Your “No, No…Stop. No Fighting…” Wednesday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

Beerguyrob

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Beerguyrob

(banner pic courtesy bostonmagazine)

NFL Notes:

  • As expected, the 2018 NFL Schedule Release Presented by Verizon will be Thursday evening at 8:00 PM ET
    • Yes – that’s what they’re calling it. Because, you see, in the NFL, everything is marketable.
Even death.

 

  • The internet is stirring the pot of dissension in New England, on the heels of Dreamboat not reporting to voluntary OTAs.
    • It comes down to Belichick’s aggravation with the TB12 system interfering with “The Patriot Way”©®™
      • Oh man, misunderstandings are the core of any good sitcom. For viewing purposes:
        • Bill Belichick = Jack Tripper
        • Tom Brady = Janet Wood
        • Julian Edelman = Chrissy
        • Robert Kraft = Mr. Roper
          • Mrs. Roper is either dead or off visiting her mother every week
        • Gronk = Larry Dallas
        • I assume Lana is played by whatever MILF Belichick is currently chasing
    • In the end, I believe this top commenter at PFT says it best:

 

  • Speaking of rumour-mongering, after all the talk yesterday about hurt feelings, Aaron Rodgers said today he “knows his role” as the Packers QB.
    • The Allagash hustlers over at the MMQB go one step further and come juuuuuuuuuust short of calling him a whiny bitch:
      • A player’s power in his organization is directly proportional to the possibility of him wearing a different uniform sometime soon. No threat of departure, no demands. At this point, you might as well call it Rodgers’ Law.

Tonight’s sports:

  • NHL:
    • GOLF is not a typo; that’s where they’re showing the games. Old people gon’ be mad!
      • But at least Phoenix will now get to see some playoff hockey.
    • Penguins at Flyers – 7:00PM | NBCSN / CBC (Pens up 2-1)
    • Lightning at Devils – 7:30PM | GOLF / Sportsnet (Bolts up 2-1)
    • Predators at Avalanche – 10:00PM | NBCSN / Sportsnet360 (Preds up 2-1)
    • Ducks at Sharks – 10:30PM | GOLF / Sportsnet1 (Sharks up 3-0)
  • NBA:
    • Pacers at Cavaliers – 7:00PM | TNT / TSN
    • Timberwolves at Rockets – 9:30PM | TNT / TSN
  • MLB:
    • Indians vs. Twins – 7:00PM | ESPN / TSN2

I just think of Gary Bettman choking on his coffee at the thought of both LA teams out of the playoffs after the first round. Dr. Krieger?

Beerguyrob
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.

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theeWeeBabySeamusWakezillaSenor WeaseloMr. AyoMoose -The End Is Well Nigh Recent comment authors
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JustStopDude
JustStopDude

About a year ago, the idiots that run our HR handed access to the employee W-2 stash. So my employer handed out credit monitoring service to us all as a “Sorry we hired a fucking moron” sort of thing.

I hate this service. Every month, it gives you a security warning update. Whenever I check it, its just the update for the sex offenders in my area. Every fucking time, I look through it even though all it is going to do is freak me out.

Two and a half blocks from me, there is a guy that apparently did time for incest, rape, sodomy, and carnal knowledge of a minor.

I never thought I would say this, but I think I understand the perspective of people that participate in lynch mobs.

blaxabbath

Carnal knowledge?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Is there any other kind?

D. Trump

theeWeeBabySeamus

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Wakezilla

Here’s Salina de La Renta, an indy wrestler who has a ways to go to get into the WWE. Which means she has to be nice to her fan base!

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Wakezilla

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Senor Weaselo

You get a chair to the back! You get a chair to the back! YOU ALL GET CHAIRS TO THE BACK!

Wait, that’s not what you meant?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Next on a very special episode of Sunday Gravy.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Strangely, I’m craving a banana at the moment.
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

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Senor Weaselo

Put a ripe banana right into your favorite ear!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

There’s a treasure to be found.
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo

Shouldn’t that be a G?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

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Senor Weaselo

I mean… kinda?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

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Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Is it wrong that I know who this is?

And no, I don’t mean Patrick. Though the look on his face seems apropos.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Since you don’t even know Penthouse I’m going to assume you’re lying about knowing her.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I said I know who she is. I didn’t say I knew her.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

They dated for a while; nothing serious. Give him a break. Seamus just didn’t see it going anywhere.

theeWeeBabySeamus

She’s got weird tits and blinks weird during oral sex.
2/10,….would still totally bang.

Senor Weaselo

I would be very surprised if I get the Golf Channel.

Nope, we do not get the Golf Channel.

blaxabbath

Millions of people?
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NFL fans?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Sorry. But no, not really.
The real heroes….

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

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blaxabbath

That whole genre….I just don’t get.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Well, it’s funny at least.

But yeah, old guy gay orgy porn for real ain’t my thing.

NO HONEST!!!!!!!

blaxabbath

Not that there’s anything wrong with that!

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

There’s an awful lot wrong with that.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

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theeWeeBabySeamus

GODDAMMIT TOONCES!!!!!

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Damn. She needs corrective lenses.

Or maybe just a smaller grog.

Senor Weaselo

Can someone please beat the Gritsawx? Possibly with sticks? Or socks fulla nickels? I’m not picky.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

When I seek spiritual guidance, I always find Leviticus 3:14 to be of great comfort:

Then he shall offer from it, as his offering for an offering by fire to the Lord, the fat covering the entrails, and all the fat that is on the entrails, and the two kidneys with the fat that is on them at the loins, and the appendage of the liver which he shall take away with the kidneys.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Oh dangit. I forgot I need to return a coupla calls from earlier….
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Senor Weaselo

You have SFW gifs now?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Well, for now at least.

