NFL News:
- Ben Roethlisberger says it’s his role as a leader to speak to teammates when they need to be spoken to.
- He obviously thinks this is his doing:
Apologize for all the noise and the distractions Steeler nation let's stay focus #Pushfor7
— AB (@AB84) October 4, 2017
- High emotions between the [Redacteds] and Chiefs on Monday night:
- Marcus Peters swore at some home fans after giving up a TD, earning a rib-spittled rebuke from Andy Reid after the game.
- Terrelle Pryor middle-fingered some fans as he was leaving the field Monday night.
- Based on the length of time Mariota’s expected to miss, the Titans went with a short-term solution of Brandon Weeden backing up Matt Cassel.
- If the timeline is only 2-6 weeks, then sure. If it turns into a whole season, then you’ll hear the wolves.
- Injuries:
- Josh Norman – injured lung
- Cliff Avril – neck stinger
Finally, a headline guaranteed to warm the charcoal-blackness of Low Commander’s heart
Melvin Gordon told the L.A. Times. “It’s sad when you’re home and it feels like you’re away, but when you’re 0-4, what can you expect?”
Despite that, the NFL says it will not be considering returning the team to San Diego, which was apparently a thing at some point in time. That was according to Joe Lockhart of the NFL on a conference call Monday, saying that the Chargers are staying put and riding this thing out in Los Angeles.
At least, that’s this week’s answer.
NHL season starts tonight. Of course, your pals at DFO have you covered with a preview of each team & a focus on attendance woes.
For shits & giggles, see how closely the thing I typed yesterday correlates with what Deadspin did today. There’s no implication of plagiarism; but, it is interesting to see how relatively few opinions there are when it comes to discussing how shitty shitty teams will be.
I guarantee you that most of us don’t need the NHL right now. Oh sure, we’ll tune into the home openers and some marquee games at the start of the season, but we’ve still got FOOTBAW to guide us through the week.
However, once the NFL playoffs start in January, and there’s less daily coverage & such, then we’ll welcome hockey back like an old friend. But with Gary Bettman in charge, that friend is also a bum looking for money, so you’ll eventually have to tell him to fuck off.
Tonight’s sports:
- MLB:
- NL Wild Card Game:
- Rockies at Diamondbacks – 8:00PM | TBS / Sportsnet1
- NL Wild Card Game:
- NHL:
- Leafs at Jets – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
- Blues at Penguins – 8:00PM | NBCSN
- Flames at Oilers – 10:00PM | Sportsnet
- Flyers at Sharks – 10:30PM | NBCSN
- NCAA:
- Football:
- Arkansas State at Georgia Southern – 8:00PM | ESPN2 / TSN
- Women’s Volleyball:
- Texas A&M at Florida – 7:00PM | ESPNU
- Kansas State at TCU – 9:00PM | ESPNU
- Football:
- WNBA:
- Game 5: Los Angeles Sparks at Minnesota Lynx – 8:00PM | ESPN
So, the sports week now looks like:
- Thursday Night Football
- Saturday night NCAA & Hockey Night in Canada
- Sunday football
- Monday Night Football
- Wednesday Night Rivalries (NHL)
YEP – WORKS FOR ME!
Am I hallucinating or does Paris Jackson look like her dad in profile? The one on the left, in case it isn’t obvious to you (because why would it be?).
I think the tits are about the same size anyway, other than that, no.
Jazz, I assume
Evahbodeh got really quiet for a sec, huh?
BIKES!
Recreating the fight with the Crazy 88 from Kill Bill?
EDIT: Plain old “88s” is probably a neo-Nazi gang.
Too much declarin’, not enough preparin’.
Why is the Arizona Diamondbacks’ mascot not a snake?
Too obvious?
Could be expensive whores?
FTV should by the name rights.
Can’t believe I’m watching baseball
LEPROSY!!!
I read a comment a couple days ago saying that H.P. Lovecraft’s virulent racism is part of what made him a great horror writer because ??? I blanked after that.
I’m going through this list of recent TV series episodes that are available and it’s astonishing how much TV there is.
“90s House.” JFC
It occurs to me that a copy of each’s week’s RedZone would be nice to have.
