Your “Potential End of the Civilized World Eve” Monday Night Football Open Thread

Everything that needs to be said about this election has already been said. [weighs in] Goddamn it, America! GET THIS RIGHT! You’ve made your share of mistakes just like any other nation but what differentiates you (and Canada, for that matter) from others is that when it really, really counts you step back from the precipice and make the best decision for yourselves and the world at large. This is another one of those times. Get to a voting booth and vote with your heart AND your head and watch the sunrise on Wednesday morning filled with the knowledge that-as small as those steps might be-progress has been made.

Buf/Sea-I don’t think the NFL likes this game. Why? This one should be all about the D. The Bills D-line are a bunch of rambunctious pocket-collapsers and run-stoppers that lead the league with 26 sacks. Seattle is no slouch in that department with 22. Seattle only allows 15.4 points per game and if you subtract the Bills shellacktification by Bill “Does Not Get Swept By Anyone” Belichick’s Pats, they’re in the same room. The Legion of Boom (I know, I don’t like it either) is not going to have a problem with the likes of wr’s Woods and Goodwin. But I also can’t see rb’s Michael/Prosise running wild like Ajayi did a few weeks ago. My guess? This comes down to special teams (Percy Harvin with a KR TD?) or a defensive score.

Enjoy. LET YOUR FINGERS DANCE!!!!

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Running it inside the five? Well I never!

Horatio Cornblower

Two years to late Pete, just like your warnings about 9/11.

jjfozz

Complete this sentence:

Andy Reid is to ribs as Rob Ryan is to: _________

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Dead babies?

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

ribs of the hooker he just killed

WCS

Dead hookers and cocaine.

LemonJello

Bathtub gin?

Kungjitsu

Different ribs.

litre_cola

Wolfman sighting! Drink!

Fronkenshteen

Here goes Wilson again….

JustStopDude

I don’t like to shit on announcers the same way I don’t like to shit on refs. I think its a far more difficult job to do than people realize. I know it would take me about 10 minutes of talking before I would get arrested by the FBI for going off like a BLA member when my cohost pisses me off.

But dear fucking god Gruden…are we watching the same fucking game? The returner clearly stepped out.

Fronkenshteen

Please………hand it off…..

jjfozz

THIS GAME, IT REMINDS ME OF A VISIT TO THE MONKEY HOUSE, BECAUSE SHIT IS GETTING SLUNG ALL OVER THE PLACE

Gratliff

I’m excited for the sheer number of Alison Brie gifs that are going to come from the new GLOW series.

jjfozz

Yes! Pete Carroll looked pained. My day is complete.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

These Wells Fargo ads remind me of a certain Chris Rock bit about wanting credit for a bunch of shit you’re supposed to do

jjfozz
Fronkenshteen

So if Prosise comes out here, did C Mike lose his job?

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Prosise is mainly a receiving back. CMike is safe until they figure out how damaged Rawls is.

King Hippo

Insanity tells me Lockett has many return yards. I assume he ALMOST got a TD that would have saved my money league team.

Fronkenshteen

He had 2 beauties so far.

/boy, is THAT a hanging curveball

MikeWallaceAndGromit

Isn’t that blindside back block illegal now?

litre_cola

It seems you have caught avataritis.

Claymaker

Not if the block is FUCKIN’ SICK BRO

/NFL cuts block into 8 Bud Light ads

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Matt Flynn would have killed that fly

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I don’t get the connection, just like the shorts.

Gratliff

That’s the same woman being kayfabe murdered by James Storm.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Guess I don’t keep up on the plot twists of Impact Wrestling. The shorts are still the point.

Horatio Cornblower

He clearly stepped out about 15 yards back up the field.

JustStopDude

Special Teams giveth and derp it away…

JustStopDude

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Fronkenshteen

So, the Seattle offensive line is incapable of executing simple running plays? How do they win? How was Marshawn Lynch able to happen there?

Beastmode Ate My Baby

The O-line gets worse every year. All the money goes to RW, and the D.

Senor Weaselo

It’s R&D to make the nano-bubbles smaller!

hippofant

Pre-game, they showed a graphic in which the Seahawks went from the NFL team that spent the most on their O-line to the team that spent the least.

jjfozz

If Brock Lesner isn’t wrestling, he’s kidnapping sorority girls and turning them into sausage and pizza toppings.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Which, coincidentally, is what Brock Osweiler’s agent recommended he do once he washes out in Houston

Gratliff

Sable demands her offerings.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

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LemonJello

So, Virginia must be all sown up for one of the candidates – there’s been nary a political ad to be seen tonight.

Though to be honest, USAA can take a fucking break with all the commercials they’re shoving in my face.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Hillary has Virginia in the bag. When it came out that Trump insisted on going back there recently, the RNC went nuts, and that’s when everybody found out that he’d stopped polling since he refused to pay his pollster. His campaign had no idea how out of reach Virginia was when they had him go back there.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’m excited to go to bed at halftime because fuck this shit

King Hippo

Due to the WOEFUL combined scores of my 3 Donks skill players last night, I still need something from the SEA defense. They were rated #1 by pretty much every rating service for the week. I needed 3 lousy fucking points (in a system where I could get negatives for too many points/yards allowed). Their lowest total FOR ANY GAME ALL YEAR is 7.

