Pick Is In – A [DFO] 2016 Draft Challenge LIVE Results Post

So we’ve made it to the first major event of the 2016 NFL season, the first round of the draft is tonight! As we are reminded that coaches, general managers, and meddling owners are the real stars of this league, we will also use this event to be introduced to the latest class of well-dressed athletes who, in as soon as four years even, may be budding stars preparing to be training camp hold outs insisting on new contracts, early retirees, or simply journeymen professionals chasing their athletic dreams.

Remember about a month ago when the draft universe was upside-down? The top two picks, Tennessee and Cleveland, presumably pleased with their quarterback situations (because nothing says “nah, we’re good at QB” like having a top draft pick), were expected to kick off the draft with unsexy upgrades to their non-existent lines. Boltman and Ol’ Double-J would then get some screen time before perpetual top-five picker Jacksonville would bring aboard someone with high upside who won’t make it to the preseason without getting an injury that will land him on the season-ending IR. Also, the P*triot’s didn’t have a first round pick because they had tampered with game balls and got caught. But that didn’t matter because, with Tom Brady for 16 weeks, this team didn’t need a first round pick to get off to a hot start.

Well, now our draft universe is upside-down for other reasons. The Los Angeles Rams of Raider Nation announced that their “philosophy has always been to build through the draft” before sending six of their first seven picks over the next two years to Tennessee in exchange for the right to pick first tonight. Who will they take? Well, RAMIT insiders haven’t decided yet. Not to be outdone — by LA or their previous regime — the Philadelphia Eagles gave up eight picks to earn the right to draft whoever gets rejected by the guys who assembled a 2015 QB depth chart of Nick Foles, Case Keenum, and Sean Mannion. Laremy Tunsil, the projected top pick before Tennessee traded down, is set to lose at least $1.5 million on his rookie contract as a result of these trades. Also, the P*triot’s still don’t have a first round pick because they had tampered with game balls and got caught. Also, they lost Tom Brady for the first four weeks of the season, including their Sunday Night Football home opener where Chris and Al will have to talk about Brady being out because he’s a cheater even though they don’t want to talk about Brady’s history of cheating.

Now, for everyone who submitted on Pick Is In, tonight is also judgement day for you. That’s right, click below to open the official [DFO] Draft Challenge Prediction Board, turn on the television, and get ready to weep.
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I sat on a jury years ago, 2nd degree attempted murder case. One day the defendant wore sneakers with his suit to court. It was that day I knew he was guilty.
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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

THIS GUY RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY I CALL HIM ROBERT MCNAMARA CAUSE THINGS ARE NOT GOING AT ALL ACCORDING TO HIS PLAN AND HE’LL HAVE TO RE-DO THIS DRAFT THING AGAIN NEXT YEAR.

Unsurprised

Just to leave more dead, and all for nothing.

Brocky

Man if Morris was two years younger I’d consider him a huge fantasy sleeper this year

SonOfSpam

C’mon Jerrah…you KNOW you want Paxton Lynch…just do it…

Spur

Jerry looking like Vito Corleone.

Unsurprised

He’s playing with a totally different orange pussy, though.

Horatio Cornblower

The Cowboys can take Ramsey or Elliott and I’ll be pretty happy, although I’m guessing it’ll be Ramsey. Grab a DE in the next round.

I wonder how much restraint Jerry Jones must use to not put on a military uniform on in his draft war room.

WCS

YYYEEEEHHHAAAAAWWWW!!! I’M FUCKIN’ IN CHARGE ‘ROUND HERE, YA HEAR?! JUST LIKE MY BOY FROM THAT NASSIE MOVIE, JACK RIPPER! THAT BOY KNEW HOW TO KILL RUSSKIES!

JustStopDude

Come on Double J…you know you want Johnny Football…

theeWeeBabySeamus

Fuck you Philip Rivers….we don’t give a shit if you take a beating foar the rest of your career. Which is not likely to last very long as things look currently.

Duchess

And with this Kiper has missed his first pick folks.

King Hippo

I had him missing at 5, damn it. And fuck it, the Pokes looked stunned, they WERE gonna take Bosa over Ramsey, everything was slotting like I thought.

Spur

Jalen Ramsey is a bigger and faster Honey badger.
Anyone else agree?

Beastmode Ate My Baby

So far these draft picks look like Chip Kelly fanfic.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Like the Browns, my draft predictions are straight fucked.

Spur

Holy shit those Chargers cheerleaders…

The Mighty Feklahr
blackroseMD1

Bosa? Bosa.

Think I’m gonna go whip up a hemlock cocktail.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Joey Bow reminds me of Lattimer from The Program

makeitsnowondem

BOSA DEEZ NUTS

SonOfSpam

“This kid knows how to come off the edge.”

Exactly why I’m not allowed on the Hoover Dam tour any more.

JustStopDude

Did the NFL network just show a Chargers themed S&M gimp?

