NFL News:
- Pete Carroll confirmed what most of us already knew: Kam Chancellor is not returning in 2017.
- The neck injury is just too bad.
- Mike McCarthy defended Mason Crosby’s attempted record of a field goal attempt, a decision which help the Steelers get back into the game Sunday night.
- The first words of a man on the hot seat: “That’s the right decision.”
- Some guy got himself arrested for flying a drone over both the 49ers game and the Raiders game in the same afternoon.
- He was trying to drop anti-media pamphlets into the crowds.
- It was a just a note with a red “X” on it that was accompanied by a “lengthy text talking about the first amendment,” according to ABC7 News.
- The winds blew them all away.
- He was trying to drop anti-media pamphlets into the crowds.
In case you missed it yesterday on ESPN2, nothing was more Canadian than the 105th Grey Cup
- Outdoors in November,
- Snowy conditions,
- A 100 year-old trophy above a $50 base,
- Justin Trudeau,
- and Shania Twain riding a dogsled to the stage & escorted up by Mounties.
We have been promised a “Boots On The Ground” report, just as soon as the author thaws out & sobers up.
Game Preview: Houston at Baltimore
A game that must have looked good when the schedule was announced instead one team missing it’s elite defence (again) versus the other team which is in need of a elite quarterback.
Houston might have been able to survive the season without Watt had they not also lost DeShaun Watson, which might just be further proof that this franchise’s existence angers the gods and they should either be contracted or relocated before further damage is done to the Houston sports scene. Blowing up both the offence and defence is a bold strategy, and is not something usually recommended by today’s NFL game planners. Right about now Bill O’Brien must be thinking that the Tennessee Volunteers job looks pretty sweet, especially given the mess they’ve made of hiring a new coach.
On the Baltimore side of things, they are playing for the #6 seed in the AFC, and they stand a cromulent chance of achieving that goal, so long as the AFC West continues to be a garbage fire, and the teams under New England in the AFC East seem determined to run away from ever challenging the Patriots while Tom Brady is still walking upright. If the Ravens can stumble their way to 9-7, that should ensure they get an away playoff date against the winner of the AFC South. But first, they have to win tonight to keep pace with the…Bills?!
Woof – what’s RAW building towards?
Tonight’s sports:
- Monday Night Football:
- Houston Texans at Baltimore Ravens – 8:15PM | ESPN / TSN
- NHL:
- Flyers at Penguins – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
- NBA:
- Cavs at 76ers – 7:00Pm | Sportsnet1
- Lakers at Clippers – 10:30PM | Sportsnet1
- NCAA:
- Men’s basketball:
- Maryland at Syracuse – 7:00PM | ESPN2
- Eastern Illinois at Marquette – 8:00PM | FS1
- Wisconsin at Virginia – 9:00PM | ESPN2
- Men’s basketball:
- WWE:
- Monday Night Raw – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360
Thanks to the Rams beating the Saints, the Seahawks remain one game back of the NFC West lead. So far, I have not received a missive asking for a playoff deposit. KEEP THAT MONEY IN MY POCKET, RAMMIT!
Patty Mills, hunter-gatherer-baller
The Wood Giants are doing a great job to make this lost look respectable. It’s only a 12-point game now!
Savage Derp.
Awesome timing too. Here’s some “vintage” footage of Watson doing his thing, cut back to live and Savage throws an INT.
One of my least favorite things about Christmas season? Holiday Specials (especially the musical type).
“Yeah, 11 months out of the year we molest actresses and sell overly patriotic propaganda to #silentmajority, but — hey guys — can’t we all just play holier than thou for a few weeks while we deliver terrible renditions of songs that are so naturally bad that even church only plays them two weeks a year?”
I have a acquaintance who is doing one of them Broadway holiday revue shows. It did not get a good review. Also considering they’re here for another couple weeks, I should see if we can do lunch! Eh, it’s been a while.
“Here comes Tucker who…its hard to explain just how good he is”
He is a fucking kicker in the NFL. One could easily argue is one of the easiest position in all of sports to describe in simple statistical terms.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O_05qJTeNNI
Damn, apparently Amari Cooper also sprained his ankle when he got knocked out yesterday
Never seen a dude’s neck crushed so badly that his ankle hurt.
