Someone Had To Do It (Again)- A DFO Hate Week Patriots Super Bowl Preview & Open Thread

Welcome to the final entry in the Second Annual DFO Hate Week, brought to you by Drew Magary’s Minnesota upbringing, Bush’s Baked Beans, and the Arkansas Food Hall of Fame.

They are announcing the Football Hall of Fame Enshrinees tonight, so have at that in the comments. As a reminder, the nominees were:

  1. Tony Boselli,                      6. Joe Jacoby                        11. Kevin Mawae
  2. Isaac Bruce,                        7. Edgerrin James               12. Randy Moss
  3. Brian Dawkins,                  8. Ty Law                              13. Terrell Owens
  4. Alan Faneca,                       9. Ray Lewis                         14. Brian Urlacher
  5. Steve Hutchinson,            10. John Lynch                     15. Everson Walls

If Ray Lewis doesn’t get in, his reaction towards Peter King could go one of two ways,


Tonight’s sports: (of interest)

  • NHL:
    • Leafs at Bruins – 7:00PM | CBC / NHLN
    • Avs at Jets – 7:00PM | Sportsnet360
    • Blackhawks at Flames – 10:00PM | Sportsnet
    • Lightning at Canucks – 10:00PM | CBC
  • NBA:
    • Rockets at Cavaliers – 8:30PM | ABC
  • NCAA:
    • Michigan State at Indiana – 8:15PM | ESPN
    • BYU at Gonzaga – 10:00PM | ESPN2
  • UFC:
    • Machida vs. Anders: From Belem, Brazil – 10:00PM | FS1 / TSN2

As you know, the Patriots & Tom Brady have a chance to win their sixth Super Bowl tomorrow. Let’s check in with North America for their reaction to this possibility:

Maestro

How the fuck did that get in there?

Well, there’s always one or two in a crowd.

Back to business. People, do you want the Patriots to win?

  

Well, that sums everything up nicely. Any dramatic final thoughts?

Go Eagles!

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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SonOfSpam

‘Eaters win by 5. King Hippo’s mortgage paid off.

Gratliff

It’s Super Bowl Sunday and my body is ready
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ballsofsteelandfury

Looking forward to tonight’s!

blaxabbath

Washington going into absolute meltdown mode.

This conference is 100% hot garbage this year and don’t let any Selection Sunday hype show try and tell you otherwise.

SonOfSpam

FAKE NEWS BRUINS IN FINAL FOUR

blaxabbath

Would almost be nice just to show Big Baller Is fuckall.

blaxabbath

This is the most effective I’ve ever seen Arizona’s deep bench. Usually this is a 7-man rotation.

blaxabbath

Oh now the refs are piling it on?

I don’t know who conspires more, Trump’s campaign or Larry Scott.

blaxabbath

UA is broken.
Send them home for next week.

SonOfSpam

Arizona schools hosting SoCal schools should be four good games next week.

blaxabbath

Yeah – Got some serious conference champ implications too (not you, ASU).

King Hippo

Sean Miller applied too much foundation this evening

SonOfSpam

I honestly can’t decide whether he’s a good coach or hateworthy. Or both.

blaxabbath

If they were anywhere else, I’d set Miller/Trier as the most hated duo in the conference (that I would ever refuse to admit we’re good, even in the face of all facts displaying otherwise).

SonOfSpam

Ethical question: If Pat Robertson just suffered a stroke, should we celebrate quietly or loudly?

Viva La Tabula Raza

Myself, I’d just nod and smile.

blaxabbath

Singing is praying twice

King Hippo

with Billy Squier!

SonOfSpam

That’s MY KIND OF COMMENT, MY KIND OF COMMENT

Fronkenshteen

Anyone got any interesting prop bets in for tomorrow?

SonOfSpam

I have the over (15) on beers drunk by me, especially with Monday off.

King Hippo

GAMBLOR has not summoned those dark instincts yet.

litre_cola

WHATS A COMPUTER GIRL MAKES ME RAGE!!!!!

