 million dollars making it and still haven’t made that money back.
Wonder what odds you could have got betting on a scoreless 1st quarter?
Jesus Cris could you be any lamer with those nicknames.
Not every commentator can be Jon Gruden.
Is Aaron Hernandez playing QB for the Cheats, because #12 is murdering my fantasy team right now.
Heath freaking Miller already has 7 points for my opponent…Brady has less than 2. What an asshole.
I love how Collinsworth talks about how “every team has a story of strange things happening at Foxboro” as if everyone’s jealous and they all are making shit up.
No, you Cincinnati-loving dipshit, if “every team” has a story, maybe there’s a fucking pattern of cheating. Considering the team’s been caught multiple times, maybe–just maybe–one of the things they’re really good at is breaking rules.
Everyone has stories of Cris Collinsworth not molesting underaged sheep…
Was Chris Collinsworth playing pocket pool or actually jacking off below camera view: You Decide
Are they actually calling holding penalties against the Patriots? It’s a Festivus miracle.
Wait is Cris not acting as an apologist for the Patriots.
SO MUCH BULLSHIT
Apparently Al and Cris received a memo from NFL that they were finally allowed to talk about the Patriots
“A spade of stories? Oh hell no.” -Riley Cooper
My fiance is making smores. I wonder how bourbon goes with that…
Fucking GREAT
FEK LIVES
Smores? Don’t trust her. She’s hiding something.
OK, steak sub and fries down, time for more…frags?
Is Aaron Hernandez allowed to watch tonight or do they make him go to his shame corner to think about what he did.
Did you see the pregame? No patriots player has ever felt shame.
Is this a different DeAngelo Williams? This is a different DeAngelo Williams
It’s The Steeler Way! (TM)
Find a way to get to the quarterback when unblocked (fixed that)
Howdy all you KSK refugees!
The Steelers coaches headsets aren’t working right? In Foxboro?
Shocking!
Anyone else having trouble logging in on to wordpress? Can’t log in from a desktop
Hello there you erotic creatures. Had a bitch of a time logging in but here to livebrog like its 2011.
That’s also not a horse-collar anywhere on the field Cris, you fucking idiot.
Steeler headsets not working properly?
I’ve never heard of THAT happening at Foxboro before.
Holy fuck, does the NFL even give a shit that the Patriots cheat so blatantly?
Usually it’s the other way. I think the Dirty Tricks Team are protesting over how the Pats through the Deflator and Dorito Dink under the bus.
Well, it was more an equipment mistake. They gave the wrong headsets to the wrong teams.
Seems like, just with the balls, headset frequencies and such should be handled and supervised by the league. And, if your headsets aren’t working cant you make the other team not use theirs for the duration? Youd probably get fired for being a pussy if trying to enforce that rule.
We’ve been jammed….http://static.fjcdn.com/comments/We+ve+been+jammed+_6007bb6d6db4c8c46cf9be7fad3eb1a9.jpg
Speaking of slowly and gingerly, any sightings of the commissioner Michelle?
I wonder how they describe Andy Dalton as he walks off injured.
Elderly Steelers running back ‘The Old Train’
IF THEY MENTION MACLOM BUTLER”S SUPERBOWL PLAY ONE MORE TIME, I WILL SWITCH TO HARD LIQUOR.
You havent already?
I was waiting till the half.
“Hello, hard liquor!”
-Stabby Pants, ten minutes from now
Antonio Brown doing things.
Antonio Brown might have pulled a “Gimme dat” from NFL Street.
How is that not pass interference?
After all these years you really asking that question?
Go fuck yourslef Malcolm.
The fact that brady could legitimately die in a horrible way and I wouldn’t feel remorely sorry for him is a testament to how much I hate nfl coverage
That fact that he’s my starting QB in ff and could die in a horrible way and I wouldn’t be remotely upset is a testament to how much I hate NFL coverage.
And also what a horrible person I am of course.
Strangely competent DeAngelo Williams
So that graph means The Pats suck at drafting.
Belichickian post-SB vomitus.
I think we’re breaking the server.
Yep.
Yeah, that’s what it feels like.
Heroes: Remember how good season one was? Well, this is kind of a season one, of sorts.
How the hell is everyone doin?
‘Belichek loves left footed punters almost as much as he loves his players mothers.’
New England intros… I can’t watch even though it is the first game of the year and I miss football.
http://33.media.tumblr.com/1c62746a58d71302e8942981e5dc5fda/tumblr_nuhc64tcIK1rj4j4jo1_500.gif
NSFWish
That’s a lot of gritty crackers.
is it safe to post yet?
“he’d beaten Gay down the sideline….”
Even when the Patriots aren’t doing anything wrong it sounds like a hate crime.
If that offensive lineup got any whiter, it’d be a hate crime.
Are the Steelers gonna have their corners actually, you know, cover?
White Guy, White Guy Position, White Guy School
I hate the Patriots more than I hate anything in the universe right now.
I’d trade a crippled Brady and a no-playoffs season (no 0-16 because I don’t want them with the #1 pick) for a goddamned President Trump.
Fuck the human race anyway.
1. War
2. Hunger
3. Possibility of living under President Trump
4. Patriots
Every time some asshole compares Brady to Montana I ask myself how would he do if he got to stand in the shotgun and have Rice, Taylor, Brent Jones & co get free fucking releases all game?
Has there ever been as coddled by the league as the Pats? It’s a genuine question, I am not as well versed in the history of the league.
Personal foul, damn it… ON the Patriots? Holy shit!