I can’t believe I’m doing this.
I am not a huge Star Wars fan. As a kid (keyphrase there “As a kid”), I did see and enjoy the first three installments. Or was that the middle three installments?
And WTF was that about anyway? Start with number four? Oh and then go back years later and cut out the original guy who played Anakin (and his ghost) and put this pinhead in his place?
Just because you waited like 20 years to get around to making the rest of the movies???
Wow, it’s almost as if they were separated at birth…
I have not seen another Star Wars movie since. Well, aside from bits and pieces of the middle three installments back in the early 2000’s when they ended up on TV and I didn’t change the channel fast enough. Or was that the first three installments? Shit, this is confusing. No wonder you Star Wars nerds are so easy to make fun of. You can’t even start counting at 1.
Tell ’em, Triumph!!!!!
But, it is Star Wars Day….apparently. For some reason. And all which that implies.
And admittedly, I did previously promise to do some Sexy Cosplay themes from time to time. Seems like it would be stupid to pass this one up I suppose.
But still….Fuck Star Wars.
–
I Fell Out Of A Tree This Morning
That’s not a joke. It’s not meant to be funny. I really did fall out of a tree this morning. It wasn’t from very high up, but it was high enough that the shoulder I landed on hurts moderately badly. So I won’t be sitting here and doing a lot of typing today.
What was I doing in the tree to begin with? NONE OF YOUR DAMNED BUSINESS….THAT’S WHAT!!!!!
(in truth I was fixing and re-hanging a bird house)
((damned birds are gonna be the death of me))
But, enough talk. Time for some sexy.
And also some Advil and Vodka!!!!
Enjoy….
I hear ya, Noob Noob. Something something I’d like to explore HER dark side something something.
*Ahem*
OK, that’s all I got. Go watch Star Wars or something. I’m sure they’re on somewhere.
Love ya’s.
–
About to drink a beer brewed in Williamsburg, (Old Stitch, if you care), from 18th century recipes.
So I should be dead of rabies or advocating for slavery by the end of this pint.
Jones still hasn’t found that shot.
Hyped up Mormons on a Friday night. NUTS!
Sliding into first for the out.
You deserve it, you fucking dummy
How come all the black guys in the nhl have to be named either Brown, Black, or Subban? Das raycis.
Exhibit 1: Montreal Canadiens fans:
Why was Jason Bateman at a Habs game?
http://78.media.tumblr.com/ed7119d720c13ee5ce5f9140600e56da/tumblr_mutv9xpLKn1s0teago4_400.gif
Warriors start losing and here come the cheap shots from the warrior players. they’re just like the Steelers. “we’re going to lose, let’s hurt someone on the other team” or “its only ok when we showoff in a blowout win”.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rCB8DUGpYQQ
What I expect from every social interaction in Japan:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_krT7Bl3PiY
The Yankee bullpen had clearly been huffing paint for the first six innings of this game.
I’d ask her to “pay extra attention to my details” but she’s a stormtrooper and would probably miss.
the Warriors are beatable when called for fouls they commit.
The next time Brad Marchand licks a guy’s face I want that guy to kick Marchand in the face.
Without taking his skates off first.
In the meantime I say we start the rumour that he, and by association everyone is Boston, is gay. That will probably make them madder.
Mark Wahlberg just started doing push-ups furiously
Folks
Hey there!
Must be from France.
Greatest Pete & Pete episode ever
This young lady has a lot of good ones, fwiw.
I could have done the entire post with just her.
It’s a trap!?!
https://static1.squarespace.com/static/51b3dc8ee4b051b96ceb10de/t/55394da6e4b0c9771b51fcf5/1429818791686/?format=500w
Great tuck job
That is one specific kink.
Sitting around in my underwear, drinking beer, to own the libs.
Is that you on Live PD?
Can’t be. I put tape over the computer camera.
Michael Kay now railing against the Yankee bullpen structure. They are 21-10 and 12-1 in the last 13 games.
I can’t stand Michael Kay.
If I was going to get caught in a school shooting but I was able to pick who the shooter would be I would pick Rajon Rondo.
The ol’ cutting fastball cutting to the middle of the plate. Works every time.
For the batter.
[appears]
– Ray Lewis
Edibles are the best when inlaws and my mother are in town. Bro in law and i are quite stoned and they think it is the booze. It ia not.
Michael Kay “Just missed outside.”
Overhead camera (ball is outside by a foot)
Ok, I have a 102 degree fever, so I’m going to close my eyes and pretend everything’s ok. Night, all.
Feel better
nite nite dude
Nice, 69X2 -UNC grad
That conference call was worse than we imagined.
