Your LA Rams Bye Week Update

Well, here we are fresh off a loss in London to the New York Giants.  What can we say about these Rams?

In my Rams Preview, I predicted the Rams would be 3-4 at this point.  Their record so far?  3-4.  Granted, it didn’t go exactly as planned.  This table will tell the tale:

GAME PREDICTION ACTUAL
AT 49ers Ass Kicked Ass Kicked 28-0
Seattle Ass Kicked Embarrasing 9-3 Win
AT Tampa Bay Win Win
AT Arizona Loss Surprising Win
Buffalo Win Loss
AT Detroit Win Loss
NY Giants (London) Loss Loss
TOTAL 3-4 3-4

 

The Rams have had only two real home games and have split them.  This means, of course, that my two buddies with season tickets are still waiting to see if they can make up the money they paid.  With a 3-4 team after the bye, things are going to get tough.

My two buddies have both told me that they are now trying to decide if they are willing to hold onto these tickets for the next two (?) years until the new stadium is built.  That is the payoff they are waiting for.  Not that the Rams will actually be good, but that the season tickets will become valuable enough in the future due to the novelty of a new stadium in order to post a profit.  Of course, this is the type of wishful thinking that led to the housing crash a few years back.  The only problem, of course, is that there is actually demand for housing in LA.

So, given that rosy situation, let’s talk about something else, shall we?  Something that will absolutely destroy any hopes that Rams fans have of gaining a foothold in the LA market.  I’m talking, of course, about

I want this to happen so bad it’s not even funny.  This is the best possible combination of city, team, and fanbase.  Not that there are Raiders fans in Vegas.  There aren’t.  There are, however, a metric shit-ton of drunk Raider fans that live in Southern California that love to party in Vegas on weekends.  Those of us that have done the drive up the 15 and stayed at the Motel 6, Imperial Palace (RIP), and the El Cortez know exactly what I’m talking about.

Those are the cheapest, dirtiest, diviest hotels that ever existed in a city that celebrates glamour and glitz.  They are the natural habitat of the LA Raider fan. I know.  I’ve traveled with them. I dare you to attend one pool party in Vegas and not find at least two or three dozen motherfuckers sporting Raiders gear or tattoos.

Of course, I’m just talking about the guys.  I’m not even talking about the girls at this point.  Poor poor girls.  The wife or girlfriend of a Raider fan is a modern-day saint.  She not only has to put up with his delusional hopes and dreams, she also has to be the somewhat-designated driver (cause baby has to get her drink on too) so he doesn’t get that third DUI and get his licence revoked and then how the hell are you going to get to work because the LA bus system is good, but it ain’t that good?

The LA public transportation system is actually pretty good.

Seriously, this is a marriage made in 24 hour drive-through wedding chapel heaven.

And the Rams are fucked if this happens.  More fucked than Houston.

Can I say anything positive at all about the Rams?

No, not when Tavon fucking Austin is sitting on my fantasy football bench because he has no stats the whole season and has Keenum at QB and Fisher as coach.

There is now talk that Fisher should start Goff and get him some experience to see what they have in him.  Essentially, people are saying it’s already a lost season, so you might as well plan for the future.  This is, of course, incredibly stupid which means that Fisher will probably consider it.  Michael Irvin, of all people, said on the NFL Network that the Rams are in a catch-22 situation. If Goff wasn’t ready to play Week One and STILL isn’t ready to play, then he probably wasn’t that good to begin with.  Which means that the Rams front office screwed up by choosing him instead of Wentz.  If he IS ready to play now and sucks (because the team overall sucks), then you are ruining him for the future.

Typical Rams:  Lose-lose situation.

I will stick with my preview prediction of a 7-9 season

I don’t care what you say, Jeff.  See you at the pool party! 🙂

SIKE!

If you think I’m stepping foot within 100 yards of that toxic bouillabaisse of venereal disease, you must really think you’re going to end up with a winning record.

ballsofsteelandfury

ballsofsteelandfury

International Member of the Geelong Cats and recovering Steelers fan. Likes Butts. And Balls. And Boobs. Pretty much anything that starts with the letter B. Preferably together.
ballsofsteelandfury

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trollsoharduniversity

But if the Raiders move to Las Vegas, the population of Oakland would skyrocket due to the decline in stabbings. I don’t think they have the infrastructure to accommodate that kind of decrease in violent crime.

