Well, somehow we made it. I’m so glad that we didn’t have to turn the car around due to bad behavior. Does everyone know which teams are playing? That’s what I thought. Between that and Hippo’s excellent breakdown of the game I’ve nothing to say about that end of things but I would like to share with you some “behind the scenes” tidbits about this very site that I think you might be interested in. I’m not going to name names…just yet.
Way back in 2007 the founder of this site, a grizzled, PTSD-wracked veteran of 3 tours of the second invasion of Iraq (anyone that has a beef with this version of events can take it up with me in the boardroom tomorrow morning) decided that there should be a new-ish football site. With a ton of moxy and just one good arm he created “Abandon Hope All Ye Football Fans That Enter”. That site was a disaster. I mean, it was right there in the title. Who the hell would want to join? Years later, after his extended recuperation at the St. Tunison Sanitarium For The Hopeless he decided to give it one more go.
It was a super-tough haul, putting this site together with nothing more than used scotch tape and pigeon feathers but he got the damn thing to work. But would Door Flies Open fly? A number of lawyers flocked to the site but it was immediately apparent that as a result, the site lacked “any sense of a moral compass”, according to internet pundits. At that point the site was opened up to almost everyone. Normal people came to the site in the dozens-including yours truly.
What followed was a ton of hard work. Night after night, huddled together in a dumpster underneath a single street lamp, we batted around the questions. “How can we take this site to the next level?” and “Is no one going to throw some pizza crusts in here?-I’m hungry!” and “Could you please not urinate on my pizza crust?”. We learned a lot about each other. Who knew that someone could be triggered by two exclamation marks but not one or three? And the hygiene, OH, THE PERSONAL HYGIENE!
So here we are now. We’ve morphed into a mid-major behemoth of a football-specific website that is bound to knock off a #2 or #3 ranked site as soon as we’re allowed back into the tourney. “Ongoing Pattern of Irregular Prescriptions”, my ass. The Internet is clearly out to get “The Little Site That Could”. We’ll survive and thrive…and maybe, just maybe, I can finally get that $12 Toys R Us coupon I was promised at the outset…
“Fuck you all this is the last song of the evening”
I love Kurt Cobain
Nirvana – Where did you sleep last night? (MTV Unplugged)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gOZKz_sPM6U
More Johnny Cash. Solitary Man
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-OVHnWyDmdw
Already have this one on repeat, probably will stay like that for at least a couple more times. Love this track.
I give up.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SEuOoMprDqg
Thank you for the assist of my shitty embed skillz. 😀
Johnny Cash – Hurt
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vt1Pwfnh5pc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kyAn3fSs8_A
Seriously, how I can embed, and you can’t?!
I should never be trusted. Like I should have listened to YYZed and instead went to Tom Sawyer
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=auLBLk4ibAk
Dogfish Head Immort Ale to close out the evening. What is dead may never die.
Just how improbable is it that Leicester City is still in first place this deep into the EPL season? Can they really seal the deal? Would be awesome if they did.
I’m off to bed, kids. See ya tomorrow!
Night balls.
Congrats on the drunk stamina to stay up this long. Night sir
Nighto
http://www.rushisaband.com/images/201203/2222.f.jpg
Oh hell yes. Now we’re talking.
I can totally shred this on Guitar Hero.
OK, let’s test this whole permissions/embed youtube theory…
http://i.imgur.com/Ugt5tL4.gif
DAMMIT
DAMMIT PT DEUX.
I BEEN HAD!!!!!!
Fine…here’s the link…blah, blah, blah…big deal.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hnpILIIo9ek
I like a “The Smiths” song? None of you tell anyone… I was just extremely drunk and none of the first 2 sentences are true
So, I’ve had success using the embed youtube link AFTER a hard return.
Might be worth a try I guess
Exactly. Go to youtube select video, hit the “share” button, then the “embed” button and copy and paste the link.
Vie-ola!
That’s what she said!
No? No.
Yeah, that’s what I’m using when it comes up blank.
I think a logout…reboot…log back in is worth a try.
I’ll be back.
