NFL Tidbits:
- Fletcher Cox & the Eagles agreed to a 6-year, $103 million extension. Unrelated, Von Miller stares at his 50 Ring and licks his lips.
- Run-DMC had elbow surgery after “an accident in his home” and will be out a couple of months at least.
- Whether he ever sees the field this year is another question.
- Not sure if trolling or clickbaiting, but Florio has clips of a Dallas Morning News interview with Stephen Jones on the 20th anniversary of the Cowboys last Super Bowl win in 1996. Among the takeaways,
- Jerry Jones almost bought the Chargers in 1966? Damn.
- There has been a generation that has grown up without viewing the Cowboys as “champions”.
- No word on killing that “America’s Team” garbage, though.
- They are worried they are losing the older generations that only remember the glory days. (Isn’t that most Cowboys fans?)
- Since their last visit to the NFC championship game in 1995, only three NFC teams haven’t played in that game: Dallas, Detroit & Washington.
- The Seahawks are giving former UW Husky and NBA point guard Nate Robinson a tryout at defensive back. At 32, it seems more like a publicity stunt, but he did start for the football Huskies, so it’s not Billy Crystal playing Spring Training for the Yankees.
- The Packers are using something called dual X-ray absorptiometry (DXA), a method that uses two X-ray beams to measure the muscle, fat and bone mass in a person’s body, to gauge the fitness of returning players, not just Eddie Lacy.
- The logic is sound, and from what I could follow uses the same technology and science as a bone-density scan. (Sill?)
- Using this is based off the premise that BMI uses too-simple measures that declare otherwise-healthy people obese, like JJ Watt, Eddie Lacy. and Phil Kessel.
- resulting in a more-accurate measure of where fat is, not how fat you are, for example:
- Reading the in-depth story made me feel better about my gut, because the rest of me is trim. Ugly, however, still can’t be fixed.
- resulting in a more-accurate measure of where fat is, not how fat you are, for example:
Finally, si.com is reporting that Fan Duel and DraftKings are discussing a possible merger, with Reuters saying it would be Fan Duel acquiring DraftKings. Either way, nothing much will happen until all state lawsuits have been resolved, and restrictions on operations have been removed. Back in my day, we only trusted Greeks with our sports books.
Two separate SI covers this week, both hockey related. (SI will only allow partial covers to be clipped.)
The National Cover has the Pens Stanley Cup win
The “Regional” cover is for Michigan and Canada, and stars – for the last time – Gordie Howe.
Kinda sad it can’t be both, but next week guarantees they will have the NBA champs on the cover, so I understand the decision even though I don’t like it.
Wrapping up the Stanley Cup playoffs, Game 6 barely beat the Tony Awards in terms of ratings, 1.9 vs 1.6. That rating works out to about 5.7 million viewers, and takes into account the 35 share the game had in the Pittsburgh viewing area, and the 9.2 share in the Bay Area. The Tony Awards’ audience was the highest since 2003, and is being attributed to the popularity of “Hamilton”. Also, news coverage of the tragedy in Orlando gave news networks and shows higher Nielsen ratings.
Overall, these were the lowest-rated Finals since the Oilers-Hurricanes final in 2006. Total 2016 Playoffs viewership was down 18% in Canada; it actually improved for the Cup finals. US viewership was down 14% from 2015, but the slim victory for the NHL is that it was the highest-rated Finals not involving two Original-6 teams.
In comparison, Monday’s Game 5 of the NBA Finals had a 14.2 rating, equaling 17.5 million viewers, and Sunday’s “Game of Thrones” episode had a 3.9 rating, or about 8 million viewers.
Conclusion: Gary Bettman is ratings poison, possibly actual poison.
I was too late to get in on the discussion about tattoos this afternoon, so I present my salient facts here.
Because there’s only baseball and Copa tonight,
- Copa America:
- Chile vs Panama – 8:00 – Lincoln Financial Field, Philadelphia
- Argentina vs Bolivia – 10:00 – Century Link Field, Seattle
and sweet-fuck-all otherwise on the TV, here’s a few discussion topics to intersperse amongst tonight’s gifs, tangents, and jiggly pics, because who wants to talk to people:
Led Zeppelin is being sued again for “copyright infringement” again, this time over Stairway to Heaven. It’s by the estate of the songwriter they allegedly lifted from, and is for a percentage of royalties since its release in 1971.
The Russians have been threatened with disqualification if there is more fan violence at the Euro. The most complete collection of photos & video can be found at the Daily Mail. No one’s talking about taking their World Cup away, so consider this a preview for 2018.
