Hi, tonight is the night I am stepping in for BeerguyDan who is just back from Chile trying to sell stolen phones or something along those lines. This would be my virgin Open Thread blog and there is very little sportsing going on so I will just ramble then go off on a tangent.
Thursday, during football season I am a football lowlife, I do not care if Jacksonville plays the Sacramento Goldminers led by David Archer, I am watching, and I am drinking wine. In the summer it is whites on the balcony but that is with no football which may make me a wino. There is the CFL but I pay more attention to Aussie rules and I usually watch the replays in the morning so I abstain from downing a bottle at 7 am. In the winter it is go time and drink big reds as it is freezing here. The wine always turns out to be the best part of Jets v Factory or the inevitable dropped pass by the Eagles receiving corps. BUT NOT THIS YEAR FRIENDS!
I bartend part time because I love the business. I have done so for money in 4 countries and have stepped behind the bar to help out a busy place in 7, once was at Oktoberfest that was amazing. I love the industry but right now once a week is fine to deal with fuckwits and young staff who do the stupidest things (shakes fist on lawn). It is a fantastic part time gig if you have it in you. The things I love about being behind the bar are being social, making good drinks that people appreciate, having a night out with actually making money but most of all I love wine. By working one night a week you are still in touch with the wine industry and you get to see trends as well as go to industry tastings which are way different than those for the public. Vinexpo is a wine persons heaven and the time I attended I wandered around on the final day and filled 3 cases of random wines as I told the reps I was going to “educate my staff”. I had to take a train back to Scotland as that much wine is very expensive to transport by air.
Right now the current trend is that Malbec is a housewife varietal as it is imported cheaply and has a lot of residual sugar. That being said the good ones out there usually from Mendoza however the North American market has been flooded in the past years so they are all lowering their prices to compete. If you do enjoy Malbecs make sure that it says Mendoza on the label or else it could be grapes from Joaquin’s backyard. Kinda like cheap Naked Grape. Where in California is it from????
I do have to say to those commentists that live in Oregon I am very envious as your state makes unbelievable wines. Even the cheapest Pinot Noir from there is worth the money. Second trend which has been going on for a while is Pinot Grigio and cougars. I know that eighty percent of the time when a stagette or large group of women come in to the restaurant that it will either be an absolute crazy order with cocktails that I haven’t made in 10 years or a whole mess of over priced Pinot Grigio that tastes like toilet water.
Restaurants do this on purpose, never order the cheapest wine on the list, always order the 2nd or 3rd cheapest if you are not particular to the varietal. The cheapest glass pour is the money maker for the place and usually the 2nd cheapest is something they have dropped the price on in order to try to get rid of it. Third trend is not new, it has been going on for longer than me. If you are ordering a martini do not use special hooch if you are going to have it extra dirty, the olive brine kills the taste and you look like a tool, not James bond. If you want a twist that is fantastic with good vodka as it doesn’t change the taste too much
Things to drink now if you can find them, Gruner Veltiner from Austria. It is warm out everywhere, Austria’s wines are not overpriced yet and they are great on a summer evening as they aren’t overly fruity and you do not feel like you have been sucking on an oak tree like some Chardonnays. 
I drink dry Rose in the summer, I drink a lot of it as it is hearty enough at room temperature to be like a red, or when cold they are fantastic. I am not talking about White Zinfandel, do not drink that, it is just the worst. Little known fact that White Zinfandel was a mistake by Sutter Homes winery and it was a barrel left in the barn and when opened the result was so sweet and sugary that teenagers and geriatrics in retirement-land Phoenix would swoon.
After the boom that was going on during the Sideways film the fervoUr for Merlot has died down so a Merlot from the Columbia Valley in Washington is a great price and that’s what that region is known for. A wise man told me once that the more about wine the less you know. I think this holds true in most things.
Sportsing: NOT A WHOLE HELL OF A LOT
CFL : Argonauts v Blue Bombers TSN 6pm DFO time, ESPN thinks that there are way too many live events to cover.
There seems to be SEC football media days on the SEC channel if you are so inclined.
