NFL Updates:
- Cowboys DE Randy Gregory is facing additional suspension above his four games already scheduled. At this point, 6-10 looks like a pipe dream in Jerry World.
- The [*Redacted] s are considering Greg Hardy as a replacement for Junior Galette. And thus Dan Snyder returned to his natural domain of bad ownership.
- The Lions replacement for Megatron appears to be Anquan Boldin.
- Jake Long signed with the Ravens; the Falcons released Devin Hester.
- Today’s PUP list additions:
- Jordy Nelson
- Louis Murphy
- J.R. Sweezy
- Tyler Eifert
A couple of Packers QB stories round out the daily coverage I care to present:
- Forever earning Mooch’s enmity, Deanna Favre will present Brett Favre for induction into the Hall of Fame.
- Aaron Rodgers revealed on “Any Given Wednesday” what the true meaning of “OMAHA” is. All this time, I thought it was a steak advert Pey-Pey managed to sneak into game broadcasts, like Rodgers’ ‘Discount Double Check’.
Finally, Bashaud Breeland brought his bulldog puppies to training camp, where they are, unsurprisingly, a big hit among staff and fans.
Not much exciting about tonight’s Democratic Convention coverage. Here’s the agenda. The official poll will be held to confirm Hillary’s nomination; there will be a bunch of boring speeches by courageous people; and at least 1-2 outbursts from the crowd. I’m sure the report from the LGBT caucus will be riveting. It’ll all come to a head about 10:00 EDT, when Bill Clinton gets up and tries to validate his wife without sounding like a smug prick and/or a guy planning a dynasty.
It doesn’t help when places like the NY Times is openly speculating about what Bill will need to do in order to both stay busy and keep out of trouble. Good thing Chelsea’s already married and producing photogenic grandchildren.
Watch if you dare; debate as we do.
Tonight’s sports:
- MLB: Cubs @ White Sox – 7:00 – ESPN (National game)
- WWE: Smackdown Live – 8:00 – USA
Alternative programming:
- CW:
- 8:00 – Whose Line Is It Anyway?
- 9:00 – MADtv – a new iteration of the old FOX staple
Nights like tonight really raise the anticipation for preseason football. SAVE US, ROGER!
Cutch is not playing the basedball as well as was hoped for when the season began.
Hey, it’s Howard Dean
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9j6xm7e5bJo
Today, they would have put a disabled child in the path of his fist to up his favorability among primary voters
http://rs156.pbsrc.com/albums/t6/a_rod212/GIfs%20Album/Byah.gif
Fuck you, photobucket.
It is impossible to look at that and not laugh.
Oops. You beat me to it. I only saw the not working gif before mine posted
I am holding out hope that both party’s conventions are just elaborate hoaxes and next week they will announce the real candidates we get to choose from in November
THESE SANDERS DELEGATES THAT WALKED OUT I CALL THEM MIAMI HEAT FANS DURING GAME 6 IN THE 2013 NBA FINALS CAUSE IT WILL BE HILARIOUS TO ME IF THEY ARE NOT ALLOWED BACK INTO THE VENUE.
No reason to now. Their job’s done.
Best part of the Trump campaign being so dumb and strapped for cash is the fact I don’t have to stomach Pro Trump videos.
sadly the one actress on the screen on that I have seen naked is the one I never wanted to see naked and not the one I would like to see naked.
I take it this is the “Lena Dunham” portion of the program?
Yeah I just realized i was in a major delay because I paused it while talking business with a client…
Positive note Duchess Realty services has got its first major client in the Northern Virginia area.
My business partner is a pretty big wheel in the Loudoun County area.
http://vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net/simpsons/images/a/a5/Cracker_factory.jpg
Geez, dude. Selling one house in NOVA would probably be more than all of the money I’ve ever had.
Bea Arthur v Rue McClanahan?
I can’t watch this Democratic Convention, it is terrible so far from what I have watched tonight. Also, apparently Hillary saved New York after 9/11. I guess I liked that 30 seconds earlier when Elizabeth Banks was introducing the next speaker.
http://i743.photobucket.com/albums/xx76/choctawOK_2010/elizabethbanks.jpg
It’s hard for me to not view everything with a cynical eye, but this is where Hillary will chip away at Trump’s supposed patriotic edge and try to turn the whole conversation into “What has Trump ever actually DONE for us?” At the end of the day, the woman is a political assassin.
Currently marking English 10 summer school.
If I see “would of” and “could of” one more time I’m hittin’ the bottle.
And that was the last thing he posted before succumbing to alcohol poisoning …
http://i.makeagif.com/media/10-15-2015/bLr4JA.gif
This needs to end with a crucifixion of Mitch McConnell.
http://66.media.tumblr.com/a8eefd2d27c8d404a40c7edb31d51abf/tumblr_oaiwtiCBW31spnykgo1_1280.jpg
What a cute picture of Bill and his grandmother
(seriously how did she look 65 in a picture I am going to assume is from the late 70’s/early 80’s)
Oh hey. Forgot Alexis Bliss was on the main roster now.