Michael Jordan wouldn’t go to sleep. He’s stay awake and cheat on his wife and get into some horrible gambling debt situation.
Hey. You can only get your dad killed once.
Can’t blame Johnson for going after the johnson, c’mon!
Evening, fellow Chuds.
Hi!
I see someone didn’t get the memo…
She needs to eat. A lot.
I’ve got something for her to eat, if you know what I mean.
/Prepares blueberry pancakes, eggs sunny-side up and some bacon
Excerpt from my FCC complaint re Marchand: I expect this kind of lewd behavior from the president, but hockey players?
Made it to downtown Minneapolis.
This is the Midwest.
It’s no Wichita, to be sure…
The Walgreens closed at 8p I see.
They stay open late in the big city!
Rocket ‘er.
Does anyone here eat at Sonic? Is it any good?
Their shakes and slushes are good, everything else is deep-fried rat poop.
“Tell me more…”
-My dog
Burgers are actually enjoyable. Service is usually fine. Cherry limeades rule.
Concur on the Cherry Limeade. The chili cheese tots are usually good, too.
When they had them, their sweet potater tots were the tits.
Someday when the dust settles they should rebrand Instagram as a cocaine delivery service.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/amphtml/news/fact-checker/wp/2018/05/04/the-kooky-tale-of-cocaine-mitch/
I assume “Cocaine Mitch” is as much of a misnomer as “Heroin Bob” and I hope McConnell’s story ends the same way.
Shit, they’re onto me.
Thinking…have I ever gotten laid thanks to facebook? I honestly don’t think so.
“What about Sandy from March 23, 2011?”
-Facebook data retention team
Pelicans are up by 9 and I’m still wondering whether or not there is a snowball’s chance in hell for them to win this game.
Pulled over by a cop today. My first words:
“IS THIS BECAUSE I’M WHITE?!”
Today I learned the cops don’t have a good sense of humor but the local PD has a surprising gentle cavity search.
bahahahaha thats a good one
The funny part is that you’re actually black but your face was so completely covered in cocaine that you looked white.
Pro tip: Telling the cop they’re parked at a hydrant doesn’t do you favors either
I like that Kevin Durant has made a heel turn on the court but I hope it hasn’t bled into his personal life.
I have been on a conference call for one hour 47 minutes. On Friday. This should be a firing and stoning offense.
Did someone say “Jehovah”?
We heard you the first time.
Oh, no, not you, BFC. I was talking about the middle manager on line 3 who was talking about the synergistic effect of upchain vertical integration.
Erroneous double post.
Doesn’t your phone have that weird thing where it disconnects from all conference calls after 45 minutes?
Lady BFC has been trying to be that function
I’m so glad Rondo isn’t a Celtic anymore so I can hate him as much as he deserves.
I’m sure much of Boston feels the same…
Do you think the referrees snicker every time they are calling a Warriors game and have to call a “kicked ball”?
I hope the New Orleans team changes their mascot every five years or so. Next cycle they can be the Crawdads.
How many cycles before they’re the Swamp Things?
When the movie or TV series, whatever’s in the works, is released.
Does Marchand ever fight?
He’s a licker not a fighter
Do illegal skew foots count?
found a funny:
anyone remember this great Star Wars scene?
I thought this was from the director’s cut of Corvette Summer.
Fucking prude. This is why Reagan won in 1980.
I finally watched Defenders. Why is the Iron Fist played by some pathetic homeless man’s version of Chris Pratt?
Because Jeph Loeb, the head of marvel tv, is an idiot and a hack. You cannot fuck up The Punisher because his fans are already animals that just need a bunch of pew pew sounds. Anything requiring nuance or wit is beyond him and the rest of them. They are the shitty C or D team. Loeb is the Rudy of Marvel.
Defenders is decent, but the highlight is the 90 seconds or so of Danny trying to hip hop kung fu Luke Cage and getting fucking worked for it. That being said, it pales in comparison to Luke Cage, and isn’t even in the same discussion as The Punisher.
found a funny:
Sometimes, when my husband has a day off, I like to bring the TV remote with me to work.
“DFO turned into a nerd porn site so slowly that I’ve got a Lara Croft blow-up doll available for the low, low price of $69.99.”
-Big Vinnie
$69.69 was sitting right there for the double Nice…
https://gfycat.com/@unsurprised/hot/
FRIYAY!
[kneels down and prays]
“I hope that she learns that this attention-getting behavior is narcissistic in the extreme.”
-Tim Tebow
Clever-ass tweets. https://twitter.com/AlexRigsTheGame/status/992489111742222336