NFL News:
- Everything’s coming up Cowboys today:
- A TRO granted by a NY court will allow Ezekiel Elliott to play Sunday versus the Niners.
- Dallas will host the 2018 NFL Draft.
- Injuries:
- Good news: Teddy Bridgewater is back on the Vikings practice field.
- Bad news: [Redacteds] DE Jonathan Allen done for the year with a Lisfranc injury.
- Noise:
The NFL has decided that it will not force players to stand for the playing of our National Anthem. Total disrespect for our great country!
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) October 18, 2017
To which I add,
Courtesy Deadspin, some hero/masochist decided to make a video showing all the bumpers for failed TV shows Joe Buck has made during his 21 years (?!) of broadcasting baseball playoffs on FOX.
There’s a delightful combination of “who the fuck is that guy?” and “who thought that was a good idea?” wrapped up in the misery he’s forced to relay. It’s but a taste of what we viewers go through when he goes off on his tangents.
Tonight’s sports:
- MLB:
- Game 4: Dodgers at Cubs – 9:00PM | TBS / Sportsnet
- NHL:
- Red Wings at Maple Leafs – 7:30PM | Sportsnet1
- Blackhawks at Blues – 8:00PM | NBCSN
- Canadiens at Kings – 10:30PM | NBCSN / TSN (Quebec) / RDS
- NBA:
- 76ers at Wizards – 7:00PM | ESPN / TSN
- Timberwolves at Spurs – 9:30PM | ESPN / TSN
I know MLB HQ has an extreme hard-on for a potential Yankees – Dodgers World Series. My thoughts?
C’MON ASTROS!
While gearing up for my trip to the Motherland I realized I passed up a date to see KMFDM and OhGr.
The Vikings better win this motherfucker.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YBxYpOEoLcM
I just kicked the shit out of the Thursday New York Times crossword puzzle. I’ll be fighting off the all the pussy tomorrow when word of this gets out.
THIS BRICK MEATHOOK, I CALL HIM CHEF BOYARDEE BECAUSE HE JUST MADE PANTY SOUP
Me last night to Mrs. Wakezilla: Do we need anything from the store? I’m going to be busy after the gym tomorrow to go to the store.
Mrs. Wakezilla : we’re good
Tonight, on my way home from the gym, I just got this long ass list of food I have to pick up from the store. Fuck.
Oh, also, please put these up in the clubhouse for the holidays: https://www.tastingtable.com/drinks/national/whisky-christmas-ornaments?
I look forward to tomorrow’s Maddon takes. Night, all.
And the 1999 Yankees can exhale knowing nobody has run the table and bumped them off yet.
And just like that, Hideki Irabu pours a shot of sake to celebrate this fact.
Crickets….
Angry Joe Maddon is angry.
He should be. That’s BS.
That was nearly a Touchdown Seahawks moment there.
FRAH FRAH?
Is it sad that I’m browsing through my post history and admiring some of my own DFO Radio doodles? What can I say, I’m bored.
Yes but it’s only SAD! if you’re promising to mail yourself a royalty check and then not doing it
I see we’ve all found something we agree on! FINALLY! WHOO! WE’VE DONE IT! METOO!
…what’s that? Oh. So that’s nawt what that is. umm…well. Awkward.
You know that singer in the Jeep Renegade commercial? She seems annoying as fuck.
She’s inexplicably infuriating.
Am the only one who doesn’t “get” Broad City?
I don’t know. Is it about broads?
80’s women’s fashion designers in Chicago.
/this joke has all the shoulders.
Close enough.
I heard Andy Reid went into a restaurant called Bread City and ate everything in the restaurant and they had to close the restaurant.
Did the bread look at you?
I wish I was Matthew McConaughey’s best friend. We could talk on the phone, or go drive around in his car. That would be pretty cool.
Don’t forget the naked bongos.
That goes without saying.
Almost done teaching this awful night class. I see fireworks upon the horizon
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O9wW9ENBPlQ
One of those knobs goes to twenty!
When you factor in Canadian/US currency, that equals 11
Thanks nafta.
