The San Diego Chargers have returned home, to their original home of Los Angeles. (Is that how I do it, LA Rams fans?) Regardless of whether you’re a fan of the Chargers or a normal person, this news can’t be surprising. San Diego smartly refused to hand Dean Spanos hundreds of millions of dollars for a new stadium, so off they went to be the bottom bitch to Stan Kroenke.
As someone who rooted for the Rams before they decided to bolt for the smoggier pastures of Los Angeles, I have a bit of a unique perspective to help you fight your way through the feelings of betrayal and anger that accompany watching a franchise leave your perfectly functional stadium just because they felt like it.
In fact, I’ve done this dance TWICE, as I also went through the flight West of the St. Louis Cardinals when I was a kid.
So, here we go.
If you choose to soldier on and keep rooting for the Chargers, I have no advice for you. You’re a more forgiving sort than I am, and lots of folks here will tell you that I’m a very forgiving guy, but I don’t truck with betrayal. So, there’s no guide here for remaining with your team.
You have a few choices to start off. Do you want to keep rooting for the team that you have all of the gear for, yet stabbed you in your fancy parts? Or do you want to join on with a new team?
Obviously, nobody wants to stay with the Chargers. Fuck those pricks. They pulled up stakes and bolted. I don’t want to tell you your business, but continuing to support them is like paying alimony to someone who cheated on you and left you. You can be that pathetic sad sack, or you can pick another team and move the fuck on.
Once you have made the proper decision to tell the Chargers to eat a flaming Trump dick, we can get started. Have you moved on mentally yet? PROBABLY NOT.
That’s OK. Keep them in your head. Root hard as hell against them. Everything that goes wrong should feed your hate. I enjoyed every bit of the Rams’ abject failure in LA. I bathed in it. A year is plenty, though. Now I just don’t care, and can just laugh along with everyone else at the crass incompetence of Kevin Demoff and Kanye Kroenke. (I took away his St. Louis names of Enos and Stan when he told us to fuck off.)
The next step is to determine if you are going to root for another team. You’re a free agent now, so go nuts. The other assholes around here will try to sell you on their teams. Don’t set up a poll for who to vote for, because you will end up with the Browns, because people here are awful. So pick your own team. Do you have a player that you love, but he plays for a team you hated? GOOD NEWS! You can be a fan of his now, and fuck anyone who tells you different. If you have been harboring a secret love for Derek Carr or Von Miller or Eric Berry, you can feel free to let that fly.
You don’t have to pick a team, but I recommend it. I did not, even though you guys picked a tie between Buffalo and Cleveland in my poll, which, FUCK ME, but I never really gravitated to a team. This was a big mistake. I ended up rooting for my fantasy players and not caring about who won or lost any game all year, and it really changed my appreciation for the week to week happenings in the NFL.
That’s my real advice. Sit down and pick a new team that aligns with your interests and, in an ideal world, will murder the Chargers every year.
I let my love for the league atrophy through the year, and it never really came back. Now, I don’t have the passion for fantasy football or Madden or anything NFL related and will be moving on from those pursuits next year.
I’ll still run this place, of course, because I love you guys. If this site generated a penny for the NFL, I’d reconsider, but that’s not the case (it doesn’t generate a penny for me, let alone those greedy shitweasels) so I will be here, screaming into the void at the incompetent, greedy heads of the NFL.
I watched maybe three or four quarters worth of Chargers “football” this year. I watched another dozen or so quarters of the rest of the games also. I’m not choosing a new team because the investment is too great. The return is never enough. And with a second child on the way, I don’t have time for it. Plus, with me neglecting to watch the NFL, I won my fantasy league for the first time in 8 years. Maybe I can repeat if I denounce the sport entirely.
I’d say be a Jets fan, but don’t be a Jets fan. You don’t need that kind of suffering.
Danny Boy Snyder may be a total dickhead in every sense of the word, but he’s a dickhead who’s married to his childhood conception of the team. He will fight tooth and nail against any effort to change any damn thing at all about the team. If DC would let him, he would move back into RFK. As things stand, he’ll probably end up with a new stadium in NOVA, since they’re technically the South and therefore totes okay with the name. He also thrives off of hate, and will therefore end up living into the triple digits before someone manages to pry the team from his cold, insane, bad at football hands and changes the name to something dumb, like the “Wizards” therefore alienating the fanbase until no one cares if they move or not.
Wouldn’t the Dragons be more appropriate?
http://vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/internetbox-chat/images/e/eb/Grand_dragon_kkk.jpg
Might I suggest Miami?
