Your “I Waited All Season For This?” Super Bowl and Related Entertainment Shenanigans Open Thread

As Barry Manilow would caterwaul, “Looks like we made it” to our second Super Bowl as a bunch of kid-like creatures that exist under the DFO banner. Well done everyone! [waits for ecstatic applause to die down] It just goes to show you what can be done with a wee bit of moxie, three cadavers, an empty garage, a government research grant, one teaspoon of wasabi, a pair of cargo shorts from Eddie Bauer, the letter “R”, (“G” can suck it-look at us now buddy, maybe you’ll actually answer your emails in the future) a few bottles of Zantac (150-the extra strength kind), the love of a bi-polar woman, superior gas mileage and some second-hand pot smoke. We’re unbelievably lucky because if you were to combine all these things together at any other point in time you’d not only not get this particular result, you’d more than likely get arrested. I thank God every day that there was no God to interfere with the extraordinarily delicate process that brought this whole thing to fruition. TO THE GAME!

In your daily wanderings across the internubs you may have gleaned that the Falcons of Atlanta are dueling the Patriots of the New England. Based on my long history of watching football I know that each and every member of both teams are going to try their very best to win the game because there is a financial bonus attached to doing so. For some it might be 10k, for others it may be 5 mil-whatever the amount, all participants (including coaches) regard this as “free money” and will do their utmost to have that money dumped into their bank account. Some will secretly record practices, others will intentionally deflate footballs. It’s more than likely that a certain unnamed squad is violating the spirit of a specific rule as I type. I’ve always felt that you are the sum of your actions and not what your guttural one- and two- and three-word responses in press conferences imply.

Okay. Now you know who I’m cheering for. Big whoop. Now it’s time for you folks to chime in. Tell us goobers what you’re up to. What are you cooking? Where are you watching the game? Hey lurker, say hello and let us know that you like what we’re doing and how we might make things better. We’re all ears-except for me, I’m all coccyx. Yeah, that’s right-I’ve got a big coccyx. If you lurk and have a medical degree…please, this condition is not pleasant AT ALL.

Enjoy the game people.

 

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Romonobyl

And it begins…

WCS

It begins..

Old School Zero

Fuckin A Right, yeesh.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Gronk: Why scoreboard wrong? Me need drinky-drinky. Oooh….cheerleaders! GRONK WANT!

Senor Weaselo

Gronk only pawn in game of life.

...

Big dumb sex idiot.

entropy

Kind of a weak call.

Old School Zero

That “hold” had no impact on that play.

Wakezilla

Holding on D? And so it begins. . .

Senor Weaselo

Defensive holding? It begins…

Shogun Marcus

I was being kind the last two outings Joe…you don’t want me to do a third. Now shush.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Pssst….her right boob looks just like Lincoln, dude.

Romonobyl

That’s obviously a post Ford Theater picture of Lincoln there.

JustStopDude

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So these folks are able to afford a half time show…how the fuck does that work?

Shogun Marcus

All that ram and jeep money.

the Alpha and the Amoeba

Most of the people who aren’t headliners in the halftime show aren’t paid

...

It’s a shame that nine out of ten Trump supporters don’t know who Margaret Atwood is because they’d be SO TRIGGERED by her.

Old School Zero

I THOUGHT DA SUPERB OWL WUZ MAH SAFE SPACE

the Alpha and the Amoeba

Really? I think that hearing about her would just reinforce their negative beliefs about the average liberal

...

Everything about liberals would reinforce their negative image of liberals.

Doktor Zymm

MOAR LIBRUL FAKE NEWS

Mother Puncher

I’m happy for Nolan’s success, but fuck fox to confining her to the “cute twitter girl” corner

...

Yeah, it’s perplexing they push attractive women in the sideline reporter role but keep her out of sight.

