Your Thursday Nighter Open Thread

Min @ Ari: Everything points to this game going the Cards way, doesn’t it? Some fantasy advice I came across on one site stated, “START ALL THE CARDINALS YOU CAN!”. If this was a game of Clue As Foreign Films I’d say, “Arizona/Brando in the empty apartment with a stick of butter”. Maria Schneider, uh, the Vikes look very vulnerable right now. QB Bridgewater can’t throw a TD without an accompanying intercept later on. This year his ratio is 8/8-career-wise he’s 20/20 (ironing?). His counterpart is sporting a “hey national media, come take a look-see” 29/9. Football Outsiders’ take on Teddy cuts right through the lutefisk though-The offensive line is so bad that teams don’t need to rush more than three or four defenders to get quick pressure on the quarterback. I’m sure it’ll get better though. Whoops. That’s a no. The Vikes bread and butter defenders Barr, Joseph and Smith are all out. It’s all on you AP.

0 0 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
787 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
JustStopDude

comment image?w=484&h=368

Recovery Whiskey

Zimmer rates .7 Shanahans

blaxabbath

Wait – the team who lost to the 49ers isn’t considered elite?

Sill Bimmons

No Flacco.

blaxabbath

Far too much teasing of KLEEEERGH, Gene!

Recovery Whiskey

A surprising close score really

King Hippo

You show a stunning lack of faith in my imaginary gambling picks ,, smgdh

blaxabbath

“This score couldn’t be much closer!”

-PK

blaxabbath

Zimmer looks like he’s wearing Manning’s QB jacket.

Great body, coach.

Bridgewater strikes me with a very Chad Pennington vibe.

Sill Bimmons

Whoa, whoa!

Let’s not say things we can’t take back!

At least TB isn’t made of papier-mâché!

King Hippo

You have compared a white QB and a black QB across eras. You are disqualified from professional footy analysis, forever.

litre_cola

Phils hair is developing a personality of its own.

Sill Bimmons

It’s trying to escape its body.

blaxabbath

The nice thing about Bridgewater is, if you need to conserve time, you can count on him to chuck it into the ground.

Sill Bimmons

And if things get really bad, you can use him to ford a river!

King Hippo

Can Bridgewater even get it to the end zone from the 20?

blaxabbath

This game would be more entertaining with JFF playing for either team.

King Hippo

WHY NOT BOTH?

blaxabbath

JFF as all time QB!

King Hippo

hey man, if he called it, he called it

Recovery Whiskey

Demolished

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

103 year old embalmed clown, Achile Chatouilleu, displayed at the California Institute of Abnormalarts.

http://41.media.tumblr.com/cb9c055822525661fcfc27e8c3b57c4f/tumblr_nyeiz27Isa1tepew7o2_1280.jpg

jjfozz

Christ a’mighty, thanks for the fucking nightmare fuel

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

YOR-FLEERGH HAS AWAKENED FROM HIS SLUMBER!

Sill Bimmons

CTHULHU-EERGH STIRS IN HIS SUBTERRANEAN PRISON

entropy

NYARLFLAGTHEP WHISPERS IN THE HEARTS OF MEN, BRINGING DREAMS OF COLORS BEYOND RED AND YELLOW.

JustStopDude

WELCOME TO COSTCO I LOVE YOU.

jjfozz

Oh damn! What could I possibly get Fozz this Xmas?

Hint: http://angelsenvy.com/

litre_cola

Bridgewater can float.

Redshirt

Oh sure, they can bring a fence into the stadium but they stop me when I bring a Bengal tiger to the gate. I bought a ticket for it.

Recovery Whiskey

I would think this would start a curse

Redshirt

Really? Then I need to be bring a 10 foot long Steel beam to Pittsburgh and a Minute Man brigade to Boston.

WCS

Why, yes, The U fans are just as horrid and despicable as you’d think:
http://espn.go.com/espn/story/_/id/14328380/the-miami-hurricanes-fans-flew-banners-got-al-golden-fired

blaxabbath

I like passionate fans.

Recovery Whiskey

Nothing personal but … Fuck Jersey

King Hippo

Like Carlin says:

Kiss her where it smells, take her to New Jersey!

Sill Bimmons

Wow.

This is supposed to be a safe space against Jerseyitis.

Have you ever even been here?

Jagoff.

comment image

Sill Bimmons

I still can’t believe that Netflix made that film.

If I didn’t love Netflix more than I love anyone but immediate family I’d cancel my subscription.

entropy

So the guy playing Keanu in the Pointless Break remake is just a low-rent Hemsworth cousin, right? They couldn’t afford either of the actual Hemsworths, so they just called around for anyone who looks vaguely like them?

blaxabbath

So is Adam Sandler going straight to Netflix the same as going straight to DVD?

Sill Bimmons

Way, way, WAY WORSE

King Hippo

Isn’t Adam Sandler dead yet? Why doesn;t he take up cocaine? Maybe it would at least make him interesting.

jjfozz

Personally, I loved the Herm Edwards rant. Imagine being one of his kids – toilet training would take on a whole new level of intensity

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

SHITTERS SHIT IN THE TOILET!!

jjfozz

EVEN WHEN THE SHITTERS FULL!

IT’S NOT ABOUT YOU, IT’S ABOUT THE SHIT!

blaxabbath

Bridgewater really understands the quarterback position!

::Gets surprised by two minute warning whistle::

blaxabbath

His strong hands are great for gripping a stick to beat his child with.

Sill Bimmons

Kid in one hand, switch in the other.

