Your “I Waited All Season For This?” Super Bowl and Related Entertainment Shenanigans Open Thread

As Barry Manilow would caterwaul, “Looks like we made it” to our second Super Bowl as a bunch of kid-like creatures that exist under the DFO banner. Well done everyone! [waits for ecstatic applause to die down] It just goes to show you what can be done with a wee bit of moxie, three cadavers, an empty garage, a government research grant, one teaspoon of wasabi, a pair of cargo shorts from Eddie Bauer, the letter “R”, (“G” can suck it-look at us now buddy, maybe you’ll actually answer your emails in the future) a few bottles of Zantac (150-the extra strength kind), the love of a bi-polar woman, superior gas mileage and some second-hand pot smoke. We’re unbelievably lucky because if you were to combine all these things together at any other point in time you’d not only not get this particular result, you’d more than likely get arrested. I thank God every day that there was no God to interfere with the extraordinarily delicate process that brought this whole thing to fruition. TO THE GAME!

In your daily wanderings across the internubs you may have gleaned that the Falcons of Atlanta are dueling the Patriots of the New England. Based on my long history of watching football I know that each and every member of both teams are going to try their very best to win the game because there is a financial bonus attached to doing so. For some it might be 10k, for others it may be 5 mil-whatever the amount, all participants (including coaches) regard this as “free money” and will do their utmost to have that money dumped into their bank account. Some will secretly record practices, others will intentionally deflate footballs. It’s more than likely that a certain unnamed squad is violating the spirit of a specific rule as I type. I’ve always felt that you are the sum of your actions and not what your guttural one- and two- and three-word responses in press conferences imply.

Okay. Now you know who I’m cheering for. Big whoop. Now it’s time for you folks to chime in. Tell us goobers what you’re up to. What are you cooking? Where are you watching the game? Hey lurker, say hello and let us know that you like what we’re doing and how we might make things better. We’re all ears-except for me, I’m all coccyx. Yeah, that’s right-I’ve got a big coccyx. If you lurk and have a medical degree…please, this condition is not pleasant AT ALL.

Enjoy the game people.

 

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Wakezilla

Billicheck at halftime: “fuck it. Lets just steal their play calling with Vladdy’s technology.:

Doktor Zymm

Ok, that was actually pretty clever

Dunstan

Brady leading the Patriots “so called” offense. SAD!

Spur

Belichick scribbling intensifies

entropy

Every single rusher was held and they still only gained three on that play.

Old School Zero

Son of a Baptist stout: NSZ tested, OSZ approved.

Senor Weaselo

We’ve replaced Tom Brady’s arm with Phillip Rivers’s. Let’s see who notices.

...

The first place to look will be Gisele’s uterus.

Romonobyl

Last time I saw a float like that it had a scoop of ice cream in it.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Also, fuck Stan Lee for continuing to take the credit for Jack Kirby’s creations.

the Alpha and the Amoeba

Does anyone else really hate his cameos? To me, it just ruins the immersion.

JustStopDude

Oh please…there are a shit ton of things to give Stan Lee shit for…but that isn’t one of them.

The comic book industry is set up to fuck over content creators.

Now his fucking non-stop shoe horning into fucking films…he should be shot in the fucking streets.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Sorry, dude, but I know more about the comic industry and history than you’ll ever want to. Kirby still got shafted, and Lee got far more credit than he ever deserved.

Doktor Zymm

ThePirateSloth

God damn you Sir Anthony Hopkins. I’m mad at you for making me see you in a fucking Micheal Bay movie.

God damn you.

Wakezilla

That transformers movie looks like Michael Bay wanted to remake every Nolan movie with Transformers as the characters

...

So good that the first touchdown scored against Trump’s team was by a black Freeman.

LOL TRIGGERED?!?!

WCS

They need a safe space, the poor snowflakes.

Senor Weaselo

That’s a good one.

JustStopDude

Dear China…because you keep spending literally BILLIONS to watch shitty Transformer movies, that is all we are going to produce for the next 10 years.

Fuck you.

Brick Meathook

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WCS

I’ll approve of most anything with Chris Walken.

ThursdaySkyGoddess

Yearbook commercial freaked me out.

EAT CHLAMYDIA COVERED COCK, TIMBERLAKE!

herodotus450

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Beastmode Ate My Baby

Stan Lee whoring for Honda instead of Marvel now. Weird. UBER-WEIRD.

JustStopDude

These commercials are all terrible…

Romonobyl

MORE COWBELL!!!!!!!!!!

herodotus450

Freeman horning in on Ray Lewis’ territory with all these amazing cuts

entropy

WOOOOOO FUCK YOU PATRIOTS!!

laserguru

Yes!

Don T
ThursdaySkyGoddess
Romonobyl

Well, so much for my 0-0 office pool.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

#24 with the TD!!! WOOOO!

I know, it’s not Lynch, but still.

Old School Zero

FREE MODE

WCS

HOT SHIT

...

Every time I see Justin Bieber I’m reminded that I know what his penis looks like.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Did we ask about your dating life?

Redshirt

Why does Bradshaw have blood on his shirt?

Doktor Zymm

YAY ATLANTA THING!

Spur

That little girl is getting fined for that celebration.

Mother Puncher

Justin Bieber has the personality of a Skyrim npc

Doktor Zymm

So….can I buy lockpicks from him?

the Alpha and the Amoeba

“This is the part where you fall down and BLEED to death!”
-Motto of the Steelers defense

laserguru

Holy fuck. Who greenlighted that Bieber shit?

Old School Zero

/adds T-Mobile to enemies list

JustStopDude

You can now have TO show up to your kid’s bar mitzvah for $2k in cash.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

You have your favorite CD going; fuck the world.

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Spur

Gronk in his natural habitat

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I was happy as a T Mobile customer until this very minute.

...

Why didn’t Gronk embrace his destiny by killing Bieber with a spiked football?

ThePirateSloth
ThursdaySkyGoddess

Beiber and Gronk?

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entropy

This is the most exciting drive I’ve seen in a Super Bowl in quite some time.

...

God, these commercials are triggering the fuck out of Trump’s America, aren’t they?

Bortleback

Care to expand for those of us who are watching the Sky Sports coverage?

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