The Mighty Feklahr

I figured it was Marty Schottenheimer.

Horatio Cornblower

So San Diego took a guy not suited to their defensive system who doesn’t fit any of their primary needs?

Seems about right.

The Mighty Feklahr

I almost guessed that. Totally makes me a genius.

WCS

HUH? WHAT?! FUCK YOU! I’LL BREED MY OWN OFFENSIVE LINE THEN, COCKMUNCHERS!

Spur

Ok, Double J needs to take Ramsey. Run that card up now!!!!!!!!

Did he fashion a tie out of a napkin?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hehehehehe….it’s great how the boos get louder with each successive Goodell trip.

Goddammit SD….you fucking idiots.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Tyme fo’ SD to fuck shit up fo’ evahbody.
You know…like usual.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

It’s what we do.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Do we have OSZ on suicide watch?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Why, did NSZ steal his beers again?

King Hippo

well, they sure fucked my prediction entry, up the ass sans lube

theeWeeBabySeamus

Ditto

Horatio Cornblower

Wentz chasing Bradford out of Philly seems about right, since Wentz looks just like the people who chased Bradford’s ancestors out of the Black Hills.

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

Cold-Blooooooooded!!!

+1

Unsurprised

Bradford knows all about leaving a Trail of Tears.

I wonder what crazy shit the ol’ Double J is planning?

Whatever it is, it involves hookers and blow.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Double P.

Spur

Hookers, blow and a Dairy Queen Blizzard.

JustStopDude

Chargers take Las Vegas as the third overall pick.

Unsurprised

No way. That implies the Chargers would have to give the city money.

blackroseMD1

Would somewhat screw over the Raiders. I’m cool with it.

Laserface in Sin City, dear God

Smithchez

I always love it when sports commentators talk about the passion of fanbases in remote locations, which wouldn’t exist if there were literally ANYTHING else to do there.

Brocky

Yeah places like wichita, lafayette, and green bay am I right

WCS

WIP callers already have Wentz’s girlfriend’s number:

WCS

Bullshit.

Spur

Now the real fun begins. Chargers need to grab Tunsil. He’s the new Nate Newton

Horatio Cornblower

He’s got a truck full of pot in the parking lot?

Spur
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

So he’s Nate Newnewton?

King Hippo

More importantly, would make me 3-for-3 and temporarily feel smrt

King Hippo

Protection for King Laserface time?

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Well, good lord it’s about time!

Oh, you weren’t talking about condoms.

King Hippo

Shit, I think Pope Frank would be his ride home from teh vasectomy at this point.

Horatio Cornblower

Here are a bunch of highlights of Carson Wentz competing against guys at least three steps to slow to get a sniff in the NFL.

MikeWallaceAndGromit

Well, he’ll certainly be proficient when they introduce Laserball.

blackroseMD1

So many surprises so far! *mind blown*

Also, someone apparently posted a video of Tunsil smoking weed through a gas mask to his Twitter. Gone from it now, but it’s up on YouTube.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zh_enJ3T4AQ

Obviously that means my Bolts are about to pick him.

WCS

So… a self-described “Christian conservative redneck” from North Dakota is going to city well known for being welcoming and accepting tough times without overacting. This should go well.

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

Welcome to Hell!

-Donovan McNabb

Unsurprised

Oh, Great Spirit. Why have you abandoned me?

Horatio Cornblower

Why do they have these guys running down stairs when they’re announced? Someone’s gonna slip and end there career before they get to the podium.

Unsurprised

Hilarity ensues.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Way to predict Cleveland’s pick

Spur

Sam Bradford and Carson Wentz about to be friends forever

LeighAnne

There’s a part of me that thinks Carson Wentz might be good, just because the Browns passed on this pick, and God hates the Browns.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

God also hates Philly though…

Brocky

Good, but only after the Eagles trade him

Smithchez

“FUCK THIS SHIT!”

–Sam Bradford

/flips over table
//tears acl

JustStopDude

WHAT ABOUT SAM YOU BASTARDS!?!?!?!

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

BucknertotheBolts
BucknertotheBolts
BucknertotheBolts
BucknertotheBolts
BucknertotheBolts

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Well, THAT was certainly…

…well, not surprising in the least.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

We go LIVE to Sam Bradford, where he is just weeping incessantly.

Spur

BREAKING: Sam Bradford has taken the Eagles war room hostage at gunpoint and is demanding they draft Tunsil

ThursdaySkyGoddess

At least you know if he aims at you, he’ll miss.

Unsurprised

This will end in tears just like the last assault on Wounded Knee.

makeitsnowondem

WE’LL NEVER FORGET YOU MARTY

Spur

Who would Kevin Costner trade for?

WCS

Imagine the WIP reaction when the Iggles draft a d-lineman.

ThursdaySkyGoddess

Please, oh please, oh please!

Horatio Cornblower

Oh god please let this happen.