Sort of. Work with me here. The timing of the holiday is such that this is the last Sexy Friday of the year of our Lord 2017.
And yeah, go fuck yourselves with that CE crap. Taking away the religious angle, the commonly accepted chronology is based on the estimated birth of Christ. We are also well into the Hebrew year 5778 but you don’t see that on a calendar.
Holy shit. I stand corrected.
We are also about to start Buddhist year 2561. Which is exactly 543 ahead of the Gregorian calendar, so still based on the same commonly-accepted reference date. Anyway, I will concede that we should be using BC (Before Christ) and AC (After Christ) instead of AD. AD made sense when people spoke Latin and that hasn’t happened since the days of Spartacus.
Did I mention this was Sexy Friday? You may have also noticed that this is Balls, not tWBS. I have taken over today’s Sexy Friday post as our esteemed colleague, tWBS, needs a break from looking up hot women for your pleasure. I felt bad for him so I decided I would take today’s post.
For today’s theme, I have chosen to let you in on a Balls annual tradition: The Balls’ New Year Resolutions Challenge.
Until my friends moved away to different parts of the country, we would gather together the week before the New Year at a bar and write down all the things we were going to do/accomplish in the new year. There were rewards as well as punishments laid out as incentives. We all signed and then set about accomplishing the tasks.
It was actually a highly effective thing as, while we never completed every single thing on our lists, it encouraged us to try to better ourselves. I like to think it worked.
So, I share these resolutions with you, my imaginary Internet friends. Keep in mind that these resolutions are in line with what my friends and I used to do.
TO THE LIST!
#1 – Read a book for pleasure
To the readers among us, reading ONE book seems like a simple thing. In fact, my friends and I would challenge ourselves to read several. As you get older, though, and time moves faster, it is harder and harder to find the time to read. So, my challenge this year is to read one complete book (more than 250 pages) during the calendar year.
#2- Travel to a place I’ve never been
For some of us, this is more difficult than others (looking in Dok’s direction) as we may have already traveled to a lot of places. For others, it may be difficult because of money or work/school obligations. Regardless, travel is a worthy pursuit that opens up our eyes and enriches the human experience. You don’t have to go far. Just go somewhere you haven’t been before and experience new people and places. It’s worth it.
#3 – Have a new sexual experience
It doesn’t matter whether you currently have a partner or not. There are always new things to do/try. Heck, maybe finding a new partner will count! In any case, the mantra of Sexy Friday is that sex is a good thing to be enjoyed and beauty is found everywhere and should be appreciated in all its forms. So, whether you like black,
Asian,
Latino,
White,
or any combination thereof,
you should try to celebrate the beauty around us.
#4 – Give back
This could mean volunteering, donating to charity, or participating in a fundraising event. I myself run an event that benefits homeless children. It doesn’t take much effort and the money raised goes to a good cause. We all have causes important to us (Don T and the people of Puerto Rico come immediately to mind), so it doesn’t matter who you give your time and/or money to, just give.
#5 – Learn a new skill
It can be anything. You can learn how to drive a manual car. You can learn useful phrases in a foreign language. You can learn how to play an instrument. It doesn’t matter. One of the greatest things you can instill in people is the desire to be life-long learners. You are never too old to learn new things. It keeps your mind fresh and your personality more interesting.
***
So, there you have it. 5 out of 5 should not be too hard, right? If we are all here by this time next year, I’ll follow up and let you know how I did.
I hope you all are able to join in and achieve some of these for yourselves or create your own resolutions. Feel free to publicly challenge yourselves in the comments!
Time to go cook some beans.
Or something.
Have a nice night you degenerates…..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eyCEexG9xjw
Favorite band alert.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6NfvI2C5Bus
Can’t believe he’s gone. RIP
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F4JFqfqIPKA
One of Beastie’s favs? Yes, I think so.
(keep one eye open buddy boy)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LuN6gs0AJls
I do love me some Pretenders.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HjXnhT3jXM4
Hella nice pick.
Big 80’s shit right here.
Do you know how I can tell if you’re Scottish?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2uWjuconWM0
It’s a damn shame they’re viewed as a one hit wonder.
Duran Duran is a guilty pleasure, yes.
But this song rocks (as do a few others so shut up you)….
Great bass and drums on this one.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GcAXKxtZVcw
Wow, that audio is turrible. Just watch this one instead…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KCjMZMxNr-0
(Probably surprisingly) I like Duran Duran.
Rawr!!!!
Oh shit…sorry, sorry.
Good one! Again!
Lord help me I do love this band.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pzd1CjZc75M
As everyone should.
I actually owned a DEVO energy dome.
Hehehehehe
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v9oOS_sXzxk
I just noticed the sexy men, and so how is Dok? Did she make an appearance earlier?
Anyway, I just dropped back in to say good night.
I think she’s still crossing time zones.
I don’t have many assurances in life but one thing I do know is that Dok is going to be just fine.
https://vimeo.com/70051022
She’s either going to rule or kill us all. Preferably both. Order doesn’t matter.
She might herd and eat us. I’m not saying she will. But she could.
Because we’re dumb.
Quite possibly my favorite 80’s song from one of my favorite bands ever.
I saw them this past year! With the Violent Femmes!
It was life altering.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nMplIrSlg8E
Oh hell yes.