WHERE IS YOUR BELT
Seriously. If you’re going to wear a Canadian tuxedo, you’ve got to work the full ensemble.
Is a cummerbund just a fanny pack worn in the front?
It’s where you hide your Canadian bacon!
I meant “the” not “a.”
I know!
Kirk Cameron would tell you it’s just below the bible.
DTZM would say “If it was up your ass you’d know!”
America Ferrera – good.
Lena Dunham – ick.
“Lord, strike this sinner where he stands.”
I was at this game…
WAY TO SHANK IT AT THE END, AND GIVE JEBUSSLINGER THE OT WIN, PISS-SHIT!
http://66.media.tumblr.com/0e4e860510cec23f7ee6cd041dd82b04/tumblr_oac4rdoyTr1s2wio8o1_500.gif
Some kid for San Diego named Dickerson just hit a ball to the fucking moon in Toronto.
http://67.media.tumblr.com/9c8596795a7859dadf17390d92adc358/tumblr_o9yjupogch1rhcen7o1_500.gif
Western/Dino Adventure?
Count me in baby, count me in.
I just noticed; half this fucking country believes in the coexistence of dinosaurs and cowboys.
http://65.media.tumblr.com/937cefaccaa9e43b3674c778f249c0a0/tumblr_oa42uwMMX11ubfgh6o1_1280.jpg
And the other half believes that paper mache dinosaurs had to be phallic, no matter what.
/I don’t believe your country can be saved
Apparently the Padres are 3 more games away from breaking the ’02 Rangers consecutive games with a dinger. Whoda thunk?
/Not me!
Ima Matul, Sex Trafficking Survivor
Let’s see how evil right-wingers really can be!
That right there’s a reason to stay off twitter.
http://66.media.tumblr.com/3b5ba6be88b9dbde3033af0c68bc3c5c/tumblr_oah61a0bUR1u7t71ro1_500.gif
Dude. NSFW
Donna Brazile, Incoming DNC Interim Chair
Seriously!?
http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view2/3550303/shelton-benjamin-mit-o.gif
Thanks to SmackDown being live now, we may actually get to see someone die on TV!
On the SPROTS front, I see Chris Sale failed to destroy tonight’s throwback uniforms
Was there one…
…on Sale?
YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHH
http://66.media.tumblr.com/3d717063ecfe3c2375b24dd08b351cde/tumblr_oamska1T3Q1s01qkyo1_400.gif
This is so brave to put up in response to all the fearmongering. Don’t give me any of this “she’s no different from Donald Trump” or “cautious centrist” shit tonight.
HER AND SLICK WILLIE KILLED PEOPLE BENGHAZI BENGHAZI RIGGED
The rnc doesn’t know that many unwhites.
Vince Foster would agree with you, but he’s too busy doing Tupac’s books.
It’s funny, under normal circumstances I’m really conscious about eating dropped food or drinking from open water bottles whose original drinkers identity is unknown. Not OCD, just the occasional case of the icks.
When I’m sick, all bets are off.
First Michelle gives what is widely praised as one of the best speeches in ever, now “mothers of the movement” night in contrast to “angry lookit what all the dirty brown people are doing ur children are NEXT smh” night at the Trump shitshow. I’d hate to be Rush Limbaugh’s blood pressure.
God isn’t just
I can’t imagine being able to give this speech right here. Elizabeth Banks seemed nervous in this crowd, and these women have to keep their composure while talking about having lost their children on this stage.
“Speaking of his blood pressure, I’ve got a little tune I’d like to sing.”
-Sly and The Family Stone
https://youtu.be/cDjnB_61k58
Thought it would be this one…
http://youtu.be/0_VfGVKzcfs
I honestly believe Hillary cares about these things, but there’s a good bit of faith involved in that given that she can’t say it without sounding like she’s reading off poorly worded cue cards.
Yeah, she needs a charisma transplant from Bill.
If only he stuck his dick in her.
My wife is going through a really rough time right now-I wish I wasn’t 65% responsible for it.
/I worked out a fairly accurate mathematical formula a few years ago
“Where does the extra 5% come from?”
– Jerry Richardson
http://66.media.tumblr.com/fc06ab5dd536806dda9dcaa79b707bfa/tumblr_o9p8rhaSuZ1rhp4nco1_540.gif
The villain from Ghost is making good points.
Oh wait. That actually is him. Hm.
Well, he does play the President on Scandal now.
A Republican president.
THAT is who that muthafucka is!!!
