Your Monday Evening Patriots Schadenfreude Open Thread

NFL News:

  • The Eagles parade is set for Thursday. It might actually be worth a liveblog.
    • 11:00AM eastern, so someone in the Eastern time zone will have to take care of that.

  • Most talk this morning was focused on where the hell Malcolm Butler was during the game.
    • “I respect Malcolm’s competitiveness and I am sure that he felt like he could have helped,” Belichick said, via WEEI.com.
    • He must have done something to piss Grumblelord off, in what is the second-most glaring omission in Super Bowl history.
This is the first.
  • Oh, and on the subject of the Pats defence, Matt Patricia is now officially the head coach of the Detroit Lions.
    • And just who are they considering as Matt Patricia’s replacement?
  • On a personal note, one of my favourite players in the NFL finally gets a well-deserved ring.
    • It’s just too bad Darren Sproles couldn’t contribute more beyond coaching up his replacement, Corey Clement.
      • Mind you, the kid caught four passes for 100 yards and a touchdown.

  • With the Eagles victory, there are now only 12 teams that have never won a Super Bowl.
    • The Browns, Lions, Texans & Jags are the only teams to have never played in The Big Game™®©
  • Until Low Commander made me the awesome banner pic, I thought I had the perfect Sad Brady photo at the head. I still love it for all the bleakness & misery it contains. It wraps up “Hate Week” better than I could have written.

Finally, let’s check in on Philadelphia:

 

https://twitter.com/murphy818/status/960383848625393664

https://twitter.com/pixelyunicorn/status/960374566697791488


Tonight’s sports:

  • NHL:
    • Predators at Islanders – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
    • Rangers at Stars – 8:30PM | NHLN
  • NBA:
    • Trail Blazers at Pistons – 7:00PM | TSN / NBA TV
    • Jazz at Pelicans – 8:00PM | Sportsnet1
    • Mavericks at Clippers – 10:30PM | Sportsnet1 / NBA TV
  • NCAA:
    • Men’s
      • Basketball:
        • Syracuse at Louisville – 7:00PM | ESPN
        • West Virginia at Oklahoma – 9:00PM | ESPN
        • Hampton at North Carolina Central – 7:00PM | ESPNU
      • Hockey:
        • Beanpot Semifinal #2 – Boston vs. Harvard – 7:30PM | TSN2 / NESN
          • radio broadcasts found here.
    • Women’s
      • South Carolina at Mississippi State – 7:00PM | ESPN2
      • Texas at West Virginia – 7:00PM | FS1
      • Oklahoma at Baylor – 9:00PM | FS1
  • WWE:
    • Monday Night Raw – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360

There were 2350 comments during the Super Bowl Open Thread, making it the most heavily-commented post in DFO history.

THAT’S GOOD HUSTLE!

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo

Fun fact, in the playbook that’s listed as HB Smash. The position they’re referring to is, of course, the Hulk-back.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Hulk back is also a term used in Switzerland referring to a male at orgasm in the doggie style mating position.

Unsurprised

I would love to see a timeline of posting frequency during SB LI because that 600-post dip between 50 and 52 is pretty glaring. My guess is that everyone just left in the 4th quarter to kill themselves – just like the Falcons did.

litre_cola

Did anyone read the eagles bye week post? Asking for a friend.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Friends!

Brick Meathook

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yeah right

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Who the fuck am I kidding; the drudgery of work will kill it by the end of the week.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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yeah right

Going to try to give a synopsis of Phantom Thread. It’s a Paul Thomas Anderson movie.

Don’t ask what the movie is about ask who’s in it.
Incredible performances, gorgeous photography, perfect direction.

If you’re not familiar with the director you will be confused but if you like his work then you’ll respect this.
Similar to The Master it’s more about extracting an amazing acting performance than it is about telling a story.
Not a threat for best picture but Daniel Day Lewis is a threat for best actor.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

What is the movie about?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

*You are not my supervisor.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Mmm…super visor…”

– Sean Payton

yeah right

I have no idea.
A dress maker in post WWII England.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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I’m all ears.

Unsurprised

Cutler on the hunt for a pack of smokes.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I really liked There Will Be Blood and Boogie Nights

I think I would have liked other but my hatred of Tom Cruise and Adam Sandler destroyed any enjoyment of the other two I’ve seen. I hate Marky-Mark too, but he was cast well as an idiot.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’m of the opinion that Anderson’s greatest talent (among many) is his ability to squeeze every last drop of available talent out of anyone he works with. Sometimes it’s easy (Julianne Moore, John C. Reilly) and sometimes it’s a miracle (Wahlberg, Sandler) but he always seems to do it.

yeah right

Exactly.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Or the first part of cap killing “free” agency.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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This may last until…. the draft.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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It’s like the day after a great holiday season when you received what you gave.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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I’m still feeling it…. so to speak.