But for seriously, hard return, then paste the embed link.
http://blogs-images.forbes.com/artcarden/files/2011/07/300px-Gnomes_plan.png
For those interested…upon my logout, cache clear, reboot, log back in, and hard return…followed by paste of embed code of course…I repeatedly get wordpress telling me duplicate comment, I’ve already said that before.
Curiouser and curiouser.
Oh, and that’s multiple tries with multiple diff vids/embed codes. Same thing repeatedly.
Look! Here’s one now.
Remember to use the embed version of the link with the html code in it.
Good night all. Off to see a late showing of “Hail Caesar”.
We expect a full review and/or a drunken recommendation.
Put it up on Bring Back Matt!
I will try.
So, I’m currently shopping around for a boat purchase (this really is true), but I’d be willing to pay a premium for this sort of bow decoration.
/insert “her stern” joke here
http://www.thehulltruth.com/attachments/boating-outdoor-photos/162431d1300451083-post-hot-chics-boats-42zxxk3bcr81zn3kstluq5mgogamesfree_ca_blonde_boat_sexy2.jpg
Hahahah…insert.
I’m even funnier than I thought.
At least to myself.
http://i1046.photobucket.com/albums/b469/dryedmangoezsunny/six/sunny603-01.jpg
What kind of boat?
Just a small to medium outboard probably.
Probably used. Appropriate size and power for a medium sized lake, big enough to pull a skier.
Don’t need to make it to Cuba or anything.
Size and style wise, something like this. I’m not too worried about it being new if it’s been maintained.
http://www.blanchardmarine.ch/upload/0.01975300%201331730256.jpg
Most boats I know about are salt water boats. I still regret not buying a buddy’s sailboat when I had the chance. Came with a dock slip too…
When I was a kid we had a sailboat on the Chesapeake. Sadly, the lake in question isn’t really adaptable to sailboats bcuz of all the douchebags with their phallus enhancing motorized versions.
You could supplement your income with an occasional trip to Cuba or two.
That’s a hell of a maidenhood.
Hehehe… maiden hood.
I’m going to hell.
This made me laugh nearly maniacally.
I am going to hate every narrative that comes out of this on either a.) Peyton, or b.) Cam, because the story of this game was that amazing Denver defense. I doubt we’ll see a defense that scary for a while (unless they stay intact for a few years… and in that case, DOOM! DOOM! DOOM!)
The have like 5 free agents on defense and salary cap issues, no way they keep it together
DOOOOOMED!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vkPVDI751Ys
I’ll say it a thousand times: Von is to Cam what Darkseid is to Superman.
https://youtu.be/v0pcChyV6o4?t=17s
Does this mean in a few years Cam gives a “World of Cardboard” performance?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=etPYl1OQoqk
Hopefully.
/Rest in Peace, Dwayne McDuffie.
I’m getting all prescient for 2016 but watch that “D” Coach Zimmer is building in Minnesota.
They got some bad boys up there.
A solid defense like this one we saw tonight is always fluid. Lots of moving parts.
Lots of chemistry.
Hard as hell to duplicate.
I appreciate people posting pics of hot women, I hate that many of them put a filter on them for no reason
http://media.tumblr.com/71a54da6a6a363d154bda299bae90a2b/tumblr_inline_mqj4cbiOFA1qz4rgp.gif
One of my favorite 80’s bands ever and a fucking joy to see perform live.
They are excellent.
Von Miller’s Pro Football Focus Grade: over/under +10???
Absolutely over. He looked like he was manhandling his blocker on every single play. I’m going to say ~12.
Wow, solid commenting tonight. I was mainly awol tonight (damn you, human interaction), but I wanted to share my heartfelt gratitude to DTZM and the rest of the original co-conspirators who gave us a home away from home after the implosion at you-know-where. It has been an honor to dickjoke with you all at our new home.
:slaps on the ass all around:
http://www.joblo.com/images_arrownews/Nicky-Whelan-057.jpg
My lovely wife has to fly into Denver tomorrow for work. She’s happy the airport will be full of happy people.
Not that I’ve been to a bajillion airports, but it’s a pretty nice one.
We need strong drink and music.
Gentlemen!
Given your night, your initial song choice is….
