As Barry Manilow would caterwaul, “Looks like we made it” to our second Super Bowl as a bunch of kid-like creatures that exist under the DFO banner. Well done everyone! [waits for ecstatic applause to die down] It just goes to show you what can be done with a wee bit of moxie, three cadavers, an empty garage, a government research grant, one teaspoon of wasabi, a pair of cargo shorts from Eddie Bauer, the letter “R”, (“G” can suck it-look at us now buddy, maybe you’ll actually answer your emails in the future) a few bottles of Zantac (150-the extra strength kind), the love of a bi-polar woman, superior gas mileage and some second-hand pot smoke. We’re unbelievably lucky because if you were to combine all these things together at any other point in time you’d not only not get this particular result, you’d more than likely get arrested. I thank God every day that there was no God to interfere with the extraordinarily delicate process that brought this whole thing to fruition. TO THE GAME!
In your daily wanderings across the internubs you may have gleaned that the Falcons of Atlanta are dueling the Patriots of the New England. Based on my long history of watching football I know that each and every member of both teams are going to try their very best to win the game because there is a financial bonus attached to doing so. For some it might be 10k, for others it may be 5 mil-whatever the amount, all participants (including coaches) regard this as “free money” and will do their utmost to have that money dumped into their bank account. Some will secretly record practices, others will intentionally deflate footballs. It’s more than likely that a certain unnamed squad is violating the spirit of a specific rule as I type. I’ve always felt that you are the sum of your actions and not what your guttural one- and two- and three-word responses in press conferences imply.
Okay. Now you know who I’m cheering for. Big whoop. Now it’s time for you folks to chime in. Tell us goobers what you’re up to. What are you cooking? Where are you watching the game? Hey lurker, say hello and let us know that you like what we’re doing and how we might make things better. We’re all ears-except for me, I’m all coccyx. Yeah, that’s right-I’ve got a big coccyx. If you lurk and have a medical degree…please, this condition is not pleasant AT ALL.
Enjoy the game people.
Alt hafl time show
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GI6CfKcMhjY
dying rn
https://twitter.com/netw3rk/status/828409182470754304
While searching for the puppy bowl….apparently there is a show called “Puppy Pooping in the House”
Is it me, or has reality TV just gotten lazy?
Fifty bucks says there’s someone named Hans involved in this venture.
Alright, I’m honoring a 20 game streak of skipping the Halftime show (Blues Brothers 2.0 ruined it for me).
Let me know if Lady Gaga starts fucking a live shark on stage or something.
https://youtu.be/DktoTgl0AZk
C’mon Gaga, do something awesome like have black guys whipping white guys, or, I dunno, getting raiked by 7 guys from the countries on the naughty list
Just take a knee during the entire show.
*Railed
Spur is making a drink
Now for halftime tradition of washing dishes.
Can you even buy an Alfa Romeo here in the states?
Do they even make cars with the wheel on the rigth (left) side?
Yup, there aren’t that many dealerships tho
Pulling for Brady to move up to #2 all time in SB losses.
So, maybe this was a good omen?
http://static.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/80-falcons-on-plane-saudi-prince-fb__700-png.jpg
I have been on a plane like this to the middle east.
Its unreal how rich the royal families are over there. Also how fucking insanely inbred they are.
Imagine if a trailer park in Alabama suddenly discovered they were sitting on billions worth of crude.
A lot of the middle east carriers have a specific hawk policy. I actually like hawks, but I gotta think that flight reeks.
Halftime confession….
I think Lady Gaga is one of the most talented singers in the US. I can’t stand her music, but if you ever hear perform on just a piano, she is clearly talented.
I just don’t get the whole “Gaga” thing at all.
Evidently, she liked that stupid Queen song. No, really.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pi7gwX7rjOw
I agree, she’s clearly talented, she just plays shitty music.
Brady looks like he’s going full Manning forehead:
Looking at the score, the refs are going to have to engage in some serious shenanigans to get the Pats back in the game.
😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀
brb batin’
http://img.pandawhale.com/post-58290-stop-my-penis-can-only-get-so-awjF.gif
I just went outside and looked North…. seems to be a large red glow coming from the Boston area.
MVP of the first half: whiskey
Boo no show Shan’khor
ALL OF MY BRADY RANTING HAS THUS FAR BEEN REWARDED!
Bennett with a Chicago Bears play right there
Bennett with the Cowboys play right there
I know I’m late on this but I want to welcome guest coach Andy Reid to the Super Bowl.
If Brady were to get benched… DFO might implode from simultaneous orgasms.
(giggle)
Who you guys got in the puppy bowl this year?