Hehehehehe….I hate it when…
Never mind.
A dipped Trump
That’s ice cream; it tastes good, so no.
pthbbt
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KtEXOUCCTpM
I totally never got stoned and listenedededed to this back in the late 80s.
That’s nice!
Susanna’s anorexic phase sadly.
Fortunately she recovered better than Karen Carpenter.
I know it has been a while, but does Janay Rice play blackjack?
She never knows when to hit.
80s? I can do some 80s.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bJ31oz0DECw
Drinking my first Karl Strauss beer.
Well done.
They make a fine red and a solid IPA.
I should know.
http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/549/262/ef7.gif
Greetings DFOers.
Welcome to eighties night!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fwF9dRQnHXM
It’s a good thing we’ve evolved.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RTOQUnvI3CA
Right.
Speak fo’ yoself white boy.
I’m still Homo habilis over here.
Oh look, a screwdriver.
I guess we’re not literally flinging shit at each other.
Distance – gravity.
Yet.
Make me.
You do you and we’ll just be over here.
DON’T YOU LOOK AT ME!!!!!!!!
*eye contact intensifies*
Is that Eli’s mom?
Bring a different connotation to “juice box.”
I’m feeling just…
Capital!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ruWPc_9AqPM
High everybody!
Norm!!!!!!!
Standard deviation!!
Nobody expects ficus-indica.
(Yeah, I know that cartoon is a Saguaro cactus. Fuck saguaro cactus. Saguaro sucks. It’s also an Arizona plant, and Arizona can eat my ass.)
High!
I would do savage savage things with that ribeye.
Too late, it’s already gone. A5 wagyu.
That’s a sexy fucking cut of meat.
Have you lost your marbling?!?!?
The tenderloin was better. But no complaints on this one.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O_c-ePcTMbg
h
ttps://78.media.tumblr.com/aa18f22f4b771cc8d31e78be8c4e1332/tumblr_p1jdw4dL291us6ycco1_400.gif
NSFDFO; extreme weirdness; no titties.
Perfectly fine. Feel free to embed it.
I had some shock value; didn’t want anybody who has been drinking to throw up a little.
Or get the boner that will have them questioning themselves for days.
Poor thing. It must be lonely.
Nick Nolte.
Wow. I never really thought of him as a Nebraskan before, but holy shit. If I ever had an image in my head of what one would look like, that’s it.
He also looks like he definitely played high school football and maybe some in college. If not for a team, he played every weekend somehow.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MenYdlF-8yw
But she was aiming foar the green one.
“Empl. opportunity; balloon holder.”
Good vision and quickness a must?
It’s Romania; she can find more.
What is…things never said on the U*NC campus?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gAX06-B6k28
Haha. Fuck him.
They should put it out with shots of tequila.
Bacardi 151.
I know it’s stupid, but just looking at them makes me hate them.
I still think USC will come back in the 3rd half, after they clear the field from this intermission show.
That is why the wr’s were showboating?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OXcrEVFZOXs
https://gfycat.com/MediocreMeekEquestrian
Chin pencil accidents are a huge problem.
Indeed.
I’m finding it funny seeing how subdued the Ohio State players are. They’re acting like this is the football equivalent of getting a sweater for Christmas.
It pretty much is.
If the first New Year’s Six Bowl Game is any indication, it will be blowouts against teams that are obviously overrated and no right being there.
The Notre Dame Conundrum
No points from either squadron in the second half?
Urban Meyer’s wife is already holding him up to keep him from collapsing after overdoing the medication.
I cannot believe I stayed up for this…
What, this postgame sideline interview with Urban Meyer and his nodding wife?
Does she have palsy?
The answer to the question baffling these announcers, how can Iowa score 55 on OSU when a hot USC team can’t get more than 7 is pretty simple: The PAC-10, (12, 14, whatever), has been overrated for years.
If I’m on the committee I’m not thinking about whether or not I should have had OSU higher than 5, I’m wondering why I have USC ranked #8.
They have flat-out mailed this game in, and they did not use enough postage to do it.
It would be returned to sender or destroyed. #themoreyouknow
I trust Canadia Post to put this one out of its misery for us all.
I said the same thing when they made them #8.
If I’m on the committee I’m spending the money that these college players have earned for me.
Why is that guy still showboating?!?!?!
one presumes he was dropped on his head a lot as a small child
I’m going with “he’s an idiot”
His Christmas bonus was bigger than he expected.
If I’m an Ohio State player, I’m going up to him and pointing to the scoreboard.
Oh, just place the football any old where, Line Judge.
Heh. “Sara Sampaio having a coregasm.” https://gfycat.com/ShabbyCreamyHusky
In classic tradition, this should end with a horse shitting out death all over USC.
Radio announcers are actually enteraining during this whole thing: “…and Darnold has his feelings hurt.”
oh FFS, finish this shit sandwich already
“#21 came of the bench”
The fight was in his bench!
These officials are fucking idiots.
Evergreen.
“No, no, the OTHER #21.”
Is this really about the Vegas thing again?
Oh, JV footy.
Points to Darnold for holding back an Ohio State player. He was trying to defuse this shit before it started.
He doesnt show enough fire durrrr
He left it all in the Cuyahoga.
Gah. Wrong team.
Darnold left all his fire in the California woods.