Are you ready? Last Sunday was oh-so-glorious and I’m not sure how it can be topped but the bowels of my being are telling me it will be. Perhaps that’s last night’s chili talking, I’ve no idea. What the heckfire am I waiting for? TO THE GAME!
Jacksonville/New England:
Some football fans down Florida way are talking about The Coughlin Effect transforming this team. “So what is The Coughlin Effect?”, you may ask. Well, as a Giants fan I can tell you it involves not wearing hats in meetings, setting the clocks in the practice facility five minutes ahead and treating any and all injuries with bloodletting-you know, basic crotchety old man stuff. I’ve no doubt that when he was first told that players were kneeling during the anthems his gut reaction was to foam at the mouth.
Injuries:
Tom Brady has some stitches in his paw-paw. Will he play? (yes) Will he wear a glove? (maybe) Will it affect his game? (no) Do I like question marks? (most assuredly)
Stratergizering:
Rumour has it that Adele would like to see Jalen Ramsay on the Gronkster but the Jags D usually covers te’s with a safety (Church/Gipson) or Myles Jack. Besides the fact that Ramsey is out-weighed by a good fifty pounds, what of Brandin Cooks? I can’t see the Jags pulling something special out of their game plan hat today.
Here’s a Problem:
Their names are Hurns, Westbrook, Cole and Lee. That’s not the name of a law firm, that’s the Jags receiving corpse. If the team falls behind by two scores it’s not going to be pretty. That said, I think the speedy Westbrook just might grab a TD on some sort of trickery dickery dock.
Old Adage is old:
War. Won. Trenches. You know how it goes but if Jacksonville’s d-line of Ngakoue, (another strip-sack maybe?) Campbell, Jackson, Dareus and Fowler play as they have been recently the timing that Brady & Co. depend so much upon will be jiggered and they’ll be out of their comfort zone.
Have at ‘er darlings-it’s all yours now.
I’m looking forward to the Blake Bortles cameo on next season of The Good Place.
That’ll be some forkin’ great shirt.
we haven’t had an elite bortscramble yet
This here. He’s gonna grab 15 yards at some point.
I did not see that coming. When will the Patriots and Tom Brady finally get a break from the officials?
Looks like whoever makes the payouts to the refs don’t fall under White House staffers considered ‘essential’ during the shutdown.
Overall, a very well-officiated contest. Myles Jack is a bad muthafucka, remember that pick last week…
BLAKEMAN FOR MVP!!!
Keep going, I’m almost there.
Clearly this falls under the tuck rule and should result in a 10 pt conversion for the Pats.
No one denies this…
Simmons going to zapruder that review
You mean his head explodes again and again?
From your lips to Bleergh’s ears.
Simmons can get fucked with a roll of razor ribbon.
Back and to the left. Back and to the left.
FUCK YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FUCK YES
OH SHIT
(JR voice)
“What a minute, what’s that? Now wait just a damn minute… My God, King! That’s BLEERGH’s music.”
Holy shit! They upheld it!
Terrible whistle.
No because even since its a fumble the offensive players has contact with the player recovering the ball. Its an instant tackle and an easy call to make.
If this is ruled a takeaway, that’s a hell of a fucking play by Jack.
There is NO WAY that is overturned.
I wasn’t saying it should have been. Just that I thought they would. It’s in Foxborough.
I’m very happy to be wrong, fwiw.
I’m telling ya. Prepare your anuses.
This is getting overturned.
I hope I’m wrong.
Did the refs consider Dreamboat’s dreaminess?
NFL HQ will call this in favor of Assdick McFuckThis (P*ts ball).
HOLY FUCK THAT ACTUALLY GOT CALLED AGAINST THE PATS
Oh, my pants can’t take anymore of this.
JACK’D OFF
I am going to die
He touched him down with his foot. That was the call.
i dont know. i think it’s Pats ball. God, i hope am wrong.
Although it will be reviewed, overturned, and the Pats will be given an extra ten yards for their trouble.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NERXer22e3E
This is getting reversed.
TOUCHDOWN SEAHAWKS!!!
After further review, the pass was incomplete
Intentional grounding, Jacksonville.
Now that’s getting Jacked.
Fo fucking shure.
Gon’ be overturned tho. Shit.
YEEEEEEESSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
“That was gonna be play of the year on offense”?
I don’t think so.
So if Bortles pulls this out and wins the Superbowl or something…he ends up being really annoying on ESPN right?
He becomes the next Dilfer…
JACKIN’ OFF
JACKED!!
WUT!!!!!!!!!!???????????
TURNOVER!
turnover???????
….wuhhhh?
WTF
THAT’S A FUCKING FUMBLE
HOLY SHIT!!!!
THAT’S A GODDAMN FUMBLE.
Just back in from walking the dog. The Pats start coming back and he’s getting a second walk.
uh….Cooks can’t be wide open no more. CHRIST
Also congratulations to Darren Sproles, the Doug Flutie Manlet of the Year.
It seems Gronk is out of the game. He must leave, for no raisin.
Special protocol to diagnose gronk with concussion vs normal state
It took quite some time.
KIl kill the Dreamboat.
Gronk concussed. There ya go.