It Ends Tonight! Titans @ Patriots Divisional Open Thread

2015 was Mariota’s rookie season and the Titans finished 3-13, being shredded by Johnny Manziel in the process. How times change; now Tennessee stands to be destroyed by Tom Brady on his ascension to Unparalleled Excellence. That’s forward progress even Jeff Tripplette can’t deny.

Last Saturday the Titans won its first playoff game since the 2003 season. New England has had a first round playoff bye for eight straight years, and been AFC Championship perennials ever since. The line for this game has been 13.5 and more. All predictions were sanctioned by The Sure Thing Coalition, in Chalk City. Patriot haters might wanna skip this game for more uplifting fare, like the first 100 minutes of “Midnight Express”.

Yeah yeah, I don’t buy it. Crazy shit happens in the playoffs. The Rex Jets and the Ravens defeated the Pats at home, memorably. The Titans defense has been consistently OK all year and has brought more pressure on QBs in the last five games. Everyone knows how Brady gets skittish when hit–an  obvious bone I gladly throw to the vast majority of NFL fans in the US:

Via @WTP sports

Being a Titans fan, I’ve had to watch their games. Tennessee was a boring team: seldom scoring in the 1st QRT;  dependable special teams (spectacular punting); a D that doesn’t allow many TDs after a turnover; and, the odd long run or pass mixed between plays for little or no gain—mostly out of bunched formations. TEN beat the Browns 12-9, in overtime, and did not record a convincing win in a schedule that featured crap team after crap team. Titan coaches started to get heavy flak for playcalling after the slog that was the 12-7 Week 14 loss at Arizona. And then it happened: Mariota got healthy and started getting the chance to dictate, calling plays and improvising. This defeated the Jags and clinched the playoffs for TEN in Week 17:

Via tenor.com

That play even prompted a pro like Delanie Walker to chime in: “Sometimes you gotta overcome coaching. That’s what makes some players great when they know how to do that” (via @CameronWolfe). On the other hand, I can’t see Patriot players overcoming their coaching, because they’d stand to be cut. Or flayed.

The only angles against the Pats are: (1) the TEN offensive line has been playing at the 2016 level the last three games; and (2) the tension between Kraft, Belichick, and Brady. Seth Wickersham’s recent KBB piece was a notable entry in the “Are the Patriots / Brady DUN?” canon. (It’s never “Belichick is done”.) So the Jimmy G trade seems like a vanity move for Brady’s sake that balances the Alex Guerrero skullduggery—big deal. All of that alleged crap is inconsequential for the Pats. Unless Brian Hoyer becomes involved, or Tom Terrific fails to get a “Patriot of the Week” T-shirt after posting a 100+ QB rating in this game.

The Titans had actual drama. Stories came out that Tennessee was going to fire Mike Mularkey if they lost to the Chefs right before the game. To the dismay of many Tits fans, their own team won in Kansas City. Goddammit: why even cheer? Pining for an uncertain but “better” future instead of enjoying present playoff success is greek tragedy shit. Like, I dunno… Being more concerned with potential…

/points dramatically to a dumpster

…HEAD COACHING GIGS?

That’s right: the New England brain trust of McDaniels & Patricia will showcase tonight their genius chops against a TEN team that, so far, is -21 in points differential after 17 games. (-66 between two blowouts: Deshaun Watson Texans in Week 4, Steelers in Week 11.) Both NE coordinators might outsmart themselves, since the stakes for them go beyond eking out a win in an expected walkover:

Via InsufferableMassholes (redundant)

Yes, the Pats have playoff experience, but Tennessee has been mentally tough all season. The players saved their coach through an 18-point comeback on the road. Dick LeBeau’s record against Brady isn’t good, but this current batch of TEN DBs are decent, including former Patriot Logan Ryan. (If it’s against The Man, it’s not snitching #JustSayin) And for all that is made about Brady being the experienced one, he’s the one who has tantrums during games, not the even-keeled Mariota (40 and 24, respectively). OK, Marcus won’t be a fantasy top dog, but is competitive and aware enough to catch his own TD pass and make an actual block—instead of, umm…

Via giphy.com

For New England, Schefter reported that questionable RBs Mike Gillislee and Rex Burkhead “are not expected to play”. Pencil them down for the majority of the carries over Lewis and White. (Kidding; maybe?) DeMarco Murray is out, the only way TEN coaches would deign to give Derrick Henry more than 10 touches a game. Accountability Note: after the Week 17 win over the Jags. Henry said he “ran soft”. He did, and then ran possessed the next week in Kansas City. Henry should do well against NE, provided he doesn’t miss the blitzer that gets Mariota KILLT. But even being optimistic, the Brady-Gronkowski battery is unstoppable. For tonight, I’d trade only two Gronk receptions for 60 yards in defensive PI, gladly.

