Your “Maybe Look In The Mirror, St. Eligius” Tuesday Evening Open Thread

I guess I owe Pete & Blair a big ‘Thank You’. Due to their individual field goaling abilities, it looks like I won’t have to pay for Seahawks playoff tickets this season. Unless RAMMIT! somehow chokes away their one-game lead.

(PLEASE, no Ron Howard voice.)

NFL News:

  • JuJu Smith-Schuster has a soft hammy, and may sit out this weekend’s game versus the Packers.
    • They won’t need him, and Martavis Bryant can use the extra reps as a an audition for that huge contract he’s pining for that he won’t get from the Steelers.
  • Datone Jones has managed to play for three teams so far this season, and is looking for a fourth due to being cut by the Niners yesterday.
    • He’s suited up for the Vikings, Lions & Niners this year.
  • Ken Norton Jr. has been fired by the Raiders.
    • He’s been replaced as DC by John Pagano, Chick’s brother.
  • Good Bears news: Zach Miller has been released from a New Orleans hospital & is returning home to Chicago to rehabilitate.
    • He’s still in hospital, as doctors continue to monitor the artery that got torn when he dislocated his kneecap.

Finally, nfl.com goes in a little hard on John Elway, talking about how the draft classes he’s presided over are more responsible for the Broncos being “soft” than the players themselves.

  • Specifically, they note how Peyton Manning was a stroke of fortune rather than genius. If that hadn’t happened, Tebow might still be a Bronco instead of a Met.

Vance Joseph, who clearly doesn’t want to get fired, agreed with his boss:

He’s watched every meeting. He’s watched every practice. He watches every game. When he said that, I was initially offended. But in some aspects, he’s right. When you’ve lost that many games in a row, you have to do things in a tougher manner.

Von Miller, who clearly has better things to do, followed up on the coach’s assessment:

He’s the head guy. His comments—he’s the boss. That’s what he said. He said it. I was kind of taken back by it, which you should. If you have any type of emotion about you, your reaction should be ‘What? I’m not soft?’ But, if you take a look back at it, the truth is that’s what we’ve been putting out there. That’s the type of team that we’ve developed into. That’s what we got. It’s the truth. He’s telling the truth.

However, and forgive the rambling observation but I need to pad this thread a tad, the Donks defense only gave up 13 points against the Bengals – a 99-yard pick-6 was the rest – so they did their job. This is what brings the focus back on High Lord Elway and his inability to determine a viable QB option going forward from, really, the time of his takeover. Because the former heir apparent, Brock Osweiler, turned out to be a giant turd, and the future heir apparent, Paxton Lynch, the apparent starter this Sunday versus the Raiders, is hurt all the time. Last I checked, no one trusts Aqib Talib to throw anything.

To piece together a conclusion from several paragraphs of David Ramsey’s column in the Colorado Springs Gazette, because his words sound angrier than my apathy can muster, this is a team severely lacking in offensive weapons. This is a franchise let down by Elway, its godfather and greatest hero. Elway went – can we say it? – a little soft in the offseason. He designed a team destined for disaster. His mistakes, and they are many, have tormented Broncos fans during six straight losses. His mistakes produced several thousand empty seats on Sunday. It can be fixed; the only issues are personnel and time.


Tonight’s sports:

  • NHL:
    • Canucks at Flyers – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
    • Oilers at Blues – 8:00PM | NBCSN / Sportsnet Prairies
  • Futbol:
    • MLS Soccer Playoff:
      • Columbus Crew SC vs. Toronto FC (Leg 1) – 8:00PM | ESPN / TSN
      • Houston Dynamo vs. Seattle Sounders (Leg 1) – 9:30PM | FS1 / TSN (10:00)
  • NBA:
    • Bulls at Lakers – 10:30PM | Sportsnet1
  •  NCAA:
    • Football:
      • Kent State at Akron – 7:00PM | ESPNU
    • Hoops:
      • A Maui Invitational consolation semifinal:
        • Chaminade vs. Michigan – 8:00PM | ESPN2
        • Notre Dame vs. LSU – 10:30PM | ESPN
  • WWE:
    • SmackDown – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360

Hey Elway, remember Job 39:19 – Hast thou given the horse strength? hast thou clothed his neck with thunder? Your choices makes your team’s future. TEBOW COULD’VE TOLD YOU THAT!

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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ballsofsteelandfury
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Thing I learned today: Lady BFC was unfamiliar with the Crash Test Dummies Mmmm Mmmm Mmmmmmmm Mmmmmmmm

theeWeeBabySeamus

Lucky her.

Even in Canadia, I still have no idea how those guys ever got off the ground.
Horrible, horrible music-ing.

