Your Not So Sexy Friday … Nineteen Sexty-Seven … TGISF Goes Retro, I Guess

theeWeeBabySeamus

theeWeeBabySeamus

An unapologetic, even if often manic-depressive (it’s a requirement given his choices of sports teams), fan of NC State University, the Baltimore Ravens and the Baltimore Orioles.When not parked in front of the computer and/or TV, can often be found on the golf course shouting obscenities to no one in particular.
theeWeeBabySeamus

That’s a restored 1967 Chevy Camaro SS.  If you don’t find that sexy, then you’re an idiot.

Getting Down To Brass Tacks

It’s been a weird coupla weeks.  I have no idea where this edition of (not so) Sexy Friday will go.  No shit.  I don’t really much care either.

Truth Hurts.

But you can rest assured I’ll hear about it later from someone out there.

Frankly, I’m pretty damned tired of hearing drive by comments about TGISF (and sometimes even me personally) with no constructive feedback for what you people really do want.  Which is the whole point of the rest of this, just so you know.  If you don’t like it, tell me why.  If you can’t do that, then just STFU and change the fucking channel already.

(Huge thanks to YeahRight for actually telling me something constructive, something no one else has had the balls to do until now)

This Was Not Supposed To Happen

For various reasons, the future format of TGISF is in question.

Yet….here we are this week.  And I’ll be the one to catch hell for it.  And that’s fine, actually.  Again, I don’t really much care anymore.

The Pimp of DFO (that’s me btw)…. has no fucks left to give.

A Time For Change

The 60s were a time of great….well….let’s call it “instability”.  But both in a good and bad way.  There were a lot of gray areas and a lot of conflict.

But with conflict comes change.  It can be good change if people are at least somewhat conscientious and have enough backbone to stand up for what they believe.  Even when everyone else around them disagrees.  ESPECIALLY when everyone else around them disagrees, actually.

Be Careful What You Ask For

This song was written by Sam Cooke and originally recorded by him in 1964.  It’s obviously a product of a very socially/emotionally trying time.  A time which was in flux in many ways.  How do you think Sam Cooke would have replied if his producer had said….”Hey Sam, sorry, but we think you’re crossing the line here.”

I’d like to think Sam would have told them to fuck off.  But given the time, socially speaking, I doubt he would have.  It makes me sad to think he might not have felt comfortable doing exactly that, if that’s how he felt.

But that above version?  Aretha Franklin, 1967.  The times then were of course still plenty unsettled enough, tho.  The song has been covered a shitload more times since then, however.  If you’ve never heard this song before, well…..I feel badly for you.

Things are always changing.  It was true then.  It’s true now.  More than you know.

Prepare Your Anus, Things ‘Bout To Get Weird

1967

tWBS was a literal WeeBaby of 0-1 year old, depending upon the time of year (December, 1966 baby).  So, what happened before tWBS turned one year old? Let’s have a look….

More music later if I feel like it.

I probably will, FWIW.

What About TV?????

Oh fuck, I thought you’d never ask!!!!

Did you know that Superb Owl I (January 15, 1967) wasn’t even called that until AFTER the fucking game was over?  Talk about your revisionist history.  But yeah, Green Bay beat the fuck out of  Kansas City in that one, 35-10.  It was NOT a good game.  But that didn’t stop the media and the NFL from figuring out a way how to lie about that (so at least some things don’t change, eh?).  Origin stories for the fucking win, huh?  The Packers were a fucking 14 point favorite and still ended up beating the spread by 11.  Does that sound like a good game to you?????

Super? Yeah, OK. The Coliseum has rarely been victim to any worse spectacle than this one. See all those empty seats back there? I bet there’s NFL execs even now who regret not being able to retroactively sell those for a coupla grand apiece.

OK, but fuck sports.  What else was on that year?

Yep, your beloved Star Trek, possibly the worst show ever in the history of mankind, was going hot and heavy…

I apologize in advance if you’re an idiot Trekkie, but this is just fucking pitiful.  Wait, fuck you, no I don’t apologize.  If you think this is good writing or good acting, you’re a fucking douchenozzle.

But the show did have its merits.  Remember this lovely lady?

Well she was the only good thing about that show.  I don’t care if you don’t agree.

And even now, at the age of 84 AND after a stroke, she’s still a pretty damned beautiful lady, IMHO…

 

So what else?