Spot.
ALL THE PUPPIES ARE WINNERS
12/10. Dog is good.
I heard Mike Vick retired so, the field’s wide open.
The usual bitch.
They’re good dogs, Bront
Brady’s throwing like first half Eli
Hogan will be the next player shipped to Cleveland for daring to show disappointment in Dreamboat.
I must have accidentally sat on the remote and switched to espn classic, because someone just said Dwigth Freeney is in this game?
/Doesn’t have cable, nor a method of watching this g ame that involves a remote.
Methinks Tommy Terrific will be needing a replacement fleshlight in the morning.
You figure Joe Buck will be tired?
Nuh uh. Trump’s buddy doesn’t get to have hope. Hope is an Obama word.
“Julian needs to catch that ball!” -Giselle
Angry John Malcovich is the best Malcovich.
http://media1.giphy.com/media/GQWSZHmRrK25y/giphy.gif
Cajun Style!
True, but he’s no Kingsley in Sexy Beast
God that film is fucking brilliant. Any other actor, the entire film just doesn’t work at all. He is so fucking intense. Its almost painful to watch the other actors try and deal with his shit.
Almost halftime. Thanks for everything, ears.
http://mrwgifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/Cute-News-Host-Katie-Nolan-Stuck-In-a-Sad-High-Five-Cringe-Position.gif
Yes. Yes.
They’re down by 21, Joe. Settle the fuck down.
So I’ve only watched the first 3 Fast and Furious movies, so I’m rather surprised that they’re doing a crossover with GI Joe.
I’ve only watched the last three. We should hang out and/or star in a web-sitcom.
Hmm, so I’m envisioning a live-streamed event where we marathon all the movies and play a drinking game.
YES HIT BRADY MORE.
MORE MORE MORE MOAR MORE MOAR.
https://media.tenor.co/images/da839cc067f5cd9c862e3d85ac4e9d84/raw
With a rebel yell?
Hollywood won’t stop until there are more Fast and Furious movies than Friday the 13th’s.
In all fairness to Vin Diesel in the new Fast and Furious, I would kill someone’s mother for a night with Charlize Theron.
For a night with, you mean some meaningful conversation or fucking?
So, we’ve gone from stupid street-race movies to stupid superhero movies with cars. OK.
There should be a rule against advertising movies during the Super Bowl. They’re shitty commercials since they’re all just clips from shitty movies.
Fast and/or Furious: Another One
Slow and Apathetic: I Need a Nap
A live look at Katie
http://cdn.rsvlts.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/Katie-Nolan-GIF-013.gif
I’ll be right there, Katie.
WOO! ATLANTA! WOOOOOOOOO!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GAN_O9xRkf4
I can’t say I want them to win, but I’ll always have a soft spot for the Patriots because of how they put the fucking Seahawks in their place 2 years ago
In other news, fuck you.
A simple solution to the despair of seeing your team settle inexorably back towards mediocrity would be to start rooting for a classier team…so basically any of the other 31 teams, including the Cowboys or Steelers.
Again, fuck you. And also what Dunstan said.
Aww, I’m sorry, I’m sure that with the careful guidance of a 9/11 truther, they’ll be fine.
“Jet fuel can’t melt fan’s dreams”
I have no idea who you fucking are, but just fuck right off. Seriously.
I’m sorry. Seriously. It’s been a bad week for me and I went too far.
You do realize that team you and I enjoy are about due for that very same slide? Overdue. Also don’t be that fan that is used as the example of why a team fan base sucks. Fake class is worse than no class.
OK, I’ll do better
I don’t know what you mean about fake class, tho, I really do hate those Seattle fuckers
Ahem. Fuck you.
That was bullshit.
YOU GO TO HELL! YOU GO TO HELL AND YOU DIE!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=48H34ukFe8g
I can’t wait for Gisele’s tweet about how her husband can’t block, throw and chase down his mistakes.
Is that what they call their kids now?
That’s what they call Bridget’s.
MAKE ATLANTA GREAT AGAIN!!!!
#MAGA
So glad to see the Falcons realize that they need to force turnovers cause the refs are going to fuck them every chance they get.
http://68.media.tumblr.com/e4bacefe916a4235dc1800866d5adccf/tumblr_n5d0yjzNFR1qzjw8go1_540.jpg
I see the Trump fans have started counter-protesting
Can we get to the Stranger Things Season 2 trailer now?
Are we supposed to flag porn, because this is porn.
I need a livestream of Boston right now!
Same. Doesn’t matter where in Boston. Anywhere.
I am watching on Fox Boston. Much handwringing.