– We basically have the same weather as San Diego, except it tends to rain a metric fuckton during the summer months.
– We have lots of hot women Scarface wasnt joking when he said “Dis city is like one giant poosi waiting to be fooked”
– Unfortunately this means we lead the nation in STD rates.
– Our QB is also a religious southerner who wears the number 17.
– We hired the version of Mike McCoy you all expected.
– Much like Phillip Rivers, we wasted Dan Marino’s career, so yeah familiarity and shit.
-If you are willing to pretend that you have glaucoma than you can get all the weed you want stating next fall.
-Even then Marijuana is decriminalized in Miami-Dade county
“-If you are willing to pretend that you have glaucoma than you can get all the weed you want stating next fall.”
Depression doesn’t count? What bullshit. Because, let’s face it, that diagnosis is a given if you’re a Chargers fan.
Truly I tell you,
‘Nuff said.
I’d suggest you start rooting for the Cowboys but even I think that the fan base is 95% sphincters.
/I started rooting for them when Staubach-to-Pearson was a thing, so I’m not an asshole, except to Yeah Right, who is old enough to remember that pass and will undoubtedly claim it was OPI.
OPI is the most bullshit penalty in football (of which those are legion).
Roger Goodell Is A National Disgrace for allowing it and many others to remain and keep the NFL as more lawyerball than football.
Most blatant push off in the history of the NFL.
Goddammit that grudge will never go away.
There it is!
Yet I still love you Horatio.
Damned if I know why.
Holy FUCK is Hippo drunk??
CHUH CHUH
‘IT’S ONE IN THE AFTERNOON AND YOU ARE PISS ASS DRUNK!”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c_xHsZDsIQA
No disrespect intended, but a better title for this post would have been “So Boltman Killed Your Parents…”
BOLTMAN needs a cool, dry catchphrase to use as he’s about to bean the fuck out of Spanos here.
Fact 1 — We work in a pretty specialized construction field. Our company serves as a manufacturer, contractor, and, as needed, designer (basically, full-service). We serve a fairly large scope: new construction on-grade, new construction-elevated, repairs, etc. I constantly deal with two-bit dipships who know one thing (say, new on-grade construction) getting into work they can’t handle (say, repairs) and then I get called in to fix the mess — and since the dipshit is raping the developer, they want to cry poverty about having me fix it right.
(Don’t worry — I’m bringing this around to Fuck Enos).
Fact 2 — There is a guy (an individual who works for a company that has some overlap with what we do), Ralph, who does these side jobs (he’s like a site superintendent) and he’s got a real love for my competitor as his supplier. That’s fine. But then we end up on a project together (with his company, Ralph as their crew super) in 2015 and the guy tries to get us thrown off with these bullshit accusations and ends up getting his own company tossed off of that project and all future projects. No professionalism. Dude is just a straight up, shyster.
Fact 3 — Thursday before Christmas I get called to the local mall because they need a repair (some demo guy screwed up and damaged the reinforcing). I get there and Ralph is there. I guess he knows the demo guy and, while the mall called me, the demo guy called him. Couple hours pass and he promises them the world (working over Christmas, etc) and I gladly pass on the job.
So, yesterday, he calls our shop looking for a specialized piece of equipment. His back is against the wall (Barrett Jackson needs that space this weekend and they’ve still got shoring up because he isn’t done yet) and my competitor shipped him the specialized equipment box, but not the equipment. Well, fuck the guy, right? Nah – my repair crew was free and I figured I’d extend the olive branch (I mean, we still gouged him — he paid cash b/c, like I said, I’m sure it’s a side job — but at least he’s done). So we go bail him out and all is well.
I’m talking to my superintendent today and find out that Ralph is trying to poach my repair guy while we’re bailing him out yesterday. Now, since I can’t hurt Stan/Enos/That Dead Fuck Art, I’m taking out my disgust for general professional decency on Ralph. I’m having a detailed receipt sent to his employer with the times, location, and description of what he paid us for, wholly in the interest of it getting to someone import to find out that he’s doing side jobs in the middle of the day on their dime. I strongly doubt he’ll get fired in this labor glut we have but I hope he at least gets his ass ripped.
That’s good hustle.
Me rip off Blax’s repair guy? That’s unpossible!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KzyCi1BFATA
I quit all my teams. I have no sports love, only sports hate, and it’s beautiful. Don’t pick an NFL team. They all suck. The only thing an NFL team can bring you is misery.
I agree completely.
I didn’t realize that the word “Misery” was a “Derek Carr Broken Leg” trigger for me, but here we are.
