Your Thursday Nighter Open Thread

Man, I love the fact that there is football on Thursday nights. It’s not as though I expect a good game or anything like that. (Giants/Washington next week folks!) Let me back up a bit-Mondays I tend to drag my ass at work a bit but I get through it knowing that I’ve got a game later that evening. Tuesday is meh. Wednesday at noon I can say to myself, “I’m half-way through the damn week”. Thursday is a busy, pulled-in-many- directions day but I know that my beloved is not far away. And Friday is Friday. What I’m trying to say is that work has become a grind, a god-awful “What am I here for, What are my goals and why are they important?” purpose-emptying, shoulder-sagging, sigh of resignation grind. You youngerlings have this to look forward to-Yay!

Den at KC: It’s The Battle of the Noodly Appendages! You want shovel passes? You got ’em! Do you want quick outs, slants, checkdowns and bubble screens? It’s all here folks. You can’t get that on the the History Channel. Wait there’s more-after all that you may get a long(ish) looping parabolic toss that drops into the mitts of the receiver or the guy that’s defending him. Peyton strikes me as fragile-I wonder if he gets through the season. He doesn’t even have the mobility to sidestep pass rushers any more. His last six games  he’s tossed 4 TD’s and had 7 intercepts. Head to head I think I’d take Smith-at least the guy can bail out of the pocket and run for yardage. Andy Reid’s Chiefs are favoured by 3 wetnaps and they sure as hell are going to get a WR TD tonight because. Just…because. CJ’s toe is banged up and Ronnie Lott suggested he just cut it off and, “get the hell back in there, pansy”. All-Pro safety TJ Ward is back after a one game suspension for, I don’t know, taking an extra butter tart at the last player’s union meeting? He gets to cover Kelce. Defence And Ball Control For Everyone, Excitement For None!

 

 

 

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Sill Bimmons

Why can’t anyone play quarterback?

Seriously.

Redshirt

These Refs are going to have to have Tommy John Surgery with all the flags being thrown tonight.

Senor Weaselo

Eh, everyone these days gets TJ, it seems.

makeitsnowondem

Got to inflate the air mattress some more. I swear Tom Brady has been fucking with it.

MikeWallaceAndGromit

THIS GAME I CALL IT A UNITED NATIONS SUMMIT BECAUSE THERE ARE MORE FLAGS THAN YOU CAN COUNT AND IT’S KINDA BORING AS SHIT.

packman_jon

If you’re GEICO, you run ads that make you want to murder a baby. It’s what you do

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

My dad lied and came back tonight. I am just thinking get drunker. Like the plan when he was gonna stay in Chicago

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Got my dog downstairs before he got angry. Happy about that

MikeWallaceAndGromit

So he really was just going out for cigarettes?

MikeWallaceAndGromit

Wait that doesn’t make sense. I fucked that joke up.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

He just hates the dog. Not personally but hates the idea of him

BrettFavresColonoscopy

On a scale of 1-orgasm, how much does Jim prefer broadcasting golf to football?

MikeWallaceAndGromit

That rates a “Sex Sent me to the ER”

packman_jon

Frank Zombo is still alive?

Old School Zero

It takes a lot to kill a Zombo.

Redshirt

My friends thinks that Norm MacDonald is a bad Col. Sanders and it should have stayed with Darrell Hammond.

So I’m reexamining my life-long friendships with them…

entropy

Your friends are terrible people with stupid, stupid opinions.

packman_jon

This 49ers ad is definitely an ad because no one dies

JustStopDude

Special Teams going all out fucking up the simplest things.

comment image

entropy

And another fucking flag on a special teams play! These assholes all deserve beatings. Fucking hell, even the Browns can complete a punt without a penalty! They do it like 30 times a game! Get your shit together!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Tonight’s game is brought to you by the color yellow.

Bill Parcells would like a word.

Senor Weaselo

Flag, I think someone made a swear, 15 yard penalty and they have to sing the I’m Very Sorry Song.