The NFL will be back soon and that is where we really shine.
- Teddy Bridgewater is practising again sans-knee brace. That was a horrible injury and even in my black heart I feel for the guy.
- AP wants to redefine himself this year. Sooo not a child abuser?
- How much did moving cost La Chargeres and RAMIT? Right here.
- I read this, it was interesting but I am still glad Greg Hardy hasn’t gotten a shot, both in the US and in Canadia. David Ash seems like he really shouldn’t have started playing again. File that under bad idea jeans. This guys still have hope for their dream which is admirable. To those that pissed theirs away, I have more on them later.
Recently we spoke at the clubhouse about it getting damn near to fantasy football season plus brothe in law cola stated that it has been quite quiet this offseason in the arrest category so I have compiled a crimebeat team of failed potential!
QB Todd Marinovich who is making a comeback people!
QB Ryan Leaf or Jamarcus Russell due to our love at DFO for the drank.
RB1 Maurice Clarett who has turned his life around which is great.
RB2 Joseph Randle because really, that many arrests?
WR1 Rae Carruth as he truly is a scumbag.
WR2 Donte Stallworth Grade A asshole. Can you believe Plaxico got more jail time than this guy?
TE1 Mark Chmura because when you can have all the ‘of age’ women why wouldn’t you want to hot tub up with the babysitter. Aaron Hernandez is dead so he cannot be on this list.
Have a great evening, thanks for bearing with me and next week you will be back to your regularly scheduled programming with BeerguyLuke.
Great stuff! I too enjoy a decent glass of vino on occasion, couldn’t agree more that the season definitely can make a difference as far as red vs white. I had no idea about the story behind white zin, way too sweet for me anyway and it’s almost as efficient a hangover fuel as champagne.
The taproom at my favorite local microbrew I’m always talking about also serves Texas varietals, much to the delight if The Dame as she loves wine even more than me. One time we were there she got a glass of Merlot from some winery in the Hill Country (west of San Antonio). Can’t remember the name, but it was really earthy and just plain pleasant to drink, far better than the mass-produced grocery store bilge drippings.
Thanks for the education, learnding can be fun!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CdhqVtpR2ts
Television camera, 1936 Berlin Olympics
I’m so glad they had those big ass cameras to make sure everyone saw this.
Evening lizard people. Here are a list of people who suck. This is a very abridged list and does not include everyone that it should. You know, like everyone.
1. The person in front of me on the escalator at Herald Square that led me to miss a train.
2. The bus driver who didn’t wait for people to get off the train before driving off (although the way it loops I still caught the bus).
3. The guy who had to stand in front of the bus and take two more drags of his cig before getting on the bus.
And of course…
4. The woman who was texting and driving and crashed into Madre Weaselo’s (parked) car this morning and managed to moving 10 feet forward and 3 feet onto the sidewalk before rolling her own car over. That’s how we all woke up, to the sounds of crashing, a rolled over car, and the realization of “Oh fuck one of ours got hit.”
And how were your days?
Well I didn’t have to take public transportation, although I did have to take one of the cars into the shop.
So a B+.
Get to the table, Ayo. It’ s not as if I can write ANOTHER libelous acct of your love life at this point.
THAT’S GOOD HUSTLE
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU………………..
CK.
I’m gonna go read in bed for about 15 minutes, then go to sleep, then wake up at 5 when my fake sunrise comes on, then glare at the clock for a bit, then probably cancel my gym class at 6:15, go back to bed for a bit, put on my Pacman dress, put together a rush job on a presentation I have to give at 10 am but haven’t started yet, go out to get Thai food for lunch with my awesome coworker whose last day is tomorrow, have a couple of meetings or some shit, go to happy hour with my old boss, play tennis if it isn’t raining, then go to bed again. So…good night and great tomorrow y’all!
Wait a minute, wait a minute… is this a real thing?
…You have a Pacman dress?
Don’t you?
