[feels a bit icky making a baseball-related reference]
Damn, I like this 7:10 (eastern) starting time. Sometimes my extraordinarily strict post-work beer, scotch, cider, wine and martini regimen catches up to me and the world starts spinning and the games (yes, the games) lose their focus and I have to find out the score the following morning. This way I’m guaranteed to be coherent all the way into the third quarter of the first tilt. Enough about me-TO THE GAMES!
Steelers/Redacted’s-I feel as though Pittsburgh without the services of rb Bell and wr’s Bryant and Wheaton is a team playing with one arm tied behind their back but it won’t make much difference in the end. I think it has a lot to do with not being able to judge the prospects of Washington objectively because Dan Snyder has come to be the embodiment of a number of shitbags I deal with in my work setting. [takes a deep breath] Everyone is yakking about the Norman/Brown showdown but doesn’t the former play just one half of the field? I’m sure Brown will get moved around a bit and they will cross paths but I think it’s cb Breeland (with help from Hall?) that does the heavy lifting. It’ll be a tiny bit interesting to see who among Coates, Heyward-Bey and Rogers gets the majority of catches. Cousins’ pursuit of a long-term deal would benefit from a home win here.
Rams/Niners-As hc Kelly prepares for the game Jim Tomsula (“we hardly knew ya”) prepares for the coming hobopocalypse. A wasteland of discarded bindles and can-openers awaits mankind-he’ll be the first to tell you! STAY AWAY FROM THE SWITCHYARDS, PEOPLE! The game? Gurley runs roughshod on the Niners and qb’s Keenum(what?) and Gabbert(who?) try their damnedest to keep their combined giveaways below 7. Fantasy-wise, if Hyde goes for 35+ I may just squeak out a not-earned victory.
There she be. Now…LET’S WATCH THE SHIT OUT OF THIS!
A couple more of those from Kenny Britt and Dora and Her Fuck Monkey are going to pound my ass
/I know what I said
Wild Ride Peanut Butter Porter is delicious.
I’m totally down with the peanut butter porter/stout thing. I don’t care that much for peanut butter as an isolated thing, but the added saltiness is great for those dark beers.
What did we do to deserve Buffalo-Jest on TNF?
You touch yourself at night.
But during the day is ok? Asking for a friend.
Invent Thursday, I guess.
Just general terribleness over a long period of time
Seriously? You’ve been on DFO since day one.
You know what we’ve done.
IT’S THE REX RYAN GRUDGE MATCH
These SF Giants look pretty good.
What?
Oh Christ….really?
Yay! I would not have put my money on this being the way this went….
So the 49ers have Berman and Young calling this game for their broadcast, I wonder who the Rams have.
A pair of USC frat bros who wandered into the booth.
This game is making me realize how awful AVClub has become. It’s almost UPRO**ian in it’s transformation
Come on you pigfucker, concuss yourself
I’m just here to talk about how great Kevin Owens is and mock Washington. These are some god awful games on tonight.
http://i211.photobucket.com/albums/bb320/Lthomascsonka/ALT%20Wrestling/clgyX5o.jpg_zpscjssgkeo.gif
The ever-evolving definition of a catch:
– Kegel Exercises = Catch
http://www.reactiongifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/shaking_head_breaking_bad.gif
I wish Jim Everett had pummeled Jim Rome when he had the chance.
So, the Rams moved to LA, and are starting a new era?
http://www.insixgames.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/still_shitty.jpg
Joe Montana is looking down from heaven right now and smiling.
What? Joe Montana isn’t dead.
LET’S GO KILL JOE MONTANA.
Fucker was ‘sposed to go to NC State. Fuck you Notre Shame.
Go buy some new Skechers, dicknose.
On the plus side, when everyone pegs your team for last place, ANY success seems miraculous
Last place gets pegged? This is league I can cheer for.
Shit, be cool. Don’t say “peg”.
Moose is loose.
I don’t know if I’m comfortable with all this pegging
Inorite?
