Your “Finally!” And “It’s All Over After This?!” Super Bowl Open Thread

Well, somehow we made it. I’m so glad that we didn’t have to turn the car around due to bad behavior. Does everyone know which teams are playing? That’s what I thought. Between that and Hippo’s excellent breakdown of the game I’ve nothing to say about that end of things but I would like to share with you some “behind the scenes” tidbits about this very site that I think you might be interested in. I’m not going to name names…just yet.

Way back in 2007 the founder of this site, a grizzled, PTSD-wracked veteran of 3 tours of the second invasion of Iraq (anyone that has a beef with this version of events can take it up with me in the boardroom tomorrow morning) decided that there should be a new-ish football site. With a ton of moxy and just one good arm he created “Abandon Hope All Ye Football Fans That Enter”. That site was a disaster. I mean, it was right there in the title. Who the hell would want to join? Years later, after his extended recuperation at the St. Tunison Sanitarium For The Hopeless he decided to give it one more go.

It was a super-tough haul, putting this site together with nothing more than used scotch tape and pigeon feathers but he got the damn thing to work. But would Door Flies Open fly? A number of lawyers flocked to the site but it was immediately apparent that as a result, the site lacked “any sense of a moral compass”, according to internet pundits. At that point the site was opened up to almost everyone. Normal people came to the site in the dozens-including yours truly.

What followed was a ton of hard work. Night after night, huddled together in a dumpster underneath a single street lamp, we batted around the questions. “How can we take this site to the next level?” and “Is no one going to throw some pizza crusts in here?-I’m hungry!” and “Could you please not urinate on my pizza crust?”. We learned a lot about each other. Who knew that someone could be triggered by two exclamation marks but not one or three? And the hygiene, OH, THE PERSONAL HYGIENE!

So here we are now. We’ve morphed into a mid-major behemoth of a football-specific website that is bound to knock off a #2 or #3 ranked site as soon as we’re allowed back into the tourney. “Ongoing Pattern of Irregular Prescriptions”, my ass. The Internet is clearly out to get “The Little Site That Could”. We’ll survive and thrive…and maybe, just maybe, I can finally get that $12 Toys R Us coupon I was promised at the outset…

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

“Fuck you all this is the last song of the evening”

I love Kurt Cobain

Nirvana – Where did you sleep last night? (MTV Unplugged)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gOZKz_sPM6U

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

More Johnny Cash. Solitary Man

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-OVHnWyDmdw

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Already have this one on repeat, probably will stay like that for at least a couple more times. Love this track.

WCS

theeWeeBabySeamus
theeWeeBabySeamus

comment image

theeWeeBabySeamus
WCS

theeWeeBabySeamus

Thank you for the assist of my shitty embed skillz. 😀

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
WCS

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
WCS

Seriously, how I can embed, and you can’t?!

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I should never be trusted. Like I should have listened to YYZed and instead went to Tom Sawyer

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=auLBLk4ibAk

WCS

makeitsnowondem

Dogfish Head Immort Ale to close out the evening. What is dead may never die.

Croooow

Just how improbable is it that Leicester City is still in first place this deep into the EPL season? Can they really seal the deal? Would be awesome if they did.

ballsofsteelandfury

I’m off to bed, kids. See ya tomorrow!

Senor Weaselo

Night balls.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Congrats on the drunk stamina to stay up this long. Night sir

theeWeeBabySeamus

Nighto

BrettFavresColonoscopy

theeWeeBabySeamus

Oh hell yes. Now we’re talking.

laserguru

I can totally shred this on Guitar Hero.

theeWeeBabySeamus

OK, let’s test this whole permissions/embed youtube theory…

bourb0nblues
theeWeeBabySeamus

DAMMIT

theeWeeBabySeamus
theeWeeBabySeamus

DAMMIT PT DEUX.
I BEEN HAD!!!!!!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Fine…here’s the link…blah, blah, blah…big deal.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hnpILIIo9ek

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I like a “The Smiths” song? None of you tell anyone… I was just extremely drunk and none of the first 2 sentences are true

BrettFavresColonoscopy

So, I’ve had success using the embed youtube link AFTER a hard return.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Might be worth a try I guess

laserguru

Exactly. Go to youtube select video, hit the “share” button, then the “embed” button and copy and paste the link.
Vie-ola!

ballsofsteelandfury

That’s what she said!

No? No.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yeah, that’s what I’m using when it comes up blank.
I think a logout…reboot…log back in is worth a try.
I’ll be back.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

But for seriously, hard return, then paste the embed link.

http://blogs-images.forbes.com/artcarden/files/2011/07/300px-Gnomes_plan.png

theeWeeBabySeamus

For those interested…upon my logout, cache clear, reboot, log back in, and hard return…followed by paste of embed code of course…I repeatedly get wordpress telling me duplicate comment, I’ve already said that before.