I guess moose are tone deaf.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Holy shit. I do remember you writing about that now.

Wow.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Just landed at LaGuardia. This place sucks.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’ve been to JFK. I knew JFK.
You, LaGuardia, are no JFK.

(you young dicks won’t get that probably)

ballsofsteelandfury

Well Tis!

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Senor Weaselo

Yes. Yes it does. And the Grand Central going home was ONE FUCKING LANE until there. It shouldn’t take me 10 minutes to get on the highway at 10:30 at night!

Senor Weaselo

On a related note I’m not picking you up.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

You sonuvabitch

Lady BFC’s mom has picked us up at departures. We have moved about 10 car lengths in 10 minutes.

Senor Weaselo

That sounds accurate for this time of night getting out at LaGuardia. Possibly even speedy!

theeWeeBabySeamus

@ShogunMarcus…

You and your peeps at your school have classes tomorrow? My niece’s does not and I never remember having the Wed before Thanksgiving off when I was a kid.

/realizes this sounds like old man yelling at clouds

ballsofsteelandfury

The kids here in LA have this whole week off!

theeWeeBabySeamus

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theeWeeBabySeamus

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Yup, still bored and food won’t be ready for a bit.

Mr. Ayo

Oh there you are. Please wait here for yourself.

Shogun Marcus

Nicely done. U can haz werd reeds!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Did I say where I went?

Mr. Ayo

Dave will fill you in.

theeWeeBabySeamus

That’s what I’m afraid of.
One shouldn’t turn one’s back on Dave.
😛

Shogun Marcus

How I feel after 6 straight hours of 5K art classes.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Alrighty, it’s after 11pm so I should probably go cook dinner.

Thanks for making me laugh, ppl. I was in a shitty mood before.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Awwwww, thanks interwebz. UR teh bestest. And u have great taste.
xoxo
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WCS

Ron Howard voice: No one liked him.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Fuck you, Ron. Even if you are correct.

Brick Meathook

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.

rockingdog

Someone should make a new kind of beverage and call it Love Juice.
But what kind of drink would it be? Sports Drink? Soda? …….Juice?
Beer? After workout drink?

Mr. Ayo

Isn’t that Spanish fly juice?

blaxabbath

Fortified wine.

ballsofsteelandfury

Monster

ballsofsteelandfury

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Lo-Carb (2nd from left top row) and the coffees (any of them) are like crack.
And my fridge is stocked full always with both.

Shogun Marcus

Coffees, Rehabs, and every so often juice (the new mango, not pictured, is tasty). Ooh and the Ultra Purple (not pictured) tastes EXACTLY like Pixy Stix.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Love Juice? Gimme a few minutes.

WELL I CAN’T DO IT WITH YOU WATCHING!!!!

ballsofsteelandfury

Amateur…

theeWeeBabySeamus

Planning to go pro, are you?
No way I’m sponsoring that.

No tWBS face for this guy’s privates.
He’s on his own. In more ways that one. (that’s a masturbation joke)

Mr. Ayo

Did someone say vagina?

h
ttps://78.media.tumblr.com/0aa30f754a94d382ff5afccb4f436016/tumblr_ozsv9jRlGs1wihdu0o1_540.jpg

NAWT SAFE FOR WORK!

NO ONE DENIES THIS!

ballsofsteelandfury

INDEED!

theeWeeBabySeamus

I can confirm…this IS a NSFW vajayjay.
And more, I guess.

ballsofsteelandfury

AND MORE!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Start with the pinky.
It’s the polite thing to do.

ballsofsteelandfury

True. Gotta work your way up.

theeWeeBabySeamus

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Fronkenshteen

Is tomorrow Josh Gordon’s first day back at practice?

blaxabbath

Expected the browns to pick up Darryl Washington. Figured the metrics were all about huge upsides with low risk.

Fronkenshteen

I’m rooting for the guy. I’m a fuck-up, too.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Why do all these pardoned folk look alike?
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theeWeeBabySeamus

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theeWeeBabySeamus

OK fine, they don’t really look alike.
The turkey actually has a neck.

Mr. Ayo

He only pardoned the white meat

rockingdog

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Romonobyl

I bid you all a good eve with one more moose-inspired Emily Shaw. Peace upon your abode(s).

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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rockingdog

What movie is this from?

rockingdog

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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litre_cola

That would be just lovely.

blaxabbath

Once you’re cut from the 49ers, you’re only option is #THEPAULS. And you know they aren’t looking to upgrade anything through free agency.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Evening folks and folkettes.