Interesting.
Anna Silk and Rachel Skarsten from that show I talked about earlier with the plot almost exclusively about the hot girl hooking up with everyone. I would enjoy NSFW pics but it is on a normal TV channel
http://24.media.tumblr.com/db11af3b34f20aab568f9503c00eb3cd/tumblr_mjxy6ctZ3L1s8qwjio1_500.gif
http://textagirlguru.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/nicky-whelan-13.jpg
It’s been a great year for John Elway. His team won the Super Bowl, and his kid won the Triple Crown.
We got the banner quote right here, folks.
Yeah, not much is gonna top that.
So… what the hell do we do with our lives now?
ANOTHER BEER
Always the answer.
AFL! Hockey! Beer! Puzzles! Sunday Gravy!
Spelling Bee! Children’s tears!
And girlie pics?
AFL preseason is about to start, isn’t? Should be fun getting back into that.
I really enjoy college basketball too, so there’s that.
Anybody else into Formula One?
We got Euro 2016 and the Rio Olympics this summer too. We’ll be ok.
Team handball!
How do you liveblog zika?
Off-topic question: Should I stay with the new name or switch back to “mudisleblues”?
OK, how damn drunk am I???
I know I’ve seen this before. Right?
REVERT
otherwise our drunk asses are gonna be totally lost
Yeah…I kinda agree with that.
I mean, there’s something to be said for brand recognition.
-Peyton Manning
What did I say before? Let’s go with that. Although I do like DBMW.
I like the current one better.
Then again, I am a father. So that’s often a rote answer.
Sorry folks, I posted this earlier, but I couldn’t find it until just now.
http://cdn.marketplaceimages.windowsphone.com/v8/images/319a148b-e969-40e6-94b5-d190bdad822b?imageType=ws_icon_large
Got a hug, kiss, phone number and a promise to return for the annual house gathering on St. Patrick’s Day.
I can live with that.
Oh, hey, speak of the devil, and what a devil he is, you devil you!
NICELY DONE SIR
Dog will hunt.
Topped my day.
Hell, topped my year.
Hell, topped my almost decade.
You da man.
she got a friend? I mean one that’n ain’t your daughter?
Or even….
She’s probably in her mid 30’s. Friend of my daughter and son-in-law. She loves the drink and is a feisty one with the conversation, blonde, fit.
And she’s got huge….
Tracts of land!
A nice dowry is always preferable.
Lots of land to plow.
Nice. I sense a serious gourmet meal being planned as we speak.
Have you ever made steak Diane?
It’s challenging as fuck but when done properly?
Panties will drop.
Great hustle!
I popped out for a bit. Anyone hear from Yeah Right or has he managed to get face-deep in his new young friend?
We’re rooting for the latter.
I’m assuming if we haven’t heard from him that things are going splendidly indeed.
Also, you know you’ve done your job as a parent when you get your children to wingman for you.
yeah right for Dad of the Decade.
?quality=100&strip=info
I’m SO happy we made you an author…
Hahahahah.
I was able to post cheap thrill pics even before that.
You undersold.
😉
Later guys.
Nighto
Von Miller killing it on Colbert.
You sure it’s not Ray Lewis?
Ray Lewis was never here, and he has no idea how you ended up with clothes he was wearing earlier covered in the blood of him and some random murder victim he never met.
We’re still gonna liveblog the spelling bee, right?
Oh fuck yeah we are. Nothing like the tears of children to sustain our thirst for competition.
FUCK YEAH!
Another thing we’ve been robbed of by those fuckwits.
CURSE YOU #UPFORANYTHING
Never mind that, can we liveblog the Westminster Dog show?
We can liveblog whatever we want!
Announcer #1: Those are some glorious nuts there, Clive.
Announcer #2: Truly spectacular, Godfrey. The nuts of a champion.
Announcer #1: Regal nuts indeed on this gifted, gifted Spaniel.
Ah…now who is this bitch?
YOU’RE GODDAMN RIGHT
That was a bad presser for Cam. Cam is in for a long offseason.
Cam Newton just ragequit the Post Game Interview.
PK is gonna hit the next level in his column tomorrow. Fuuuuuuuuuuck.