But that was a serious hit.
Ankle bone’s connected to the… leg bone?
So i can bench him with confidence, nice.
Can someone explain to me why all the coaches are dressed up like hunters?
They’re trying for a military look. Emphasis on “trying”.
They should honor other military members aside from the camouflage-wearing variety. Some aviator flight suits, some Marine Corps dress blues, and US Navy crackerjack uniforms.
I would wear the emblems of local bases. E.g. Bengals wear Wright-Patt Air Force Base.
Now that domestic violence and breast cancer have been solved, they’ve moved on to military appreciation, with absolutely, positively, no financial kickbacks this time!
Am holding out hope a War on Christmas awareness week.
Military Appreciation Month. They’re hunting Taliban.
“Because America”
-America
Because victory must be stalked and slain!
The camo doesn’t really work. You would think that the NFL would want them in fluorescent to take attention away from the kneelers.
Birth of a QB Controversy: Quarterback vs. Punter
That wasn’t Wallace.
Nice call, beta Harbaugh
He should really fuck with them by having Flacco drop punt the ball for a field goal on 2nd down.
Of course the fucking punter is the only one that can complete a fucking pass…
Koch goes long.
Discuss.
Those old bastards still won’t die, so, yeah.
It’s all the cerebrospinal fluid from the aborted third trimester babies. Goes great with absinthe.
Way to quit on the route!
Fuck ’em. Newspaper is dead.
My team lost to Baltimore in Week 1. Did the Ravens get worse or something?
The Browns are hot fucking garbage…that said they are routinely NOT the worst team every week.
Why do we do this to ourselves? This game is the equivalent of a cokehead trying to freebase a rock with like 75% baking soda in it. Fuck.
That’s still 25% coke, though.
It’s all about volume, volume, volume.
Somebody prefers curves
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2OKwRsnWO84
How goes the game? Worth turning on, or should I go back to packing up all my winter stuff for storage?
I could only imagine a snow storm on the streets of San Fran. Hilarity would ensue.
Yeah, I kinda want it to happen so I can walk around in my fancy winter boots and act all calm and superior
All would perish. Light Rain takes out the power ffs.
Keep packing. The mediocrity is astounding.
Do the packing thing.
Great stop by the Raven’s D to set the offense up for a quality 3 and out.
This could just be in my head, but is there a worst team on Monday Night Football?
Other than like a long ass time ago against the Redacteds on MNF, it seems like the Ravens ALWAYS shit the bed, no matter how good they are or how shitty their opponents are.
I remember Miami being like 0-14 and they slaughter the Ravens in Baltimore on MNF…but I could be remembering all of this wrong.
Miami will always have 85 when they beat Da Bears though.
Camarillo game?
Poor trigger discipline
I told you man, it was just a one time thing.
I was tired and had had too much to drink.
I’m okay with this
The creepy ass shit about this…the decorations in the background. This moron has kids.
Fuck, I didn’t even notice that until now. No no no no.
A man can only take so much Campfire Song Song
FIRMLY GRASP IT!
4 safety rules and this cheesedick is violating all of them.
Y u do dis to patrick?
See? We don’t need to do an IQ test for getting a gun. Just let natural selection play itself out.
The Spongbob theme in the background makes me think he has already bred…which is terrifying to me.
Worse…what if he hasn’t?
Good evening commentists, I hope you are well. May Wallace get 60 yards and I am in 1st place alone in my $$$ ff.
There’s going to be a fight some time tonight.
What did I do? I’m just trying to watch a game!
On the field, in the stands, or in the parking lot?
Yes.
make sure you tape down your gold chains.
Folks. Make sure you have your Commentist fingers going hard, because I’ve lost my voice today and I need lots of text to compensate.
/no, not compensating like THAT, jackass
Oh it’s har…I mean yes, ok, you got it. Fingers. Yes.