My god, this song is so Canadian:
If there’s a goal that everyone remembers
It was back in old seventy two
We all squeezed the stick and we all pulled the trigger
And all I remember is sitting beside you
You said you didn’t give a fuck about hockey
And I never saw someone say that before
You held my hand and we walked home the long way
You were loosening my grip on Bobby Orr
Only song of theirs I liked. I’m more of a 54-40 fan.
I said on Facebook that they were a band MuchMusic made famous, and then closed it down for the day. Ill eat their rage tomorrow.
54-40 is uniquely BC. How can you not like those guys if you’re from the Best Coast.
If this were any more Canadian it would turn into this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=49njExwmbEg
So exactly how many times has The Shooter, stahing Mahkie Mahk, been on basic cable?
Yes.
So, all of them?
Not as often as Shawshank Redemption.
Good call, I think that was even on Nickelodeon last Tuesday.
I’m trying to think of the Nickelodeon version of Shawshank and what would get censored. It’s probably hilarious.
It’s 15 minutes long, and just Red watching movies & eating in the cafeteria.
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DMb5AkuW4AENGss?format=jpg&name=small
THIS REPLAY I CALL IT BUDDY’S FRESHMAN YEAR OF HIGH SCHOOL BECAUSE IT’S SLOW, AWKWARD, AND LEADS TO BEING OUTED
Holy fuckballz I just went “all Senor” by accident.
Note to self: Just because it’s a store brand hot sauce doesn’t mean it’s not still potentially pretty fucking hot.
Jesus, I think my esophagus is combusting.
So, not from Texas?
You never go full Senor! Unless you’re Senor! Or Nomonkeyfun with me at the Expo! Or… someone else with me at the Expo next year!
Anyway, what is the name of this sauce?
I humbly request to add myself to the list.
Ultra Mega Death and me are regular pals.
Literally, it’s the store brand. I keep a big bottle for flavoring soups/stews while cooking and it was all I had tonight. Food Lion store brand hot sauce.
Had never been that hot before so I kinda overdid the amount.
Huh. Weird.
You think it’s bad going IN…
Hold the fuck up. There were some good shows mentioned in those promos.
70’s show, the grinder (hilarious BTW), dark angel (JESSICA FUCKING ALBA FOLKS), and American Idol (fuck that show but it was good for Fox)
Also, they left out the Fringe bumper where they had one of the Watchers in the crowd:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5jEGVTAADHM
I may watch too much TV
Wasn’t Dark Angel too dimly shot to matter that it was Jessica Alba at like 19?
Not to me
Hmm. I never watched it when it aired, so I guess I’m off to YouTube.
I never watched the Watchers.
Was “According to Jim” there? What did Jim think?
I didn’t watch the whole thing.
Ok, I did and that was not in there.
Full disclosure, I wasn’t a Hip fan until about 4 years ago. As a teen, I thought Downie’s voice was too whiny and I thought they were over-played. Once they stepped out of the limelight and their stuff came on once in a while, I started to notice how good and just how bloody Canadian the lyrics were and grew to like them. Anyway, here’s my current favorite Hip song
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R_1j4xRDDV4
Fuller disclosure: I have no idea who the people y’all are mourning were. Obviously, they meant a lot to y’all and I’m sorry for your loss.
The band didn’t export well, but sold out hockey arenas and festivals here since I was in my teens.
Hit up yoo-toob for The Hundredth Meridian, the closest thing they had to a hit in Canadia’s basement. Damned fun song.
Don’t Wake Daddy and Ahead by a Century were pretty excellent too.
Wheat Kings, Poets.
If I hadn’t watched the rest of this series, I would think 2 runs across would be enough.
Whooooo! double homeruns!
Time for some Vietnam on the dvr.
Next up….Let’s see what you got, LBJ!!!!
(spoiler alert)
oh well, at least he still had his really huge penis
Ol jumbo brought all the ladybirds to the yard.
Things are bigger in Tejas. Ppl forget that…
Fake as Hell, too, it seems.
/willing to await additional data points before passing judgement
It just seems like the editing is gratuitous or just bad.