Gotta admit: the “Ooh a win over Andy Reid; how cute!” and Patriots Patriots PATRIOTS talk got the best of me early in the week. So I called it Titans 30, Patriots 27, likely after reading “we should really rest [Chris] Hogan for next week”. I’m sticking to it, and to my rationalizations above—which may turn out to be kinda inaccurate after the fact. A cordial “‘Sup” for all decent Pats supporters, the ones here and the other 7 of you. But that’s it: No. 1 FACKIN GREATRIETS fan is Marky Mark, who deserves no good will. So enough of New England. It* ends tonight!

* The Patriots reign. Alternatively, the 2017 Titans season.

Now it’s your turn. DO YOUR WORST!

Banner pics via blewiskewl.blogspot.com and @MattNicroneRPO

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Don T
Poor choices, mixed results. ¡Viva Puerto Rico Libre! Titans4Eva
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Brick Meathook

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JustStopDude

Chelsea Manning is running for senate? HILARIOUS!

Given her history of abusing women while in the army, she will fit right in with the plenty of senators in congress.

Oh wait…that never gets mentioned when people talking about Manning.

herodotus450

Can’t be a sexual predator if you’re a woman, so just claim to be transgendered. The perfect crime!

Redshirt

That’s my fear in a nutshell about allowing transgendered women in women’s restroom and locker rooms. All it takes is one pervert or horny teenage boy to go “I’m a girl!” and now he’s in a room with women in a states of undress.

Gratliff

It’s amazing to me how much concern there is for these theoretical circumstances as though women aren’t attacked regularly, regardless of laws.

Redshirt

Something just bugs me about her. Bradley Manning sends classified documents to WikiLeaks, an act that everyone agrees is illegal. However, he declares that he wants to be a she and now that okays the illegal act and she should be free?

What? Does changing your gender give you permission to break the law? Or is it because the crime was commited by Bradley Manning and she is now Chelsea Manning?

JustStopDude

The fucking hilarious thing was she was NEVER against the war…like there is zero internet traffic, chat logs, nothing…to show she was anti-war until AFTER she did a massive data dump.

There is plenty of evidence that she was clearly unhappy and she was trying to impress random people on the internet about her “mad hackers” skills….which consisted of doing a data dump.

Everything about her case is bullshit. Like the claims she was tortured by being on suicide watch…after she said she was going to commit fucking suicide.

Her twitter feed is fucking HILARIOUS.

Gratliff

People made their mind up about whether what she did was right or wrong before the transition. It became more ammo for opponents after the fact, but anyone who says the change affected their opinion has a completely different agenda.

JustStopDude

The thing that pisses me off about Manning is that I proudly served with countless LGBTQ military personnel and none of them felt the need to do a data dump for internet cred.

Yet every fucking time now, when the rights of my fellow vets get mentions, this idiot comes up.

Redshirt

Yes. The LGBTQ community has real issues that needs addressed, but having them associated with this lightning rod hurts the cause.

As soon as some open minded right-wingers (shut up! we so too exist!) hear her name, we tune out.

Gratliff

It’s a gray area to me, whatever her motives. The whole thing with wikileaks looks like such a clusterfuck in hindsight. Assange ended up being a complete scumbag, but was heralded as a hero by much of the left until they started spreading shit about Clinton. Not a whole lot of altruism to be found from anyone in this story. Definitely matters to the public who did what in what order, though.

Gratliff

Was it an actual history, or was it just that one incident where she actually attacked an officer? It’s bad, but abuse carries a different context than assault.

JustStopDude

There were multiple incidents where Manning received corrective instruction on her treatment of women in her unit.

Putting on my drunk, psych hat, I suspect that Manning was not happy and she took out her emotions on the one group in the military that he felt was weaker than her, that being the women in her unit.

She had issues with both enlisted and officers. And anyone who has been in the military will say this, it usually takes multiple incidences before a command will start a paperwork trail on anything.

Gratliff

If I remember correctly, there were about 40000 red flags where she should’ve been removed from her role before the leaks. It was a pretty significant fuck up from start to finish.

Horatio Cornblower

I like to think that “Young Sheldon” is a long-con by Planned Parenthood to make people favor abortion, up to age 14.

WCS

Actually, that’d be brilliant. I hope it works!

King Hippo

crank the knob, fuckers!!