No worries, Maestro. I’m always hard when I’m commenting.
http://i.imgflip.com/zjx5f.jpg
Parker looks good. has a burst. I think i’m in tears.
I actually had to work today and missed most of this, am suppose to be sad for Greg Schiano? What tone deaf talking head is pushing this angle?
Peter King
There is no one to be sad for. Fans are lying if they say it’s only cuz Paedo state. It’s cuz they don’t think he’s good. They’ve also made it toxic for anyone else who might consider the gig. Schiano still keeps his jorb, and vols admin continues looking inept.
There is only one answer, and it is Fetushead.
I am liking the Ravens doing their “Salute to Penalties” on this series.
Support the Frags!
Respect the Frags
Come on, Palpably Unfair Act!
I still can’t believe they call the Houston team the “Texans”. Just call them the Oilers.
I thinks the Adams family has to die first.
The way I see it, he left the town, he should forfeit all rights to the name and colors. They should revert to the city.
With the old unis.
Oh, come on! You don’t hit your finishing move at the beginning of the match. He’ll kick out!
Why again don’t they allow the play to play out? If the defense can’t count, the offense should get a free play.
Evening Folks.
We could watch the Texans game or NBATV – Mavs vs. Spurs. Tony Parker’s 1st game back. I’m going with Spurs
Also our Maple syrup blog leader should really start looking at the full sports counter programming, not just what the Tim Horton’s is playing in the lobby.
Seeing Parker on the floor is warming the cockles of my heart. Kawhi soon!
Hey! I look at the national broadcasts for all major networks. I just suppose most don’t have NBATV or NHLN.
A punt in the first minute? Do we win a door prize or coupon?
Remember how I said watching the Wood Giants was improvement? Maybe not considering they’re down 16 at the half.
Thanks to LemonJello, I won’t get this out of my freaking head for days now.
Jerk.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BQrJUjyDSHI
I actually prefer this cover.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D_TGGgkCLD8
You’re welcome
So I switched to ESPN expecting football and I got a kid practicing an Irish Jig. Can I have context, please?
Trumps America.
I’m pretty certain in Trumps America that kid would be sent to Reeducation Camp or shot.
This is the second time I’ve seen the segment. Some player does it for footwork practice or something.
I know the car came first, and more and more forget, but the Challenger.
Kowalski!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-MknuRE2Bcg&ab_channel=TELEVISIONARCHIVES
Back before the advertisers were forced to note that these shots were the only times those cars worked functionally
Jeebus, I remember that commercial too.
I’m too old and I used to watch too much TV.
I rode in one in Bulgaria! I am a taller fellow and had a big backpack and I filled up the back seat. Not roomy.
Yes. Also reminds me of when Top Gear went to Albania. Called it a Bentley.
I get asked, despite being swamped, to give the final interview with someone getting hired out from college for a field position.
Our HR department has no fucking idea what we do. Luck of the draw, I was the only person in the office with field experience today. So I sit down with this kid that has already met with like five people. We start taking and his phone rings.
He puts his hand up to me and says “hold on” and proceeds to answer the fucking phone call. I sit there for 10 minutes while he explains to his mother that he hasn’t gotten the job yet, but he his a shoe in.
I am not kidding, this kid had me sit there in a meeting room with him while he talked to his mother.
He gets done.
“You finished?”
“Yes”
“Yeah so am I. I assume you know how to find the exit” and I get up and leave. I go to HR to ask where the hell they got this clown and I start explaining the whole scenario. The HR lady says….
“You too?!? He did that to me as well”
“Then why in the heck did you not kick him out of the building immediately? Next time something like this happens, don’t bother moving the person up the chain”
“So is it a no?”
I walked away to smoke a cig.
I’m taking a walk right now because fuck this shit.
Thing is, the little shit probably doesn’t even understand why he didn’t get the job.
It’s funny that you think he didn’t get the job.
Suddenly I don’t feel so bad about leaving his generation mountains of debt.
Seriously. I tell my family that if you call me at work, someone better be in the hospital, jail or the morgue. If not, I will personally fulfill at least one of the conditionals.