I cannot remember the last time I watched Brooklyn 99 or Bob’s Burgers. I think I was caught up through season 4 of Bob’s Burgers on Netflix, but that was at least a year ago.
Cyberwar S02E01, “The Great Meme War”
Kill me.
Saw Blade Runner : Final Cut tonight. Nice edit, still some continuity problems but it was nice to see it on a big screen again. Stoked for the new one now.
Damn, Sean Young was a hot slice back then even through the unflattering make up and hair.
UUUUUGE bush.
“A man has to be able to survive in the jungle as well as the desert.”
Sup, shitdicks?
See now; one has to prepare for butt seks.
We’re watching the “Ghosted” pilot. They should call this show “Pilot: the show (pilot episode)”.
So is it a pilot or…?
Pontius.
Jesus, that was a bad joke and so is this one.
I liked it if that’s any consolation.
I know it isn’t tho, and that’s OK.
Hehehehe
Well, at least there is two of us instead of my usual crack myself up jokes.
What kind of plane does this “Ghost Pilot” fly? I mean is it a ghost plane or a real plane? And if it’s a real plane, how does he stay in it, given the airspeed. Or does cabin pressurization affect that somehow?
This sounds really interesting. When did you say it’s on?
Looking at the summary and the cast, this looks like a comedic version of The X-Files.
Like they say; beware of sticking your dick in crazy.
Alternate timeline Isaac Newton had a hard time.
Monkey Ook!
I say, that coconut just fell to Earth. Do you know what that means? My theory of gravity is….
OH NO GODDAMMIT IT’S A FUCKING MONKEY!!!!!!
And enemies, too!!!!
Fuck Physics!!!!!!!!
Rocktober not going away quietly.
So Cam Newton’s comments: Stupid, but in the grand scheme of my life, really don’t give a shit.
That’s my reaction to everything Trump says, too. And to whatever anyone else says, really. Life would be great if not for all the people.
It occurs to me that so much of the military is already spent protecting oil & energy interests that I could see the Kelly junta keeping Tillerson around since he’s already one of the boys.
So, to clarify my earlier query, I was actually making a joke about the whole Tillerson thing and how Trump’s reponse was to deny that it even happened (even though Tillerson didn’t).
Yeah, yeah…..I got that. Yeah, yeah.
I thought it was a good general question anyway. But then I a pedantic fuck too.
I mean, I didn’t want to be one of those “boys who cried wolf”. Like that time Eli saw that movie “The Howling” on late-night TV and had nightmares.
Wuff.
I have people on my team bitching about my boss and his boss, so it actually rings a bit true in a way.
Trump is a living example of the saying that a lie repeated enough times becomes the truth.
Here’s something I think about too often. I hate fat-shaming and that’s why I stopped reading Dan Savage a decade ago because he was, is, a giant fucking douchebag about it. But I have no problem fat-shaming and mocking Trump and specific people for being fat because who they are is indicative of why they probably are fat and I think it’s perfectly fine to use their own bodies and behaviors against them because Fuck Them. However, without context it just looks like I’m painting him as part of a group whose entirety is equally awful rather than my intent. It also leads down a nasty path. For example, by that same reasoning I can mock Texas Governor Greg Abbot for being half a man or spineless or some other pejorative term based on or drawing attention to him being a paraplegic. I don’t intend to mock all handicapped people, but he is a piece of shit and I think it should be fair to attack him as mercilessly as possible.
I don’t know.
The best low blows are not obvious. Check if he’s impotent, and pick the dickiest sports analogy.
Well, always remember your opinions aren’t shared by the majority. You can play that Abbott card, but it doesn’t always hold populist sway.
And this line *I don’t intend to mock all handicapped people*, won’t always be a Get Out of Jail Free card.
There is an overwhelming amount of things to mock Greg Abbot about without resorting to the cheap-shot that just makes one look like a dick.
Oh agreed, I get the “I didn’t intend to X” defense as I have used it a couple of times in my life to varying degrees of effectiveness.
Yes, nothing is off limits for comedy; many things are off limits for ridicule. If you get offended or sickened by Trump making fun of the handicapped reporter and then dip your bucket in the same well it just doesn’t work. IMO anyway.