/ouch, stop that honey
Considering the JUGGERNAUT that is Seattle, I…
/remembers yesterday’s game, reconsiders
Considering the JUGGERNAUT that is Arizona…
/oh, right, they lost
SF is actually looking competitive right now.
Oh god, just don’t let our division slowly evolve into the AFC South…
Gurley was just flagged for calling Chip Kelly a deplorable.
I short armed it…gimme a break fuckers.
– T. Gurley
HAIL; BLEERGH
Yaaaaaaargh
You know what this game needs? A bunch of penalties and huddles to slow it down.
This doesn’t look like the LA Rams to me? Where’s Dickerson? Where’s Jack Youngblood? Where’s Vince Fucking Ferragamo?
Dieter Brock isn’t coming through that door.
http://65.media.tumblr.com/7b564b4ed494bf08924a8deb9e1d89c0/tumblr_oaitrcxh0k1qfcn4bo1_1280.jpg
I spent most of the first game doing wedding planning, so I’m in this one for the long haul, no matter how awful it gets.
That’s what I like to hear as I transition to my sixth different beer of the night.
I’m rotating tonight too. Too much in the fridge right now to even think about drinking the same thing consecutively.
I was at a bar where I started with Atlas Rye Rye My Darling (Saison), had a Gose, some Flying Dog White Peach Saison, Berliner Weisse, back to that peach saison, Stone IPA, and now on an Oktoberfest from somewhere I can’t pronounce.
There’s the Chip Kelly offense I know.
http://68.media.tumblr.com/e50a3ed422ca69932c6f86dbf1117231/tumblr_oddb6bIia91qivspno1_400.gif
White and ineffective?
Just like David Duke’s dick.
If that was poker, (which it isn’t Berman, so shut the fuck up), the 49ers just went all in with 7-2 off.
So we are all pretty sure that Gabbo gets injured and is out by the half right?
Yo Gabbo Gabbo
Good Lord this game is terrible. I can’t take it anymore. Good night everyone, love to all.
G’night, RTD!
http://68.media.tumblr.com/378996c42624d8449e219db77df87e09/tumblr_o4tko3cYK91qm3rsfo1_500.gif
Someone check on Rikki in a few hours.
/not it
G’Night buddy
THE FLOW!
http://66.media.tumblr.com/1c3ac53c7665bfb4db7e36588f2be81d/tumblr_odd7mlor2s1qivspno1_400.gif
They should tell the Rams that if they lose they have to go back to St. Louis. That should make them play at least a little better.
http://www.reactiongifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/BooThisMan.gif
That was for you, boss. PS Aren’t you a Browns fan now?
Oh God, I just hate football now.
So Rodgers lives with Clay? That his roommate?
Olivia Munn has to sneak through the bedroom window
http://youtu.be/MWzh7Xg9Krw
I will never not giggle over Clay with the broom in the background.
http://laughingsquid.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/Kzp8Rg.gif
http://i.imgur.com/1d8oV3v.gif
https://www.instagram.com/p/BKMFkRSBs-H/
THERE WAS ALREADY A MOVIE ABOUT AN ACCOUNTANT ON THE SPECTRUM WHO IS ALSO AN ASSASSIN IT WAS CALLED COLDBLOODED STARRING JASON PRIESTLY AND IT WAS PERFECT.
http://coldblooded.ru/gallery/Poster.jpg
The Ultimate Thriller
They don’t understand the meaning of ultimate.
That’s right, the writer/director of the film WAS a writer for the Simpsons during the first four seasons!
I don’t know, that cast seems a little shaky.
http://i510.photobucket.com/albums/s347/Eva4U2/Controversy/Rush_Tripping_out.gif
Damn you….faster than me.
Giggity.
I’m not sure I’d trust Michael J. Fox’s aim these days.
Michael J. Fox is only in it for about two minutes, and all he does is drink some coffee and [SPOILER CAUSE YOU SHOULD TOTALLY SEE THIS MOVIE] get shot.