MikeWallaceAndGromit

+q.7

Sill Bimmons

PHUCK YEEEEEW PHEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLL

Brick Meathook

I truly wonder about the conversations between Manning, Kubiak, and Elway. These guys have egos, folks, and they have contracts also. Elway lost 3 Super Bowls before he won 2; Manning won 1 and lost 1; Kubiak was a career backup who probably has full mental & physical health. Who tells who what to do? Think about it…

Old School Zero

Nothing but incomplete passes from now until a FG at the end of the game… 4th quarter will be 3 hours long.

entropy

Anyone else just hear that needle-scratch-on-a-record noise from the broadcast?

jjfozz

Whew, I thought I was having another stroke

Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

Thank you! I thought I was having a stroke.

Old School Zero

“I thought I was having some pudding!” — Trent Green

blordinaryfagicmox

I almost had a stroke from those coincidental comments

entropy

Thank Christ. All I need is more auditory hallucinations… Bad enough every hot woman I see seems to say, “of COURSE I want you,” I don’t need random noises from my football broadcast now.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Tee Martin would have made that throw.

Senor Weaselo

Deep ball overthrow, DRINK.

OsamaBenJarvus
entropy

Pey-pey nearing 15 whole points in the Insanity league!

Doktor Zymm

I’ve gotten my share of $10 million before, I once got a check for $0.27 from a class action law suit.

Senor Weaselo

What’d you get with that sweet, sweet lawsuit money?

Doktor Zymm

1/270th of a beer!

Senor Weaselo

What kind of beer did you get that’s $72.90, and how tasty was it?

Sill Bimmons

one dollar AND NINE CENTS

Doktor Zymm

Baller! You be diving in the class action money, scrooge mcduck style.

Sill Bimmons

The Jerk Opti-Grab settlement figures.

theeWeeBabySeamus

The Jerk reference…I am duly impressed, good sir.

Sill Bimmons
Badger

That’s a pretty badass looking crew.

Redshirt

If this picture is an accurate depiction of this throwing skills, I can see why Kubiak only had 5 starts.

http://www.sikids.com/sites/default/files/multimedia/photo_gallery/1009/nfl.backkup.qbs/images/gary-kubiak-05253120.jpg

theeWeeBabySeamus

Still one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ueOyFydWX7s

Senor Weaselo

Remember when SNL wasn’t garbage? Good times.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I don’t think I’ve even turned it on in 3-5 years.

Redshirt

I did once last year. (shudders)

packman_jon

STRONG TAEK INCOMING
SNL was and will always will be mostly terrible with a few exceptions.

blordinaryfagicmox

It’s like high school: we get a year older but the jokes stay the same.

WCS

WHY’S THE DOOR OPEN?! CLOSE THE DOOR!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Does anyone benefit from cuts to show the owners’ boxes? I say neigh.

Doktor Zymm

I want to make a music video where all the dance moves are ref hand motions.

jjfozz

Holy shit, I want to help write the script and storyboard

Off hte top of my head, at the break, we need to have that guy saying, “He’s down there, giving him the business”

MikeWallaceAndGromit

False Start would get some serious work.

Doktor Zymm

Conga line sequence.

litre_cola

It really could be a day in Ed Hociuli’s life with a referee dance throughout.

That’s good watching

Doktor Zymm

All walking off means is that you aren’t paralyzed and no bones are poking out of the skin. You can walk on pretty much anything with enough will and adrenaline.

Brick Meathook

I ALWAYS purchase adrenaline when offered. I don’t have the will.

entropy

All the will and adrenaline in the world will not let you walk on lava.

WhyEaglesWhy

That reminds me of watching a show about the Chargers/Dolphins OT playoff game in 1981 (still the best game I’ve ever seen). Bob Keuchenberg talked about how Kellen Winslow was a pussy for having people help him off the field in that game. BITTTTTEERRRR.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Alex Smith found the spin move button on his controller!

Stabby Pants

I don’t think Andy Reid is the guy to just throw a random challenge flag.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Michael Irvin thinks this game, like PTA meetings and lunches, needs more hookers and blow.