What happened like, three years after we were born? (By “we” I mean you and me and Maestro and Buddy, I think, and I apologize if I’m forgetting any other 20-something Commentists.)
I think it was when they starting not keeping score and giving out trophies to everyone and a combination of parents not being allowed to spank their kids (not leaving a mark and not out of hatred) and the parents expecting the schools to teach the kids how to act. Also, being against bullying but doing nothing about the bully because they have rights.
TIL James Harrison is a Brony
The thought of him singing “The Smile Song” is going to make me spontaneously laugh for the next few days.
(I worked in admissions in undergrad. And it seemed that NOBODY knew their address. Which means had they gotten lost the police would not have been able to get them home. COME THE FUCK ON, PEOPLE.)
How did they order pizza for delivery?
Parents.
Listening to Gruden intro this game, it’s almost easy to forget Ray Lewis once watched a guy get stabbed and did nothing, for the Lord.
I guess nobody told Sean McDonaugh that Hitler’s moustache brows is so 2016.
Am I ready for some fitbaw? *shrugs* I got nowhere else to go.
Just how the shield likes it.
I’m watching the Wooden Giants. So I guess that wins.
God damn it.
We are all merely memes.
RAW building to something implies the cokefiend writers have any sort of coherent storytelling abilities, which they do not
This was also true when I watched 15 years ago.
This is NAWT a real Chevy Nova. NO ONE DENIES THIS.
(Was my first car)
’79 Delta 88.
1972 Ford Pinto. Totaled in wreck. Did not explode.
Thanks Onader.
77 Plymouth Volare (mine was not in this good condition)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AnWHQCgByWg
Corinthian Leather.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tfKHBB4vt4c
My mom had one of those, white with red leather interior. It was a pretty comfy car, and seemed pretty fast to 17 year old me.
My first was a 1978 Ford Landau Ltd. it wouldn’t fit into a standard high school parking lot space in the mid nineties.
[IMG]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v74/Nickasinsaltlick/CF23BA1C-D6A0-4BAD-ACC7-F0AF6A2973D6_zpsmv8gkb6d.jpeg[/IMG]
SillyCuse basketball is sneaky good this year. The frosh class is way under the radar.
I’d like them better if they’d go ahead and beat the dogshit out of UMd in the 2nd half.
Just saying.
I only do this to kill time til teh football.
Me too.
… And a Canadian Train.
It’s that thing where you have
I thought that was a series of apologies from young gentlemen callers to an unattached young lady looking for a long term commitment?
Shit. You’re right.
And Now For Something Completely Different. Please play along!
What cars are horribly misnamed? For example Ford Fiesta. There’s no party to be found. Suburban, big as one sure, but no one living in one owns one. Rogue…no. See?
I own a rogue and am of questionable character
In the spirit of playing along, I have never seen any sheep hauled in a Dodge Ram.
If you can dodge a wrench….
Any minivan which isn’t called “Alldownhillfromhere”.
Inorite? Odessey? Town & Country?
Rendezvous.
… with death. Then it’s apt.
I have an old Corvette I bought when I was in high school and managed to hang on to for the last 40 years. But it really doesn’t resemble what it was named after.
Buick Regal
Ooh! Crown Victoria!
Chevy Cavalier
Crown Vics are giant and ugly as sin, though.
True. The related Caprice is also sadly misnamed.
#Notallcaprices
Olds Cutlass
The Ford Falcon, Pontiac Thunderbird, Mercury Cougar… any car named after an animal. Except maybe, MAYBE, the Ford Mustang.
I think Ford made the Thunderbird, too. Pontiac Firebird, perhaps?
You are correct, sir. Point still stands. Also, the Dodge Charger, as it is not all electric.
I wonder if Boltman drives a Charger…
Just follow Adam Carolla on twitter. The last was the Kia Sorrento.
Alright, I need Lamar Miller and Ravens D to combine for less than 35 points tonight. Universe, please at least have the decency to use lube.
Ron Howard voiceover: “It didn’t…”
(sorry for stealing your bit WCS)
The Matron Saint is the only redeeming feature of tWWL’s Monday Night Countdown.