Are you ready? Last Sunday was oh-so-glorious and I’m not sure how it can be topped but the bowels of my being are telling me it will be. Perhaps that’s last night’s chili talking, I’ve no idea. What the heckfire am I waiting for? TO THE GAME!
Jacksonville/New England:
Some football fans down Florida way are talking about The Coughlin Effect transforming this team. “So what is The Coughlin Effect?”, you may ask. Well, as a Giants fan I can tell you it involves not wearing hats in meetings, setting the clocks in the practice facility five minutes ahead and treating any and all injuries with bloodletting-you know, basic crotchety old man stuff. I’ve no doubt that when he was first told that players were kneeling during the anthems his gut reaction was to foam at the mouth.
Injuries:
Tom Brady has some stitches in his paw-paw. Will he play? (yes) Will he wear a glove? (maybe) Will it affect his game? (no) Do I like question marks? (most assuredly)
Stratergizering:
Rumour has it that Adele would like to see Jalen Ramsay on the Gronkster but the Jags D usually covers te’s with a safety (Church/Gipson) or Myles Jack. Besides the fact that Ramsey is out-weighed by a good fifty pounds, what of Brandin Cooks? I can’t see the Jags pulling something special out of their game plan hat today.
Here’s a Problem:
Their names are Hurns, Westbrook, Cole and Lee. That’s not the name of a law firm, that’s the Jags receiving corpse. If the team falls behind by two scores it’s not going to be pretty. That said, I think the speedy Westbrook just might grab a TD on some sort of trickery dickery dock.
Old Adage is old:
War. Won. Trenches. You know how it goes but if Jacksonville’s d-line of Ngakoue, (another strip-sack maybe?) Campbell, Jackson, Dareus and Fowler play as they have been recently the timing that Brady & Co. depend so much upon will be jiggered and they’ll be out of their comfort zone.
Have at ‘er darlings-it’s all yours now.
Screw it. Have a fight Jaguars. We’ll bail you out of jail.
Remember, “optimistic” is just another word for “stupid” – Louis CK (with dick in pants)
Gonna be great to see reporters groveling at the feet of that gross mess of a middle aged turd that coaches the Patriots as if he’s anything more than a man lucky enough to live in a time where being a fat ratfucking cheater rewards you.
Quality hate…lofty hate.
Lets not foirget playing in one of the weakest divisions for the past 20 years
Stop the whining. Jags still gonna win.
I also enjoyed President Hillary’s first year in office.
Bitch shit down the government for illegals!
Once gain, the Superb Owl is made irrelevant.
I’m sending the coordinates to N. Korea…this ain’t over.
Tell the Brady filming The Interview 2
MIght be Josh McDaniel’s last game with the Patriots…
…until he shits himself as an HC and returns to cheatsville.
Viks need to win. I refuse to root for the Eagles, i’d rather turn to the dark side and root for Pats.
I want Jalen Ramsey to Kick Tom Brady in the head. Fuck this.
We deserve this for putting our hopes and dreams on the Jacksonville Jaguars.
THAT’S an ecstatic Belichick (or as close as you get).
No hold on the outside there or anything.
On #51 for the Jags, definitely.
That said, they just gave up 15 yards on 3rd and 9, so fuck them.
Eat fuckin’ shit. God fucking damnit.
OK assholes. Time foar knees so tWBS can break even on this one.
Josh McDaniels somehow simultaneously looks like all of the generic faces in Madden.
give the Jags Cousins
I ask for so little….
“Liar.”
–God and your wife.
If Rocket Man deploys, I will cheer the missile flying overhead if it is aimed at New England.
I’m so pissed the Jags didn’t go for it on that 4th and 1.
that is all of the ink Hippo Thoughts will have for Game 1
You’re not the only one.
A million times this.
Yeah, you know what Tony? I don’t think the Patriots are looking for post-season play-off play calling tips from you.
Look, I know we have Pats fans here, but there is no fan base less deserving of this level of competence and luck.
Except maybe the Eagles.
FUCK EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE
Banner material.
Bortles is inept.
Einhorn is finkle
There is no Dana, only Zuul.
THANK YOU FOR NOT BEING A SHITHEEL FOR ONCE IN YOUR FUCKING LIFE STEPHON GILMORE
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Fuck. Me. Sideways.
When do Pitcher and Catchers report?
“Every Wednesday night.”
– Aaron Rodgers
*sighs*
Welp, I’m like 50-50 on watching the Super Bowl now.
think I am 10/90
We can’t have nice things.
Oh well. Back to ignoring the NFL.
On to the wild turkey
god fuck
I want to shit out my spleen.
Bahahahaha
“This seems like an ideal time for a plunge up the middle”-Jags OC
Jags’ll kick the Field Goal
This game is fucking over.
Ahahaha. This is over.
great, 4 goddamned yards
We’re well past 1000 posts and it’s incredible how many of them are just pure bile over the Patriots.
I would argue it’s perfectly credible.
They’re cheaters and I will raise my kid to ignore the nfl.
Connect Four the movie
I expect ritual seppuku at the 50-yard line
We live in a World where there is no Benevolent God.
There was a just and merciful God. We killed him for self-awareness and Bud Light.
There’s gon’ be a turnover returned, P*ts gon’ win by 11. tWBS will lose all bets on this one.
/tosses more dough on Vikes to make up for it.
(hehehehehe…just kidding. Probably)
I haven’t seen hopes destroyed by Vikings like this since Lindisfarne.
Huge P*ts defensive play is followed by a Bud Light dilly dilly commercial of course.
Yet no Axe body spray commercial after that!
Welp
Murder for Bud Light? Okay.
TWO-MINUTE BORTING!
Nice dive for the pass by Fournette, there.
“Well this is going as planned”
–Satan
Don’t bring Jerry Jones into this.
(unlocked door to DFO Balcony)
“Me first.”
Wait, when, and why, did we get a balcony?
Hippo needed a place to piss off of.
any competent HS quartered back hits Horny Fourny for 6 and at least makes Dreamboat score again