LAST CALL! Pats – Iggles #SB52 Open Thread

Well well… WELL. This being a Sunday afternoon, Hate Week is no more.

Via reactiongifs.us

And yet, the Patriots are in the Super Bowl, again. No. 1 seed in the AFC against the Iggles, No. 1 seed in the NFC. Philadelphia is riding a weekend high, after the Hall of Fame selection of Brian Dawkins. And Terrell Owens; say what you will about T.O. (there’s plenty). The guy balled.

John Clayton, 2/6/05 via espn.com

That was back in Super Bowl XXwhatever. This time around, Philadelphia has a damn fine roster, notably better than New England’s—in most positions. The one really at stake, well…

Tron Brady: what has NOT being said about him? I heard talk about his career thoroughly eclipsing those of all-time NFL greats, to the point that Brady’s true peers are in other sports—like Gordie Howe, Michael Jordan, or Barry Bonds.

The coaching: what has not being said about Bill Belichick. His assistants have been living the life, getting the Pats to the Super Bowl while being the presumptive new head coaches of the Clots (Josh McDaniels) and Loins (Matt Patricia). Losing to this Eagles team will not hurt their bona fides.

On the Philly sideline, QB coach John DeFilippo has gotten interest from several teams. Super Bowl host Minnesota needs a new offensive coordinator, so DeFlip can’t ask for a better Pro Day. The way Foles stepped aside around the pocket against the Vikings D in the last game bodes well for the coach and QB.

The focus on the Eagles has been on making a game plan that Nick Foles would execute without difficulty, putting success in the hands of Agholor, Ajayi, Blount, Ertz, and Jeffrey. They good. Shit, even Torrey Smith can still force a defense to account for him. So Foles has options, but the question remains: what will he do when confronted with the chance to audible?

Via giphy.com

Eagles defensive coordinator Jim Schwartz, this guy,

via giphy.com

has also been updating his résumé. He’s got a dynamite roster too, including Chris Long—who won the Super Bowl last year with New England. With LeGarrette Blount providing the debriefing for the Pats offense, I’d say the Iggles got prettay, prettay good mojo going into the game. A shame it’s played in the Birdmurderdome.

via usatoday.com

So the NFC aviary has been owned in Super Bowls of late, with the Pats doing most of the damage. Big deal. I think the Eagles break the hex, 27-24, and the promise of a New Era will carry us through the goddamn offseason.

Then again, this is New England. Any HATAHs might wanna try something stronger than alcohol.

via luckymojo.com

Last day of the season! Let it out.

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WCS

I was hoping he would sing, “Dick In a Box.”

Gratliff

This is music, apparently

Romonobyl

This? Or Keyboard Cat on teh YooToob.

Discuss…

Doktor Zymm

KEYBOARD CAT

...

Honestly, the country freaking out over an exposed tit seems like an entirely different world.

Doktor Zymm

That’s a lot of lasers. I like lasers. Too bad it doesn’t make up for this music being soulless.

Petronel

…why…

Spur

I’m writing the FCC.

...

WOOOO FIRST EVER 22-12 HALF TIME SCORE

Col. Duke LaCross

And The Colonel scores $50 on a square pool!

Spur

fuck off Fallon

Claymaker

Do you guys think Lindsey Vonn pauses to relive all her horrific injuries before she does anything?

/Lindsey opens door to bathroom
//Closes eyes
///Imagines shattering her femur for 30 seconds

THIS GIRL IS ON FIRE

Brocky

I know we make a lot of jokes,

But for christ sake how uncharismatic is tony dungy?

King Hippo

#BlackJimmyFallon

Col. Duke LaCross

Lindsey Vonn is pretty attractive.

Dick E. Phuck

Skiers are underrated in the athlete sexiness department.

Doktor Zymm

And also more badass than you could ever hope to be

Col. Duke LaCross

Without question!

Brocky

She’s like anna cournacova if anna cournacova was as good as the williams sisters

litre_cola
litre_cola

Holy shit they stole it from my Bombers!!!

Viva La Tabula Raza

They just cut an Eli Manning commercial short to go to halftime show. WTF

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MY GOD. That’s Janet Jackson’s music!

Dick E. Phuck

How great would it be if Janet Jackson came out and hit Timberlake with a Stone Cold Stunner or something.

...

And tore the front of his pants off.

I really want one of manatees to wear a “I fuck on the first date” t-shirt.

clint greasewood

Matt Patricia wins goes to Giants, lose lose to Lions.

...

Oh Jesus fuck I just saw an for a woman challenging Rauner in the primary for Illinois governor and she’s pissed Rauner didn’t go far enough.

GUH

Col. Duke LaCross

Yeah, that was the most disgusting thing I saw all week. And I sat through all six hours of the SOTU speech!

Brocky

Sounds like a republican.

Just appeal to the crazy

herodotus450

Google Image search’s results for Katie Nolan are WOEFULLY inaccurate, and I hereby volunteer to humbly comb through all possible results and do the necessary collation and categorization and concatenation.
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theeWeeBabySeamus

concatenation

You misspelled “erection”.

Mr. Ayo

We appreciate your sacrifice.