The NHL has settled on Las Vegas as its sole expansion team, with play to begin in the 2017-18 season. The expansion fee is $500 million USD, which is what scared off Quebec City. The official announcement will mostly likely be made at the NHL awards June 24th in Las Vegas. Hilariously, this may impact whether the Raiders move.
Finally, my – and your – hero for the Euro is Gábor Király, the 40 year-old keeper for Hungary who is wearing honest-to-God sweatpants while playing net. Deadspin has his pants history covered.
By starting today, he became the oldest-ever participant in the tournament, passing German great Lothar Matthäus. The BBC radio broadcast said the ensemble was because his regular black kit got misplaced once, so he wore the grays during a match. They won, so he kept wearing them. They are now a part of his “look” and are even sold as “Király Bottoms” in the 1860 Munich team store. This afternoon, he was tested 28 seconds in and made a diving save
backstopping Hungary to a 2-0 upset victory over Austria. DAD PANTS FOREVER!
Good news: DFO isn’t blocked on the courtroom wifi!
That’s great news; now commentists can surf while their lawyers are blabbing on.
That’s a good point. I always forget that we have a handful of Raiders fans on here.
Did you yell “OBJECTION!” and slam the desk? That’s all that matters.
http://vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net/aceattorney/images/c/ca/Phoenix_Objection.gif/revision/latest?cb=20130329201545
Now that I finished up with some business in Poland, I’m feeling Hungary. .
http://profile-pics-cdn.xvideos.com/videos/profiles/galleries/93/f0/85/pups3/gal903837/pic_16_big.jpg
BOOOOOOOOOOO!
*liked this pun
Man, facebook was a shit show today. I ended up being called a misogynist because I thought a tweet being shared on facebook was too vague and had a misleading message. Not that I said anything offensive mind you, but, because I was discrediting the tweet that was made by a woman. The kicker is, I didn’t even know it was a woman because I just read the tweet. Yup, social networking is fucking dumb.
On the plus side, I’m pleasantly surprised that when you type in Hot Hungarian women, even with the safe for work feature on, it’s amazingly dirty. Good job Hungary!
http://i2.listal.com/image/794320/600full-bodi-sylvi.jpg
My dog just broke all the locks on his kitchen prison because of another thunderstorm. His first instinct is to make him self feel home on my bed where he gets to hang out when my dad is out of town. I trained him well and wish I could let him stay up here tonight
Out.
http://66.media.tumblr.com/726bcd97ebd20862783485ca53c1fdee/tumblr_mra0b29vT21r52he3o2_r1_500.gif
http://66.media.tumblr.com/94b383e645d30ca84dd3e198db14dd23/tumblr_o83u2vxgjM1uqyzfgo3_500.gif
We know. Night
OK, I laughed.
http://67.media.tumblr.com/d617d6e72180fe6cb5b9b294c4e538b7/tumblr_o76po6Nzt11vrtqoqo1_1280.jpg
http://67.media.tumblr.com/601d5fb73ad95c23e522388a1f32ce01/tumblr_o7a19dbkvR1tkvp7no1_250.gif
http://65.media.tumblr.com/15e171fc00cf758e38f2bd67725e7e65/tumblr_o5holmKUBH1ut6liuo1_1280.jpg
http://67.media.tumblr.com/336c96014a5b2c7c9228c5db7364c380/tumblr_o7a19dbkvR1tkvp7no2_250.gif
http://67.media.tumblr.com/89768977dc651a0291040134d06ffff2/tumblr_o6m0d7Ohn61skel9ko4_540.gif
http://66.media.tumblr.com/e38b27db94cfdf72a06d2e0545ad39dc/tumblr_o7s65reWJQ1s2wio8o1_500.gif
http://bestanimations.com/Food/Beverages/Coffee/coffee-animated-gif-13.gif
Two cups, then?
http://66.media.tumblr.com/fa4e3edab782c4c9f34fa1bcb97c63df/tumblr_o85m2e3rTi1qz6f9yo1_500.jpg
http://66.media.tumblr.com/9858c5aa328c89ea7b9d254beb190012/tumblr_o85gixOWLm1qcd8y7o7_1280.jpg
http://67.media.tumblr.com/c8a4f5a671469bd5708bead74ffb7dbc/tumblr_o828cg9xyf1sl6zsuo1_540.png
http://66.media.tumblr.com/97502239129a9dbf5caa9398e1396e82/tumblr_o8g8wdvVuk1u3yq93o1_540.gif
http://66.media.tumblr.com/42446de9ca92a5906dc5452868259cc4/tumblr_n9xcftgGdo1tdo66yo1_500.gif
http://67.media.tumblr.com/755c28f0587e8c8752e4d2131134652d/tumblr_o84deeUslf1tbkx47o1_1280.jpg
Fucking work getting in the way.