Curiouser and curiouser.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Oh, and that’s multiple tries with multiple diff vids/embed codes. Same thing repeatedly.

laserguru

Look! Here’s one now.

ballsofsteelandfury

Remember to use the embed version of the link with the html code in it.

Beerguyrob

Good night all. Off to see a late showing of “Hail Caesar”.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

We expect a full review and/or a drunken recommendation.

The Maestro

Put it up on Bring Back Matt!

Beerguyrob

I will try.

theeWeeBabySeamus

So, I’m currently shopping around for a boat purchase (this really is true), but I’d be willing to pay a premium for this sort of bow decoration.
/insert “her stern” joke here
http://www.thehulltruth.com/attachments/boating-outdoor-photos/162431d1300451083-post-hot-chics-boats-42zxxk3bcr81zn3kstluq5mgogamesfree_ca_blonde_boat_sexy2.jpg

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hahahah…insert.
I’m even funnier than I thought.
At least to myself.

ballsofsteelandfury

What kind of boat?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Just a small to medium outboard probably.
Probably used. Appropriate size and power for a medium sized lake, big enough to pull a skier.
Don’t need to make it to Cuba or anything.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Size and style wise, something like this. I’m not too worried about it being new if it’s been maintained.
http://www.blanchardmarine.ch/upload/0.01975300%201331730256.jpg

ballsofsteelandfury

Most boats I know about are salt water boats. I still regret not buying a buddy’s sailboat when I had the chance. Came with a dock slip too…

theeWeeBabySeamus

When I was a kid we had a sailboat on the Chesapeake. Sadly, the lake in question isn’t really adaptable to sailboats bcuz of all the douchebags with their phallus enhancing motorized versions.

laserguru

You could supplement your income with an occasional trip to Cuba or two.

theeWeeBabySeamus

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laserguru

That’s a hell of a maidenhood.

ballsofsteelandfury

Hehehe… maiden hood.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’m going to hell.
This made me laugh nearly maniacally.

Old School Zero

I am going to hate every narrative that comes out of this on either a.) Peyton, or b.) Cam, because the story of this game was that amazing Denver defense. I doubt we’ll see a defense that scary for a while (unless they stay intact for a few years… and in that case, DOOM! DOOM! DOOM!)

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

The have like 5 free agents on defense and salary cap issues, no way they keep it together

Senor Weaselo
WCS

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

I’ll say it a thousand times: Von is to Cam what Darkseid is to Superman.
https://youtu.be/v0pcChyV6o4?t=17s

Senor Weaselo

Does this mean in a few years Cam gives a “World of Cardboard” performance?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=etPYl1OQoqk

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

Hopefully.
/Rest in Peace, Dwayne McDuffie.

laserguru

I’m getting all prescient for 2016 but watch that “D” Coach Zimmer is building in Minnesota.
They got some bad boys up there.

A solid defense like this one we saw tonight is always fluid. Lots of moving parts.
Lots of chemistry.
Hard as hell to duplicate.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I appreciate people posting pics of hot women, I hate that many of them put a filter on them for no reason

http://media.tumblr.com/71a54da6a6a363d154bda299bae90a2b/tumblr_inline_mqj4cbiOFA1qz4rgp.gif

laserguru

One of my favorite 80’s bands ever and a fucking joy to see perform live.

theeWeeBabySeamus

They are excellent.

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

Von Miller’s Pro Football Focus Grade: over/under +10???

makeitsnowondem

Absolutely over. He looked like he was manhandling his blocker on every single play. I’m going to say ~12.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Wow, solid commenting tonight. I was mainly awol tonight (damn you, human interaction), but I wanted to share my heartfelt gratitude to DTZM and the rest of the original co-conspirators who gave us a home away from home after the implosion at you-know-where. It has been an honor to dickjoke with you all at our new home.

:slaps on the ass all around:

Beerguyrob

My lovely wife has to fly into Denver tomorrow for work. She’s happy the airport will be full of happy people.

Senor Weaselo

Not that I’ve been to a bajillion airports, but it’s a pretty nice one.

laserguru

We need strong drink and music.
Gentlemen!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Given your night, your initial song choice is….
Interesting.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Anna Silk and Rachel Skarsten from that show I talked about earlier with the plot almost exclusively about the hot girl hooking up with everyone. I would enjoy NSFW pics but it is on a normal TV channel

http://24.media.tumblr.com/db11af3b34f20aab568f9503c00eb3cd/tumblr_mjxy6ctZ3L1s8qwjio1_500.gif

Beerguyrob

It’s been a great year for John Elway. His team won the Super Bowl, and his kid won the Triple Crown.

The Maestro

We got the banner quote right here, folks.