I’ll be back in 45 seconds…
I steer Texas? I mean I guess those could be the face that launched a thousand ships. Well, maybe a little lower than face.
Why is this prude wearing a bra?
And panties no less, guess that means she still can’t outrun her stepdad.
Oh man, that Ken Burns’ Vietnam special has been awfully apologetic and morally obtuse
^^^^^^^^
Small Bears touchdown!
BOOOOOOOOOO
/Gonna just read some more of my Everton book and fittingly, bitterly fall asleep
//don’t miss the big Everton/Lyon Europa fixture 3p EST tomorry
I hate the Dirt RAMMITS moar than any other team.
Still bummed about Lahey. Also, greetings, cheesdicks.
Lahey AND Gord Downie. Canada is on suicide watch.
Does this look like a man who should be making any rational decisions at the moment?
https://cdn.newsapi.com.au/image/v1/4f7d9b36f9ff4cba62dfda77d2f0ba38?width=650
I am 41, and was completely gutted when I heard this morning. I remember when each album came out, when they did their farewell tour 15 of us went to the show just to say thanks.
Really hope they don’t try to make any more episodes (beyond a tribute/funeral episode) without him.
Whats good WCS!
For all the people griping that the President promised some guy $25k in condolence money and didn’t pay up, I’ll have you know that he DID pay up. As for the fact that the check only just went out today…no, YOU’RE the incredible coincidence.
Until the check clears, and even after because he’s a piece of shit, he’s still going to be nothing but a worthless fucking deadbeat loser.
Why do I always have to be right and everyone else wrong? It’s a burden I didn’t ask for, like my good looks or my gigantic cock. Do me a favor and just agree, and stop staring at me.
[looks away from Brick’s giant crotch in embarrassment]
Sir, this is a youth center. You’ve been told this before. AND WHERE ARE YOUR PANTS GODDAMNIT?!
Hahahah
My friend used to ride the BART in san francisco to work and read this! Obviously got some looks….
Did he make sure to “accidentally” drop a Magnum condom that he needs for his monster dong?
Well Brick if you weren’t walking around this locker room without a towel like we were at the Y we wouldnt be staring.
This game is starting too late.
And get off mah lawn.
Did you remember to record, I mean tape, 60 Minutes?
“What’s the deal with VCR codes? I can never get my colored help to figure them out to record Matlock.”
/Technically in quotes, I didn’t say it
You know modern technology only makes them uppity, right?
I don’t think they should be called “mixed” nuts when it’s 90% peanuts. I bought a can and I separated them out.
/actual segment i remember
I don’t need you to tell me what happened to the Brazil Nuts.
I thought I was old. I remember that too for some unknown reason, it was an Andy Rooney segment.
It’s not quite the tweaker game, but I agree.
(In?)sane hockey rule change idea: if you score in a 4 on 4 or 3 on 3 situation, your guy comes out of the box early and you get a powerplay.
Even better rule change: in addition to the penalty boxes, add a guillotine.
You can leave the box at any time you want, but watch out for the whirling blades.
and we get to see the gusher bounce across the ice, to organ music!
Stupid fucking goddamn no-good asshole can’t hit bullshit Astros. Blew a 2-0 lead against the Yankees and now have to fight for their lives in 2 games. Fuck. Damn. Hell. Booger.
Don’t hold it in. You’re among friends here. Go ahead & tell us how you really feel.
I know you’re kidding, but…
I will readily admit that I’m a total homer fairweather fan of the Astros. I’m a native Houstonian, so when they do well I’m proud, but when they suck I don’t much care (as opposed to my Texans fandom, which is 100% 16-0 or 0-16).
But this sucks, fairweather fan or not. They’re one of the best-hitting teams in baseball and can’t manage jack-goddamn-shit for offensive production. It’s beyond pathetic and exactly what I expected as a Houston fan.
At least we have Deshaun Watson. He’s so fucking good and I’m terrified he’s gonna get broken.
Deshaun Watson is the definition of pleasant surprise. The surprise is not that he is good. Rather, that he is still alive and hasn’t been ruined by starting so soon.