/NAWT that way

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QPNqojbyIDk

Horatio Cornblower

Great tune!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Okie Doke. Pants on.
Later taters.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mssm8Ml5sOo

Horatio Cornblower

Jim Nance saying that Jacksonville’s not going anywhere when they’re literally spending almost a 1/4 of the next season in London.

blaxabbath

I’m glad SEA has to make that trip finally.
Now how do I get Pete Carroll on hard knocks?

herodotus450

Fun* Fact**: It’s faster to fly west from Seattle to get to London than east!
*For various definitions of fun.
**May not actually be a fact.

Redshirt

Oh, come on. The Pats are up by 4 TDs. Quit it with the “penalties”!”

Spur
herodotus450

Since I’m allergic to braindead automatons spewing the company line, I’m only looking at the boxed score for this game and nothing jumps out to explain the score. New England just couldn’t be stopped on offense?

theeWeeBabySeamus

They had help.

herodotus450

Oh like from, the independent fighting spirit of their New ENgland backers?

Horatio Cornblower

The refs screwed the Titans early and the Titans spent the rest of the game screwing themselves. They’re not very good and the coaching/playcalling has been atrocious.

herodotus450

They don’t seem to have turnovers, and Mariota has similar YPA to Brady except a few hundred yards less and-oh, 6 sacks. That’ll do ya.

Gratliff

Super Dram World 2 speedrun time at AGDQ!

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Spur

that’s giving me anxiety

Gratliff

Kind of designed to

Spur
JustStopDude

I’m old.

I went out with a young lady for dinner and drinks. I left her at the bar…

It was the combination of her ordering the $6 can of PBR at a bar and her demand to go to the one place in town doing karaoke, which apparently she never sings, but she likes to watch.

After about three songs, I told her I was out and I left.

Horatio Cornblower

That’s not old, that’s just solid decision making.

WCS

Where the shit do they charge six bucks for PBR in Roanoake? One of the, like, four good things about that city is how cheap it is to get wasted. That’s what kept my sanity there.

Horatio Cornblower

If someone charged me $6 for a PBR I would punch them right in the nose.

King Hippo

if you ever want a 2nd for punching/general mayhem (and you kin are unavailable, I’m a crazy fuck and am down)

JustStopDude

Its insanely cheap…except for the this hipster fucking bar that she dragged me to.

I told her “You want PBR…I have a case of that shit in my garage for when I work on my car”

herodotus450

I only frequent Kara-oke parlors with music encoded at 320 kbps or better and solid gold air-purged audio cables.

King Hippo
King Hippo

FUCK YOU YouTube for removing the Soviet dance par-tay video version…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o_WfLgVeEBw

Horatio Cornblower

Fuck it, let’s get drunk and howl at nothing.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AzqmVa6n-es

Redshirt

I…I’m going to have to root for Pittsburgh, am I?

blaxabbath

You knew the risks….

King Hippo

JAGURAS!!! Am I talking to myself here???

Redshirt

But the Jags will play the Pats next week. I’m planning ahead.

King Hippo

But the key is – don’t even worry about the Yinzers – they have no shot in NE even if they get past #OddWeekJaguras (they won’t)

Spur

unless the Jags have a horseshoe shoved up their ass., yeah.

Spur
King Hippo

You remember getting the high voltage kiss from THAT GIRL in your life? SIGH.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hZvFGEE26vE

Spur

my attorney advised me to keep my distance but yes i do.

King Hippo

was yours also a surprise kiss, at a place/time you didn’t expect? If I could go back to that moment in time and re-live it…

Spur

i remember i was kissed, she grabbed me. in that split second i realized how lovely my friends sister was. I never saw her in the same light again. before she was one of the guys. i took her to prom years later.

Redshirt

Okay. So how’s the game?

Gratliff

It is the opposite of how I felt watching the Eagles game

Mr. Ayo

Like watching a train approach at 15mph and not being able to move.

Spur

it feels like a Browns vs Steelers game.

Romonobyl

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Gratliff

Everyone knows you run faster with a knife

WCS

How’d you feel Election Night 2016? Sort of like that.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I think I’m going to the biker bar.
Night gents.

Horatio Cornblower

Good-bye forever.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Nah, the owner loves me. Saved one of his dogs from a hit by car. Another from a gunshot wound.

I drink free there. And none of the regs say dick to me. Always.

Horatio Cornblower

A friend of mine and I used to regularly close a local biker bar. One time we were talking to a couple of girls who refused to believe we were lawyers. We had to show them business cards. They were genuinely stunned and asked “Why are you here?”

It was funny and kinda sad at the same time.

blaxabbath

Are you that injury lawyer with the tattoos?

