2018 World Cup Wednesday Open Thread

Into the next set of games! We have now seen everyone at least once and so conclusions can be drawn:

  • Nobody knows anything.
  • Sí se pudo.
  • No one team looks unbeatable.

This, to me, makes this a very exciting tournament.  Wakezilla compared it to 2002 and that’s a great point.  That tourney had crazy upsets in the group stage. However, logic and tradition took over and we ended up with Brazil as the winner.

I myself am hoping that we get something like 2010 where a nation that had never won before (Spain) emerges as the winner by playing inspired and beautiful football.  We shall see…

5 AM Pacific

Portugal v Morocco

Balls: Today’s games SHOULD be fairly simple to predict.  In each one,  you have an established “big” team playing a team considered a “minnow”

As this tournament has shown us,  however, there are no pushovers and upsets have and will most likely continue to happen. Is this one of those games?

Prédiction: Probablement no.  Le Portugal 2, Maroc 0

Litre_Cola:  I see this actually being tighter than most do because of the rivalry between the two countries which will jack Morocco up and they might be able to catch the Portuguese napping. That being said I always root against Ronaldo. He could be playing on a team of invalids for charity and I would scream at the television calling for his blood. If this game is tied in the second half I fully expect him to do something spectacular to snatch the win. Kill Pepe forever.

Prédiction: Portugal 2-1 and getting one after the 60th minute.

That Ronaldo is so hot right now

Wakezilla: Last week, I said that Portugal better get a win or at least a draw because Morocco—who was likely going to beat Iran– is talented enough to shock the world and upset them. Portugal got a win and Morocco, despite being clearly better, couldn’t capitalize on their chances and scored an own goal, resulting in a loss.

I still think Morocco plays a style of lesser footy that will cause Portugal trouble. They’re relentless on the attack and one would imagine their strikers are itching to get another chance on some of those opportunities they blew last week. They’re only problem is, they may have to open the game up more than they’re comfortable with because they need a win.

Last game, Ronaldo willed his team to a draw, thanks to his hatrick. Oddly enough, going into that game, he had only scored 3 career World Cup goals. In other words, he was averaging one goal per World Cup, which is pretty bad. Now that he is getting hot and playing a team desperate for a win, CR7 must be having liquid dreams about all the opportunities he should have on the counter-attack tomorrow. He could have a YUUUUUUGE game.

Prédiction: This game is going to be really close and going to make Portugal squirm. In the end, I think Ronaldo is once again going to carry his team to a 2-1 win.

Ron Howard voice over: Portugal won 7-0

8 AM  Pacific

Uruguay v Saudi Arabia

Balls: Ok, do I think this game could possibly result in an upset? Not very likely.  If Uruguay doesn’t put 5 on the Saudis, it will be forced into a must-win situation in the last game against Russia to win the group.

It may not matter as the teams coming out of the group play either Portugal or Spain and the third group B games will be played AFTER the third group A games.

So,  it doesn’t really matter.

Predicción: They won’t put five past them. I’m thinking a relatively boring 2-0 win.

Litre_Cola: This game is going to be a murder. Enough dicking around Uruguay let’s get serious and put away these fools. Their plane caught on fire on their way here. They got their money from Putin for getting manhandled in their first match, time to just shut er down. I cannot foresee this being a contest. DO THINGS SUAREZ!

Predicción: 3-0 Uruguay. A sound beating. They are going to start to roll.

Wakezilla: Saudi Arabia isn’t as bad as the performance they gave last week. Perhaps it was nerves, or maybe they fell victim to the Russian nightlife. Whatever it was, I doubt they will get trucked by Uruguay. Did you see how Mohammad bin Salman looked at the end of the game? Me thinks he’s going to have a visit to the Saudi locker room before the match for a little inspirational fear.

As I said last week, Uruguay was going to get caught off guard and narrowly survive a scare from Egypt. Now that they got a friendly reminder that any team can beat them on any given night, they’re going to get to work and play like a cup contender.

Predicción: Uruguay is going to flex their lesser footy muscle and defeat the Saudis 3-0. The Saudis will put forth a respectable effort, but will ultimately lose because they are simply not good enough.

11 AM

Iran v Spain

Balls: Iran won’t pull the upset here either.  This will be the rare day where the expected results will happen.

Ron Howard voice: They didn’t.

Predicción: España 3, Irán 0.

Litre_Cola:  Spain was better than Portugal in that bananacakes 1st round game. They should come out and overwhelm the Iranians. I for one love Persian food. If you find a good Persian takeout in your city go through their menu, it is fucking superb from top to bottom. They can fall back on that when they get their asses handed to them today.

Predicción: España 4, Irán 0.

Wakezilla: First place Iran is going to face a pissed off Spanish team that should have won last week. Iran won their first World Cup game in 20 years, so everything that happens next is gravy. One would think that Spain would easily defeat Iran, but at this World Cup and with how good Iran is defensively, we’re going to get another close game.

Predicción: Iran will be more than content to park the bus and play for the draw. For the most part, this will likely work and we’ll have a scoreless first half. However, I see a sub for Spain coming on and scoring the one and only goal, giving Spain a 1-0 victory. . . Assuming De Gea doesn’t give up another softy.

ballsofsteelandfury

ballsofsteelandfury

International Member of the Geelong Cats and recovering Steelers fan. Likes Butts. And Balls. And Boobs. Pretty much anything that starts with the letter B. Preferably together.
ballsofsteelandfury

Latest posts by ballsofsteelandfury (see all)

Please Login to comment
70 Comment threads
134 Thread replies
0 Followers
 
Most reacted comment
Hottest comment thread
19 Comment authors
SharkbaitMoose -The End Is Well NighSonOfSpamtheeWeeBabySeamuslitre_cola Recent comment authors
  Subscribe  
Notify of
rockingdog
rockingdog

I leave to go run errands and its still… 0-0?
geezeee

Wakezilla

It’s all going according to my predictions. Muah ha ha.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

comment image

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Sometimes he goes too far.”

