[peeks out from under the covers] Has it started yet? No? Who said I was scared? I’m not scared. Maybe it’s YOU that’s scared. [sighs]
Wash @ NYG: The Giants should be 2-0. Let’s get that out of the way right now. Howevah, The Catastrophic Meltdowns really like the vibe that this team is giving off. As far as Washington is concerned, if this Matt Jones kid is the real thing and Morris keeps going they’ve got a running game that may take them to the NFC East title. Not that that will be a great accomplishment this year. Ain’t sour grapes grand? Cousins’ play is up and down and he doesn’t have D-Jax but the Giants don’t have Rogers-Cromartie so that should be a wash. Beason is ready to give it a go tonight-maybe he’ll make it through the whole game. You just never know, maybe the Giants finally get their *Coughlin* shit *Coughlin* together. We could be looking at another snooze-fest but, “It’s Still Real To Me, Damnit!” What can I say, the scotch is poured. (into an Oktoberfest-sized stein)
God this game is a shit shower
Has any defense scored on a 2-point conversion turnover yet? And if not, can we start a pool on which QB will be the first to throw a Pick-Two?
I got Flacco
Jay Cutler meows his acceptance to your challenge.
That was one awkward-looking attempt at a catch.
Men. I just got back from a business trip to industrial west Houston. That place makes my home (Dallas) look like Singapore. What. A. Shithole. Third-World cities like DC have better traffic
I love how there is zero fucks given for zoning, education, and quality of life. I once offered to do a job in India rather than a o e in Houston.
Milk, it does a body good
Donnell, you’re killing me Smalls.
What’s the difference between Donnell and an offensive lineman?
Sometimes an offensive lineman surprises you by catching a pass.
18-6, coming right up.
Freaky.
This baseball game is getting out of hand
http://38.media.tumblr.com/574e08bc7d245a201023de8872bd1d59/tumblr_nsq53ghjvt1u81ir6o2_250.gif
http://i.imgur.com/n8saJTs.png
We need this guy back.
Yeah, there’s a void there. Someone needs to step up and start stealing our jokes to use on their twitter account.
Right? I don’t feel appreciated until I see my jokes in someone else’s hands.
Did I miss this whole ordeal?
Yeah, this guy kept trying to promote his Twitter and blog on KSK and OSZ slapped him in the mouth one day. His user name was @PellicanPierre Twitter.
The Fat Islamic?
It’s like the Giants are saying, “Hey, look at us, we’re not sucking!”.
BEHOLD OUR BASICALLY COMPETENT PLAY!!!
ANSWER THE GODDAMN PHONE!
I thought class was over.
Probably an alarm to remind Eli to take his Flintstones gummies.
I always wonder how a black guy gets the last name of “Blackmon”. Is there a Caucasian out there named Ryan Whiteboy?
Plenty of Caucasians named just “White.”
And “Black,” for that matter.
I just realized there has got to be a Ryan Whiteboy living somewhere in Boston right now
Southie.
Throw it to Beckham! Prey on the weak!
SWEEP THE LEG
2 fun Jim Nantz facts:
He pays 960,000 per year in alimony
He cheated on his wife with a woman born the same year he got married
960,000 what?
Whimwams.
Oh, ’cause Thai virgins ain’t cheap.
Hah! Joke’s on you, there’s nothing fun about Jim Nantz!
Douchebaggery costs, but it apparently pays much better.
/the more you know gif
I dated a girl in college nine years younger than me my senior year. We were bpth seniors and I had done 6 years in the military prior to college.
It was still weird at times….explaining references and shit. I cannot imagine dating someone that fucking younger than me.
My girlfriend is 11 years younger than me. I would have said the same thing, but we actually get along okay. It helps that I’m immature. She basically only makes fun of me for liking hair metal.
hes a hardworking SCARPPY hardwoker not leik that other guy if u no wat i meen smdh
Ha! Boss just texted me “u r joking yes?”
I honestly feel bad for the dude. 12 months ago, we had 35 US based field engineers working for him globally. There are nine of us left. For the life of me I cannot umderstand what our upper management is doing.
I believe their usual excuse for that sort of thing is “protecting the investors.”
That’s why they’re upper management, someone put them there so they could do less damage.
26 of 35? Maybe it really is time to look inward, eh?
And Jeebus, I can only imagine how creeped out I would be to get a text from my boss that started “u r”
He is German. His English is terrible. Its actually easier to understand his text speak than his actual speak.
Usually when I ask this once a year, you usually respond, “my three incompletions,” so, here we go, Phil: who has a better shot at quarterbacking success, your grown sons or the kids that didn’t make it to term?
http://41.media.tumblr.com/523f0dbd070e16d64b353f9bf145bc78/tumblr_n92oqohsXK1rrphlpo1_1280.jpg
I quit paying attention, and Most Glorious Baseball Cardinals are now AHEAD 7-3.
Knew that WCS and Sill would be happy to hear that. NOW BEAT THOSE GODDAMNED SMALL BEARS ALREADY.
http://38.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lpwkbyx6O71qcvn4vo1_500.gif
WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I went to the game last night, and it was GLORIOUS. Will people leave DFO if they find out I’m a Cardinals fan? I DON’T CARE GO CARDS!
I knew, and I didn’t leave.
And I fucking despise the Cardinals.
So, there you go.