King Hippo

In fairness, he has a point.

Sill Bimmons

JUST THROW IT TO KELCE

King Hippo

“I don’t wanna go to Kelce”

MikeWallaceAndGromit

“Did not make a very good effort” ? Fuck you Nantz.

Doktor Zymm

Hey baby, I’ll squeeze your footballs. *gets hired as a ref*

jjfozz

KC’s colors are red and yellow
McDonald’s colors are red and yellow
Andy Reid’s blood type is double cheeseburger

IT ALL FITS!

entropy

Andy Reid’s blood type is teriyaki.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

All the Mazda’s in the world won’t get you a soul, Ginger.

Brick Meathook

Eli laughs at Peyton’s quarterbacking stupidity.

King Hippo

The only good decision I made in fantasy was taking McManus on both teams.

entropy

But what about Fenster?

Old School Zero

He’ll flip ya. Flip ya for real.

entropy

That’s the one about the hooker,Mitch uh, dysentery?

entropy

Where’d the fucking Edit button go now?!

Old School Zero

It hides to the right of the timestamp

Sill Bimmons

Oh yay it’s a tie woo

Doktor Zymm

It’s sad, that ball can’t find anyone that completes it. Maybe it should try internet dating.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

52 yard field goal would be a gimme in denver, right?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Pey Pey sez: Jen Sterger is ALMOST the perfect height…
http://extras.mnginteractive.com/live/media/site36/2012/0409/20120409__broncos-peyton-manning~p1.jpg

Alternate caption: Hey, Jen Sterger, when I get a chubby it reaches up to here.

JustStopDude

You are allowed to make one act or change as NFL Commish for a day. You have complete and utter power.

What do you do?

I would open up all the books and show how much these teams are making.

Doktor Zymm

Am I allowed to kill Dan Snyder, or just force him to sell for $10?

King Hippo

killing is much better, make sure to do it slowly. you have ALL DAY

Redshirt

Pull and Iron Man and drop him on an Indian Reserve

“He’s all yours!”

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Move the Jags to LA, tell the rest of those fuckers to stay put, redo revenue sharing to create dedicated revenue streams for former players’ health care and current players’ financial literacy courses, release all remaining evidence of patriots cheating, and excommunicate the McCaskeys

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I don’t follow directions well.

Redshirt

“BREAKING NEWS: Interim Commissioner Redshirt has banned Bill Belichick and Tom Brady for life from the NFL for Conduct Detrimental to the League.”

blordinaryfagicmox

Grant Wichita an expansion franchise; to hell with even numbers!

Redshirt

The Broncos Colquitt get paid $1.6 million to punt the ball and the Chiefs Colquitt get paid $2.9 million to punt the ball.

I think we all picked the wrong career field.

entropy

That seemed like a football tackle of reasonable force, therefore, deserving a flag in tonight’s officiating shit show.

King Hippo

Louisville and Clemson are fucking shit, by the way.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yep, ‘Ville gonna be nice and pissed off in a couple weeks.
Yay

Sill Bimmons

gah

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Great, here comes 30 yards of offense and a Donks FG.

Stabby Pants

Resasonable octane, well rationed offense.

Senor Weaselo

This was a perfectly cromulent expectation.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Tuned in late. Looks like the Broncs might have at least managed an offensive touchdown or two tonight, eh? But c’mon man, it’s the Chefs.

http://gif.mocksession.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/MANNING-FREAK.gif

As a ratbird fan, I’m still totally not bitter about last week’s loss. 😉

King Hippo

2nd scoring drive started at KC 15 (another Talib INT)

theeWeeBabySeamus

LMFAO

JustStopDude

You still got to cheer!

http://i.imgur.com/sPn51gh.gif

synapticmisfires

Nowhere near Charles. How is that not grounding?

Old School Zero

Way out of the pocket

Senor Weaselo

Didn’t get to the line either.

King Hippo

But didn’t get near the LOS either

MikeWallaceAndGromit

Still looked well between the tackles.

Senor Weaselo

We demand our Eon of the Safety!

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