Duchess

the natural order of prey vs predator will be thrown out of whack.

LemonJello
LemonJello
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Nice application of the highway of death.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
blaxabbath

Bless our heroes.

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Duchess

So FanDuel and Draft Kings have less money than Trumps campaign… If you have any money there get it out folks.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Do they pay themselves out of contributor’s funds?

Isn’t it DraftDual and Fan Kings? I may be mixed up a bit.

Duchess

It can become like online poker where you can’t get your money out because more and more states are labeling it as online gambling.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
blaxabbath

Wait — really?

How can they possibly be losing money? Isn’t it all head-to-head matchups and they just take the vig?

LemonJello
LemonJello

The eleventy billion commercials they push out probably eats into the bottom line.

blaxabbath

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LemonJello
LemonJello

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Tavon Austin was targeted on three of the picks, one of them being a clear drop. Looked to me as though he quit or ran the wrong route. That was the play Collins brought back for a touchdown. Austin also fumbled twice, gaining 57 yards on 15 targets. This far along in his career I think he may have been a draft miss too. Keenum should be a career back-up; but I agree with you that putting him in now could David Carr his ass into CTEville*. Michael Irvin is a dipshit and is wrong about his black and white (chess way, not race way) version of things; different people adapt to new work environments in totally different ways.

*sorry

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“The wife or girlfriend of a Raider fan……”

I had heard that they enjoy getting finger-blasted in the parking lot on occasion; just don’t get caught unless it is one of the costume Raider fans, then meh.

LemonJello
LemonJello

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“So, you’re interested in the triple finger-blast? Ok.”

Duchess

Trump is now going after Polls saying that they are all Bullshit and rigged… How is this guy getting more than 20% of support? Seriously his whole platform now seems straight out of a propaganda-fueled run whose sole purpose is to undermine the whole system.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Answer; people are fucking idiots

LemonJello
LemonJello

Always.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

So in personal news, the gay couple from Chicago that lives next door* sold their place at asking price and will soon be replaced by an older, gayer** couple from Chicago. I am happy they ching ching ching cashed in, as it’s good for everyone here (your truly included) but I will miss them as neighbors.

*not exactly next door but the geometry isn’t worth getting into.
**that is a joke; I have no information about their relative gayness.

King Hippo

*** u r just playin teh odds in Nobbumer’s America ,, no ofence

blaxabbath

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SonOfSpam

Not sure Rikki’s being bigoted here…he sounds sad at gay neighbors’ departure and emotionally erect at the prospect of gayer neighbors.

Also, c’mon quit it no one is enjoying Feud Part II: The Feudening

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I framed it that was because that was pretty much exactly how my neighbor framed it when he told me that they were leaving, and I thought it sounded funny.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

I’m getting really, really tired of this shit.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Don T

That Raiders – Vegas thing looks like a win – win ploy. OAK gets the NFL $ to stay, NFL gets some due diligence for moving an AFC South team to Vegas. Eventually.

blaxabbath

Everyone in the South has a fairly new stadium, I thought? Would JAGS still be the leading transplant candidate?

Senor Weaselo

Isn’t it always the Jaguras?

King Hippo

London has DIBS and will politely CUT A MUTHAFUCKA

laserguru

Well San Diego, it’s been a blast as always but I’ve got to check out and roll north.

There will be one quick stop.

Oh yes. Lolita’s here I come.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised
Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I should add that I gained 10 pounds in the last month

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Fun fact: “Bait and switch” is how Adrian Peterson refers to it when he takes his kids fishing.

/I am not going to keep this joke in my pocket until someone mentions the phrase “bait and switch” or Adrian Peterson is relevant again, so I’m using it now.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Excellent

blaxabbath

Vikings are leading the division because he fumbleritous isn’t killing them. That makes AP relevant.

SonOfSpam

Sounds like a Kellen Winslow Jr./Adrian Peterson law firm.

laserguru

Ah the restorative effects of a solid eggs Benedict. I’m alive again.