Horatio Cornblower

I have tattoos yes, but I do defense work.

blaxabbath

Law Tigers

blaxabbath

When you drink free, is it expected that you like just get beer and always finish your drink. And tip well?

theeWeeBabySeamus

I dunno if it’s expected or not.
But I always tip well no matter where I am, having worked on that side of it before.

blaxabbath

What do you order?

Col. Duke LaCross

Remember, G23 in the jukebox. “Tequila.” If they’re gonna hang you, then kill you, just play that song and all will be well.

King Hippo

31-21. LET IT BE PROPHECY!!

Horatio Cornblower

See, I think the “21” part is where your plan is going to fall apart.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Big time.

Viva La Tabula Raza

and the “31” part, too.

King Hippo

here ya go – AH LIKE THIS’un

CBQUE

Guys it was great to be back briefly. See Y’all tomorrow. God Bless to all and for those that missed my message: HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

Spur
herodotus450

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Spur
Dick E. Phuck

I’m done, goodbye. See you all tomorrow, maybe.

litre_cola

In Wichita?

Viva La Tabula Raza

Romo throwing love Spurs way. Nice.

Spur

i heard that too

Romonobyl

Really wish I watched that game instead.

King Hippo

the NBA is not sports, goddamnit~!!!!

Romonobyl

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Spur

the NFL is going to be the next MLB in terms of public interest,

King Hippo

MLB is not preferred, but summer is time to be passed until FOOTBAW comes back

King Hippo

go have sex with your attractive wife, good man! 😀

Romonobyl

Whelm is good enough.

King Hippo

Life’s too short to even care at all…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UAsTlnjvetI

LemonJello

Ok, Imaginary Internet Friends, I can’t watch anymore of this snuff film/P*tskakke. I’m off like the proverbial prom dress.

Later, Taters!

Spur

no! we’re liveblogging Ghost ADVENTURES next

Horatio Cornblower

My daughter does that. For real.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I’m gonna watch the rest of this but I imagine that right about now, 90% of the nation is checking out their Netflix or Amazon Prime queues.

blaxabbath

Queuing up Unsolved Mysteries!

Romonobyl

Screw this shit, I switched over to Now You See Me on TNT. All I can say is that Isla Fisher looks really, really nice in a really,really short skirt.

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King Hippo

she married Borat. The one lady who said “I like a guy with a sense of humour” and meant it.

CBQUE

Anyone that thinks this D is containing Bell. Brown, Ju-Ju and Bryant is smoking some high quality shit.

blaxabbath

Blunt’s?

Horatio Cornblower

James Harrison is gonna give them all the inside dirt on Pittsburgh’s play-offs. Except that Harrison apparently doesn’t know Pittsburgh’s playbook.

CBQUE

I’m hoping that Harrison rips off The pats jersey and underneath it he has a T-Shirt that says SWO. Steelers World Order. Then he clubs Tom Brady in the knee and he missed the game right after the coin toss

Horatio Cornblower

From your lips to Bleergh’s yellow ears.

blaxabbath

Oh my god.

I would join steeler nation.

And I currently reside in Raider Nation Nation! (I’m a fan of Raider fans, not so much the team).

litre_cola

Reporting for duty.

I think Ben will win harf

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Okay, I’m done. Love you all, see you tomorrow.

Mr. Ayo

What? The TITs aren’t covering!

Dick E. Phuck

Even when the Titans are clearly out of the game the Refs are still screwing them over.

Spur
Spur

yep, great song. saw them live a few years ago. had a great set.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Like ’em a lot.
Hope to time it right to see ’em live eventually.

King Hippo

I don’t wanna say even worse than Avett Bros….

Mr. Ayo

I stand with my King

theeWeeBabySeamus

Of all people, you should like both.

Go eat some cheese.

Dick E. Phuck

Their O-Tackle, who’s been out since the first quarter, is ruled out for the game. No shit, sherlock. Did you really need an official report for that?

King Hippo

PRAY TO JAGURAS GODS PPL, WE MUST ALL BE BORT!!

blaxabbath

Does the pain never end for the NFL fan?

Holy shit! Trump is gonna tweet support for NE because UnAmerican London Franchise using taxpayer funded stadium to start anti American kneeing protest is playing them!

CBQUE

You have so little faith in The Steelers it disturbs me. The Jags have no shot against New England. Bortles couldn’t hit water if he fell out of a boat

King Hippo

eh, everything broke right for them in Ynzburgh,..still lost. Remember, Jaguras actually DID ass-blast PIT once before. They can handle finesse teams. NE is almost as finesse as PIT.

blaxabbath

I’d like to know so much about the lives of the band 38 Special.