I hate my fucking life so fucking much. Buffalo. GODDAMNED BUFFALO!!!

Gratliff

As much as I dig the new approach to women’s wrestling in the WWE, the old ways weren’t all bad.
http://dailywrestlingnews.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/Layla-dancing-in-bikini-2.gif

litre_cola

Belichek supports Drumpf?

Jerome Bettis is from Detroit

Horatio Cornblower

He also says Brady told him he voted for him. Multiple reports that Brady was on Boston radio this am and said he hadn’t voted, and apparently MA closed early voting last Friday.

Gratliff

Oh god. Another Resident Evil movie.

WCS

Will it be the gritty, Christopher Nolan remake?

Horatio Cornblower

But in this one they get to the fireworks factory!

blackroseMD1

Oh yay, a political commercial!

:goes to look for a rope:

Fronkenshteen

When were the Clintons dead broke?

hippofant

It was something Hillary said, that when Bill and she left the White House, they were dead broke.

LemonJello

All those hits they put out on people plus the settlements for Slick WIllie’s “dalliances” don’t come cheap.

jjfozz
JustStopDude

Booo…I was expecting a furry orgy gif…

jjfozz

Oh god, tomorrow on sports radio is gonna be: YOU SEE THAT TRIOD TRAYLOAR PLAYING LAST NIGHT? WE SHOULDA NEVER PAID FLACCO!

You can feel the dumbness coming out of the car speakers.

JustStopDude

Its hard to describe to people what an utter wasteland…Baltimore sports radio is.

I’ve been to remote towns in Mississippi that had more sports radio stations. You would never believe the city had both an NFL and MLB team based on the radio stations.

Is Nasty Nestor still broadcasting from his mother’s basement in Dundalk?

Horatio Cornblower

Curt Schilling is having a great night on Twitter again. Posted a picture advocating lynching journalists.

Kiss that Hall of Fame entry good bye Curt.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

He’ll get in and then they’ll need to cut his mic during the acceptance speech.

LemonJello

Won’t the sports writers fall back on the old “we just consider what he did on the field, not his personal views/actions off the field” cowardly bullshit stance they always take?

Horatio Cornblower

Doubt it. Unlike Peter King and company baseball writers can hold and act on grudges for years.

...

What an utterly pathetic man.

litre_cola

Do we have a good game on a Monday? I don’t know what to think anymore

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Member Reggie Bush?

Oooh, I ‘member!

JustStopDude

Okay…I do not get the member berry thing on South Park. Is that a direct reference to something?

Shogun Marcus

Part of this season’s big arc. I’m guessing it’ll all become clear soon.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I assumed it was the blending of reasonable and unreasonable (read: racist) nostalgia fueling some of Trump’s supporters

Beerguyrob

So, defence is optional tonight?

JustStopDude

“Sherman clearly was beat and had to grab”

/watches replay

“Okay…well I have no clue what the refs were looking at and really..what is pass interference at this point”

LemonJello

“Penetration all over the place.”

What is the exact opposite of my Senior Prom, Alex?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Fuck Richie Incognito and his “rejuvenated” career. He’s still a Trump-loving troglodyte bully who deserves to have his nuts squeezed by minority dominatrixes until he cries.

JustStopDude

Straight up…if it ain’t on video, as long as you can play, your career is safe.*

*Must be white

jjfozz

To every company already hawking Christmas: fuck you very much.

litre_cola

I thought it was an unwritten rule that everyone waits until after your thanksgiving.

Horatio Cornblower

Fuck no. These days we’re lucky if those fuckers wait out Halloween.

Shogun Marcus

That rule is being severely broken this year in particular. I suspect it’s some sort of distraction away from the election. DROWN YOUR FEELINGS IN COMMERCE!

Gratliff

I had a long commute down state today and had to start scanning networks and came across a 24 hour christmas station already. What the actual fuck?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’m assuming I put in an insanity waiver claim for Percy Harvin for nothing

Fronkenshteen

so is Graham’s PCL surgeon the new Dr. James Andrews?

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Why do I watch this? Why do any of us do this to ourselves?

WCS

Self-loathing and masochism?

Senor Weaselo

We are gluttons for punishment.

Fronkenshteen

That’s why I drafted Graham……last year.
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Gratliff

And here’s an imgur link half of you get to see at a time.
http://i.imgur.com/ZYSkkrS.gif

Mr. Ayo
Senor Weaselo

Basketballdown? Yup, Basketballdown.

litre_cola

Fant scored a td?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Holy balls that was an amazing TD catch of a play where buffalo was clearly offsides

JustStopDude

So I guess both teams have agreed to not play any defense tonight…

WCS

Okay, that was pretty awesome.

JustStopDude

Hot drunk taek…

The NFL combine is the dumbest fucking shit in the world. They should just dress everyone up like cast members from the movie “Roots” and check their teeth while owners just start bidding like a slave market.

Yeah…I fucking went there…

Shogun Marcus

I don’t think they make much effort to hide from it. If they weren’t so prudish they’d just have em do it naked. And wrassle.