That’s a good point.
This is true.
Did someone base a ball where his balls are based?
Something like that
Hit the boosters right in the launch pad. Rocket status unknown.
He’s reacting to his pitch hitting Sanchez in the onions….HARD.
Yes, I did the same thing, fwiw. And I don’t even like Sanchez.
Question for the Alphas here: if there was a meeting you didn’t attend where one of your employees called you a “fucking moron” and it got back to you (independently verified by three separate sources), what is the most Beta way you could possibly respond?
A meeting 15 minutes before the end of the day to discuss some pedantic aspect of the job?
Pfft. That’s on Thursdays.
Being in sort of first level management, I’d have to be very careful and politic in dealing with this. Slit his throat in the parking lot I guess.
Seriously though; if they were on my team I’d confront and ask them if they want to transfer to another team. If they were on another team from mine I’d just plainly ask what is your problem with me? That shit is cancer, I’ve got two people on my team who can act like that about some other people; problem is I sorta agree and they are really good at what they do. I ask them to tone it the fuck down.
That said; if he meant that you were actually fucking a moron; you’d have to ask him to stop talking about his mom like that.
End of next meeting… while speaking to everyone, but making direct eye contact with him…
Apologize for being late. Even as the boss you try to hold yourself to the same standards.
“…so from now on…we’ll all be watching everyone else a LOT more closely, won’t we?”
Meeting adjourned
Fire the three sources for snitching. Nobody likes a tattletale.
I have heard that those types, also known as “snitches,” are the recipients of something called “stitches.”
“Oh. I heard ‘switches’.”
– Adrian Peterson
Work the phrase “fucking moron” into any conversation you have with this shitheel.
“Implement that upgrade? I’d have to be a fucking moron not to do that, right?
“Burritos for lunch? If I said no to that, I’d have to be a fucking moron, don’t you think?”
Stuff like that.
Can you send him a letter asking if he thinks you’re a fucking moron with checkboxes for yes, no and maybe?
Undecided?
N/A?
Not enough information?
Do whatever Trump does. Cuckolded, fat, dumb, worthless, deadbeat loser.
Rant on the Twitter while Bing-ing for “golden showers”?
I may have found my next desktop background.
As if he actually has real money.
That and the rest are the joke.
Look closer. They are actually IOU’s printed to look like rubles.
I’m sick of people perpetuating this lie that he’s wealthy like it’s a fact and not more bullshit.
Also, you could ask this over at askamanager.com
That’s a pretty awesome workplace advice column
Enter into a steamy homosexual relationship with the employee. After three months cheat on him. “Who’s the fucking moron now?” you can sneer as you are whisked away in your newest lover’s Mercedes convertible to an all-night rave/orgy in Miami Beach.
OK, movie pitch!
Give him a raise and suck him off.
Isn’t the latter a version of the former?
Ah, shorter cooler days. I finally feel like myself again….
Hehehe, damn right.
I’d have to be looking for gay intrigue to sniff around these….ladies.
So that’s why this corn tasted funny…
Never trust creamed corn, man.
OMG I wanna frame that! That’s Claire’s full of charm right there.
Claire will also shive some bastard who gets out of line.
When asked about Kaep, Mike Mularkey punted: didn’t know if the Tits’s brass was interested, BUT Weeden was familiar with “the system”. That fucking system better be hand it off 45-50 times. Gutless cowards. IT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE TO SIGN KAEPERNICK, but Mularkey’s a vocal flag respekturr, and also deflected Rishard Matthews’s protest. Who knew RM dared to have comvictions instead of being a 24/7 FAWTBAW MAAAN.
So yes, this hit a nerve.
They shoulda signed him in the spring as a backup..
How’s it going?
We’re managing well, and are in good spirits. Overall: gas lines are at least 80% shorter and there are glimpses of usual living. Still very little electricity, some water and telecom. Shit’s still serious. A telling detail: the Fed Oversight Board (created by ??PROMESA??), stayed the austerity measures it imposed AND is asking Congress for billions. We’ll see, but this rebuild will take years anyway.