(Actually it’s not perplexing at all.)

herodotus450

Probably just waiting for dental surgery prices to come down
/Only makes me love her more
//She’s actually much more famous than I ever thought, but still seems prettly cool
///Probably has a boyfriend so it doesn’t matter
////Would totally legally change my name to “Tom Brady” for her

Senor Weaselo

Please kindly shut the fuck up, Joe Buck.
Love,
Everyone

Recovery Whiskey

Is it time for the refs to
Keep themgame close?

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Well the onions have been bourboned, and so have I. My work here is done.

/Couch

herodotus450

Let them eat onions
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Spur

I like how Febreeze’s target market is clearly fat people

the Alpha and the Amoeba

Hey, when you have that many crevices, it’s hard to wash all of them.

Dunstan

The Handmaid’s Tale, a.k.a. Mike Pence’s fantasy

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Banner material.

...

Mother…

laserguru

The Bros have a Falcons 4 Pats 7 as a square. Now they’re rooting for New England.

...

Former Bears sighting! And he was about as helpful as you’d expect a former Bear to be.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
JustStopDude

I fucking love that the NFL is still okay with that play, which I would say significantly raises the risk of injury on the play…just to stop a fucking extra point.

WCS

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the Alpha and the Amoeba

Just a reminder, never count out Touchdown Tom

Old School Zero
Dunstan

Ok, I’m at least a little aroused now.

Recovery Whiskey

Eat shit Bellichik

laserguru

Woooo

makeitsnowondem

this owns

Senor Weaselo

Last game of jumping over the line!

Doktor Zymm

I hope this isn’t all just a setup to a late Patriots comeback win

Recovery Whiskey

Hopeful Quinn learned his lesson the last time in XLIX

ThursdaySkyGoddess

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entropy

FUCK YEAH

Col. Duke LaCross

OhMyGodILoveThisGameSoMuch!!

...

Touchdown… Falcons?

Senor Weaselo

Woo!

ThursdaySkyGoddess

YEAAAAAAAAHHHHHH

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Spur

Fuck them to death Falcons!!!

Old School Zero

YASSSSSSSSSSS

herodotus450

My half time show will just be this video on continuous loop
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=azdwsXLmrHE
Wears LORD Gaga, bytw!? Triggeregd!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
the Alpha and the Amoeba

Do Khaki Board Shorts count as pants?

herodotus450

Pictured: Leather Sofa, not original color.

makeitsnowondem

I’ve obtained the Falcons offensive gameplan, and it’s a napkin with “julio and devonta do whatevr the fuc they wan’t” scrawled on it.

Wakezilla

Good catch. Also, sup Falcons cheerleader that clearly doesn’t eat any bloating foods. You the true hero

blackroseMD1

Julio Jones has to be a robot.

Doktor Zymm

Hyundai is actually filming their commercial in the stadium during the game and it’ll air right after

entropy

If we’re lucky it’s sixty seconds of Brady crying.

ThePirateSloth

Hey guys, ‘member when everyone thought Lady Gaga was a man?

Doktor Zymm

I remember the Halloween where all the drag queens in my neighborhood went as Lady Gaga

Mother Puncher

Same with Ciara

tomsellecksmoustache

Who could have predicted that getting the ball to Julio would get the offense moving?

JustStopDude

Has there been any single person that was cut from the Cleveland Brown’s organization and didn’t see their life dramatically improve?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Johnny Manziel

JustStopDude

If you noticed, his arrests have gone down since playing for the Browns….

Redshirt

City of Cleveland

...

My rage is tapped out since the Patriots are trailing so expect a surge later when a few favorable calls get the Pats back in this game.

herodotus450

I’m going to eat so many mozzarella sticks at half time that I’m preemptively switching to sweat pants now.

herodotus450

I guess the “now” is redundant if i use a form of “preemptive”

Old School Zero

Pants? PANTS?!?!

herodotus450

It’s like 25 degrees here.
/Wouldn’t actually know the temperature, haven’t gone outside in 3 days.

Redshirt

Damn you, Bradshaw. That’s a good Brick Joke.

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