I’M BORED LET’S BREAK SOME SHIT!!!!!

herodotus450

“Way ahead of you.”
-Political Party of your choice.
/But we all know who it really is.

WCS

DAMN YOU RALPH NADER

herodotus450

Remember when Strom Thurmond ran for president with a political party whose platform was centered on re-segregating the south? And remember when he had VASTLY more support than Nader (surprise surprise it’s mostly from Alabama)? And remember how even though he lost he was a senator for like 50 years? OH AND MEMBER how he had an illegitimate child with one of his black maids? (I wonder if he segregated his sex positions).
I remember… not being surprised at anything that comes out of alabama.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Strom Thurmond represented South Carolina in the Senate

Beastmode Ate My Baby

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theeWeeBabySeamus

See? Way more fun than drying them and putting them away, right?

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Pretty much my preferred method, really.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Romonobyl

Gotta get the piggy shoulder prepped to go in the oven when I get up at FOUR O’CLOCK IN THE FUCKING MORNING to do that capitalism thing. Y’all be cool.

Gratliff

After 5 years of starting at 5 am, including one of which that was outdoors through a northern Michigan winter, I would murder any man who told me I couldn’t come in to work when I felt like it.

rockingdog

Who is excited to use Cornucopia in a sentence?
EveryBoy say HeyYea!!!!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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rockingdog

Alex Trebek: It’s often referred to as the single greatest invention of the last century.

Me: *buzzes in* What is the hotdog roller at 7-Eleven?

litre_cola

Doubles as taquito warmer.

Romonobyl

I knew a guy that worked in a convenience store, said he’s found a mouse stuck in the roller-grill more than once.
Ruined that shit for you, didn’t I?

litre_cola

Nope, corndogs now with extra plague!

theeWeeBabySeamus

tWBS IS A MEDICAL NERD ALERT!!!!!!!

Actually, the transmission of Yersinia Pestis (from both the fleas and the mouse) on the little roller-grill would be all but halted by the heat.

So eat that little furry fucker with confidence!!!!!

blaxabbath

Not even. We know what we’re getting into with that choice every. single. time.

rockingdog

I wonder if Divorce Lawyers make good wedding guests?

Romonobyl

Sounds like barratry to me.

...

I don’t know if WWE will ever do it, but if they have an Extremely Online gimmick for a wrestler, his finisher needs to be called The Ratio.

Gratliff

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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At least work is going well.

herodotus450

Never knew TE Lawrence ever even GOT to Buffalo…

rockingdog

Just saw an eagle swoop down and pick up a baby bunny, so cute when animals are friends!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Romonobyl

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Gratliff

Eagles don’t get the proper amount of hate they deserve

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Romonobyl

Spoken like a true Cowboys fan! Welcome my brother!!!

rockingdog

Hahahahah!

Romonobyl

ONE OF US!!! ONE OF US!!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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...

If that’s a Ram being tossed to its death, we might call this one FOREBODING.

Gratliff

It’s a goat. Eagles over Pats in the SB CONFIRMED.

litre_cola

That would give me ALL the pleasure.

WCS

Things around here suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. Frankly, by now, I’m too drunk to contribute anything helpful here.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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rockingdog

USA USA!
She would have made a great spy during WW2.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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ballsofsteelandfury

INITIATE SNU-SNU!

ballsofsteelandfury

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Romonobyl

Like a fine bottle of wine…

ballsofsteelandfury

Yup. She’s amazing.

Romonobyl

I can only imagine the ways I would disappoint her.

ballsofsteelandfury

Me too, bud. Me too.

Romonobyl

Couldn’t help but GIS that. She likes to get nekkid!!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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litre_cola

This looks awfully familiar to me.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yeah, like you ever get on top.
Lazy fuck (literally).

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I think he means the pug.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yes.

litre_cola

Yes please.

rockingdog

Yo!

ballsofsteelandfury

“Femputer sentences them to DEATH…BY SNU-SNU!!”

litre_cola

So what time tomorrow does everyone start leaving work early for you lot? You have this one nailed, 4 day weekend.

Gratliff

I’m the only one who didn’t think to actually put in for time tomorrow. I’m literally the only person in my department who’s going to be there. On the bright side, since it’s education, they’re locking the doors at 3, so it’s 2 hours early anyway.

litre_cola

For 11 years I have always taken a half day on your thanksgiving so I can watch football at the bar with my buddies at 10:30 in the morning.

Romonobyl

Just for that, I think I’ll take off Boxing Day.

Gratliff

I too shall honor the fisticuffs

Romonobyl

The powers dat be launched a preemptive strike and has us coming in at 0500 AM in the morning.
They will definitely not get their money’s worth from me, but they rarely do.