I believe in the healing power of hate. Hate got me through a 21 mile hike. “Hate is not a path- it’s a treadmill.” -Phillipriversians 3:12
Mike McCoy is in Denver. You KNOW what is best.
Siemian is what is best for this offense.
It’s also good for continuing the family lineage…
I’m not sure how many to do, but this is fun.
https://www.doorfliesopen.com/index.php/2017/01/12/electric-exodus-the-final-showdown/#comment-304357
Also, this is the 1 year anniversary of the NFL voting to move the Rams, so that’s nice.
Maybe they can do this once a year and eventually this musical chairs of teams to new cities will leave us with the whole fucking league in Wichita.
While Plaschke is a dick his article today sums up the feelings of L.A. quite succinctly.
http://www.latimes.com/sports/la-sp-chargers-to-la-plaschke-20170111-story.html
Las Vegas Raiders! It’ll make [DFO]-CON 2020 so much more interesting if someone has a vested interest beyond all of us complaining about the prices.
Become a Steelers fan, or Joey Porter will slice open your belly and feast on your intestines while you’re still breathing.
If you have that choice to opt out I don’t understand why anyone remains a Steeler’s fan
because the Bills ex-fans still have to go somewhere
Yeah, and you don’t want to know what THE BEN is gonna do to that hole while you lay there dying
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QJpb7vSaQpM
/ I had 2, almost went posting neither but I was bored
Also, the Rams just hired a small child as their coach.
McVey? As someone who just watched a McCoy euthanize his former team, let me just say that the damn Irish are ruining the game. Name me one McCoach that’s ever done a damn thing as a head coach. KEEP YOUR POTATOES AWAY FROM MY PIGSKIN!
Look at his babyface. He could get away with murder.
http://murderpedia.org/male.M/images/m/mcveigh/mcveigh104.jpg
Wait wait wait wait wait.
Dude’s offense won the East in 2015 when that division was complete dog shit and, when it rebounded to be a strong division (probably best in the league), they went 8-7-1 and missed the post-season. I feel like this is some backroom deal between Snyder and Kronke so Snyder can let Cousins walk and justify it with, “IT WAS ALL THE COACHING! SMALL CHILD WAS SO GOOD THAT YOU ALL THOUGHT COUSINS WAS WORTH IT BUT I KNOW BETTER AND RG3 IS BACK!”
I think the Raiders are the obvious answer. They’re in the AFC West, so they get two shots a year at inflicting pain on the LA Brokedicks. They have a young core, with amazing talent at QB, RB, WR, and the best defensive player in football in Khalil Mack. Their owner is wacky adorable, and when he got jerked around in this mess, he said fuck it and got ready to leave the whole state for Sin City. And you can bond over fish tacos with Winchester and Hendrick.
Sorry, I don’t have any priors.
I am just throwing the Bears out there as a potential new team to follow. Complete idiot owners running it so that will feel the same, but no chance of ever moving from their city. You could rock a Payton jersey when you go get drunk and watch games at bars. Fan base stubborn enough to consider a ’85 Superb Owl victory recent so you know we aren’t gonna give up on our team ever. Also just for here the Bears fans on here are pretty great.
Plus, Chicago fans love Mark Grace, whose alma mater was San Diego State University
Plus, he’s saturated in alcohol most of the time!
Kris Bryant went to the university of San Diego. Ppl forget that.
(Being a bears fan is terribly depressing.)
I dunno, you guys… It’s no big thing, but, uh… You know, I’ve just been thinking, and, er… Well, the way these things happen, like, one day maybe you see something cool, and… Then there’s a hat you buy, maybe… And, uh… I think I might give watching baseball a try.
But not the padres. Pfft, I’m no chump love sucker. Gonna bandwagon the fuck out of the Cubs.
Shit. The dreaded sixth stage of grief: Insanity.
The joy of being a Padres fan is… uh… well…
Hold on. It’ll come to me.
“Hold on. It’ll come to me. ”
Hey, that’s what my priest always told me* during “special time” in the bell tower!
*not true.
All of those years of friendship and you head to the Cubs. I see what internet friendship bonded over The Room gets me.
The Cubs gave me chocolate on your couch and then I lost me underwears. So I just have to get them back.
Just don’t go Chris R on me. I swear I’ll have your fandom. Just give me five minutes.
YOU STAY AWAY FROM MY CUBS.
I already bought the hat.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO–
The official World Series one with the trophy on it because I got one too and–
!!!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!
Eskimo brothers!