Shit.
One of the interesting dynamics with my food posts is that now that we’re starting to elevate the techniques and the preparation, I don’t want to turn back.
I’m going to keep pushing myself further and further until I fuck everything up entirely or make the world’s most delicious food.
I hope it’s the latter.
I’ve got something in mind for Sunday that will either be the greatest success I’ve ever achieved on Sunday Gravy or an unmitigated disaster.
I like my chances.
I had the most unusual Amazon order of all time in preparation.
I’ll tell you later.
How the fuck you doin’ boys?!
And by Sunday I meant a week from Sunday because I already cooked next Sunday Gravy last week.
http://blog.writersdomain.net/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/NationalGeographic.jpg
http://66.media.tumblr.com/5fcbac0150f2aa668900e9571e262e9e/tumblr_o83aweftYk1us57u5o1_540.gif
http://66.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lld5bp4fbR1qjva3ko1_500.gif
How dare you. I will masturbate to any Mila Kunis pic
Easy there…. On the other hand PLEASE have more success than Guy Fieri…. PLEASE.
“Welcome back to the yeah right show; let’s go into the kitchen!”
http://66.media.tumblr.com/1ae1d65511f5230a2f19c664c5e56626/tumblr_mmesv9v5nF1rolbjno2_540.jpg
http://67.media.tumblr.com/d529d9830f11932f27b256f47ee62631/tumblr_n7aqxw6kVu1rdfgw4o1_500.gif
God I loved that movie!
http://67.media.tumblr.com/62f81bf404961e1cb9d7767d8927bfe9/tumblr_mlvyu5UvtD1qzz8m7o1_500.gif
I still want a gif of the Hound axeing a guy in the dick as a reply. How has the next generation failed so hard
Am I too jaded? The first thing that popped into my head hearing about the Gator attack at Disney is “The parents killed their kid and blaming it on a gator”
I like OITNB, especially since Netflix’s marquee series (House of Cards) is shitty Clinton fanfic that is so stupid I actually hate-watched seasons 3 and 4 even though I think the idea of hate-watching is dumb, but it was so entertainingly stupid in a way I can’t describe.
Anyway, OITNB also has the benefit of having numerous moments in the flashbacks that remind of the stupid shit that my family or family friends have done. It’s pretty brutal on the stupid decisons the Latinas on the show make, but … that’s reality. Meanwhile their men are even stupider or just awful, and again … that’s not alien to me.
I was thinking last night when I couldn’t sleep that it doesn’t really make sense why I watch GoT, Silicon Valley, and Veep. I don’t know why I managed to watch all of season 1 of Love. I can at least point to reasons why I watched Lady Dynamite. (I only watched Daredevil season 2 for the fights.) Archer season 7 sucked. Americans is amazing and I cannot wait for season 5.
Anyway I haven’t accomplished shit and feel like crap. So I’m going to read and go to bed.
I only read like 20% of that, instead of doing what you are planning just get more shitfaced and hang out with me instead of that sleep idea
I don’t have booze
I really hope you are doing ok tonight. I know it has just been shitty. I am sorry for going to jokes for no reason, You know I am there if you need me to talk
I enjoyed Archers past season.
http://66.media.tumblr.com/f610bb52ddd9e079d4b1a8cd36858f2c/tumblr_o6vzrcxsd51tlrqi3o2_400.gif
OITNB definitely has relate-able stories, but, I think I’m done with it. It seems to me like it tries to get a couple of good quotes, so their fans can post it on their Tumblr page and that’s it.
