Your “Classic Nordberg” Thursday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

Beerguyrob

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Beerguyrob

NFL News:

  • Given their history as a dumpster fire, it’s perhaps not surprising that the Browns’ stadium is clapped with the same material as the Grenfell Tower fire.
    • not from the initial construction, but from the refit in 2014.

  

  • FOX has a sense of irony, as they have assigned Jay Cutler to cover the Bears’ Week-1 game versus the Falcons.
  • Former Bills WR James Hardy has had his death ruled a suicide.
  • Different day – different Cowboys domestic violence charge: Jourdan Lewis had a pre-trial hearing for a case involving him holding an ex-girlfriend to the floor by her throat.
    • His lawyer is pushing for a one-day jury trial next week, so Lewis won’t miss any camp.
    • As for the team: “Cowboys owner Jerry Jones told reporters that the organization investigated Lewis’ situation thoroughly and were satisfied with his track record of character off the field.”
  • Wes Welker says he’s unconcerned about the long-term impact of all his concussions, and just wants people to remember him as the best point guard the Celtics ever had.

Finally, OJ’s parole hearing was today. It lasted 75 minutes (based on TSN’s coverage) before they broke for deliberations.

  • I enjoyed how the guy who was robbed said “Yes, OJ was there, but he didn’t hit me, and he didn’t pull the gun on me. He was, like, just there.”

I went to lunch before the verdict was announced, and was planning on seeing a movie afterwards. Don’t sue me if I haven’t updated the post; this falls under “I’ve got better shit to do”. And they let him go, effective October. I say we all chip in & get him a new car, so he can drive out of prison. I took the liberty of finding him something he’s used to:

I figured we should spring for the rollover protection, since he’ll have to avoid the Goldman’s & TMZ every time he gets on the highway. Plus, it’s got the fat tires for driving through the Florida swamps in escape search of the real killers.


Tonight’s sports:

  • CFL:
    • Thursday Night Football Presented by The Brick
      • Edmonton Eskimos vs. Hamilton Tiger-Cats – 7:30PM
  • MLB:
    • Rangers at Orioles – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
    • Yankees at Mariners – 10:00PM | Sportsnet360
  •  Futbol:
    • CONCACAF Copa Oro 2017:
      • Jamaica vs. Canadá – 7:00PM | UNI / FS1 / TSN
      • México vs. Honduras – 10:00PM | UNI / FS1
    • International Champions Cup Soccer:
      • Manchester United vs. Manchester City – 10:00PM | ESPN
  • World Series of Poker:
    • 2017 Final Table Part 1 – 9:00PM | ESPN2 / TSN2

If you have to find OJ analysis, TripAdvisor has you covered with Nordberg’s “best of”, and YouTube is always at the ready with the best clips.

Beerguyrob
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

…and that Kasowitz taking a back seat now too.

http://www.cnn.com/2017/07/20/politics/trump-corallo-resigns/index.html

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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WCS

FAEK NEWS LIBBTARDS #MAGA #TRUMPSMYPERSIDENT

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Those people should have to all be relocated to Texas and have them finally leave the fucking union.

Senor Weaselo

We all know it ends with Ty Cobb spiking Mueller during the first sidebar.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brocky

okay, i’m too lazy to look for the link, what’s the site where you can put any url into it, and it converts it so it’d be viewable on wordpress.

I ask because uploading to postimage and gfycat is way too tedious.

theeWeeBabySeamus

https everywhere.

But it’s less than reliable.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Don T

I hear ya. Those five seconds take forever.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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“Oh! I think I found my keys!”

King Hippo

if only there were a sub-genre devoted to this fetish…

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Wakezilla

Finding keys?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Come to find out that meme/ photoshop was born in the early 1960s with polka music.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Oh god why did I look at pftcommenter’s twitter feed? It makes me feel so damned inadequate.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

GOD DAMN IT!
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Brocky

WCS

Such a shame he’s wasting his talent at Barstool dot com.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

At least they have decent money to pay him with.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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WCS

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

This is my favorite moment from The Office, by far.

Brocky

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Wakezilla

I’ll take a stab at what Ojs new reality show will be like.

Ep 1 breaks into E!’s lineup and has OJ Hanging with his daughter doing dad stuff until the door bell rings and it’s mom Kardashian. Tensions are felt between daughter and manma K.

Ep 2 is a real killer because OJ tries to contact the his other kids who want nothing to do with him…until they paid in an emotional scene to end the show.

Ep3 Trumps it all when Donald goes golfing with juice in a peculiar crossover event. Special moment happens when Donald’s glove doesn’t fit. Must be gaining weight. OJ chuckles in a cut away scene. Show ends when Donald offers OJ a job as host of the Apprentice. While a funny episode, it’ll only be 10 minutes of content as Donald will keep letting classified info slip.