We accept the sundresses as not 9 months a year, for women 3. I was at a party with him in WI. Jerry ignored the bottles of beers that are shitty from here 6 months and went for the cheese curds instead. He deserved the win
/really sorry if that joke bugs you, i would like to meet you eventually
Do those fake sunrises actually work? Or is there still an audible alarm to do the hard work?
Have a great day. Remember to accessorize!
He’s fiiiinnneeee……
That’s a Coast Guard rescue boat doing training.
Huh, I thought Adam Smith’s hand was invisible.
So…do these greenhouse things make Amazon like the spherical Louvre?
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http://static2.businessinsider.com/image/58e5159677bb70b0078b66a7/amazon-is-taking-over-seattle-and-residents-are-calling-it-amageddon.jpg
Not defeated, just eated
So, is the CN tower a rip off of the Space Needle, or the other way around?
Le Tour CN is a blatant ripoff of the Space Needle. The idea was stolen and smuggled across the border somewhere in rural Alberta and taken to Toronto during that city’s desperate phase of trying to be “the Seattle of Lake Ontario” and they just weren’t fooling anyone and eventually they took up disco dancing and the lifestyle associated with all of that.
source: internet
How i fully expect my fantasy seasons to go:
Something that starts out as fake but ends up causing an immense amount of pain and frustration?
there’s a sex joke in there somewhere
The clue was: Masturbation after 45
What’s even the goal there?
To not lose another stack of fake moneh to tWBS.
It’s not going well so far.
Did you swipe right?
Fun fact, Pinot Gris != Pinot Grigio
Or Pinot Gris Pinot Grigio if you’re gonna go all SQL on it
Damn you HTML and the fact that you have to escape carats to put them in a comment!
Same grape different style of winemaking. Like syrah and shiraz
hehe
http://s3.amazonaws.com/c.h.u.m./wp-content/uploads/the-hound-im-a-big-fucker.gif
Tried wine during the last 2 superbowls.
it was cheap and shitty. I expected it to taste sweeter. I literally expected alcoholic grape juice. I was sheltered growing up.
So…you can just mix cheap vodka and grape juice. Or HI-C!
too much effort
I think our old buddy PFTC can help you with your expectations.
The Nails o’ Nine Inches dropped a new song today. New EP is out next Friday.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gDV-dOvqKzQ
So…she’s about to be rained on. Do I warn her?
Argue that Lemmy was never smart. Once your brows and brain return…you’re still dead.
Y’all need a lobotomy. Provided by my personal saint Lemmy.
Twitter has rotted my brain. I mostly just think in memes now. I was muttering about the Sheriff of Suckin U Off for about three days. (He’s gonna suck you off!)
I need a vacation. Or a lobotomy.
Wait. Are there vacation resorts where they do lobotomies?
Many resorts have an ice pick handy
You could maybe bunk up with this guy.
But I don’t want brain parts mailed anywhere. I want to keep it in a little jar.
Well if you’re gonna go getting picky about your dismemberment then I guess you’ll just have to make your own arrangements.
Or…ya know
Today was a long, quite interesting, but ultimately exhausting day, so despite the fact that I have another busy day with an early start tomorrow, I’m gonna sit up drinking with y’all for a bit. I’m actually kinda glad to be proven wrong about my “I’m not motivated cause there’s no more real goals in life except retiring as early as possible and people probably just have kids so they can experience the thrill of potential for the future vicariously” life view. Also super psyched about maybe moving out of Chicago soon.
Cheers Dok. Good on ya. Don’t know anyone who deserves it more.
I was a hipster middle school girl. I totally dug vampires and Leonardo DiCaprio before it was cool. (From Interview with a Vampire and Quick and the Dead respectively) (Second paren, Anne Rice is a super dirty writer)
Well OK.
This went odd, but interesting. But still, good for you….?
Interview was fucking fantastic. The shitshow that they followed it up with… not so much.
Agreed.
I also recently had occasion to re-watch Quick and the Dead. Also worth the re-watch time.
I haven’t seen that since it came out. Might have to give it a try.
It’s Sam Raimi, got that mix of cheesy and drama and camera work that’s just amazeballs
No you didn’t. And I woulda fingered you to death. We’d die in unsatisfactory bliss Miss.