With that said, if Flacka and Ramos ever have the hot and steamy sex scene they need to have, I’ll take everything I said back.
http://66.media.tumblr.com/ad42fc59b31ca9e6bc6a4d0e2d55a8f8/tumblr_o86wl9ASUI1u49wvgo1_1280.jpg
http://67.media.tumblr.com/6b41d42ceeda1c9167eec6dd57814028/tumblr_o84zpcpvVB1u4swzso1_250.gif
http://66.media.tumblr.com/13320fc0f96845b3a99b01f5d4b0f08a/tumblr_msf5mxhkfe1qh109ao9_250.gif
Hellloooooooo
http://65.media.tumblr.com/f069bed535a5f6e37d1ef62473c94955/tumblr_o83qv5u4we1rmnn70o1_1280.jpg
http://66.media.tumblr.com/b165324514ad766252e103b10e21642f/tumblr_o6vzrcxsd51tlrqi3o1_400.gif
http://67.media.tumblr.com/e3b41a8566386984bfa1b0606fe75e9a/tumblr_o89b2ovxXL1tikjvqo2_400.gif
https://youtu.be/z5rRZdiu1UE
OK, it is not even close to Sexy Friday, but I am letting this week bother me already. Fuck it.
http://65.media.tumblr.com/85be49bf232780b5ffb5d0235317577a/tumblr_o19so50kyz1s9bqq4o1_1280.jpg
KITTY!
http://67.media.tumblr.com/cf44ccf25b59639617f403e9904b83a2/tumblr_o84zenp8So1t5wtwco1_400.gif
I favorited terrible 90’s songs the other day, I should post some
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1I-dwO-Qu0E
Best song by a Christian rock band that slipped into mainstream “MMM MMM MMM MMM” or this
Wow. You hit me actually liking the song and it being created by a terrible group. You win
Crash Test Dummies album was great actually really enjoyed “God Shuffled his Feet”
So, we had a blowout game earlier as the only thing on TV because the regular TV season ended and summer TV doesn’t start for a couple more weeks and there isn’t really much to look forward to. I guess Mr Robot. So what is everyone watching now that the game is over? Mine is probably gonna be the worst. Old cast panel of Game of thrones stars with Mac (Rob Mcelhenney) hosting
I am now watching Counting Cars because I lost control of the remote. Thought about watching James Corden for Alison Brie (note to everyone: Alison Brie on James Corden), but there’s also Matt LeBlanc talking about the new To–doooooooon’t caaaaaaaaaaare.
/Waits for The Grand Tour
//Hopes there will be an NYC ep
I count only blue cars
I love that terrible 90’s music
I’m not watching TV except HBO on Sunday nights. And Mr. Robot when it comes back.
7/13/2016
Not soon enough.
Broncos lead the Giants 13-10. Coors Field makes Fenway look like a pitcher’s park.
Oh shit. I forgot there’s an Open Cup game at Providence Park. I’ve been hearing the crowds a bit over this podcast and it finally hit me what that sound was.
Portland 2 – 0 San Jose
Sorry, CB
Ok, the game is basically over now. My one regret is not talking shit about Messi more. I had a comment written in my mind but I couldn’t find the gif of the Hound axeing a guy in the dick that I wanted to accompany it, and now I can’t remember the shit talk I was gonna shit talk.
You know what really grinds my gears… all these dumb petitions that won’t do anything.
“Sign a petition to fire the Judge from the Stanford rape case”
That’s not how that works unless you live in California.
“Sign a petition to ask the NFL to ban Terrence Cody”
The dude hasn’t played sing the 2014 season and only had 84 combined tackles in 4 years for the Ravens. That is not even good enough for the Eagles or Cowboys to consider signing him.
Who is Terrence Cody?
Oooh! Sign the petition on Whitehouse.gov, which will get a response with all the sincerity and relevance to governing as the official response to the petition to build a motherfucking Death Star.
Really? Brewers and Giants are tied? Why the fuck can’t we hang out above .600 for more than 24 hours at a time?
I have jury duty tomorrow. I also have a flight to Chicago Friday. I see no way this can end poorly.
Just wear a Pro Trump hat and profit.
My grandfather approved of my Turkey preview, so I guess I’m doing something right?
That sounds awkwardly rewarding!
My sister was talking about Amal Clooney and how she’s one of the lawyers representing Armenia in a case involving the genocide, and that’s how I brought it up.
No angry emails from Turkish nationalists?
Ask DTZM!
Pffft. I wore sweats to softball, hit 2 dingers, and drank 6 High Lifes. Eat shit, soccer!
So Uproxx didn’t write anything about the sweet sweet burn from Silicon Valley.
#upforwhatever unless it involves us running a good site or laughing at ourselves when we get made fun of
Fuck ’em
Its funny because they have been riding the shows and TJ Miller’s nuts hard
Wait, wait, Uproxx actually got MENTIONED on Silicon Valley? I would consider my life complete if Mike Judge were to actually be aware of my existence in any way.