SonOfSpam

As long as it’s “rage” and not “erect” you good.

litre_cola

If it was tomorrow there may be batteries through my screen but I haven’t done my gametime mise en place yet.

King Hippo

“Sad face emoji” – Marc T., parts unknown

blaxabbath

I have a smudge on my tv screen. How do I clean it? I don’t think I’ve cleaned a screen since my old tube tv.

King Hippo

if you have a glasses cleaning wipe, that works fine

SonOfSpam

Piss on a silk tie, wipe vigorously, repeat.

SonOfSpam

Ice Rams up 1-0 over Ice Cardinals after one. Ice Cardinals are not good.

blaxabbath

Real AZ sports glut right now.

blaxabbath

Not that this is exactly a championship generation machine in the first place…

SonOfSpam

Dirt Cardinals got Goldschmidt, which is pretty good.

blaxabbath

He can have a career equally as wasted as Fitz out here.

SonOfSpam

Sad but true. Also, Master of Puppets.

King Hippo

Would seem AZ doesn’t really care very much tonite

blaxabbath

This isn’t a team to go on a ten game streak.

WCS

Weren’t they ranked in the top-five in the preseason? Just goes to show that crap is just to publish #content.

blaxabbath

Yeah. Basically one horrendous weekend of three games lost with about 0 practices inbetween. Worse yet is their lethargic wins. Can’t string together two halves. They’re much worse than their record — especially considering how bad the PAC-12 is that, IMO, doesn’t get enough national attention. It’s the AFC South this year.

SonOfSpam

Very lucky to get past Utah last weekend; fun game to watch too.

litre_cola

Cutler went Rodney Dangerfield and went back to school?

SonOfSpam

That is not a tough choice. Drink for free every time you can, even if it’s paint thinner in the neighbor’s garage.

Sharkbait

Free beer is best beer

blaxabbath

I only pay for beer brewed by the can,

litre_cola

Yep, free beer is best beer, second place goes to free warm beer.

Viva La Tabula Raza

My pappy always told me the two best things in life were free beer and strange pussy. He amended that to include free dope after he retired from the Air Force and started smoking pot.

litre_cola

Free dope is fantastic although dangerous sometimes ask Bfc’s buddies who got my ginger snap cookies when they visited here…

blaxabbath

::training day gif::

Viva La Tabula Raza

As is strange pussy.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

They don’t remember shit, ask me instead.

King Hippo

Stormin’ Mormons, makin’ a run

SonOfSpam

Currently drinking a Sierra Nevada Tropical Torpedo IPA. The beer itself is pretty good, but wouldn’t Tropical Torpedo be an excellent name for a Sandals Resorts-branded dildo?

(I’ll wait for BallsOfSteel to answer this)

WCS

Drinking a Sierra Nevada Hazy Little Thing IPA, which sounds more like Brett Favre than a sex toy.

SonOfSpam

Haven’t had that…how is it?

WCS

Pretty damn good.

ballsofsteelandfury

Yes, yes it would.

SonOfSpam

Knew I could count on you.

blaxabbath

I will say that the 2-3 zone is a little less painful to watch. They throw some interesting little looks in there.

Wakezilla

With Henrik Sedin playing game 1300 tonight, I got thinking:

Marcel Dionne or Ovie is the Dan Marino of hockey. What are Henrik and Daniel Sedin equivalents?
Dan Foutes? Fran Tarkenton? Warren Moon?

SonOfSpam

John and Jaren Collins.

WCS

Tarkenton got to Super Bowls. The other other two never got that far. Maybe McNabb?

WCS

That we know of…

King Hippo

how is he on OT rules?

SonOfSpam

Anteaters up 4 at half. Favre is jealous.

blaxabbath

Mike Montgomery seems to know a lot as an announcer. Which is pretty interesting considering he was a washout coach.

WCS

Was he at Stanford?

blaxabbath

Yep — then nba— closed out at CAL.

SonOfSpam

Yeah, actually a good coach. But Blax worships at Lute Olsen’s altar, so…

blaxabbath

I have some very strong bias.