Still willing to link real porn tho if you guys don’t do your jobs.

LOL….jobs.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

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WCS’ favorite bassists….GO!!!!!!

John Entwistle (tWBS wins)

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Who?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

FWIW, I might have cheated.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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WCS

Ice Donks goal about to be called back.

WCS

Or not. Goaltender interference is the new “what is a catch?”

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Replays are the tool of the DEVIL.

Wakezilla

It’s not even hard to figure out. It’s like the NHL had an extra brain fart this year.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo
theeWeeBabySeamus

I bet that banana seat smells…..good.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Sweet cute kitty.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo

Those are some interesting directorial choices in Don Giovanni.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

12:09 am EDT…59 posts.

You guys keep this sorry shit up and I’ll start posting a countdown of my favorite porn clips.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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ballsofsteelandfury

I love these.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

We need one with Stormy and Trump shopped in.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

here we go. And I have even seen that one and forgot….hysterical memory syndrome.

ballsofsteelandfury

Shercock Holmes?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

I have pulled off four time zones in the last four days.

Fuck this shit.

ballsofsteelandfury

Get yo ass to Hawaii for the 5th this weekend!

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

I’ve “pulled off” daily for a while now.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I will be doing 11 over the weekend, four flights, three layovers, should be…… fu…… a thing.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Not to be that guy, but I mean actually sleeping in each of those time zones.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

What; you can’t sleep on the plain?

Not to be that guy; but we are both bitching about first world problems.

theeWeeBabySeamus

It’s 11:45pm EDT and there’s only 42 comments on our open thread tonight.

It’s like I don’t even know you people anymore.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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ballsofsteelandfury

I guess we have more Kings fans than we thought…

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Fuck Eastern time.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

I’m reading The Bible.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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ballsofsteelandfury

How does it end?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

This time the butler didn’t do it; he was a victim.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Sorry *SPOILERS!*

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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WCS

Outside of hawkey, I’m so desperately looking for escape, I’m watching longplays of the DOS game, Dune 2.
The draft needs to get here last week.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

How do they fuck?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Contextually.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Forsberg beating the Avs is some fucked up irony.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

You don’t know, if you don’t ask.
Just saying….

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’m watching new Simpsons to kill time before picking my wife up at the airport.

Comic Book Guy apparently has a wife or a girlfriend or something now?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Have some alkyhol and Call Uber.

/realizes why single
//realizes why all women hate me

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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JustStopDude
JustStopDude

Oh god is there anything funnier than the Crypto-currency market place?

There was this company caused Savedroid. They claimed they would build a smart, A.I managed application which would automatically invest user funds into profitable ICO portfolios. There were also claims of a cryptocurrency credit card.

This company raised like $50 million USD in Europe as an ICO. The founder of Savedroid ICO Tweeted ‘Over and out’, with a picture of himself at the airport and then chilling on a beach.

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Their website, I shit you not, currently has the South Park image as its only content now…

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These scams are so fucking low tech. Its amazing.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

To the moon! Wait, no, I mean to the beach!

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

https://ico.savedroid.com/

This is legit supposed to be the website for the company.

The subreddit is equally hilarious…

https://www.reddit.com/r/savedroid_ico/

nomonkeyfun

My favorite crypto currency fools are the apocalyptic libertarians.
“Hey dude, you gotta use this internet currency. When world governments melt down and your paper money isn’t worth anything, your bitcoins will still be there so you can buy shit.”

Dumbass, if things get so bad that no paper currency is worth anything, there won’t be any electricity to go online.

Their other line. “Your money only has value because the government says so, and you sheep believe it.”

Yeah, I’m going to put my full faith and credit on one guy being able to code well enough that no one can get into the system and flood the market. Or if we’re going full action movie, that someone won’t kidnap him and force him to flood the market.
Much less likely than the US government being run by a moron who would believe that printing 10 gaxillion dollars will let us build a wall for free…

Hey wait up crypto dude.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I saw a “Bitcoin ATM” at a gas station at the Newark airport today.

This is definitely the darkest timeline.

rockingdog
rockingdog

last funny:
“Hey!”

*thousands of people turn around*

Guy who invented names: I HAVE to fix this.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

1960 Impala
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rockingdog
rockingdog

hahahaha found a funny:

why do you fill me up
(fill me up)
captain crunch baby
just to let me down
(let me down)
and turn my milk brown
and the worst of all
(worst of all)
the oops it’s all berries
was a major spill
(major spill)
but my favorite still

BrettFavresColonoscopy

There are two LA hockey teams?

ballsofsteelandfury

No, they will always be The Mighty Ducks of Anaheim no matter what.

litre_cola

The Flying V.

Gratliff

Fucking welp

Gratliff

Would like to once again congratulate the Philadelphia Eagles, the only professional sports team in Philadelphia.

Senor Weaselo

Gabe Kapler took Nick Foles out for throwing 25 passes.

ballsofsteelandfury

The Cup must go to Winnipeg

WCS

You spelled “Clarence Campbell Bowl” wrong.

litre_cola

YOU ARE GOD DAMNED RIGHT BALLSY!

scotchnaut

You know what I like? Passing out

/goombye

Gratliff

Sweet baby jesus fuck, it’s worse than I thought

theeWeeBabySeamus

– Some guy named Joe, 0 AD

theeWeeBabySeamus

What? No Cindy…?
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…or Terri?
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Feeling a little cheated over here.

Oh right, it’s the P*ts. Never mind.

Gratliff

Sean Couturier is hurt, so RIP 2017-18 Philadelphia Flyers.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Time to watch the golf channel for a bit.

Gratliff

They’ll have Flyers-Caps starting next week

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hehehehe….right?