Dude, did you miss a dose or two?
Right now if my mom is she who I hold dear…she’s desecrating each and everyone’s corpse. She loves you all.
Oh crap….
DO WE HAVE TO YELL AGAIN????
SO MUCH LOVE FOR THIS POST (she says as she cracks open a nice, affordable, summery rose)
Fun fact : The reason I know about Gruner Veltliner is because of a shredded brussel sprout/sunchoke salad recipe I found online, which recommended it as a pairing. I made the salad, and they have the wine at the whole foods across the street from me, so BOOM, dinner is served!
The good ol’ brassica family
That looks like the Jolly Green Giant with an STD.
Kalemydia? Shot in the ass and no V8 for two weeks.
Oh snap, I’m stealing Kalemydia
Glad my awful wordplay could be of service.
Seasons…in the abyss..
https://youtube.com/watch?v=DECp8LKurKs
Jesus Christ this post was awesoume. +?
Happy update from Monday: The x-ray showed Lil Wakezilla does not have a fracture, thank the football gods.
All in all, we waited 3.5 hours and spent in total, 24 bucks in food and parking. Not too shabby.
Put a zero on the end of that sum and it sounds like when I go to Camden Yards.
/mostly beer
//big shock, I know
Happy to hear she’s doing well.
Now email so I can tell you when you need to have your damned ‘Phins preview ready. (relax, you got a while)
[email protected]
Dude…I looked into seeing a Blue Jays game while I was here…holy shit…that fucking team is expensive as fuck to see in person.
I can imagine. The abortion that is the Roger’s Centre ain’t gonna overpay for itself.
You mean….they overcharge for beer at sports venues?! SHOCK!
How much at the beers at Camden? I was paying $14 for a craft brew in Cincinnati of all places.
Haven’t been up there yet this season, but it was double digits last yr for sure.
But Miller Lite was 8 buxx.
LOL
While you were waiting, we stole your car.
Artist’s conception:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ygzc9wONU0M&ab_channel=nachonacho
That’s great! Don’t you wish we were made of as tough a stuff as our kids?
“Dear Penthouse, I can’t believe I’m writing to you, but today I got my first crocblow…”
You know those things when you know it won’t work out, but still the sex was REALLY good?
Walmart Automotive never balances the tires correctly.
//Pictures tWBS pulling up in front of his date’s house in the ’94 Dodge minivan with the primer door and busted right rear shock.
Hey, if it’s good enough for my sister….
/doesn’t really have a sister
Well done.
Last night in Canada. Dear lord this training trip has been brutal. Between my hotel turning into a 3rd world shit hole and me getting sicker and sicker…I just want to go home.
I seriously…I cannot talk at all right now.
Speaking of fucking messes…why the fuck is Todd Marinovich even considering playing football again?!? I don’t know what it is about him, but I’ve always kind of pulled for him. I think because his dad was/is fucking insane and it was clearly obvious, almost immediately from his college days, that the guy has severe mental health issues that everyone fucking ignored because he was good at football.
Duh. He needs money for drugs.
And clothes.
How long until the NFL gets ads on their jerseys like the CFL and now NBA?
Honestly…it will take forever…and then all at once, you won’t be able to see a fucking emblem of the team.
“Oh you don’t like the name ‘[*Redacted] s’? Ok, I’ll change it. To the Washington GoDaddy BudLights. For 100 Billion dollars. Hahaha-”
Dan Snyder wakes up, pants sticky. Looks longingly at picture of (insert aging overrated free-agent-to-be here).
Sponsored by DraftKings
The glorious Blue Bombers just returned the opening kickoff for a td. Stupid ESPN news isnt showing it in the US.
The Trump administration’s argument that it wasn’t collusion because they got nothing out of the Russians (even though there is no reason to actually believe that assertion) is like trying to claim you weren’t soliciting prostitution cause that undercover cop wasn’t a REAL prostitute.
No secrets? What’s the going rate to get pissed on. Asking, not asking.
https://imgflip.com/i/7iblr
Or that you didn’t actually have sex.