I’m a few hours south of H-Town (which is never said by anyone from Houston) and not a huge based-balls homer, but I was the Astros #1 FAN! when they went up against the Sawx and won. That was my World Series.
Whoa whoa whoa.
What the fuck are the “Texans”?
It’s this…
Well…
They’re a…
God, how do I put this?
A football? Team? I think?
This was indeed some bullshit. Colt 45s shoulda left Devenski in during Game 4.
Thoughts and prayers (seriously) to our Canadian brethren. Losing Jim Lahey and Gord Downie within a few dozen hours of each other is one hell of a punch to the gut. I’ll miss them both.
Gord Downie was the soundtrack to me growing up. A true icon.
That fucking sucks. The Hundredth Meridian was one of the greatest air guitar songs ever created. Highly underrated band.
The Hip were one of those bands that totally flew under my radar for years, until I discovered them in my early 20s. Damn, they’re a good band. A real shame to lose Gord.
And losing Jim “Shit-[insert noun here]” Lahey is a bummer too. Trailer Park Boys is classic TV.
A lifetime of wanking has thus far only resulted in a mild case of trigger finger. I find this highly disconcerting.
At least there’s no permanent chafing or scarring.
Not on my hand at least…
Break out the brooms!
First MLB game was fun! about 6 beers in. My roommate is a big yankees fan. Whooooo!
Come on CUBS!
Due to my envy, fuck you.
/Whooooooooo!
I’m paying for DirecTV to watch the Cubs game on this flight. How big of a sucker am I on a scale from Geena Davis with the metal plate over her mouth in Beetlejuice to Houston in the Houston 500?
I wish that the Texans were called th 500’s. Hell I am going to start calling them the 500’s.
DONE!
The “Under 500s” has a nice ring to it. Hehe
Apparently it was more like 620 instead of 500 when all was said and done.
Dear lord. I just cannot fathom that.
ppl forget all pornos are numbered in base 6 though
Makes sense. Want to make sure at least 500 count after the audit.
Did they all finish? That is a hell of a clean up.
Well, I don’t think I have to clear my Chrome search history, but maybe?
We got Mega Maid over here, folks.
I cannot think of the last time a bad thing happened to a bad person. Justice is a lie and everything sucks.
“Justice is a lie and everything sucks ” sounds like Morrissey’s new album.
Have I mentioned how much I despise Seven Nation Army today?
I am trying to make a Lisfranc injury joke reference to the trapper keepers, but I’m drawing nothing but psychedelic and neon doodles.
I feel like Eddie Lacy, I just ordered food and have to say I love China food
I don’t think any show will ever top this.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5IhWBW7uC6Y
E to the K of the Senators is gonna win the Norris this year. Just like an abacus, this is something you can count on.
Sorry. “ERIK KARLSSON IS WINNING THE NORRIS TROPHY THIS YEAR!” Are you deaf?
The wanking motion always makes me think of this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BkgMbU-we1o
You never finish!
I had a change of heart on Louis CK a few years ago (I don’t hate him. I just don’t care. Funny enough, I think his series is to blame), but the joke about making people who do that discussion motion have to finish is still pretty funny.
Also, wrt the tag, Joe Buck would NEVAR agree to judge a wet T-shit contest that didn’t involve Derek Jeter.
So Americas most wanted terrorists. If this show was only in America and “it starts with Osama Bin Laden” how the hell would someone in the same country as Osama see this?
Right now I’m identifying as a guy that finished his work day at 3:30 eastern and then proceeded to get really stinking drunk. I’d really appreciate it if you didn’t judge me.
You should have started earlier. Loser.
“I’m a Boozer, baby. Why don’t you kill me?”
Can I applaud you?
Lizard people.
Greetings, “human,” hehe.
At least Los Dodgeros are on the verge of sweeping the Evil Small Bears. It could always be worse.
Boooooo
Agree with your last sentence though
Colt 45s you had one jerb!!
Also, another day, another (real) fucking outrage:
http://talkingpointsmemo.com/edblog/he-shouldnt-be-president
The pathological liar, deadbeat loser in chief made a promise he didn’t keep? I’m shocked, SHOCKED.