Dick E. Phuck
JustStopDude

Doug Peterson looks like the kind of man that opens his mail up at a bar.

Brocky

……..wut?

King Hippo

Know what would be funny? If at halftime, Tom Brady fucking dies.

Brocky

Like heroically or comically?

LemonJello

painfully

King Hippo

As long as shit and/or blood leaks out of his anus, I’m cool either way.

Horatio Cornblower

See you fuckers for the second half.

Which I’m sure will in no way be any different from the first half and not end in a way that makes me want to drink bleach.

Spanky Datass

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...

This is funnie.

Spanky Datass

I think KSK’er Mike Wallace and Grommet made it back at The Olde Place.

Doktor Zymm

While my dating life has proven that I can stick with someone totally dysfunctional for years, I am kind of getting tired of the Redacted’s shit, so that may be why I’m getting more and more comfortable with rooting for the Eagles during this game. Don’t worry though, it’s not permanent. Though there’s a reasonable chance I go Raiders next year.

Horatio Cornblower

Somewhere, Dan Snyder sadly swipes right on Tinder.

King Hippo

THAT’s the spirit!!

/at least you didn’t double down your dysfunction and marry/spawn like most of us did in that situation

Gratliff

You know there ARE teams 95% of the country doesn’t hate to choose from

Doktor Zymm

Says the Eagles fan?

Gratliff

I can not help where I was born

LemonJello

Amendola running his cock holster AND shoved a ref – toss him out!

Horatio Cornblower

Bizarre call to end the half.

“Well, no way we score on this but let’s see if we can’t get Danny killed here.”

Viva La Tabula Raza

Good game so far!

The Maestro

The fuck kind of play was that????

...

Alright, fire up the Prince hologram and prepare Timberlake’s testes.

Gatoraids

Timberlake going to Do a tribute to Jackal and pull out a chainsaw

Dick E. Phuck

Are they opening up hailing frequencies to the great beyond??

Doktor Zymm

They nixed the Prince hologram after someone talking to JT about how Prince specifically said he didn’t want a hologram of himself

Spur

Brady is good but he’s no Rodgers. I mean Brady likes women,,,

Mr. Ayo

The Gang Goes to Halftime

King Hippo

imagine how much blow Rickety Cricket has done!

Beerguyrob

Brandon Cooks would be useful here.

litre_cola

I have to go for a walk at half time. This is crazy.

WhyEaglesWhy

I’m calling my dad. I hope he’s not doing his usual “start watching an hour late so he doesn’t have to watch commercials”

yeah right

Don’t call because he is.

Gratliff

Brady making legit mistakes seems so unreal

Horatio Cornblower

Philly must have snuck a tomato into his pre-game PED smoothie.

Spur

Brady runs slower than Manning

Beerguyrob

No feedbag; fewer national sponsors.

Dick E. Phuck

If they make this hail Mary? So help me god.

Gatoraids

Ref will call pass interference in the end zone

Dick E. Phuck

Doug Peterson has more manhood than Brett Favre, but then again, who doesn’t?

King Hippo

Everybody do the pinky wave!

Spur

Pats get the ball after half?

Beerguyrob

Yep.

King Hippo

not if Philly surprise onside kicks it!

Beerguyrob

Is Gisele going to leave Brady for Foles now?

Brocky

I mean, theyre totally getting divorced when brady retires, so she may as well start early

The Maestro

At least my food is good.

...

BALLS

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Dunstan

In all the thousands of hours of pre-Super Bowl discussion, did anyone suggest the game might hinge on which QB was better at catching passes?

herodotus450

What is this Cris keeps saying about not being eligible to catch if the QB is under center?

Horatio Cornblower

The first rule of watching football is you do not listen to Cris Collinsworth.

The second rule of watching football is you do not listen to Cris Collinsworth.

LemonJello

Yes, that way lies madness.

Dunstan

He’s right.l NFL Rule 8, Article 6e:

A player who takes his stance behind center as a T-formation quarterback is not an eligible receiver unless, before the ball is snapped, he legally moves to a position at least one yard behind the line of scrimmage or on the end of the line, and is stationary in that position for at least one second before the sna

herodotus450

Huh. Is that why some “QB throws to himself” plays are legal and some aren’t, I wonder?

Dunstan

Well, I think if a pass is tipped by a defensive player then any player can catch it, eligible or not

makeitsnowondem

Well, it seems to me that the best quarterback is actually Nick Foles, who can catch.

...

*taps mic*

Nick Trolls.

Claymaker

Another instance when they make a big deal about LINED UP IN SHOTGUN SO HE WAS ELIGIBLE when it doesn’t matter.

HE WASN’T THE FUCKING QUARTERBACK IN THAT FORMATION CRIS

Doktor Zymm

And even more impressive, THEY MADE AN EXTRA POINT

Viva La Tabula Raza

Meh. You just embarrassed Brady. That always ends well.

Dunstan

Sure. Because normally, Brady doesn’t try in Super Bowls

Gratliff

Doug Pederson gives absolutely no fucks about any sort of common sense and I love it all

Doktor Zymm

i really really hope they only called that cause fuck brady

...

YES FUCK BRADY FOREVER

Gratliff

Get that big dick swagger back, Philly

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