That is true. I feel less hateable.
boo
http://38.media.tumblr.com/895ae27673bbf86c5dc06c3720e56704/tumblr_nu9jkza0mM1sl5skpo4_250.gif
This…has been something that happened.
Lets see if this works. For some reason i got to use chrome on moble. My lazy ass doesn’t want to sit ina chair anymore. Couchtime!
I just took a leak and got a reminder that I made asparagus as part of dinner tonight.
No YOU share too much.
Pink plate!
Look kids, the money generated by that pink plate won’t go to help breast cancer victims.
I watched the entire first half in a blur because I can’t be arsed to get up and find my glasses. Taking lazy to new levels for myself.
A blur? Lucky bastard.
You did yourself a favor.
I was going to comment about how exciting this game is, but then I realized that it had put me to sleep and I was dreaming about a different game.
Think I’m gonna go run over some hookers instead of sitting here watching this.
Then maybe get in some GTA V later.
As I get older I have noticed that my new thing is to give the finger to solitary objects: the television, my cell phone, a chair that bumped into really hard.
What the fuck?
I gave the finger to a gate I knocked over today. Am I an old too???? GAH
And who said you can’t teach an old dog new tricks?
I do this to yellow lights that I run.
I give it to show peace between worlds.
“Giants broke the curse”, they’re only up by 9 at the half.
There’s still a fourth quarter to be played.
Did Dok’s Lebanese kill her, or why has she forsaken us?
THIS IS YOUR FOOTY SIDE’S SPOTLIGHT DANCE ,, SMGDH
SUICIDE BY KOFTE
So, has there been one commercial break yet without at least one fantasy commercial?
Don’t talk shit on FanDriftFuckDuel, the NFL will revoke your fan status and make you watch curling regional qualifiers during the playoffs.
Joke’s on them. I like curling. Go, Rachel Homan!
I…. I don’t even have a response for that.
At this rate, maps of the country will read, “Fan Duel Presents: The United States of America, sponsored by Draft Kings” by 2017.
The civil war will be devastating, but at least only virtual.
I dunno who I is even supposed to support, as a Son of the South ,, smgdh
“LIVE, from the President Trump Casino at Camp David!”
Pepsi Presents: New Zanzibar
I don’t know what’s worse, all the commercials or the fact that every goddamn sports talking head is pushing one or the other. Even fucking Ufford is shilling for them.
Would anyone else start watching NCIS if they got rid of eve one but Mark Harmon and the brunette, and the new agents were Dave & Chainsaw from Summer School?
Throw in Courtney Thorne-Smith and you’ve got a deal.
Fuck yes, Francis.
Bring back Alotta Fagina and you’ve got a stew going!
You know, it takes a lot to make a stew….
http://i.imgur.com/v7ftf79.gif
yes
That settles it. I am obviously meant to be a Network Television Executive. Where are my complimentary hookers and blow?
I would watch if they chainsawed Mark Harmon into little pieces.
Holy shit I’m watching Thursday night football?
You get Thursday Night Football on Sunday night this week too!
Good clock management. LOFTY clock management.
So…
…………………………………..
Not sure if Morse code, or Shonn Greene’s empty locker…
Both…
Yup.
Kettle One Lemon vodka served in a flagon?
You bet your sweet ass.
Eli really likes leaving his receivers hanging out to dry. Thats twice this drive that ODB has been led to a beating.
ODB stole his juice box, so Eli is getting him back the only way he knows how.
Hey, that’s what he gets for swindling Eli on that dessert trade.
That’s nothing compared to what Matt Ryan tried to do to Julio Jones on Sunday.
“Get on my level, cunts.”
-Eli Manning
Back from getting dinner. Did I miss anything good?
Believe it or not, there was a touchdown in this 15-6 game.
I left at 9-0 because “Well, this game’s over, and Five Guys closes in an hour.” It’s still over, right?
Extremely.
Bring me some five guys.
I’m back already. You want my refilled drink? The one by me doesn’t have shakes, the bastards.
http://funcorner.eu/wp-content/uploads/five-guys-one-cup.jpg
What do you think?
that beer was good but now the room is tilting
woops
No pass rush against the Gints is a really bad sign.
Who the hell does J.J. Watt think he is? Rocky Balboa? Everyone knows he’s the NFL equivalent of Drago.
I think he’s locked on Beckham, slurs.
Originally they were going to hire former Jacksonville punter Chris Hanson for that ad, but…you know.
Are NFL players contractually obligated to wear their uniform in commercials, or is that an artistic choice?
JJ Watt doesn’t ever take off his uniform. #riseandgrind #blessed
I interviewed Rashad Jennings cousin for a job a couple of weeks ago. Due to the fact that he kept mentioning that he was Rashad Jennings cousin he’s still fucking unemployed.
JJ Watt. Lumberdick.
So how dull does that stadium have to be for Jim Fucking Nantz to complain about the lack of energy?
If anything Eli is known for his clock management
Giants fans can’t show a lot of energy. Doctor’s orders.
http://31.media.tumblr.com/3d95f707fbba0e07f0adb31809d976f9/tumblr_nhy4zi7qYP1skg82io2_500.gif
THIS GUY KIRK COUSINS, I CALL HIM MY BALLS IN HIGH SCHOOL BECAUSE HE CANT SCORE AND IS JUST HANGING AROUND WAITING TO BE PUNCHED
JV NFL is a damned good game. Way better than this dickpunch.