EP 4 shows OJ taking a real stab at contacting the Goldman family to apologize. Kris sets OJ up with a 35 year old blonde vixen who is gping to roxk OJs world and she doesn’t care what you think because she is not here to make any friends.

Then the show gets cancelled

Shogun Marcus

I’d poke holes in this, but it fits like a glove.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brocky
Brocky

Literally the only moment I liked John Mccain during his political career:

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theeWeeBabySeamus

So Cindy will be available soon, I hear….

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

OOOF, nice!

theeWeeBabySeamus

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

She’s a flapper, but not in the 1920s fashion sense.

Brocky

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I do what I can for those in need.

theeWeeBabySeamus

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

He learned not to be a damn libtard after his 2000 campaign.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Is the boarding ramp for a flight out of LaGuardia the wrong place to start a “Jeter swallows” chant?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo

It’s not timely. Now if it involved Aaron Judge…
/Couldn’t help you, I picked up a friend at JFK

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brocky
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’ve actually seen one of these signs in person.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Both are hinting at anal sex…..

Senor Weaselo

Extreme downhill wheelchairing? Sign me the fuck up! Wait…
/breaks legs
Now sign me the fuck up!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

This place is hoppin’ tonight. I like it.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brocky

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

How’d you know I feel like vomiting?

Fronkenshteen

Will Trump troll everyone and golf with OJ?

SonOfSpam

Honestly, I would respect that troll move. Then Sarin the whole course. But still.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

So excited to get on another plane shortly. Anyone want to pick me up at the Denver Airport around 1:30am? I’ll buy donuts.

Brocky

Maple Frosted?

BrettFavresColonoscopy
SonOfSpam

Just expense a limo to DFO. I mean, why else would we even have expense accounts???

Brocky
Brocky

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

“Too old.”

–Jerry Sandusky, Denny Hastert, et al

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

HERE WE GO!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Dude, did you seen Denny Hastert’s after prison photo? That place was NOT kind to him.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“WOULD BANG AGAIN!”

-Entirety of Cell Block 7.

Shogun Marcus

DID BANG!
Cell Block 6

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

OK, fixed it. Thank you.

Brocky

et al….

Donald Trump?

Shogun Marcus

Et all? Not yet.
-A. Reid

Wakezilla

Canada actually looks like it has a promising future for the first time in a decade or so. I can’t wait for the CSA to find out and do their bullshit politics to torpedo this as they are ones to do

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Young Martin wonders if he’s the only one who knows what “Around the World” really means.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Which one is Tracy?
/asking foar a friend

Shogun Marcus

Bowtie

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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If only Yeah Right was around in the 50s.

Brocky

All i have to say is…. I don’t remember changing my profile pic

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“Me either.”

-Trent Green

Brocky

Trent Green’s Daughter Mom…. he’s staring at the toaster again

Trent Green ….. how do I share this handsome devil on Instagram?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Blame Dreamhost.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

FUCK DITKA

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Jeff Sessions buys his first tree.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Fronkenshteen

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Nah, fuck this.”

Trump’s legal team spokesman

SonOfSpam

They had to find a Huckabee to get someone morally bankrupt enough to speak for him.

I mean, those people are televangelists and dog killers, the two worst things you can be.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Well we didn’t think that applied to US!”

– the Huckabee family, arriving at the pearly gates and being presented with full size camel and a sewing needle

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Thank God we don’t have to fit OURSELVES through it.”

– Huckabee’s oldest son.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

NICE!

SonOfSpam

Look, I can’t hate on him for being fat, because I am fat. But I can hate on him for being a dog killer. And for being a fat piece of shit.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

You don’t have to HATE him for being fat. You just have to make jokes about him being fat.

I mean, I have a lisp, you don’t see me pulling my punches on Mike Mayock, do you?

King Hippo

no THIR!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Look, I absent minded, but you don’t see me pu

SonOfSpam

“I get ”

– Trent Green

SonOfSpam

Oh THAT’S what that was. I just thought it was always humid around you.

King Hippo

HEE HAW, them awful selective “Biblical Literalists” and they’s “Prosperity Gospel”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I had a reply fail there, but your joke STILL STANDS.

The Sekulow family bring cynical corruption and theft to a whole new level.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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litre_cola

YOU GUYS ARE ALL BUSY POSING WHILE THE KRAUTS ARE BUSY WORKING. UNCLE BORIS IS COMING ACROSS THE HORIZON WHILE YOU ARE GETTING READY FOR YOUR DAMN PHOTO SHOOT!

SonOfSpam

Trump: “That’s why the Romanians lost World War Four.”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“Agreed.”

-Trent Green

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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*With her pussy.”

Don T

/dies
😂😂🤣

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Schrödinger high as fuck.

scotchnaut

Canada isn’t good at The Soccer.