WCS

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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rockingdog

a fantastic article about farming in California. Check it!

https://story.californiasunday.com/resnick-a-kingdom-from-dust?src=longreads

yeah right

I read that. Long read but incredibly cool. The crossover shit with the girl who copied the Pentagon Papers and the latent guilt for hiring the undocumented workers. Solid read. Give yourself a lot of time.

ballsofsteelandfury

Great read. Thanks for sharing it!

theeWeeBabySeamus

That was ugly, but I’ll take it.
Congrats to WCS. And also to my betting acct. Wooooo!!!!!

Mr. Ayo

Nice win. But that ain’t no final 4 team.

WCS

We’re just good enough to blow a 14-point lead with eight to play in the Elite Eight.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Not if they keep jacking 3’s and not pounding inside. You are correct, Sir.

Mr. Ayo

Phrasing?

WCS

WHOA NELLIE

rockingdog

I kind of want to try these.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Don’t. I sent them to a friend as a joke, and his colon basically exploded.

JerBear50

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rockingdog

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OK then.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I had the peanut butter ones and your colon is a pussy…… wait, phrasing.

Gratliff

Somebody’s been watching Mr. Hands again

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Watching?

Spanky Datass

I seem to remember Cinnamon Toast Crunch being a coveted player in a cereal draft at The Olde Place. These just look like a sugar bomb. 2/10 would not bang, blast nor shred.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

You say sugar bomb like it’s a bad thing.

*It is, but still.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

They look like the pressed floor sweepings of regular Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Get your ass up you pussy and oh by the way your bitch act just gave WVU a free time out you dumbshit.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hey look WVU…dumping it inside works after all huh????

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Did our massive amount of comments yesterday lead to hefty internet millions? Because I’d like to never go back to work please.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Goddammit ‘Neers, get some fucking points here please.

WCS

It’s “Eers,” not “Neers.”

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Correct spelling in West Virginia? That’s unpossible!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Wow, I’m betting on and rooting for your boys, and you’re gonna do me like that.
I guess I mistook them for App State…you know, those guys do occasionally win at least.

😛

JerBear50

I think Trump made a very, very similar comment during the SB.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Gratliff

This seems like a good thing

Dow futures point to a more than 1,000-point fall at the open https://t.co/v75sIUbjUZ

— CNBC (@CNBC) February 6, 2018

https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js

theeWeeBabySeamus

I think I would enjoy punching Trae Young.

No…check that. I know I would enjoy punching Trae Young.

theeWeeBabySeamus

That was a bullshit call. Or non call I guess.
That ball was kicked, should be WVU ball with a new shot clock.

WCS

#Big12Refs

WCS

BAH GAWD THAT’S JIM ROSS BEHIND FRASCHILLA! HE’S HERE! HE’S HERE TONIGHT IN NORMAN, KING!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hey, WVU, stop settling foar bullshit threes you can’t hit. Work the paint, assholes.

WCS

This is how we’ve managed to blow those leads.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yup. Huggie needs to kick some ass.

Senor Weaselo

Ah, there’s the inevitable bit where things fall apart!

Romonobyl

That reminds me, time for my annual physical.

Gratliff

Took a look at the standings to see if it confirmed my opinion of the division, and the Devils are the only team with a winning streak of 1 or higher, and Pens are the only team with a winning record in their last 10. Oof.

Doktor Zymm

I’m happy for the city of Philadelphia, but I must have heard the Eagles fight song 10 times on the radio today, because ‘news’
I think horse shit eating guy is by far the most unique Eagles fan gone crazy thing, I mean climbing on stuff and setting fires and flipping cars is pretty standard riot fare, but eating horse poop is really going the extra mile.

Romonobyl

Bath salts is a helluva drug.

WCS

#BillsMafia has to up their game. I suspect an all-out food fight, except with human feces at their home opener.

Doktor Zymm

Condoms full of shaving cream version of a water balloon fight would be fun

JerBear50

I think it’s far better to be able to feel the water balloon fight.

Romonobyl

I prefer aerosol whipped cream. Tastes better and there’s all the residual nitrous oxide for later!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yeah, take your sad little timeout Okie.
Fuck you assholes you are going down.
I hope.

The Maestro

I’m still sad.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Sorry dude, sincerely.
But you’ll be fine this time next year.

Senor Weaselo

But you’re not flying!
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Romonobyl

Been there many times, never fun.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

With the amount of success that team has had; you’ll get over it… and without sympathy. Maybe next year we can get the Steelers to lose another one.

