Well, somehow we made it. I’m so glad that we didn’t have to turn the car around due to bad behavior. Does everyone know which teams are playing? That’s what I thought. Between that and Hippo’s excellent breakdown of the game I’ve nothing to say about that end of things but I would like to share with you some “behind the scenes” tidbits about this very site that I think you might be interested in. I’m not going to name names…just yet.
Way back in 2007 the founder of this site, a grizzled, PTSD-wracked veteran of 3 tours of the second invasion of Iraq (anyone that has a beef with this version of events can take it up with me in the boardroom tomorrow morning) decided that there should be a new-ish football site. With a ton of moxy and just one good arm he created “Abandon Hope All Ye Football Fans That Enter”. That site was a disaster. I mean, it was right there in the title. Who the hell would want to join? Years later, after his extended recuperation at the St. Tunison Sanitarium For The Hopeless he decided to give it one more go.
It was a super-tough haul, putting this site together with nothing more than used scotch tape and pigeon feathers but he got the damn thing to work. But would Door Flies Open fly? A number of lawyers flocked to the site but it was immediately apparent that as a result, the site lacked “any sense of a moral compass”, according to internet pundits. At that point the site was opened up to almost everyone. Normal people came to the site in the dozens-including yours truly.
What followed was a ton of hard work. Night after night, huddled together in a dumpster underneath a single street lamp, we batted around the questions. “How can we take this site to the next level?” and “Is no one going to throw some pizza crusts in here?-I’m hungry!” and “Could you please not urinate on my pizza crust?”. We learned a lot about each other. Who knew that someone could be triggered by two exclamation marks but not one or three? And the hygiene, OH, THE PERSONAL HYGIENE!
So here we are now. We’ve morphed into a mid-major behemoth of a football-specific website that is bound to knock off a #2 or #3 ranked site as soon as we’re allowed back into the tourney. “Ongoing Pattern of Irregular Prescriptions”, my ass. The Internet is clearly out to get “The Little Site That Could”. We’ll survive and thrive…and maybe, just maybe, I can finally get that $12 Toys R Us coupon I was promised at the outset…
FUMBRE
Denver gon’ challenge this shit
Looking forward to the first season of The Bad Wife..starring my wife.
That’s well done!
So what are you going to stab yourself in the eye with during the halftime show? I’m thinking I’m gonna go classic, with a standard fork.
Grapefruit spoon
Belt sander.
Corkscrew.
Snapped-in-half Coldplay CD.
opioids vs. cannibanoids…who ya’ got?
DELTA 9 WOO
Yes.
I am an equal opportunity chemical enthusiast.
Hard liquor
Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?
He worked it out with pencil and paper
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
What in the actual fuck?
REALLY? POOP ADS DURING THE SUPER BOWL?! GODDAMNT, FUCK YOUR NON-SHITTING BOWELS!
These are the worst people alive.
Everytime they say “Norwood” I get a Super Bowl PTSD flashback.
My viewing habits for the rest of the game may be spotty at best.
The cute girl my daughter brought over is a smoker and we were just out on the balcony discussing porn.
I like the direction this is going.
Godspeed, good sir.
But what are her thoughts about anal?
We have discussed anal.
Dear Penthouse Forums,
I always thought your letters were fake, but….
JERRY, JERRY, JERRY
Fuck football and fuck us. Get on it, YR.
Statutory Checklist?
Put it in the end zone!
American Beauty
Remember, the SB halftime is extra long. Plenty of time to fuck, even when one is trying to impress someone new.
You go, you glorious bastard. You go.
Who called teh field goal?
Bleergh’s presence is strong today.
Hold me closer, offensive lineman.
doki doki lineman senpai?
Vasquez….you fuckwit.
to be fair, he doesn’t hold…CJ probably no make it. Shoulda thrown on 3rd down then kicked. Not gonna run successfully when the Panthers are looking for it. Not with THIS OL.
Now the FG we always fucking knew was coming.
Super Bowl Derp
hold
My opinion….go for that shit.
This does NOT bode well for Denver…
Jared Allen is still active in the NFL!
John Elway is chomping on the bit right now…literally.
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
The Immortal Mullet.
Oh ffs
Riverboat Gary!
“Peyton, I know you want to throw it, but a whole yard?”
The fix is in
I go away for 30 seconds and this shit happens…
Go stand in Horatio’s locker. Now.
DERRRRRRP
jfc
NSFW Lena Headey for the long return
h
ttp://i.imgur.com/lsRh5cO.gif
Nice
What the shit?
GREAT return. DON;T EVER FUCKING DO THAT AGAIN!!!
goddamn glorious idiot
This is what happens when people are paranoid about Bleergh
His invisible thumb on the Cosmic Scale
He could go all the….
Nevermind.
FG range achieved.
So what you’re saying is Santa Clara is rejecting the turf. The body knows when it’s diseased.
Wow, Jordan Norwood. Wow wow wow.
What the hell just happened?
THE FUCK!?
Did they think he wasn’t running?
Holy shit, how did he get out of that traffic?
WHAT THE FUCK
really needed that stop
Clever call. The Ol “Throw it to Ted Ginn and watch him fuck up” Play
It’s not worked for them so far!!
TURF TURF TURF!
TURF FOR MVP
Purely for the sake of conversation…what effect do you think a Dallas / New England Super Bowl would have on the space-time continuum?
The End of Days.
Dunno. But you should probably buy a lot of bleach and cheap booze stock.
Well…the Seahawks-Greatriots game did not cause the Smug Douche Singularity that most physicists were predicting, so likely nothing. Likely.
Goodell would just take his ball and go home once the Patriots looked like they were going to win.
I want this to be a better game than it has been so far.
Too many commercials. This game is dragging
They penalized that girl for not completing the catch.
The over under was 40.5. Who took the under
I took the push.
Was that stupid?