The good news is Mularkey is an idiot
I’d bet that is owner and/or management making that decision and he has to live with it.
Doopy Pantz kneeeling just to spite everyone might actually get me to tune in…
/Probably can’t tune in, since I only get the league mandated 2 network games, so I guess it doesn’t matter.
BUT THEY DON”T PLAY THE SAME STYLE!!!!
/actually they do you see which makes not signing Kaep a fucking travesty.
Is this Jon Robinson’s call or as with most teams the black list comes from on high?
h
ttps://68.media.tumblr.com/22d4b3b156968ee971c937f5b9789a7c/tumblr_o6f2yxwhy31qknx22o1_500.gif
Newsflash?
h
ttps://68.media.tumblr.com/bc62e809de3aab7a1f980cfa2f05138c/tumblr_o5r05iNtvc1qknx22o1_400.gif
Weather at 10:20
:clears throat:
Testicles
That will be all
Potential Game 1 starter pitching in the top of the 5th for Arizona. Who is winning by 2.
Now “Riding the tube.” makes more sense.
Komraderov got a hockey penalty for “Illegal Equipment”? What the fuck was that about ? Stick too big or wrong blade curvature?
Improper face shield. It was loosely applied (tape) as opposed to being screwed in. They knew he was doing it & waited to make the call.
Which is extra stupid, since he’s grandfathered & doesn’t have to wear one at all.
An interesting thing about the movie Slap Shot is that Canadian actor Michael Ontkean plays an American hockey player, while American actor Paul Newman plays a Canadian hockey player. As you watch the film, however, they are absolutely believable and you cannot even tell that they are doing this, which shows just how hard they were acting. I give this film 4 stars for the violence.
Two paws of nip, leave the pouch.
This movie needs to be re-watched.
Good to see my Ice Bombers show up tonight. I believe I queried whether they would find someone to stop the ice football. The answer clearly is no.
Rocktober’s not dead yet!
https://youtube.com/watch?v=vEc9nXErU-Y
Continuing on the Space and Trump theme…
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Project_A119
Odds Trump learns about this canceled project and reopens it to display America’s power to the DPRK?
We were SO CLOSE to having an agency called DERPA!
When I was in Power School in the navy, we were trained by Direct Input Limited Line Duty Officers.
We were not allowed to use the acronym…
Ah, the Pickle Men, so wise.
Rockies forgot they weren’t at Coors.
Per Señor Weaselo’s friend:
Personally I prefer “Two Balls and One Strike”.
Bozak’s teammate? Hyman.
Okay…I have read this tweet like 10 times…
//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js
I swear to god this reads like they typical Alex Jones tweet where he is implying something is a false flag…like a mass shooting or whenever he cuts a fart on the air.
Did our president imply the worst mass shooting in US history was a false flag?
Trying to understand anything trump writes, says, or types is where you went wrong there.
Seriously. He’s a moron. There’s nothing deeper to analyze with anything he says or does.
We have to learn how this happened so we can avoid it. We’re lucky we elected an idiot. If he was smart, we’d be even more screwed that we already are.
Don’t worry. His successor will be.
This is an opening to go off politically again but I’m too tired to use it.
Me too. Lets agree that we’re smart and other is misinformed and/or a dumbass.
Maybe he is such a heartless bastard that he doesn’t believe in miracles?
Actually I could honestly see him taking a dig at first responders for the heat he is taking…
Got my natural gas turned on.
My HVAC is in my attic.
We can put a fucking man on the moon but we can’t make insulation not itchy.
What the fuck?
I think that’s in the specs
Thanks Oba…nah. No thanks Corning. Sitting on your laurels, not innovating. THIS IS WHY CHINA IS WINNING SHEEPLE!
/sorry, you were saying? It’s pill time!
If it makes you feel any better, we were close to killing them several times. We were literally a pen away from having two skeletons on the moon landing site.
Supposedly, while Neil was the first to walk on the moon, Buzz was the first to shit himself.
The president had four speeches prepared. All 3 die. The two on the lander die. Neil dies when he walked on the moon, and of course, the successful mission.