I was being snarky, and then I looked up the actor and it was him. 😡
He kinda looks like Drew Magary
The lesson is to always be snarky
I don’t want to cook, but I should eat. I’m also constipated because what better way to spend 3 hours but sitting on your ass trying not to fart so badly you clear a conference center?
Eric Holder’s voice is like a white noise machine. It just makes me want to fall deep asleep.
Homage to the recently concluded 2016 San Diego Comic Con:
http://www.upithq.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/01/abby-dark-star-lara-croft.jpg
Gotta post the video. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0t_56ck18g8
Looking at the header pic, we need a movie starring Chris Pratt as young Bill Clinton, stat. I don’t care what it’s actually about.
Have you seen John Mulaney’s latest special when he talks about how Bill would hang around outside the Georgetown library offering to walk girls home at night.
That is the cold open to your movie.
Soundtrack playing: The Rapper
https://g.co/kgs/SiVHA1
Bill Clinton’s ma boy
http://67.media.tumblr.com/62b6d6b2a0789dd4c00f4f1d9b7c637a/tumblr_oam1dldPc91qg39ewo1_500.gif
Appropriate given the post’s subject matter.
Alright, Smackdown. You’ve been shit for like 12 years. Let’s see if you can stop sucking tonight.
It’s in Buffalo, so we’re guaranteed at least one splash through a table.
Only question is if it’s in ring or outside in the parking lot.
Why does all my pepper always fall to the bottom of my soup? Nevermind, I don’t think I want to know.
Metaphor for race relations in America?
http://i.imgur.com/QeFW2DG.jpg
They should just do nothing but talk about everything Clinton did before Bill’s rise to power. There’s literally nothing Trump can do to compete in terms of past political and social achievements.
So damn hungry right now. I have prepped dinner (chopped the onions, garlic, zucchini) but have to wait to start cooking the pasta and italian sausage until the lady is on the way home from work. Whisky seems like a good way to hold me over…
birdie sanders
http://66.media.tumblr.com/c7a8828e6ceb11028e1efdd8f7ebfef7/tumblr_oaxnm4ifin1qzfv8po1_1280.jpg
http://66.media.tumblr.com/85828ce9284cd2235ada53625bbb13d9/tumblr_o5usg4tVjW1u307yho1_500.jpg
http://i.makeagif.com/media/6-07-2015/Zo-Y7o.gif
Garfunkel and Oates!
Say what you will, but the Clintons know the game and how to play it. Like Herm they play to win. And much like the recently late Mr. Green said they are who we think they are.
/watching “Carol”, sensing an odd symmetry
One of the things I love about some movies from the 50’s and 60’s is that the directors let the narrative “breathe”. Letting a movie unfold in it’s own good time is a good thing. This may seem counter-intuitive/plain stupid but the example I would use is “The Dirty Dozen”. That movie was testosterone personified and yet it took it’s own sweet time getting to where it wanted to go.
NAWT ENOGH SPLOSIONS
“THERE’S A GAS OVEN RIGHT THERE!!! THIS IS TOTAL BULLSHIT!!!”
-Michael Bay, reviewing the movie
IT’S LIKE TOLSTOY ALWAYS SAID WHY HAVE A GAS OVEN IN THE SCENE IF YOU AREN’T GOING TO BLOW IT UP
[turns on gas]
“If you loud-mouthed folks would just quiet down, maybe I could get some sleep.”
-Sylvia Plath
http://runwayday.com/sites/default/files/files/images/fisti_ru_22266.jpg
Day 1: Kicked some MEE & MPT ass.
Is anything that is happening right now real?
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-fix/wp/2016/07/26/the-creator-of-the-viral-pro-trump-act-usa-freedom-kids-now-plans-to-sue-the-campaign/
Delicious
I think people being terrified of Trump winning are justified (it *is* possible).
But winning a presidential election requires a lot of resources, a lot of organization, and a lot of smart campaigning. I see none of that in Trump’s campaign while our last two presidents had it.
Trump is basically relying on a low-education white person to win. These people don’t turn out to vote in huge numbers. He needs mobilize them and rhetoric along won’t do it (see: Sanders, Bernie).
Yeah, but Hillary still need the poor and minorities to win. You know … Democrats. And Democrats fucking suck at turning out.
True, but Hillary is running an actual presidential campaign. I can’t say it’s as good as Obama’s was (I suspect no) but if it comes down to who can drive more turnout via ground game, I’d bet Hillary.
I just hate them so much. They’re like the Pöpli kids.
At least I never voted for Bill.
/Perot
//I know, I know
So considering the widespread hate, are the Clintons the Patriots of national politics?
Not for me, because I understand that I have no choice but to vote for Hillary.
My insane hatred of the Patriots is limitless.
My extremely rational and justified hatred of the Patriots is limitless.
FTFY
W.