Tonight is the 45th anniversary of the first ever Monday Nighter! We’re gonna be treated to so many wonderful memories-mamember the time that Cosell called Alvin Garrett “a little monkey” and then denied it? How about the time that the self-absorbed Joe Theismann decided that everyone should see his tibia? My best csb memory of MNF involved me and my fellow staff guys trying to close the dining room that I bar-tended early so that we could get over to a bar called Tramps (run by all my exes) and spend all of our combined tip money on pitchers of beer. (“Yes I realize it’s only 7:30 sir but we’re just about to close.”) I didn’t say this but one time I saw Dexter Manley trying to find his coke dealer at that same place. Remember that one year that he played for the Ottawa Rough Riders? Neither does he.
Jets @ Colts: So it comes down to this-Pagano’s thousand yard stare vs. whatever Bowles does that we should be making fun of. What do Tanzania and the Jets have in common? They’re both short of ivory. I had Ivory getting injured by wk. 4 but he up and done it after the first. Brown-noser! So now it’s Ridley or Powell, Powell or Ridley. So much to choose from! Moncrief gets not-Revis so he should do okay. Right? Right! Colts were ambushed by the Bills last week and the Jets lost to Cleveland. Hold up. They beat Cleveland? This is why we can’t have nice things. Play according to form, Jets team! One Jets blog I came across was yakking about Geno maybe coming back early from the punctured ear drum he suffered while listening to some chin music. Congrats Jets desperation, you have successfully disguised yourself as hope.
You know it’s a good game when even Chucky is paying attention to the real thing instead of the Madden 16 simulation he usually comments on each week.
Andrew Luck is still trying to figure out how they’re able to play football inside at nighttime.
Wait’ll he gets a load of these new talkies.
Bacon: fried or broiled?
If the dodge Brothers walked into a showroom today, they’d probably say ‘BRAAAAINNNSSSS’.
Fitzmagic runs 30 yards for a net loss of 2. CAN FEEL IT?!
Bjoern Werner <<<< Trent Richardson
These two teams are trying really hard to get attention from their stepdad.
Vinatieri is America’s step-dad
FIELD GOALS ARE TOO EASY, LET’S MOVE BACK THE EXTRA POINT TOO!
I really hope the new Muppets doesn’t blow.
Missed FG
http://36.media.tumblr.com/7d7303c56047984f5d1b160014c0c238/tumblr_nlgu1q6rFj1shapsuo1_500.jpg
I miss Attack of the Show
This is the best football game.
It’s no Eagles/Cowboys, or Giants/Cowboys, or Vikings/49ers… fuck this has been one sad-sack shitshow of a season thus far, ain’t it?
Don’t forget my Chicago Pickles
Doink!
The Jets liked that kick.
http://25.media.tumblr.com/e6ecc8d75ae1ba25ac84cf927eb44007/tumblr_mic4dw46OG1s5bh5uo1_500.gif
WHY COULDN’T YOU DO THAT IN ONE OF THOSE SUPER BOWLS
Colts bonk the field goal…just taking it all in…
http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_le6ahl8CxU1qaoq6yo1_500.gif
Andrew Luck’s favorite PlayStation game is Grand Theft Horse and Buggy.
Didn’t Andre Johnson torch the Colts once or twice? I’m sure he was already a household name.
Have they mentioned that one of these quarterbacks went to Harvard and the other went to Stanford yet?
Spider 2 Y Banana, drink all the alcohol (that wasn’t sold for personal consumption) in your house.
I don’t know if it’s a good idea to throw to the offensive lineman when he’s covered.
FUCKING TACKLE ELIGIBLE SPIDER 2 Y BANANA HOLY FUCKING FUCK
SPIDER 2Y BANANA SIGHTING
Just got back, my dad was yelling about how he almost got forced to spend $500 bucks on his meds that make him uncontrollably mad and one other one. He had a card that his doctor gave him because he was uninsured that made it $39. So net win on his $400 doctor visit. He also got 3 $150 inhalers free because they were doctor samples
But ignoring that, is there a chance the Colts will lose this thing?
Dallas Clark woulda got that.
Wow, Shamrock Shakes must be Popeye’s spinach for The Colts!
Shamrock Shakes are what Pat Summerall used to get on St. Patrick’s Day.
Jets have limited supplies of competence. They may have used up their allotment for the year.
VMB be killing it in GSR league. Chris might be changing his team name.
And to think I sucked a seriously huge one week 1
WHY DID YOU RUIN THE FANTASY WITH THE KID GAAAHHHHHHH
Let’s pretend she was the babysitter, although since they’re steeler fans, that’s probably her granddaughter.
Poker night at Bob Vance’s house seem lame.
What Fitzmagic has up his sleeve is definitely not arm muscles.
Perhaps it’s a diploma! From Harvard! Where he went!
Maybe this is the year the Jags take the division?
Where scoop meets whoop is not where I’m going to be. We need a pregane show that is buffoon free.
Jets up 7-0…my reaction…
http://www.fairfaxunderground.com/forum/file.php?40,file=88591,filename=methgirl1.gif
The worst thing about having an Amish quarterback is you can’t use gadget plays.
+10
godDAMMIT
So I have Luck starting as my fantasy qb versus the Jets D, which is also on my fantasy team
Right now I’m having a fantasy about me and a cheerleader in a tub of warm cheese.
I suck at fantasy.
Ah yes, Monistat Dream #1. Been there.
New York hasn’t seen a Jet this accurate since 9/11.
http://ak-hdl.buzzfed.com/static/2013-12/enhanced/webdr07/4/7/anigif_enhanced-buzz-24418-1386158833-5.gif
Ooh, too soon?
http://www.maniacworld.com/Obi-Wan-Kenobi-and-the-World-Trade-Center.jpg
Geez, John that’s just wrong.
hoo boy
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Lt4bgksHZ-g/UMMZG2qffyI/AAAAAAAADyE/3W_wRPdUdkg/s1600/pastor-jet.gif
This game might be good.
What was The Tentacle Porn Incident?
I had no idea it had even happened until earlier today and reading the edited thread wasn’t very illuminating.
It’s best not to ask, but the takeaway is that tentacle porn is bad and certain people should feel bad for posting it.
It wasn’t me, was it?
Nope
5th and goal is the Jets best down.
Deckerdown!
Upper – Decker?
huzzah.
Is there an opthamologist in the house? Because the thing is, if I close my eyes there this glowing blue image in the lower right that says GALF.
I’m a neuro-ophthalmologist! YOURE DYING BRO
Hey fuckers, what’s up?
NAWT TEH RATBIRDS TEE FUCKING HEE
/
I mean, how’s it going bro?
I think every ref should be required to wear a Jerome Boger voice modifier on their mic. It would just make everything better.
If my life was exciting enough to be a motion picture (it’s not), I would have him narrate. He is my Morgan Freeman.
Jets backs need to train harder.
http://41.media.tumblr.com/8b62e54a61661b507d3f927bc9f1516a/tumblr_nv1z1lLJvh1uq3x5lo1_1280.jpg
Jets keep the drive alive!
http://33.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_li7wm0C0wS1qhlohjo1_500.gif
This game is amazing