King Hippo

also, to shout at the universe…I ALREADY VOTED AND I HAVE NO MONEY, DEMOCRATIC PARTY! I KNOW YOU MEAN WELL, BUT LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!!!

SonOfSpam

We’re only $5 away from beating Darrell Issa. If he wins, we’ll know to blame you.

(I’d beat Darrell Issa for much less than $5)

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Every time I get mail from Issa begging for money, I can’t help but laugh at the irony.

https://www.thenation.com/article/darrell-issas-got-plan-put-postal-service-death-spiral/

SonOfSpam

That’s a great point. All these asshole wanna starve the beast, meanwhile they’re taking full advantage of the beast. Issa’s the fucking worst.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Sorry, but these gifs are just too good.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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jjfozz

My prediction for the Ravens 2016 season: 3-143, because this fucking season is going to last forever.

King Hippo

yet I will get SO DEPRESSED when it ends that I am already kind depressed just thinking about it

/could also be the dread of possibly losing to fucking BROCK LOBSTER

blaxabbath

I’ll take the over.

Sill Bimmons
Sill Bimmons

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King Hippo

SIKE!!! should definitely return to the lexicon.

Doktor Zymm

I wonder if having the Raiders would be good or bad for property values in Vegas?

blaxabbath

As I understand it, they want to jam the stadium at the south end of the strip (but beyond Mandalay Bay/Excalibur/T-Mobile Arena) nearish to the airport. This is one location where a hotel tax may actually pay for the stadium but, in the grand scheme of things, I don’t think it matters any more to the greater LV area than any other tourist attraction going up on the strip.

Non-strip Vegas needs a lot of other issues addressed in terms of property values.

(I not realize your question was probably just a joke and now I look like a dick.)

Sill Bimmons
Sill Bimmons
blaxabbath

I’d hold on to the tickets, especially if they had to pay one of the fees to just get rights to buy them in the first place. I’d reconsider if Congress actually DOES SOMETHING about online ticket bots but, come on, it’ll be a cold day in hell when supply and demand sets the ticket market.

I think part of the problem (aside from RAMIT sucking) is that no one wants to go to USC’s stadium to watch football. Using ARI as an example, Sun Devil Stadium was a hell hole but Fake College Stadium sells out every week, very much in part to out of towners escaping their own November/December weather. That will bring away fans to EnosWorld — just as it did for Jerrah — once construction is complete. And that is where your friends are gonna make their dough.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I want to annihilate the Bidwell line from history for me having to attend on fucking game at Sun Devil.

blaxabbath
Sill Bimmons
Sill Bimmons

People like you…oh wait, I guess she’s one of the “good ones.”

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Sill Bimmons
Sill Bimmons

Unlike those African kids eating pizza in the comment last night that you couldn’t help but label #InnerCities.

Or did I just imagine that latest round of casual racial and ethnic hate that constantly spews from this account?

blaxabbath

Probably imagined it. I mean, you are fun, Sill, but you are craaaaa-zeeeeeee.

Sill Bimmons
Sill Bimmons

No, I was happily leaving you alone.

You started this, but you’d better fucking believe I’m going to finish it.

Oh, and it’s there. It’s right after the .gif of the kids eating pizza. If you had the balls you’d go screen grab it and own it like you did my comment in the last thread.

But since you’re as much a coward as any other racist I’ve known I understand that there’s no way that will happen.

blaxabbath

No one here is a racist. Period.

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Sill Bimmons
Sill Bimmons

You are.

“…j***d them down…” isn’t some straw man about hairstyles.

blaxabbath

You got it.

I look forward to some hilarious gif quotes from you this week, btw.

blaxabbath
Sill Bimmons
Sill Bimmons

I just screengrabbed your little #innercities joke and sent it to some people because I don’t know how to post it here.

You’re not going to be able to deny it.

blaxabbath

All you have to do is load to an image hosting site and put in the link. I’d have helped you if you’d asked.

Sill Bimmons
Sill Bimmons

Laugh it up.

Don T

It’s a natural progression, from FF gambling to plain ol’ fortune telling.
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