SonOfSpam

I get it…I know everything too.

blaxabbath

#draintheswamp

Wakezilla

With how much Belicheck has been allegedly veteod by Kraft and Brady this past year, if this was the WWE, Belicheck turns face and costs the P*triots the Superb Owl tomorrow. Then he joins Miami and fucks with them twice a year and burns the P*ts organization to the ground by airing out all their dark secrets.

WCS

Yeah, but, it’s not. We’re all boned.

Senor Weaselo

Chair shot in Brady?

King Hippo

Large moneys were on Indiana ATS (yay) and U-Dub moneyline (pending).

blaxabbath

Arizona starting surprisingly competitively (if not competent much).

King Hippo

You started tall, at least

blaxabbath

Middle third is where they lose any game.

King Hippo

You defend lazy as fuck, presume that’s how State managed to beat ya

blaxabbath

We beat ASU. Their first L.

Lost @CU.

King Hippo

I meant NC State

blaxabbath

NCSU is a top notch program.

Senor Weaselo

I believe I speak for everyone (okay, Sharky and Fronkensteen and me?) when I say goddammit, Ice Giants.

Sharkbait

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Gratliff

You do not speak for me, sir

Gratliff

How Wentz should be handling the Tom Brady MVP vote:
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Fronkenshteen

Hot take: Henrik Lundquist is an overrated, overpaid piece of shit.

litre_cola

he is just old.

King Hippo

I am also old, but to be fair was always a piece of shit

Wakezilla

This is a bad take.

Fronkenshteen

I never said I was right OR smart.

Gratliff

God damn it. I can not handle the thought of a bag of shit like Belichick winning another Super Bowl when it appears to bring him absolutely zero joy to do it. His entire existence at this point is just a gatekeeper preventing other people from being happy.

Unsurprised

Fuck it, dude. Fuck the NFL and football in general. I don’t care. I just want to hang out with you all.

King Hippo

Vandy FAILS to cover by a half-point. Assdicks.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yeah, that was closer than I’d have cared for. But 1 outta 3 foar the day ain’t great, so I ain’t braggin’.

King Hippo

it was a smaller bet, at least

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’m still down $100 overall on the day, but it coulda been worse.

Gratliff

I get anxiety just seeing how often you two get burned

theeWeeBabySeamus

He’s smarter than me. That’s the thing to remember.

King Hippo

I be a’ight if U-Dub beats AZ

theeWeeBabySeamus

Did you bet the Stormin’ Mormons or did you back off that one?
Hopefully the latter.

King Hippo

bet it, but small

King Hippo

Indiana covers WOO!!

Gratliff

Bringing up Case Keenum to honor the Minnesota Miracle, aka the final play of the 2017 Minnesota Vikings’ year.

Gratliff

“I’d like to first and foremost thank god who apparently found some other shit to do immediately following this play” – Case Keenum, paraphrased

theeWeeBabySeamus

Bruce Pearl is a piece o’ shit. Just like always.
Imma go make dinner then watch a movie. Or read a book. Or jerk off.

Maybe all of the above, but not sure in what order.

The moral of the story? Don’t succumb to the evils of Gamblor. There are no winners. Well, not me anyway.

ballsofsteelandfury

Did your box set arrive yet?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Supposed to be tomorrow.

ballsofsteelandfury

Dammit. I just watched the first one. GLORIOUS!!

I’m doing a marathon tomorrow instead of this NFL bullshit.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I can’t help it if you don’t have any patience.

ballsofsteelandfury

I haven’t seen a movie with so many gratuitous tits and hilarious dialogue in ages. The 80s were amazing.

Unsurprised

Wait. What?

ballsofsteelandfury

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litre_cola

Oh the Khnockers clan, I believe that they originally are from the Caucuses mountains

ballsofsteelandfury

Indeed.

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litre_cola

Well how much was your nae rolls shirt?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2DeX6ZrTBSw

ballsofsteelandfury

Slightly more but totally worth it.