Oh right, that literary bastion, Gunsmoke, was still hanging on by a thread.  Wait, did I say by a thread?  That fucking shitshow would hang on for eight MORE fucking years….20 in total (not including nine on the radio before that).  Holy shit, how did that show even get on the fucking air, let alone last as long as it did?

Fuck you, Miss Kitty.  No, I’m actually serious now, I would have….she was really fucking hot.  When the show first fucking started…

20 years later…..?

Well fine, OK….she was still pretty hot, all things considered.  But you get my point goddammit!!!!!

Moving on…..

I Dream of Fucking Jeannie had been on a coupla years by then and was a household staple.  Major Nelson was a tool, who would later go on to be an even bigger tool in Texas (JR?  Dallas?  Come on people…keep up FFS), while Major Healey was….well, he was a pussy, more or less.  Dr. Bellows was a little dickhead pencil pusher, of course.  But Jeannie?

Oh my yes….Barbara Eden.  Hells Yeahs.  Now we got our Sexy going (plus she had an evil sister….see?  You forgot that, didn’t you??)

I like the bitch sister better, if I’m being honest.  I bet she’d do butt stuff.  A chick who would do butt stuff wasn’t easy to come by in the 60s.  Plus she’s like a Jeannie and shit, so after doing butt stuff, she could just blink and make a beer and a burger appear.  Tell me that’s not awesome!!!!!!

1967 Musical Interlude?

Bet your sorry asses!!!!!!!

Gratuitous Profanity In The Body Of The Text?

It’s almost as if you fucking asshead people don’t know me.

Remember back when you couldn’t say shit (literally and figuratively) on TV?

So This Was Weird Tonight, Right?

And yet….it’s about to get worse.

What else was popular back then?  Pubic Hair.

Yep, you heard me right.  Tending the garden was much less of a concern back then.  Why?  Fuck if I know?  I mean a pubic hair caught between your teeth was just as annoying then as it is now, I’d presume.  I mean, when you’re “down there”, really giving her the business so to speak, but then have to pause for clean up?  Very annoying.

If one wishes to play Croquet, one should keep the lawn tended.  Just saying.

But bushy was beautiful back then.

Artist’s Rendering….

Well I’ve Probably Pissed Enough People Off For One Week

Aaaaand…..I need a drink, anyway.

Here, have a few more 1967 songs.

 

 

More Aretha?  Fuck Yes!!!!!

Have a great weekend, folks.

Feel free to yell at me in the comments.  But be aware that if you don’t yell constructively, I might yell back.

Still Love ya’s tho.

(Probably)

theeWeeBabySeamus
theeWeeBabySeamus
An unapologetic, even if often manic-depressive (it's a requirement given his choices of sports teams), fan of NC State University, the Baltimore Ravens and the Baltimore Orioles. When not parked in front of the computer and/or TV, can often be found on the golf course shouting obscenities to no one in particular.
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Moose -The End Is Well NighFree Ballin' FootballUnsurprisedballsofsteelandfuryscotchnaut Recent comment authors
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So wait, are we just not gonna talk about Jeannie’s seeming aversion to washing her feet?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

They never clean the floors in that damn studio.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I lied.

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Last caption for the evening.
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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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scotchnaut

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I am turning up my TV to 11 and not going to sleep myself over hearing this shit.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Also, we have very strictly adhered to normally sound laws and times if you are a person. There is still a construction company working down the street with the BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP that thinks 3 am is the time to start.

The only thing I can compare the noise to is hearing one of the default basic alarm noises when you try to sleep. If you hear it you will wake up even at low volumes.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I went to bed dreaming of laying in my sister’s chair that was given to me by her and then stolen by my dad twice. Most recently this week. I will go back to bed but he has it in his main room with my table and a ton of my other stuff I loaned him. He keeps breaking shit and stealing my shit without telling me, this one had no feet because he lost them so I couldn’t claim it as my own.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

He was all about his living room looking as one fashion 3 years ago, now it is just all my shit with the stuff he hasn’t broke or springed so far one side no one else will sit on it.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Fuck this comment

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

It’s not the best work in the world, but for a dozen monkeys masturbating away at a dozen laptops, it’s pretty good.

https://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2017-san-francisco-49ers-1797328541

lol at Smash Mouth tweeting in defense of Baalke

someBODY

Once told me
he was firing Trent Baalke
I said, You ain’t
the sharpest tool in the shed.
He was looking kind of dumb,
some rich guy’s insecure son,
with the shape of an L on his forehead.