Psssst….Beastie….psssst.
You dint kill yoself with vodka on top of life threatening allergen hypersensitivities did ya? Because I hate to tell you this, but your wife knows you were gonna try that shit. And she ain’t happy.
http://68.media.tumblr.com/d078d9c4045d4166eac24e97da40053f/tumblr_ocrc6hToi01u01bamo1_500.gif
How can I be upset when I was doing the serving? You under estimate my coolness.
No I do not.
But please try not to kill him.
After 20 years of dealing with this, she has a pretty good handle on what to do for the various reactions….luckily, since half the time my brain turns into jell-o.
LMFAO. I wish I could tell you why I’m LMFAO…but that was funny as fuck right there.
I like your wife Beastmode, when she decided to settle for you, you got lucky.
THANK YOU!!!!!!!
http://www.reactiongifs.com/r/yaar.gif
Just one shot. So far. And my hands are warm again, so I think it shut down some of the side-effects.
http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mctafhwrB91rcaovvo1_500.jpg
The 49ers new campaign to excite their fan base…
http://66.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mam8zhFNJt1qdci9xo1_500.jpg
He’s definitely at least breathing heavy.
STOP POLICE BRUTALITY AND TODD GURLEY
I hate you
I’m gonna kick your ass. I’m like an iPhone 7, you’re like a piece of toast.
HEY COACH DID YOU HEAR THE NEW GALAXY PHONES TOAST THEMSELVES? YOU DON’T EVEN HAVE TO CHARGE YOUR PHONE IN THE TOASTER ANYMORE!
Remember, nothing ever happens in Blaine…
My mini FNL theme is over after this one
http://ilarge.lisimg.com/image/8613867/1118full-dora-madison-burge.jpg
I’m gonna have another Pimms and go play Civ 5.
Bright side : At least when we get to week 4, RG3 will probably still be out and we won’t have to listen to a horrible “revenge game” narrative!
Pretty sure this is RGIII’s revenge game now:
http://web.eecs.umich.edu/~gameprof/gamewiki/images/d/d9/OperationGame.jpg
Pictured: ECU med school.
http://myhowbook.com/uploads/biographies/1406011102jurnee%20smollett%20bell.jpg
It only makes the pain worse to pretend like we had a chance.
http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y86/hughgivsafuc/Mobile%20Uploads/Adrianne-Palicki-6.jpg
https://mobile.twitter.com/SouthPark/status/775519767474024448/video/1
I was promised SF would be terrible before I decided not to hold onto Hyde in my keeper league.
That probably just cost me a win this week.
Well, that and my decisions to draft Bell and Brady and say ‘fuck it’ until week 5.
You should Hyde that fact.
http://68.media.tumblr.com/21b64b9f54347144579a4e3e2c2b3bc0/tumblr_ob1hnhpARG1tdjm1mo1_500.jpg
That’s the Rams defense I remember watching.
Berman: AND THE 49ERS HAVE JUST WON THE SUPER BOWL!
Hee hee
that was, um, that was bad
Fightin’ Tomsulas, lookin’ competent??
LA has made Fisher’s moustache soft, man…
http://68.media.tumblr.com/6a6b39d750daaf8316b2dd6865b95fa1/tumblr_msarmutCnY1ric2iqo1_1280.jpg
If Gabbert gets himself killed and Kaepernick comes in and throws for 250 and 2 TDs and runs for 75 and another TD 49ers fans will be burning flags in the street.
Limbaugh and Hannity would immolate themselves on air if that happened.
LET’S GO KAEP
Listen to Berman for another 2 hours or go get some sleep? Hmmm, night all.
http://66.media.tumblr.com/cff45be3dd5390587d5296f45af06afe/tumblr_o7z67yWHur1ti2781o1_400.gif
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7JKuv1bGbFI
http://67.media.tumblr.com/2df3d7335e3898bacb089de81be62196/tumblr_octpmhA4Rq1vb46leo1_400.gif