Gratliff

I ignored the Paul Ryan thing, because I figured it was overblown or misstated, but that dumb motherfucker really did brag about someone making $75 more a year after the tax bill, didn’t he? Has there ever been a supposed intellectual policy wonk as fucking bad at policy or intellect or politics as Paul Ryan?

Unsurprised

No.

Let’s not forget to shit on the media people who sold him as a policy wonk without him ever actually showing evidence of competence in policy beyond him constantly sucking Ayn Rand’s dead dick.

WCS

He’s remarkably unlikable.

SonOfSpam

And he ignores leg day.

Fronkenshteen

Ice Giants!

litre_cola

I would really appreciate if they won this evening as the Ice Bombers won.

King Hippo

Rapey Sparty wedges the ball on the rim. On a 16-foot jumper. Holy shit.

Wakezilla

Ty Ronning is a beast this year. Did he or that guy from Medicine Hat score?

Gratliff

Dawk gets the biggest pop of the HoF class AS HE SHOULD. Fuck you, stabby.

Gratliff

Oh fuck. Favre is on the TV now. It is the single most evil show on television.

Gratliff

Also, Randy Moss is crying again. It’s more endearing than I would expect it to be

King Hippo

NBC will work hard to top it

King Hippo

Flyers lose – good or bad Iggles omen?

Wakezilla

Nice to see NFL writers living their midlife crisis through Tom Brady.

Unsurprised

Shame most of them aren’t experience end-of-life realizations.

King Hippo

I counted 7 missed layups in the last minute of play. #B1G

King Hippo

speedballs in the weed patch??

Unsurprised

Market bubble. There’s been an influx of out-of-state speculators financing massive growing operations and dispensaries have opened up everywhere. Eventually the bubble is going to burst, but the larger operations are already pushing out smaller operations while dispensaries come and go because the markets in Portland and the other I-5 cities are oversaturated.

It’s also worth noting that Oregon has always been a huge producer of marijuana. There are plenty of states where it was exported to and remain importers of OR pot. It’s not BC, but …

King Hippo

DO NOT pick Rapey Sparty in your bracketology, folks. Even if they fuck with Tony Bennett again, these guys are bricklayers.

Gratliff

So as I was saying the other day about the normies here not giving a fuck: I went to a charity dodgeball tournament thing today, and it was a sea of humanity swathed in spartan green.

King Hippo

Didja work out some anger issues?

Gratliff

Alas, it was 4th-8th graders. TIL middle school girls are angry as fuck at the faces of young males

King Hippo

gettin’ they #metoo on early. Makes sense.

LemonJello

What was the ratio of groin shots to face shots?

Unsurprised

Did someone already post that concussion supercut?

King Hippo

Also, can somebody please tell Indiana to stop sucking at the hoopsball. You don’t have to win 2nite, just cover, ya shitbags.

Unsurprised

Fuck Indiana.

King Hippo

Man, I buyed a sweatshirt when they hired Arch Miller! Plus, FOAR BROCKY!!

King Hippo

As Hippo Thoughts previously noted, the NFL MVP award is now to be viewed with as much honour and dignity as the JD Power thingy. Todd Muthafuckin’ Gurley not being unanimous MVP is a goddamned joke.

Gratliff

But sir, you can’t be both the Offensive Player of the Year AND the MVP. That would just be silly.

Gratliff

Kareem Hunt’s complete lack of concern over Rob Riggle’s existence is correct.

King Hippo

KHunt, meet cu…

Gratliff

Ginger Hammer is on my TV now
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LemonJello

You need an old priest and a young priest to perform an exorcism on that tv.

Unsurprised

Why couldn’t they have hired the same armorer they used for The Crow?

Viva La Tabula Raza

Maybe y’all will take some small possible foreshadowing comfort in knowing that the previous two times that Brady got the MVP he did not win the Super Bowl. Hell, he didn’t even make the SB in 2010, last time he won the MVP..

Gratliff

Why am I watching the NFL awards bullshit?
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Unsurprised

Masochism? Lost a bet? Stuck in traction?

LemonJello

You touch yourself and that’s your punishment?