Champions League Final Open Thread

Before you do anything, click play on this video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Qqd6T_A9LY

And now you know what the hell they are saying when you hear that song on Fox all day today. The pre-game show starts at 11 AM Pacific with kickoff around 11:45.  As part of the fun, we get a special pre-game kickoff ceremony that Fox probably won’t broadcast, but which you may find on the Spanish broadcast which, interestingly enough, is on ESPN Deportes and NOT Fox Deportes.  That’s PK weird.  Anyway, here is last year’s show, for your viewing pleasure:

BTW, the pre-game show starts at 10 AM on ESPN Deportes, not 11 like Fox so maybe they will show more of the ceremony.

As for some actual game analysis, since I am the resident La Liga watcher/booster around these parts, King Hippo suggested I do the preview for the game since both teams are in La Liga and finished behind Barcelona.

Suck it, Madrid!

This year, The Madrid Derby was tied 1-1 when it was held in the Vicente Calderón, Atlético’s home ground, while Atlético won the game held at the Santiago Bernabeu, Real’s home ground by a score of 1-0.  The game, in recent years, has been a study in a clash of styles.

Atlético tries to win by playing extremely tough defense, forcing mistakes, and killing teams on the counter-attack.  Once they get a goal up, they can pretty much go on lockdown mode and end up winning by two or more as teams try everything in their power to score and leave themselves open at the back.

Real, on the other hand, are a team of superstars that focus more on attacking via their formidable group of forwards which includes Cristiano Ronaldo, Karim Benzema, and Gareth Bale, among others.  Therein lies the problem for Real Madrid.  They have too many stars that demand playing time and there are only 11 men on the field at any one time.  This problem has done in all previous coaches in the last few years including soon-to-be ManU coach Mourinho.

Former Real, French National Team, and head-butting superstar Zinedine Zidane has taken over the coaching duties and, for now, it looks like he’s found the magic formula. Real look to be playing the best they have all season.

The big story-line is that this is a rematch of the 2014 Champions League Final in which Atlético had a 1-0 lead deep into injury time at the end of the game only for Real to tie it up and then eventually score three (!) in extra time to win 4-1.  The styles of play then were pretty much the same as now.  Atlético could not hold on to their one-goal lead (as is their preference) that time.  What makes them think they can do it this time?

I think they have learned their lesson and will be more aggressive in seeking a second goal, should they score first again.  The story of this game will be written with the first goal.  Whoever scores it will win.

BTW, the stadiums are only roughly 4 miles apart.  That should make for a very interesting Saturday in Madrid.  I suggest you go to your local churreria and stock up on these for the game:

That way, no matter which team wins, you will be the ultimate winner.  Enjoy the game!

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ballsofsteelandfury
Balls somehow lost his bio and didn't realize it. He's now scrambling to write something clever and failing. He likes butts, boobs, most things that start with the letter B, and writing in the Second Person. Geelong, Toluca, Barcelona, and Steelers, in that order.
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Fronkenshteen

Reply test (with release)

Wakezilla

Good morning / afternoon folks.

One more week of parent teacher interviews hell left and then I can breathe. Thank God.

It’s frightening just to see how many parents are sociopaths who take zero responsibility for their children.

JustStopDude

Ah yes…because a bloated, disappointing blockbuster superhero film matches up just perfectly to the Champion’s League Final…

JustStopDude

comment image

theeWeeBabySeamus

Miraculously, the Asian at the wheel was unharmed.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YjkkjH0GnfY

King Hippo

A real life version of the Mexico/Paraguay Simpsons game is on tonight!!

JustStopDude
theeWeeBabySeamus

@balls…LMFAO.
UR nucking futs.

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

Fox Fact of the Match!

Cristiano Ronaldo plays soccer…or “football” which is what they call soccer in Europe.

JustStopDude

“Its amazing here in the stadium Chip! Literally tens of thousands of unemployed Europeans have stormed the stadium and the surrounding area in anticipation. You can literally taste the excitement. Its a tangy, pungent taste”

comment image

“Thank you for that report and back to the Fox Studios where former crappy US players will spend the next 10 minutes explaining simple concepts to the audience of 12 people nationally who are currently watching”

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hey, I can’t reply, but that really funny thing you said down there? No, the other thing. No, the other thing. Yeah, that’s the one.
Yeah, that was really funny.

Senor Weaselo

Don’t have to teach five hours of lessons this weekend, which means I’m actually wearing shorts. They’re comfy and easy to wear! How goes it?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Bad. The reply button is borked.

King Hippo

I think I just got the trots from the mere mention of said Frito pie. Even though it would be delicioso. Damn my 42-year old digestive system.

JustStopDude

comment image:large

Is the website acting weird…or am I still drunk?….

JustStopDude

Morning..folks…

Jesus Christ the hangover…

Lots of sports this weekend…lots…of…someone…finish…this…………

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

This is the place that my wife is pitching for breakfast this morning. There is literally not a single thing about this place’s website that does not loudly scream “hipster”.

https://www.myhomestate.com/

Wait forty-five minutes for some breakfast tacos? No thanks.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

WHO DOES THE REPLY BUTTON WORK FOR?

Unsurprised

MASTER BLAS—RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY

Which one of you whoremongers broke the reply feature?

King Hippo

And since we has several hours to kill – Balls, why is it that the epic Geelong/Carlton fixture ain’t on teevee in the USA?

indieguy

That song reminded me of being on a yacht and you reminded me I haven’t seen this weeks archer.

Unsurprised

Great. I killed the thread.

Unsurprised

Oh. I tossed up something in last night’s thread so as not to dirty up this one.

Unsurprised

Well, I got SM off my back. Perkins – I’m still trying to figure that one out. All told, I get paid on Tuesday but until then I am just lucky I have this bag of frozen stir fry vegetables in my freezer.

Meanwhile, I just went back and noticed that Charlotte McKinney photo. Jesus, Moose. Thanks.

King Hippo

Spanish/Euro culture – GOD BLESS a nation built around afternoon naps and really strong fucking coffee. I could live there. See also, their womenfolk.

King Hippo

Go……Atletico! Because they is not Real Madrid and not coached by that bellend Zidane.

Excellent writeup, yo.

If’n they do win, they will have taken down, in order: Barca, Bayern, Real Madrid. THAT’S GOOD LESSER FOOTY HUSTLE!!

Covalent Blonde

Well, Balls, this is an interesting reply problem. Nice write up, doll. Expect nothing like this for Poland in three days.

@Unsurprised–you earned churros!

Don T

Atlético all the way man! Argentinian coach, Uruguay’s central defense, two of the prettiest men ever as fast or poaching forwards, and they all press and hit. Real just cakewalked to the final; Wolfsburg gave them a scare and that gun-shy City team too. Atleti eliminated La Liga Champion and the Bundesliga Champion. God I hope Real loses. At least a couple of teeth.
ESPNDeportes: yes. Can’t beat that color. Everything is complicated: a clumsy pass, a poor tackle, a lazy save–complicado, complicado, complicado. They’re informative, but the best is when they go “Foul? In my town, that wasn’t called”, and they go off on that while the stretcher is out on the field.
Loved the preview.

Unsurprised

I remember being in Madrid and getting churros con chocolate at seven am after partying and now it’s 4:34 am and I’m waiting until five so I can call Sallie fucking Mae and beg them to show mercy on my quarter million plus loan balance.

I hate being an adult.

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