EVERYBODY WINS except the kid

King Hippo

ppl forget that

/well, at least NFL announcers conveniently seem to forget that

So fast so violent,

Setting us up for one are we Phil.

jjfozz

Google, how much time in jail do I get for running asshole bicyclists off the road?

Sill Bimmons

DEPENDS ON WHETHER OR NOT THEY DIE

entropy

And how much evidence of their assholery you can present to the court.

Redshirt

Depends on if you get caught.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Hopefully long enough for your fucking asshole to get HUGE.

Recovery Whiskey

In Seattle? You’d get life and they’d shoot your dog

blaxabbath

You suck, Bethel! Don’t let it touchback!

I wonder when we will have our first fop coach.

King Hippo

Has anyone heard back from Pie since her date? Did she remember to get OSZ to do his serial killer clearance check?

blaxabbath

What kind of Pie?

jjfozz

I believe it was Hair Pie (I laugh every time I hear that phrase)

jjfozz

What the fruck is a frush?

Sill Bimmons

Two sevens beats a frush.

entropy

She’s still circling the downtown, looking for her date.

Sill Bimmons

comment image:large

entropy

That was a very nice 20 yard run for a gain of one yard.

Recovery Whiskey

Minny better shut this down or they’re about done

blaxabbath

Kerwynn Williams not getting any love?

I’m getting on the waiting list for the post-game Cardinal Talk because this is bullshit.

Sill Bimmons

THATS WHAT A WINNER WOULD DO

litre_cola

You aren’t a 1st time long time kinda guy. THEY KNOW YOU!

entropy

This is the only time I have watched either of these teams all season. I feel like I haven’t missed much.

litre_cola

Arizona has been mighty impressive this year. Secondary and receivers have been great.

entropy

I look at their record, and assume they must be worth watching, I’m just not seeing it right now.

Sill Bimmons

So if you do it wrong, your woman hates you.

If you do it right, you both come simultaneously.

SHOOTING FOR THE ID, EH TIVO???

jjfozz

Just don’t get any on the remote

ThursdaySkyGoddess

WTF was that Tivo ad?

blaxabbath

It’s like…..is that one of those stock trading companies?

jjfozz

Both my sons looked up at that one

Recovery Whiskey

Too hot for prime time

Redshirt

Some writer apparently has issued “false starting”.

litre_cola

I mith Mayock.

WCS

Meeth too.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Anythhhans bettther thhhan phhhSimphsss

jjfozz

The Land Rover rescue the lady dog sledder commercial – could they pack more whiteness into 30 seconds?

WCS

I see your Range Rover and raise you any Zales commercial.

blaxabbath

They’re eating cabbage.

Recovery Whiskey

You say it like its a bad thing

entropy

Michael Bolton could be playing in the background.

jjfozz

THAT DRIVE, I CALL IT THE BATTLE OF BULL RUN, BECAUSE MINNESOTA DROVE THE ENTIRE FIELD, ONLY TO SCREW UP IN THE END

nomonkeyfun

As long as you don’t talk shit about Minnesota at Gettysburg. Highest casualties of any regiment in the war for one battle. Well over 50%

King Hippo

They sure seem dedicated to throwing the ball to NAWT Diggs.

There’s a reason why those shitdicks are always wide open.

entropy

Finally decided to go turn on the game; fired up the iPad, opened Safari, no comments show up for any item on DFO. Apple is doing their best to ensure I stop using their products, it seems.

(Chrome for the iPad is working fine, by the way)

blaxabbath

Perhaps you need to post from your iPhone

entropy

Could be.

Recovery Whiskey

My apple product phone works so so.

Redshirt

Is this a good Thursday game or is the power of Thursday compelling the teams to derp?

His Right Honorable Lord Lordship the Lordly

I think it has been fairly well played, not one-sided so far.

Sill Bimmons

It’s coming up on Christmastime, so there are ghosts about.

I am The Ghost Of Mullets Past.

CONFESS YOU SHORT/LONGHAIRED FUCKS

Recovery Whiskey

In the 1990s I had hair out to my elbows. Chixors lurved it

Redshirt

I didn’t grow a mullet but I did grow my hair out when I was in college. Only my hair didn’t want to go below my collar line. I had at least six inches of hair curled up and down my neck. I thought eventually the weight would cause the hair to fall. Nope, it just kept curling.

entropy

I have the exact same problem whenever my hair reaches my collar! Weirdest fuckin thing; it just curls and curls and will grow no longer.

blaxabbath

He only took 4 steps, pretty sure that fumble is gonna be ruled an incomplete.

Touchdown Seahawks.

And that happened

blaxabbath

Is it just me or are these announcers REALLY trying to sell me that Bridgewater is a good quarterback.

jjfozz

Sell you a black man? DAS RACIST!

nomonkeyfun

They’ve been trying to do it since he was in college.

Sill Bimmons

NARRATIVE

jjfozz

Little Drummer Boy – not just the worst Christmas carol, the worst song EVER FUCKING RECORDED

Sill Bimmons

Fucking “Jumped Up Kicks” by Foster The People would like all the words…

litre_cola

Jared Fogle disagrees.

ThursdaySkyGoddess

Sorry, that dishonor goes to “Christmas Shoes.” Whoever the fuck wrote that song should have their hands burned off with acid.

Sill Bimmons
Lothar of the Hill People

Paul McCartney’s “Simply Having a Wonderful Christmas Time” would like to disagree.

Sill Bimmons

This is also Nuremburg-worthy.

Beerguyrob

It’s a hate crime, really.