Meanwhile elsewhere;

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Romonobyl

I love that picture of Tawmmy sitting all sad on the field. He just looks so…deflated.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

It’s as if he was…..

Senor Weaselo

It took almost two years, but I finished my bottle of Curbstomp. Padre Weaselo looked at my sauce-drenched wings and called me a savage. Too bad they don’t make more. Well, that frees up the fridge to buy The Last Dab!

herodotus450
blaxabbath

I just finished Dunkirk.

Romonobyl

Thumbs up or down?

blaxabbath

Up

Romonobyl

Same here, I like a movie that can tell the story with minimal dialogue. You might want to watch The Darkest Hour for more details about the event.

herodotus450

You’re about 60 years late

Senor Weaselo

I see the Ice Giants are continuing with their “Who needs defense?” strategy. It is, believe it or not, not working entirely awfully. Only mostly awfully!

Gratliff

The metro division got real bad real fast

Spanky Datass

Ice Cowboys are pinging pucks off the pipes like it’s a musical instrument.

Senor Weaselo

Doink approves.

WCS

Time to blow another second half lead!

theeWeeBabySeamus

You shut your whore mouth.

Don T

According to guy from Pro Football Focs
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herodotus450

smh he was so close why not just run instead of trying to get passed the coaches?

Don T

I thought one smoked to AVOID meltdowns smh

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

If Malcom Butler had played, the Patriots probably would have won. So we can give credit for this glorious, glorious result to the humble cannabis plant.

WEED FOR THE WEED GOD!

DANK FOR THE DANK THRONE!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Seems legit as a Trump tweet.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Sounds like Roommate Commander is having some sort of fight with one of her friends over the phone. Something about her friend not being told about an engagement? The shouting has been going on for almost an hour now. Pfft come on, only be mad if you didn’t get invited.

/Cracks another beer

herodotus450

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Wakezilla

According to oddsshark, which was updated 8days ago, Ice Blue Bombers are listed as 45/1 odds of winning the cup and the Ice P*triots are 35/1, while the Ice Broncos are listed as 100/1? If this is real, those are some great odds

Romonobyl

That does it! I’m selling all my stocks and buying all the Sears and Kmart shares I can. Oh yeah, I heard that airbag manufacturer…Tana-something…was a real steal.
What could possibly go wrong?

Romonobyl

There’s a petition out to make the day after the Superb Owl the next national holiday. I for one am 100% on board.
LET’S HEAR IT FOR SMUNDAY!!!!!

Mr. Ayo

As someone who has Monday’s off, I can fully endorse this petition.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Three cheers for Smutday!

rockingdog

I found a funny:
[dog walking a human]
*walks by a coffeeshop with its door open*
HUMAN: *tries to sprint in* COFFEE
DOG: woah boy *pulls leash* easy there

HT @cwhudson

Mr. Ayo

Two thirds of the earth is covered by water. KONATE blocked it from the other third.

theeWeeBabySeamus

That dude is amazing.

herodotus450

KONATE 2012?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Dow futures are down another -200. Yikes. Thankfully, I had all my money in bitcoin. Haven’t checked on those since December. Let’s just roll out the old ticker…oh…oh no.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

I thought you divested bitcoin at the awesomest right time.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I did! 17.2k or thereabouts. Blood money, too, cause I won it by picking Duke.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Not that 17.2k is the price that I sold at, not how much $ I made.

theeWeeBabySeamus

So asking foar a loan when WVU lets me down tonight probably won’t work out well?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

tWBS [artist’s conception]

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theeWeeBabySeamus

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WCS

The Confederated slave holdings are still holding steady.

Gratliff

I got worried about this a few weeks back and switched 80% of my 401k to bonds, and while I am not good at the whole investing thing and have no idea if this is just a hiccup or the cliff, I can’t wrap my head around believing in endless rapid economic growth. I knew a bunch of people that had their retirement just gutted back in 2007, most of which were blue collar types with no chance of recouping their losses by retirement age. This shit always ends badly.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Shit sorry. WVU ML just jumped to +165. $300 down.

Don’t let me down cousinfuckers.

Mr. Ayo

Good luck!

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Hey dammit that’s my gif!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And this either gets my acct back into the 700+ range…or it wipes it out and I quit.

Mr. Ayo

Hope you win so we can see more hot betting action on teens from you tomorrow.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Teens? That’s Balls’ territory.

ballsofsteelandfury

HEY! Everyone knows Single Moms are my thing…

Romonobyl

Someone has to help them get started.

ballsofsteelandfury

Do I dare make the large object through the vagina joke?

I dare not.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hymen?