Over and over again, on earth, they practice the sequence where Neil would go down the ladder and touch the moon. There was concerns that moon surface would just envelope Neil and they had trained Buzz that he was to take off, even if Neil was still alive. Buzz was to watch through a tiny viewing port that could just make out Neil’s helmet.
So Neil goes down the ladder, only its not quite like how the rest of the world saw it and not how the practice. Neil missed the last rung and slipped down…but for a moment, Buzz lost site of him and Neil didn’t immediate respond.
Keep in mind, the astronauts were on a hyper low fiber diet because they had sandwich bags for poop. They were trying to go the entire mission without shitting…because well…they had no toilet.
So supposedly, Buzz instantly panic squirted his pants because he thought Neil got sucked into the surface of the moon.
Amazing how far they went to fake that shit.
I love the theory that moon was covered in the equivalent of quicksand. I have no idea where it came from though.
I always thought it was interesting that the fully isolated the astronauts for the potential of them bringing back an infectious disease.
Like what exactly could survive in the vacuum of space with all that ionizing radiation?
It honestly good they were willing to consider wild possibilities and plan for them.
They didn’t know it was lifeless. We’ve been evolved over millions of years from ooze to human to deal with stuff from Earth. All it takes is one microbe not from this Earth and we’d be extinct in about a month.
And microbes, I believe, have been shown to survive in vacuums.
You son of a bitch! I have to work earlier than normal tomorrow, now I’m going to be up all night watching Spaceballs.
I really need to rewatch that.
Suddenly Buzz punching that guy for saying they faked the Moon landing makes complete sense.
I just spent an hour Youtubing to songs I like. I needed that.
Winnipeg is definitly the Cleveland Browns of the NHL. They even have the same “we love our team then they moved to a different city but then we got a new franchise later” story. And the same mind-boggling incompetence year after year despite some occasional talent. AND NO PARKS!
And more being eaten by wolves, according to xkcd.
So Toronto are the Dallas Cowboys?
Sounds about right.
Gonna call the Penguins = Patriots because I hate them so much and most of their success stems from one lucky draft pick. And Red Wings = Steelers maybe, because they’re long lauded for doing things “The Right Way”
I like the Red Wings- Steelers comparison as they have not won lately and the window seems to have closed.
Heh, Been trying to think of who to stick with the Canadiens, and I think it’s the Bears. Completely dysfunctional and living on long lost and long overrated glory days.
Anyone want to pick me up at DCA in about 3.5 hours?
Is Metro on fire again?
Check and see!
https://ismetroonfire.com/
I could make it in about 4.5.
(but I’m not gonna)
This just in: there is STILL an NHL player with the last name Bozak. Bozak.
Also, booooooooooo toronto.
Bozak Hockeyman?
Unfortunetly not. Not even Redd Bozak.
Last few hours in Bali before heading to Kathmandu, do you think there will be more or fewer Chinese tourists there?
Are they still tourists if they consider Nepal to be owned by China?
Oh that headline very much warms my heart.
This, however, has kept me laughing for the past 5 minutes.
Zing!
I haven’t really followed regular season hockey in a while. Too many games with too little impact on which 3/4 of the teams or whatever end up in the playoffs. I’ll pay attention in May or whenever when the playoffs start. Though it IS nice of them to try an limit the amount of time where it’s just baseball.
Having grown up in Hartford, I feel much the same way about hockey that people from San Diego and St. Louis feel about football, or people in Seattle feel about basketball.
And similar to how the people in Kansas City feel, what with having only one playoff win in seventeen seasons of play.
To whoever is in charge of creating the Photo Caption Contest, I humbly submit this for your consideration in next week’s post.
Actually, Gary Sanchez might’ve won that round of Quotables in between writhings of pain because goddamn that looked like it hurt. Or my friend who came up with “Right in the Baby Bombers.”
https://twitter.com/ElGarySanchez/status/915586226689855488
Too easy.
“OW! My balls!”
And we’re done.
“When I think about you, I touch myself. OHHhhhhh!”
Booooooo Tronto!
Dis is a sediment I can gert behind.
Just to be clear, I was only talking about the Marlies
Saw way too many people in baseball gear today to think about hockey