ATTEMPTED Collusion?! Honestly; do they give out a Nobel Prize for Attempted Chemistry?
Attempted murder; too stupid to actually kill someone.
Yeah, those Romans at the inaugural Good Friday were a buncha numbskulls.
“Volbeat? Danish crap?” Who gives a shit? Bring us the drums. I get the lemmy is dead, but really? Oh my mother i love you
Mama Shogun fooled me. Unwittingly. Turns out she damn near broke her arm, giving me much panic. So Quicksand it is. Landmine springs, etc. But prior, she says “Shogun…I’ve done perhaps fucked it all!” Yes. Most Likely. But Mama, we WILL see this through.
Thanks Litre for the wine/alcohol talk. I’m trying to move from “Raiders fan level” to “Chiefs fan level” vis-a-vis wine knowledge, so every bit helps. Also have noticed the quality from both Oregon and Washington is really giving California a run for its money, especially in the less-bold varietals. If you had to pick one area for Chardonnay, is it Russian River or maybe somewhere in Washington?
Gonna submit this comment, but I honestly wanna punch myself in the face.
Dependant on the season for California it is a crap shoot. The Russian River is fantastic for Chardonnay and Zinfandel. Due to Oregon’s latitude and climate they make Pinot Noir and Chard very well. It is warmer inland (not Puget Sound) in Washington so they make heartier skinned grapes better due to their ability to put up with a range of weather. Feel free to ask anything, here or DM me.
Thank you!! Good stuff, and as I think of more learneding things to ask, I’ll hit you up. I’m currently having a “Coors Light” vintage unknown.
So You’ve Got Something To Die For…not bad! Randy could be husband the 5th! He is CUTE! Mom. Stop. This is a talk I REALLY DON’T WANT.
If ever asked by 2 Catholic nuns “Who is the physical representation of righteousness on the Earth?” FOR THE LOVE OF ALL DO NOT BLANK AND SAY “AWESOME LATINO POPE!”
…you likely won’t be hired…just saying.
I’m fine. Now. At the time it was inexplicable.
If this isn’t a banner, much less a shirt, we’ve got skewed views of reality.
/hits bong
Today the President of the United States of America insisted that he was serious about the border wall being “solar” so it could generate electricity. He also insisted that it needed to be transparent.
I think the actual genius in this wall plan is that the Mexicans would instantly steal all the south-facing solar panels (which would be ALL of them, because solar panels must face south to work in the northern hemisphere, and as it happens solar panels are quite valuable) thus validating all the conservative stereotypes about them.
Actually, what they would do is splice the wires and connect them to the Mexican electrical grid. Yeah, the panels would generate power…for Mexico!
Great, now I’m picturing the slow mouse from Speedy Gonzales saying “no, señor, your solar panels no work so good…”
Slow Poke Rodriguez!
¡Lento Rodríguez! ?
We have a Slowpoke Rodriguez reference so I think we can all go home early. That’s how it works, right?
Honestly I want to see this because at this point we might as well enjoy the limited time before all of the ancient diseases frozen in the Arctic are revived to kill us all.
JESUS FUCK…MAMA SHOGUN CONNED ME UNWITTINGLY. SHE IS ABOUT TO HAVE (Front row assholes!) LAMB OF GOD, AND LATER…SSSSSLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYEEEEEERRRRR!
I thought it was just oldies…mama, your power of attorney resides with ME!
That is one of the coolest goddamn things I’ve ever heard of.
Mama has done pissed me off. Now she does this. Lamb of God, I’m upset. Slayer, well you will ask me all the questions. Fair Play. But tomorrow comes Clutch. Momma…watch. the. drummer. Wanna Get Me? You Watch JP.
She lied, make her go to the mosh pit
/ I in no way agree with what I just said. He should be punished.
// Also the comments are also working now. Thanks.
/// Never was a huge Slayer fan so if you are looking to sell off tickets to a local person you are out of luck. I mean I like them for like a few songs.
Am I the only one who has no clue what’s going on here?
(And yeah, that’s a very likely scenario)