/There! I said it

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Pamela’s first bong.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

So reportedly the Japanese prime minister’s wife pretended she didn’t speak English so she wouldn’t have to talk to Trump. It’s not quite the funniest thing ever, but it’d easily make the top 100 countdown.

herodotus450
herodotus450

Ohhhhhh, Trump-san,
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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The funniest thing ever, of course, being this:

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That was worth a rewatch; one of his funniest times.

herodotus450
herodotus450

So many questions. What are they microwaving in the background? Is it at a daycare? When were snl reruns on VH1?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

In all honesty, it’s one of the highest quality rips I’ve seen make it through youtube’s filters.

herodotus450
herodotus450

Lorne has to protect the shield; if you want snl you need to subscribe to yahoo! screen

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That was pretty funny; but I think Trump pretended she didn’t so he could do some more man love with Putin and have an excuse.

http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/world/trump-says-he-sat-with-putin-at-dinner-because-the-wife-of-japans-leader-doesnt-speak-english-but-she-does/ar-AAovMec?OCID=ansmsnnews11

Shogun Marcus

Said it elsewhere but Stone Temple Pilots are the worst, slowest serial killers ever.
/too soon?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Don’t know; I can’t get on the LinkedIn Park website as of today.

scotchnaut

No one remembers the movie “Jagged Edge” but I do because a girlfriend with a lot of musical talent and enormous breasts sang the Phil Collins tune associated with the movie to me… and then we had a tumble.

/thank you for your mild interest

theeWeeBabySeamus

I remember it.
But I like your associations better.

Jeff Bridges was better as The Dude, IMHO.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“Alright, ladies. I want a good clean fight. No rabbit punches. No hair pulling. No nipple twisting.”

herodotus450
herodotus450

So I guess all we have to do to get rid of Nick Saban is call him from an alleged prostitute’s phone?

ThursdaySkyGoddess
ThursdaySkyGoddess

What does it take to get rid of the Hooded Prick?

Shogun Marcus

Circumcision usually.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

TSG with the set…and JWASNM spikes it home.

King Hippo

a moyle??

/damn Shogun beat me to it

Shogun Marcus

Great minds.

Shogun Marcus

And for the record below, last night wasn’t Moonstruck night.
It was Steel Magnolias.
DRINK YOUR JUICE!

King Hippo

I re-jiggered my gravatar. That was annoying but I like this hippo picture better anyway.

scotchnaut

You’ve never been sexier… believe me, I’ve looked at a great number of hippo-centric pics.

litre_cola

Does that mean you will get one scotchy?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Potamus is sexy.
Makes me wanna send you a thing.

Shogun Marcus

Stupid sexy potamus.

litre_cola

“Everyones avatars cucumber lollypop” – Trent Green

King Hippo

They could at least have Kaylyn Kyle sunning herself on the sideline. In support of Canadia and my everlasting love.

Shogun Marcus

that’s better!

litre_cola

I wonder if the El tri game will be better attended in Phoenix than the Canada Jamaica game.

King Hippo

Think of all the spittle on FORMER Sheriff Arapaio’s computer monitor over that one…

litre_cola

He is just an embarassment. What a supreme asshole.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Hey my avatar that I changed three months ago finally appeared!

In honor of this I’m going to “take a trip” on some “far-out” and “groovy” drugs!

theeWeeBabySeamus

something something white bronco something something
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King Hippo

/also would have accepted “sexy redhead”

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli

Looks like I will watch one Bears game this year after all.

King Hippo

Looks to be at least 3 or 4 dozen people in attendance for this Canadia/Jamaican Bobsled Team quarterfinal. Oh yeah, this is a totes legitimate competitive tournament FOAR the fucknut Murrikans to win…

litre_cola

/turns on game 18 minutes in
/exclaims mother fucker
/gramma cola not impressed with language

King Hippo

not looking good for an all-NAFTA semi

Fronkenshteen

Oh, that Welker line. Choked on my damned beer.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

I can’t have beer at work, but my coworkers do think I’m slipping into madness a little earlier than usual today thanks to it.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Yeah, yeah, that’s the same thing that happened to my girlfriend! And then she, uh, fell on the floor.”

– Jourdan Lewis, to responding officers

King Hippo

ah shit, OJ didn’t get out right away? This is the biggest travesty of justice since, like, forevs. The Bills will already be out of playoff contention, FFS!!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Holy shit Cutler calling the bears is going to be soooooo good

King Hippo

you’ll hear lots of scratching in the background, because he’s gonna use the litterbox, like, a LOT…

Shogun Marcus

Uhh…dude where’s my avatar?

SonOfSpam

Prolly left it in your DVD player. Unless last night was Moonstruck night.

Shogun Marcus

seriously though…everythings gone to shit and i can’t upload a new one.

laserguru

I reset my Gravatar, then logged out of word press, deleted my history then re-logged back into word press.

I think.

Spanky Datass
Spanky Datass

Test.

Yes! Success!

Brocky

Lol, I’m having the same thing lol