Margot Robbie can get it.
So could Tina Fey.
Helen Mirren is a silver fox that i wish to hunt.
YES! After her commercial I was like, yeah.
I’m going to see Suicide Squad just to get more of this:
Is King Hippo alive?
Probably.
But also probably in an opiate stupor and covered in his own splooge.
Hearty congratulations to the Broncos and their fans. Well done.
Hey, if it gets Diane Kruger on the big screen, I’m all for National Treasure 3.
I’d rather they just put “the Bridge” back on the air.
Is DFO gonna diversify its blog posts?
You know it!
BTW, AFL preseason starts in 10 days!
Geelong!!!!
WOOOO!!!! I’m a member too! I’ll reveal more in this Sunday’s AFL Beat.
Been a while since I followed religiously. But back in my youth when ESPN first started airing the AFL in the US, I picked the Cats bcuz I thought “Geelong” sounded both dirty and awesome and funny.
Wait, that’s three things. I might be drunk.
Sweet! Now there’s two of us! Others have picked sides. Hippo picked Carlton. I guess he paid his dues in order to get this Bronco championship…
hehehehe
I’m the exact same way. Used to love the AFL on ESPN and also gravitated towards Geelong.
My cousin by marriage is Geelong.
He’s a good guy, i have no problem with the Cats.
SWANNIES
/still pissed at you for pointing out that they use the Notre Dame tune for their fight song
I am SO sorry about that. I honestly wish I didn’t make that connection.
JUST JOSHIN YA BRO HAVE THIS ON ME AHAHAHAHA
http://files.the-group.net/library/stockspirits/zips/dw_519.jpg
You got to diversify yo Blog
There will be proper Six Nations coverage this year.
/apart from today’s 16 — 16 draw between Ireland and Wales
Von Miller is pretty damn awesome, i hope he gets his Chicken Farm.
I think this Puppy Bowl shit ain’t on the level. This Ruff teams looks like they been ‘roiding.
In the Puppy League, I think PED’s means it’s time to be put down …no?
Spoke too soon. CTV logged back in and fucked up the transfer to Colbert, a show they don’t broadcast. I got the first minute of Legends of Tomorrow.
If Boomer Esiason could have thrown a football like that at the first Super Bowl he went to, he would be wearing a Super Bowl ring.
And theres the Facebook post from the religious aunt who doesn’t watch football, but likes peyton manning because he’s a christian.
That bitch couldn’t remember what position I played in high school if you held a gun to her head, but hey tony dungy!!
Missionary?
Did you tell her about Cam saying a prayer before each game?
You expect an aunt who doesn’t watch football to know your position?
Wow, anti-climactic but definitely football, and daylight made the halftime show seem like a dress rehearsal. It’s been a great season…here at DFO, that is. I’ll miss you guys in the off-season, but I’ll see you when pitchers and catchers report. Wait…I mean in like 2 hours.
50 golden dick jokes for Peyton and the Broncos! Hold the jokes! And the gold!
Hey, it’s nice to see Colbert “live” again.
So who’s ready for Hockey live blogs every night!?!?!
Hello…..anyone here?
I am on board, you will learn to hate me because I am a Hawks fan though
I’m on board. Covalent Blonde might kill people on here, though. You’ve been warned.
Go Sens Go (and by that I really only mean Go Karlsson Go because the team around him is dogshit.)!!
Good, cause i’m going to need all the support i can get when The Caps finally make it past the 2nd round of the playoffs, only to choke in game seven of the Conference Championship.
You’re not going to find that support from me.
I don’t know why that was a reply to your comment. I is sorry.
Caps pain is my joy.
Who do you root for?
Not the Rangers i hope.
He’s a Penguins fan.
Among other things to blog, I’m game.
I’m in, I can’t be bothered with early season, but playoff hockey is fucking awesome.
I am absolutely in. My disdain towards Dallas fans is only rivaled by my disgust towards Pens fans.
what the fucking shit is puppymonkeybaby
Um, by my count the Puppy Monkey Baby is two awesome things combined at most.
I’m gonna go with 1.5, unless you have a shit fetish.