Gratliff

If I won $10, I would cash out, delete my account, and change my name. How are you just not constantly in fear?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Meh. What’s there to be afeerd of? I never bet anything I can’t afford to lose. And the betting makes it more fun as long as I don’t let it get out of hand. Which on occasion does happen, and I step away. So far.

Also, this….
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Gratliff

I don’t necessarily mean in the sense of like gambling addiction or anything, just if I lose $5, I’m inconsolable about all the things I could have bought with $5. Every so often I get dragged to a casino up here and if I don’t immediately win, I just give up and find something else to do.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Totally understand. In spite of my recent “diversions”, I’m mostly the same way. December Vegas trip gave me the fever again. But I’m about to quit either way.

It really can get out of hand. And like you, I like my money in my pocket.

ballsofsteelandfury

I look at it as “entertainment” money. You regularly spend $20 or more for a movie with popcorn/ drink. Do you get inconsolable if the movie sucks?

Gratliff

No, then I get insufferable. I went to see Transformers 4 and Jurassic World because my kid was super hyped for them. I have yet to stop bitching about either film. My ex-wife and her redneck buddies dragged me to see Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector when I was lobbying to see Talladega Nights and I’ve been lording that over her for 12 years.

ballsofsteelandfury

I don’t care who you are, that’s funny right there!

Senor Weaselo

Shit, the last movie I saw was Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them.
/No, I didn’t see Rogue One OR Last Jedi.
//Believe it or not I don’t know why.

WCS

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https://www.si.com/nfl/2018/02/05/eagles-fans-celebrate-super-bowl-ritz-carlton-awning-video

My buddy who lives in Philly said about 70% of the office was “sick” today and skipped work.

Redshirt

Alcohol Poisoning is a medical condition!

Redshirt

NFLN is airing Super Bowl LII again.

Gratliff

The condensed version is so much more entertaining. The reviews alone knocks 30% off the runtime

theeWeeBabySeamus

And 50% without the bullshit commercials.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’m considering dumping enough moar dough in my Gamblor! acct to moneyline WVU +145 at Oklahoma foar $300. I believe in the cousinfuckers, but also fuck Oklahoma.

Someone please talk me out of this in the next….oh, 45 minutes or so.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Also, Hippo’s ‘Cuse moneyline @ ‘Ville looking good so far.
Wooo foar Hippo.

Mr. Ayo

Trae Young revenge game

theeWeeBabySeamus

Ya think? I’m seeing Okie laying a turd at home and WVU emerging as the team they are/should be.

Mr. Ayo

I don’t watch CBB until March, so maybe!

theeWeeBabySeamus

WVU is legit final four material if they can get out of their own heads.
I’m hoping this will be the game they figure that shit out.

I haven’t laid the coin yet tho because I’m a pussy.

WCS

I wouldn’t.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’m a WVU believer. But tonight might be the wrong night, granted.

Redshirt

So someone stole an ostrich last night in Philly. That may be the most normal thing that happened during Sodom and Gomorrah II.

Unsurprised

LET MY SWEET DEE GO!

Viva La Tabula Raza

On a scale of 0 to 10, 0 being suicidal/outraged Pats fan, 5 being “not giving a fuck either way,” and 10 being orgasmic over the loss by the Pats (90% of the nation, apparently), I reckon I’m at about somewhere between 3 and 4. If the strip sack hadn’t occurred, I’m pretty confident that Brady would have driven the team down the field for the winning TD, but it did and that’s the way it goes. Good for Philly and their D. I’ll always love a game that goes down to the last play. I’m disappointed, sure, but I am not gonna get all worked up about non-overturned TDs (looked like TDs to me anyway) or Malcolm Butler being benched.
One of my co-workers (Chiefs fan) asked how I was taking the loss, and I told him that, given that “we” had been to 3 of the last 4 SBs, won two of them with dramatic come from behind wins, and lost a nail-biter in the last two minutes of the 3rd one, I had nothing to complain about and from that perspective, who would? If Pats hadn’t had some luck on their side and some bad coaching calls on the other side by the other bird teams, this would have been their fifth SB loss in a row and they would be the Bills of the 21st century (disregarding ’02/’04/’05).
What a great game.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

*It would have been a potentially tying TD

Viva La Tabula Raza

Well yeah, except PHI was up 38-33 when the strip sack occurred, after which PHI scored the field goal that made it 41-33 and NE took over with a minute to go. THAT would have been the tying TD (with 2-pt conversion luck).

Game Time Decision

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When your crazy diet and supplements give you weapons grade farts, no one sits with you

herodotus450

Looks like I need to amend my statement from yesterday:
Bitcoin crashing faster than Ayrton Senna Sally Ride Christa McAuliffe

Gratliff

-1 surly bond

herodotus450

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