Gratliff

Thanksgiving Eve is truly the day of podcasts and sports blogs.

Brick Meathook

As a fully qualified brain surgeon my dedication doesn’t allow vacations, but I’ve got a golf tournament starting tomorrow so I’ll just have the weekend kid cover all of my shifts.

blaxabbath

Really?

blaxabbath

Our manager is smoking (starting like 4a) so the whole day is slow but crews get in about 2p. We eat and bullshit and drink then Office people peel out about 3-3:30. I’m out shortly after; how long the party goes after that is a ?.

But my day will be late start bc hitting our tucson Office first. All that driving will be about a wasted day but it’s better than just checking if it’s food time yet for 7 hours.

ballsofsteelandfury

“OH YOUR GOD”

ballsofsteelandfury

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Beastmode Ate My Baby

Yes. What? I…lost my train of thought.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Googlebing Emily Shaw to get “back on track”…….

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Damn you…damn you all to hell!!!

ballsofsteelandfury

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Romonobyl

You’d think that hat would keep her warm.

Wakezilla

That’s a toque!

ballsofsteelandfury

“She’s built like a steakhouse, but handles like a bistro”

...

I just saw someone posting another one of those “What do Trump voters think of him now?” pieces and it was trying to pass off Rust Belt as White Working Class and nearly all of the people they featured were relatively well off folks who have always voted Republican and always will because “muh stuff.”

Plus, they all look like potatoes.

ballsofsteelandfury

“I find the most erotic part of a woman is the boobies”

Romonobyl

Nice, but I’m more of a philtrum man myself.

Gratliff

Jesus Christ. Did FOX make a white Soul Plane?

...

Guh. Stuff sucks.

Romonobyl

Even me?

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...

That’s a very sad looking cat. 🙁

Romonobyl

Better?

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...

*screams*

rockingdog

Comedy night! Brian Regan.
Speed it up to 1.25 speed…..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=beY2Je9fXy8

Gratliff

Another night of choosing between Flyera failure and the show with men in underwear grinding on each other where the current champion is a real life Christian fundamentalist. It’s just like Congress!

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ballsofsteelandfury

RTD is off the grid but wanted to make sure we all raised a glass tonight to the 5 year anniversary of the Buttfumble.

Huzzah!!

litre_cola

Whoa thin slate tonight. Perhaps catch up on Netflix. Halfway through Chapo, soon I will take over the world.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

“Not the first time that sonuvabitch went soft”
–Mrs Elway

scotchnaut

It was quite some time ago. We were in White Plains, NY visiting her cousin and we went out to a bar and got silly drunk-we staggered home singing this tune as best we could under the circumstances. We’d done a walking tour of Manhattan the day before. Our feet were sore. We thought we had “these walking blues”.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uf4YyXVoWeA

ballsofsteelandfury

Giving up 13 points to a team with AJ Green is not soft. The Bungles may kill themselves with stupid penalties and may allow a lot of points on defence, but they’re perfectly capable of putting up 30 on anyone.

herodotus450

On an by the way:
https://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2017/11/fcc-will-also-order-states-to-scrap-plans-for-their-own-net-neutrality-laws/
But what happened to States’ Rights? I thought this was the party of the little guy?

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Huh, I had no idea that Akron’s team name is the Zippers, or Zips for short.

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Named, of course, for the sneakers made by JD Goodwrench in the area back in the 20’s.

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ballsofsteelandfury

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JustStopDude

Live casting from ETSU where my sister is a professor. I am drunk. I am watching the practice of a woodwind quartet…if that is the term. Flutist, English horn, bassoonist, oboe, clarinet.

Six years in a steam plant, 8 years in steel mill mills, a life time of hard rock….the flutist is both off key and out of sequence with the rest of the ensemble.

Also, three people have told ke the VA hospital is down the road (they think I am homeless).

The things I do for familym

blaxabbath

Interesting….

rockingdog

Hey guys. Looks like the FCC is getting after it….https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2017/nov/21/net-neutrality-rules-to-be-ditched-as-expected-fcc-decision-sparks-protests
Im curious how this is gonna play out.

rockingdog

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herodotus450

The FCC (the current one at least) has already said that they will not be swayed by comments, no matter how many there are
https://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2017/07/ajit-pai-not-concerned-about-number-of-pro-net-neutrality-comments

ArmedandHammered

Of course not. He is being bribed, I mean paid, not to listen to anyhing his paymasters don’t want him to hear.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

But tell me again why Democrats are the worst

/sorry, Balls
//not really sorry
///should apologize to my own balls, though

ballsofsteelandfury

I think they’re all horrible.