Senor Weaselo

Yeah, not much is gonna top that.

Croooow

So… what the hell do we do with our lives now?

makeitsnowondem

ANOTHER BEER

Senor Weaselo

Always the answer.

ballsofsteelandfury

AFL! Hockey! Beer! Puzzles! Sunday Gravy!

The Maestro

Spelling Bee! Children’s tears!

theeWeeBabySeamus

And girlie pics?

Croooow

AFL preseason is about to start, isn’t? Should be fun getting back into that.
I really enjoy college basketball too, so there’s that.

Col. Duke LaCross

Anybody else into Formula One?

The Maestro

We got Euro 2016 and the Rio Olympics this summer too. We’ll be ok.

Senor Weaselo

Team handball!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

How do you liveblog zika?

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

Off-topic question: Should I stay with the new name or switch back to “mudisleblues”?

theeWeeBabySeamus

OK, how damn drunk am I???
I know I’ve seen this before. Right?

The Maestro

REVERT

otherwise our drunk asses are gonna be totally lost

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yeah…I kinda agree with that.
I mean, there’s something to be said for brand recognition.
-Peyton Manning

ballsofsteelandfury

What did I say before? Let’s go with that. Although I do like DBMW.

Don T

I like the current one better.
Then again, I am a father. So that’s often a rote answer.

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

Sorry folks, I posted this earlier, but I couldn’t find it until just now.
http://cdn.marketplaceimages.windowsphone.com/v8/images/319a148b-e969-40e6-94b5-d190bdad822b?imageType=ws_icon_large

laserguru

Got a hug, kiss, phone number and a promise to return for the annual house gathering on St. Patrick’s Day.

I can live with that.

Senor Weaselo

Oh, hey, speak of the devil, and what a devil he is, you devil you!

The Maestro

NICELY DONE SIR

laserguru

Dog will hunt.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Topped my day.
Hell, topped my year.
Hell, topped my almost decade.
You da man.
she got a friend? I mean one that’n ain’t your daughter?
Or even….

laserguru

She’s probably in her mid 30’s. Friend of my daughter and son-in-law. She loves the drink and is a feisty one with the conversation, blonde, fit.

And she’s got huge….
Tracts of land!

theeWeeBabySeamus

A nice dowry is always preferable.
Lots of land to plow.

JerBear50

Nice. I sense a serious gourmet meal being planned as we speak.

laserguru

Have you ever made steak Diane?
It’s challenging as fuck but when done properly?
Panties will drop.

Col. Duke LaCross

Great hustle!

JerBear50

I popped out for a bit. Anyone hear from Yeah Right or has he managed to get face-deep in his new young friend?

Senor Weaselo

We’re rooting for the latter.

The Maestro

I’m assuming if we haven’t heard from him that things are going splendidly indeed.

Also, you know you’ve done your job as a parent when you get your children to wingman for you.

yeah right for Dad of the Decade.

theeWeeBabySeamus

comment image?quality=100&strip=info

ballsofsteelandfury

I’m SO happy we made you an author…

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hahahahah.
I was able to post cheap thrill pics even before that.
You undersold.
😉

Spur

Later guys.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Nighto

Beerguyrob

Von Miller killing it on Colbert.

theeWeeBabySeamus

You sure it’s not Ray Lewis?

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Ray Lewis was never here, and he has no idea how you ended up with clothes he was wearing earlier covered in the blood of him and some random murder victim he never met.

Senor Weaselo

We’re still gonna liveblog the spelling bee, right?

The Maestro

Oh fuck yeah we are. Nothing like the tears of children to sustain our thirst for competition.

ballsofsteelandfury

FUCK YEAH!

Sill Bimmons

Another thing we’ve been robbed of by those fuckwits.

CURSE YOU #UPFORANYTHING

Beerguyrob

Never mind that, can we liveblog the Westminster Dog show?

Senor Weaselo

We can liveblog whatever we want!

Sill Bimmons

Announcer #1: Those are some glorious nuts there, Clive.

Announcer #2: Truly spectacular, Godfrey. The nuts of a champion.

Announcer #1: Regal nuts indeed on this gifted, gifted Spaniel.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Ah…now who is this bitch?

makeitsnowondem

YOU’RE GODDAMN RIGHT

Spur

That was a bad presser for Cam. Cam is in for a long offseason.

Redshirt

Cam Newton just ragequit the Post Game Interview.

The Maestro

PK is gonna hit the next level in his column tomorrow. Fuuuuuuuuuuck.

Spur

Margot Robbie can get it.

ssi_bulldawg

So could Tina Fey.

IronAvenger6491

Helen Mirren is a silver fox that i wish to hunt.

ssi_bulldawg

YES! After her commercial I was like, yeah.