Via the NYT recap:
“Erlich immediately switches to damage control when Richard threatens to send a news release about his screw-up, but to no avail. The release will go out to everyone. “Even Uproxx?” Yes. Even them.”
So, much like I have learned that I should probably avoid attempting a back flip, at least when some asshole with a camera is around, I have learned tonight that yoga-balance ball thingies would also bring me my demise.
Is there a video of said attempting of backflips?
What was it? Like 4 or 5 nights ago the open thread was littered with amazingly ungraceful maneuvers? There were no less than three dozen GIFs of people eating uproarious amounts of shit.
No, I meant you.
Touche!
A video of you failing on a yoga balance ball would also be welcomed
A thing of grace and beauty is what you mean.
I am pretty sure that is what I said
I’ve mostly killed my plate of morning bacon. This can’t be good.
–mostly
They mostly come out at night… mostly.
Evening people I don’t know in real life!
http://www.reprobaitmagazine.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/GIF-1.gif
Or is this just fantasy?
Oh, bucko, I ask myself that question every morning when I am trying to smash my alarm clock into smithereens.
To prepare for tomorrow’s Euro matches, I’ve been watching Russian dashcam vids & gifs.
http://24.media.tumblr.com/c3e80236dde41229e9e082ed1ce1e6cb/tumblr_mto1yd8dRP1s02vreo1_400.gif
https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-jXA6m7OHqPw/VQBNmNgmsDI/AAAAAAAAZ6k/JIpFDo8CUY0/w426-h251/15%2B-%2B1
This one could actually be from the future.
http://www.gifbin.com/bin/012013/1379435948_driver_runs_over_pedestrian.gif
Flop away from the play with less than a minute left, don’t get the call, lays on the ground for 40 seconds before getting up perfectly fine instead of helping on a final push.
WOO SOCCER!
So in other news my depression is still curb-stomping my ass.
That sucks man. Mine seems to have subsided with the right meds. That or my apathy is just depression in a better suit.
You have my sympathies.
But at least you’re here.
(wait…forget I said that)
Yeah
Sooooo….I guess letting me off with just a warning is kinda not a thing anymore, eh?
http://forgifs.com/gallery/d/63700-3/Backs_into_copcar.gif
http://img1.joyreactor.com/pics/post/gif-parking-guy-fail-694553.gif
“…You’re good!”
Sill, be it women, meat/sandwiches or drugs…I find that the more you post the less I am prepared to make a choice between Argentina and Bolivia.
As my friend Hippoz might say….Drugs and Ass fo’ everybody.
According to Sill’s chart my colorblindness is worse than I thought. And according to a related site via Google I have Daltonism, which would be cool if it were in anyway related to Swayze’s character in Road House.
Forget I ever posted that.
It’s totally meaningless outside a controlled clinical setting and I should never have put it up.
There is NOTHING to be learned from how you see those plates.
Well, I just don’t know how bad it is. I know I didn’t have a problem with the uniforms from that one colorblindness-hating game last season, but that’s about it. For everything else, it’s probably why I never got into art.
The Bengals have been suffering from Daltonism for a few years now.
http://www.eonline.com/eol_images/Entire_Site/2013225/rs_350x263-130325124339-c4031e6253a0c0ff4aa70891beb990dd.gif
Argentina
http://www.silvercollection.it/1224JOSEPHGILBERTBIS.jpg
or Bolivia
http://en.mercopress.com/data/cache/noticias/14059/240×0/cocaine01.jpg
You know else wanted to take a visit to Argentina.
So the shooter is a self-hating gay guy who attacks gay people but called 911 and said “Hail Hydra” and people are calling it an Islamic based terrorism?
Because of gayness.
Because ISIS is gay?
More like ISIS has nothing to do with anything.
Oh, good, Sill is still around so I don’t have to respond in a dead thread to a comment he seems to have deleted for no reason so it is gone because I hit refresh. I could see the number 16 in the first colorblind test picture, the other eight nothing.
The resolution on your screen must not be high enough.
I was gonna say his BAC might be out of whack, but your thing sounds less insulting.
I woke up from a nap and that was the first thing I saw when I turned on my computer. Also like I said I hit refresh right away so I only saw it for a few seconds. What did I miss?
I know I’m partially colorblind, but I have no idea to what extent anymore.
Argentina
http://a-matter-of-thyme.com/wp-content/uploads/argengrilledsteak_03_640.jpg
or Bolivia
I see the number 16 in the salsa… am I doing it right?