Hey now
Your roster’s all gone
Your team can
Barely playyyyyyyyyyy…

Hey now
You’re in Santa Clara now
Your team is
Far awayyyyyyy…

Even Blaine Gabbert’s gone…
Only Jim Harbaugh laughs tomorrow-oh

Hey now
You’re twenty-six now
Time to hang ’em up
Retire todayyyy

Well
the beers start cracking
and they don’t stop cracking
Jed inherited the team
and started fucking up and slacking
Didn’t make sense to have fun or win
Firing Harbaugh was a god damn sin

I said yep what a concept
I could use a little rhythm, myself
And we could all use a little strangeeee

Well, the rings kept coming but now they stopped coming.
Led by the fools and I hit the ground cryin

Wakezilla

The Liouns were outplayed by the battered Eskimos tonight, but, holy christ the CFL comes across as bush league with those dumpster fire calls in the 4th

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

God damn it.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

A guy with most of his hand blown off managed to pick-6 us, and that wasn’t even the biggest anti-highlight of the season

It’s like a one-legged running back hopscotching his way to a 99 yard touchdown against your D.

Damn

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Because I can’t get enough fan comments about WYTS.
https://www.reddit.com/r/nfl/comments/6pxord/why_your_team_sucks_2017_cleveland_browns/

A guy with most of his hand blown off managed to pick-6 us, and that wasn’t even the biggest anti-highlight of the season.

What the fuck? How did JPP make an interception?

Also, kind of a missed opportunity to not mention that Roethlisberger is tied for the most wins in First Energy Stadium by a QB.

That’s fucked up.

Here’s the JPP pick-six, BTW.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

That one Kreiger joke in Archer that you might not get

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I will keep skipping around

Wakezilla

Who on earth has a problem with sexy friday? Terrorists. That’s who.

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

We don’t have a theme for this

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

@Blax, this was a good one.

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Also good.
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laserguru

Love you right back Brother (board member) Seamus.

You sexy thang!

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Cig break again. My dog is getting to out again.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

From the nfl memes subreddit, named by idiots (i.e., redditors), r/nfffffffluuuuuuuuuuuu
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Beerguyrob

I’m quite enjoying the AFL battle of Melbourne.

JerBear50
JerBear50

I prefer the UMWA battle of Matewan.

ballsofsteelandfury

It’s surprisingly close.

laserguru

I really want to watch AFL. Is it streaming only? Because I’ve got a big ass TV with a dish and shit.

ballsofsteelandfury

You should be able to stream it in your phone/ tablet and then Chromecast it to your tv.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

important point from @jbarro: lots of Republicans privately grateful that John McCain killed Senate bill https://t.co/LlSexRfLVv via @— John Harwood (@JohnJHarwood) July 28, 2017

What’s their counter? “We’re not gutless, we’re incompetent?”

Beastmode Ate My Baby

I haven’t seen Zymm on here with the new format. Will her little avatar thingy say “member” beneath it, too? ‘Cause that’ll be kinda weird…

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

That is her grabbing someone to do something correctly written by a woman. The site will default.

/edit I was responding to a fuck it. Nevermind

JerBear50
JerBear50

How about a “like member” button?

Beastmode Ate My Baby

I think it’s assumed we all like our members.

JerBear50
JerBear50

I do my best to reinforce that to keep his self-esteem high. I try to remind him just before bed usually.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Lots of playful slapping and soft stroking as if it was the mane of a horse.

JerBear50
JerBear50

Nature’s ambien.

Don T

Chastity felt.

Beastmode Ate My Baby
JerBear50
JerBear50

Wow, free porn?!?!?!? Are they also giving away a free email address and 40 hours of AOL?

ballsofsteelandfury

THAT is banner material right there.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

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Beastmode Ate My Baby

This made me laugh, this made IWDB laugh. Damn, good JerBear, you is funny!

JerBear50
JerBear50

Sometimes between the frantic posting of Drive-By Trucker videos and awful puns, something of value slips out.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I have to type characters 5 times sometimes right now. I can’t get the right message out. I refuse to give up my tv. My amazon remote is on AAA bateries

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

My dad still pays a fee for an aol email because it is his own… I can’t make him fix it or bridge it.

But I expected to no most know the newest software on any site even if I have never seen it before I saw an install.

