Your “If Monday Had A Face, I’d Punch It” Evening Open Thread

NFL News:

• Getting an early start to missing part of the season, Vontaze Burfict is facing a suspension for an illegal hit back in the Bengals second pre-season game versus the Chiefs.
  • If it happens, his repeat offender status will result in it being five games, and cost Burfict $882,353 in lost base-salary.
    • Pacman Jones is already out for the season opener with a suspension of his own.
  • The Bengals have already indicated they will appeal.
  • Judge for yourself:

Burfict laid a cheap shot on this seam throw. Look at the right-hand corner. pic.twitter.com/VCjPQQgCoJ

— Ian (@NFLDraftStudy) August 20, 2017

• Someone convert Marc Trestman’s windowless van into an actual Rape Van: Art Briles is coming to Hamilton!
  • He will become the Assistant Head Coach of Offence (no offense). Their write-up lists all his impressive coaching accomplishments in the NCAA.
    • No mention, though, of why just an honoured coach is available at this date…
  • And just in time for tonight’s Ti-cats “Huddles & Heels” football clinic & dinner for female fans!

• Brock Ostweiler is officially on the market: DeShone Kizer has been named the Browns starter for Week-1.
  • The Browns start versus the Steelers & Ravens, so if the kid doesn’t work out right away, they can throw Brock in…unless they cut him after the last pre-season game.

• Due to Hurricane Harvey, the Texans are practicing in Dallas ahead of their final preseason game versus the Cowboys.
  • If the weather remains a factor, the game may be moved to Dallas.

• Even though cut-down day is officially Saturday, starting today teams are allowed to begin reducing rosters of players they intend not to play this Thursday.
  • The rule changes allow team to keep up to 90 players until preseason Game-4.
  • Teams used to have to go from 90 to 75, and then 75 to 53. On Saturday, it’ll be a straight bloodletting from 90 to 53.

Finally, your reminder that Ezekiel Elliott’s suspension appeal is tomorrow. The current rumours are that Jerry Jones is still beyond pissed that any time is being handed out, especially considering that no charges were followed through upon. Meanwhile, I’m sure ol’ Rog has the one ring and palantir shined up good & ready for such an occasion.

Tools of the administrative trade these days.

Tonight’s sports:

• MLB:
  • Cleveland at Yankees – 7:00PM | ESPN / TSN2
  • Red Sox at Blue Jays – 7:00PM | Sportsnet

• U.S. Open Tennis:
  • First-round play – 7:00PM | ESPN2 / TSN

• WWE:
  • Monday Night Raw – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360

Well, it’s time to go sell beer,