Sill Bimmons

I’m going to see Suicide Squad just to get more of this:

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ssi_bulldawg

Is King Hippo alive?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Probably.
But also probably in an opiate stupor and covered in his own splooge.

bourb0nblues

Hearty congratulations to the Broncos and their fans. Well done.

Redshirt

Hey, if it gets Diane Kruger on the big screen, I’m all for National Treasure 3.

JerBear50

I’d rather they just put “the Bridge” back on the air.

Spur

Is DFO gonna diversify its blog posts?
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ballsofsteelandfury

You know it!

BTW, AFL preseason starts in 10 days!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Geelong!!!!

ballsofsteelandfury

WOOOO!!!! I’m a member too! I’ll reveal more in this Sunday’s AFL Beat.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Been a while since I followed religiously. But back in my youth when ESPN first started airing the AFL in the US, I picked the Cats bcuz I thought “Geelong” sounded both dirty and awesome and funny.

Wait, that’s three things. I might be drunk.

ballsofsteelandfury

Sweet! Now there’s two of us! Others have picked sides. Hippo picked Carlton. I guess he paid his dues in order to get this Bronco championship…

theeWeeBabySeamus

hehehehe

Col. Duke LaCross

I’m the exact same way. Used to love the AFL on ESPN and also gravitated towards Geelong.

Sill Bimmons

My cousin by marriage is Geelong.

He’s a good guy, i have no problem with the Cats.

Sill Bimmons

SWANNIES

/still pissed at you for pointing out that they use the Notre Dame tune for their fight song

ballsofsteelandfury

I am SO sorry about that. I honestly wish I didn’t make that connection.

Sill Bimmons

JUST JOSHIN YA BRO HAVE THIS ON ME AHAHAHAHA

http://files.the-group.net/library/stockspirits/zips/dw_519.jpg

ssi_bulldawg

You got to diversify yo Blog

Sill Bimmons

There will be proper Six Nations coverage this year.

/apart from today’s 16 — 16 draw between Ireland and Wales

IronAvenger6491

Von Miller is pretty damn awesome, i hope he gets his Chicken Farm.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I think this Puppy Bowl shit ain’t on the level. This Ruff teams looks like they been ‘roiding.
In the Puppy League, I think PED’s means it’s time to be put down …no?

Beerguyrob

Spoke too soon. CTV logged back in and fucked up the transfer to Colbert, a show they don’t broadcast. I got the first minute of Legends of Tomorrow.

Redshirt

If Boomer Esiason could have thrown a football like that at the first Super Bowl he went to, he would be wearing a Super Bowl ring.

Brocky

And theres the Facebook post from the religious aunt who doesn’t watch football, but likes peyton manning because he’s a christian.

That bitch couldn’t remember what position I played in high school if you held a gun to her head, but hey tony dungy!!

ballsofsteelandfury

Missionary?

Doktor Zymm

Did you tell her about Cam saying a prayer before each game?

JerBear50

You expect an aunt who doesn’t watch football to know your position?

Porky Prime

Wow, anti-climactic but definitely football, and daylight made the halftime show seem like a dress rehearsal. It’s been a great season…here at DFO, that is. I’ll miss you guys in the off-season, but I’ll see you when pitchers and catchers report. Wait…I mean in like 2 hours.

50 golden dick jokes for Peyton and the Broncos! Hold the jokes! And the gold!

Spur

Hey, it’s nice to see Colbert “live” again.

IronAvenger6491

So who’s ready for Hockey live blogs every night!?!?!

Hello…..anyone here?

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I am on board, you will learn to hate me because I am a Hawks fan though

ballsofsteelandfury

I’m on board. Covalent Blonde might kill people on here, though. You’ve been warned.

The Maestro

Go Sens Go (and by that I really only mean Go Karlsson Go because the team around him is dogshit.)!!

Sill Bimmons

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IronAvenger6491

Good, cause i’m going to need all the support i can get when The Caps finally make it past the 2nd round of the playoffs, only to choke in game seven of the Conference Championship.

Sill Bimmons

You’re not going to find that support from me.

IronAvenger6491

I don’t know why that was a reply to your comment. I is sorry.

Sill Bimmons

Caps pain is my joy.

IronAvenger6491

Who do you root for?

Not the Rangers i hope.

ballsofsteelandfury

He’s a Penguins fan.

Senor Weaselo

Among other things to blog, I’m game.

Doktor Zymm

I’m in, I can’t be bothered with early season, but playoff hockey is fucking awesome.

Gratliff

I am absolutely in. My disdain towards Dallas fans is only rivaled by my disgust towards Pens fans.

The Maestro

what the fucking shit is puppymonkeybaby

makeitsnowondem

Um, by my count the Puppy Monkey Baby is two awesome things combined at most.

Doktor Zymm

I’m gonna go with 1.5, unless you have a shit fetish.