SonOfSpam

Well, you’ll have to wait. Or hold on. Loosely, preferably.

CBQUE

You on that island alone bruh

blaxabbath

Please forgive me
And forget it
I was wrong
I admit it

CBQUE

Why can’t we think it over, why can’t we forget about the past. This heart needs a second chance.

Mother Puncher

The dumb part of my brain thinks the Titans would be better if their jerseys weren’t so ugly.

blaxabbath

Rockets never did shit until they ditched the red and orange.

Ditto creamsicle Tampa Bay.

CBQUE

They won two titles with the old uni’s.

blaxabbath

Goddamn you’re right.

Huh. Well, then believe in the Titans cursed SB failure uniforms. Your call.

CBQUE

People forget The Rockets going back to back. Kind of like The Pistons. It’s like people think the whole NBA in that era was Magic, Bird then Michael

Horatio Cornblower

Also the “Gay Pirate Bruce” uniforms were awesome.

There will be no further discussion on that topic.

blaxabbath

Awesome – yes.

It’s an archaic position, I think looking like a winner matters. Coders blowing up .coms arent in the nfp. It’s a legacy league.

Even as stupid admit they are, NE’s old hiking patriot logo was sad. In fact, football is a sport that should not have any equipment on their logos (except the Eagle can Ben gripping the hall because it’s so minor and the bird is then independent team).

Case in point, Cleveland’s logo is on huge helmet and they suck ass so hard…

King Hippo

a’ight, Tits. 2 TDs. Cover Hippo’s bets, lose 31-21. whaddya say?

theeWeeBabySeamus

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CBQUE

Dear AFC East: GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER!!! Who am I kidding, The Jets will draft another defensive back and ignore The QB position while The Giants draft one and win another three Super Bowls. The Bills will listen to Chris Berman and draft Jim Kelly’s daughters and the Dolphins will keep talking themselves into Ryan Tannehill.

WCS

The Jets will use their second-round pick to draft Christian Hackenberg again.

CBQUE

When your coach doesn’t attend your pro day isn’t that a sign? I mean for real this kid is so bad he can’t even get a pity start.

blaxabbath

Whats all this now?

CBQUE

James Franklin didn’t attend Hackenberg’s pro day. that was odd to me and lots of people.

Horatio Cornblower

Didn’t Hackenburg play for Penn State? Maybe the pro day was within 1500′ of an elementary school and the coach wasn’t legally allowed to be there.

blaxabbath

God I can’t believe PSU fans are already trying to rewrite the history on that shit.

They’re gonna be like, “the bowl ban was An attack on states right! And child molestation (AND INSTITUTIONAL COVERUPS) wasn’t that big of a deal.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Roy Moore should move up north of the Mason-Dixon line and run for Senate in PA.

blaxabbath

I submit for banner

Horatio Cornblower

Goodell: “Mark Sanchez!? What the fuck!?”

blaxabbath

::Mixture of hard boos and a pepperings of laughter at booing jets fans::

Horatio Cornblower

If the Giants draft Sam Darnold they may not win three games, let alone Super Bowls.

CBQUE

I heard he’s going to The Browns.

Horatio Cornblower

Then the Giants will take Rosen. Meh. Neither of those guys strikes me as a franchise savior, but I’m a low moron so who knows.

CBQUE

I personally want them to take Barkley. That guy is awesome.

Horatio Cornblower

He probably could help the O-line these days.

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blaxabbath

I feel like Kraft just throws money at all the owners business to keep them
Rich and happy to let Kraft have the division.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Has there been a single kickoff that Adoree Jackson hasn’t tried to run back yet? And has he gotten back to the 25 yet?

rockingdog

I’ve had a cough and running nose all day. Gonna take some Nyquil and get to bed.
By guys!

Horatio Cornblower

Feel better.

Mr. Ayo

For men!

SonOfSpam

“By guys!” sounds like some guys are gonna get him to bed.

Spur
CBQUE

So sine getting lit up by Tebow wasn’t bad enough van this please be the final fucking nail in Dick LeBeau’s coffin? His shitty defenses haven’t fooled anyone for years.

Mr. Ayo

BOURBLE! And yes.

King Hippo

Can you imagine how much trim these guys get? To be this cool, rock stars, hipsters AND black dudes??

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MxawVMQ02dc

Viva La Tabula Raza

They probably get more ass than a toilet seat.

Spur

i think the lead singer acted in a few movies as well.

Gratliff

It probably says a lot about me that there are a lot of bands I know only through the machinima music videos using their songs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oC_xTlMWui4

Brick Meathook

Nah, I think after shows they drink herbal tea and talk politics.