/his new one is to an actual site, but he runs things through aol.

JerBear50
JerBear50
Unsurprised
Unsurprised

It doesn’t seem to be much of a secret.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I’m particularly proud of my contribution to making the joke work.

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Album of all of this week’s Quotable results

blaxabbath

I was flipping through a couple old quotables for format referencing today and, around here anyways, a bunch of those would warrant respectable and useful memes (or ‘gifs’ as the kids say).

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Let me know which.

Senor Weaselo

But would the memes be considered “dank”? That’s also what the kids say.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Someone has to throw them into the animal pit (4chan or r/NFL) and watch the feeding frenzy.

For science. For the greater good.

This seems like it would get the best reception (so to speak) on r/NFL or something since everyone hates the NFL’s complete inability to rule on what exactly constitutes a catch.
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JerBear50
JerBear50

Holy Shit! I’ve been gif’d!

blaxabbath

My next summer series (I like off-season stuff because it doesn’t matter if it finishes bc no ones here anyways…) is gonna be the saga of how Sill became me and then there will be an explosion and every comment thereafter will be part-Sill/part-blax.

Origin stories are in and this is tailor-made for social media integration.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

His content bitching/ that everyone else is out to get him Ratio is 1/2500. You can’t do that in a summer.

blaxabbath

Wait for the cards preview and you’ll understand how I’m already on to next summer.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I will trust you. Assume you will do good work with full articles.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

THIS GUY MAKES DREAMS COME TRUE
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*not necessarily your dreams

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo

Does it at least straighten out from the gyroscopic forces?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo

It’s like the opposite of the movie Teeth!

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I’m looking, but so far I am still in awe of how much ejaculate this woman produced from the first video on Pornhub, which is the first result on Google.

No one is using flexible dildos, and the ones who are insert them before starting them up. The closest I found is the latter but it’s a monster and it’s still flopping around. So I’m inclined to say … No.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Warning: HRTN will be back next Friday. Enjoy your one week of existence without it, because it will be your last…

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Horatio Cornblower

Current beverage: comment image

Out of Mystic, CT. Stopped in and picked up 8 of them after watching a witness destroy my defense at a deposition earlier this week. Very, very good. But at 9.1% probably switching off after this one.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo

Did you point and yell “OBJECTION” at the top of your lungs and then slam the table? That’s about all I know about lawyering.

Horatio Cornblower

Mostly I put my head in my hands and wept.

Hopefully no one caught on to my subtle hints.

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

“You have a lot of Spanish channels. Its weird your cable company does that. I mean you don’t even speak Spanish”

“I speak Spanish”

“No you don’t. I’ve never heard you speak Spanish. You didn’t even speak Spanish with they guy you introduced me to from work”

“You mean Vlad? My coworker from Russia?!?”

“Yeah”

“Ay, Dios mío usted está en problemas si se pone feo con la edad”

“Oh wow…do you know George Lopez?”

Horatio Cornblower

This date is muy bueno.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I’m guessing Vlad speaks English and Spanish better than her.

Senor Weaselo

So… odds of a second date are good, I presume?

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I am not asking for it again, but I loved when it showed who liked each specific comment. Also, repeating, not asking for it just saying I loved that.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

We all did, but those times are gone now. Thanks to Trump.

blaxabbath

blax liked this

Don T

Didn’t you keep dossiers? Huh.
Two for $150 – $250. Depending on your beedibess.

Horatio Cornblower

Here’s a hot taek:

As he got older George Carlin was not only not funny but was little more than an old asshole ranting at kids to get off his lawn.

I saw him once, 10-12 years ago and it was a stunningly terrible show. All he did was rant for an hour plus, had no routine whatsoever, told one joke, (possibly by accident), and essentially stole money from the entire crowd. He’d do the same thing every time I saw him on TV too. Absolute genius early on but his later years would have been better spent over landscaping his property while bitching about how kids today have it easy.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

About half of his specials weren’t recorded late enough I could watch them live because of my age. I caught them all later on HBO or on VHS or some other format my friend get them on. I got to watch his specials live or near live when he was “Old Man Yells at Cloud”. I still love his work

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Is anyone else still having to try 3 avenues to log into the site now, then refreshing the page manually when one finally works (or maneuvering from a settings page)?

And I must have missed the tWBS shaming. I was here most of the night watching Buffy on my other monitor. I missed it. Sorry about that (really older) brother.