– Dwayne Bowe’s agent, attempting to explain why his client was so rarely targeted by Alex Smith

Sharkbait
Sharkbait

Bad acting is bad.

nomonkeyfun

The Academy doesn’t agree.

comment image

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Yeah but the Academy doesn’t object to anally raping hotel workers, either.

SonOfSpam

Who’s the snowflake cuck that does?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

As a measure of my interest level in this game, I’ve been watching for almost thirty minutes and I still have no idea which team is in white and which team is in red.

Wakezilla

Rule of thumb for this game: if you see 7-9 Defenders chasing after the ball, it’s Iran. If you see a team with possession for long stretches, it’s Spain.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Soooo, what’s the correct response when one’s mother accidentally kills the weedling which was not only doing the best, but had been moved outside into the actual ground way earlier than I thought possible, and was still thriving?

She knew it was there (and knew what it was, Mom is cool that way) yet she forgot I guess due to….old…and just dumped the soil from one of her flower pots right on it and broke the main stem off from the root system due to forgetting/carelessness. No way that little bastard will recover. I guess I’ll be replanting again soon.

Me (as she’s about to dump the flower pot): Mom…wait!!! Stop!!!!
Mom (dumping the flower pot anyway): What? Oh. Damn, now I feel bad.
Me (fighting back tears): It’s ok Mom. I’ve got more seeds.

(grumble, grumble)

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Did Magary’s wife really leave him or was that just part of the bit?
https://deadspin.com/russia-is-the-highest-scoring-team-in-the-world-cup-in-1826989296

Sharkbait
Sharkbait

I’m guessing the bit based on the line earlier about personal relationships in trouble for investigating Russia…

SonOfSpam

Whenever I hear that “Pique’s in the box” I feel a little jealous.

comment image

Wakezilla

Hard to believe he cheated on her and she took him back

SonOfSpam

To be fair, she’s probably only the 6th hottest woman he’s banged this month.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

nomonkeyfun

It’s not Jeremy Clarkson, it’s his American cousin.

comment image

Sharkbait
Sharkbait

That guy definitely supports Trump’s tariffs, despite not knowing what the word “tariff” means.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Be clam and carry on.

litre_cola

Checks scores. It is a tWBs festival today!

theeWeeBabySeamus

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

SonOfSpam

Something’s fishy about them.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Sharkbait
Sharkbait

Missed the game. Did Suarez bite anyone?

SonOfSpam

Sadly, yes. During the coin toss at midfield, he accidentally bit a kid in the upper deck.

theeWeeBabySeamus

That kid was asking for it.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

SonOfSpam

Betrayed his owner for 30 pieces of tuna.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Don T

3 points, 0 cards, clinched second round. Mood: mostly whelmed.
Obligatory:
https://youtu.be/GO3K9SIg-dg

SonOfSpam

I don’t speak Spanish, but I think they’re singing about how to cross our borders and infest our nation.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

SonOfSpam

This looks like a particularly egregious case of cultural appropriation. I’m gonna watch this with my pants off just to make sure.

SonOfSpam

Whew…just turned off the TV in time. Almost heard between-game Fox blather.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

SonOfSpam

Hadn’t seen this completely accurate thing before.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

SonOfSpam

He needs to be punched multiple times by me or anyone else.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That would the most fun I’ve had in years.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’d recommend having someone stronger than me do it.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Sure hope I didn’t miss anything important happening in the game while I was searching for this…

theeWeeBabySeamus

That young lady is mildly attractive.

SonOfSpam

Roy Moore’s wedding song.

LemonJello
LemonJello

I’d have thought he would have demanded White Wedding?

theeWeeBabySeamus

He’s a fan of Gary Puckett I bet.

nomonkeyfun

This young lady is too old for him.

nomonkeyfun

“17, I didn’t ask for a MILF.”
Also Roy Moore

scotchnaut

Looks as though the Saudi Arabian team has bin laden with inferior talent.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Soooo you’re saying….
comment image

LemonJello
LemonJello

“Nailed it!”
-B. Walsh, pilot in command

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

So I realized down below I used an image of Jessica Biel to demonstrate a “sexy back” and now I realize that I should have used a gif of the girl crawling in the “Cradle of Love” video. Please accept my sincere regrets.

nomonkeyfun

If you show your work, we will forgive you this time.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Damn you for being faster than me.

nomonkeyfun

But rectify (hehe) is better.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Rectum? Hell it almost killed him!!!!
(sorry…that was obligatory)
((says my brain))

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Can’t find it.

LemonJello
LemonJello

-RTD, while frantically searching between the seats for the condom, Senior Prom Night

theeWeeBabySeamus

It’s not too late to rectify that mistake.
We’ll wait….

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

scotchnaut

We were so young back then…we didn’t know what we were doing.

scotchnaut

This tilt lacks…charisma.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

OK, now it has some Charisma.

scotchnaut

She should see a doctor about that star. That can’t be good.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

SHE’S A GODDAMNED SHERIFF!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Different from Flint, MI.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

I see France…..

theeWeeBabySeamus

comment image

Fronkenshteen

What the hell happened during qualifying that Italy didn’t make this thing?

rockingdog
rockingdog

also no Netherlands… weird….

nomonkeyfun

They found out they wouldn’t be able to live with their Mothers if they went to the World Cup.

Don T

Nagging bt Snapchat ain’t the same.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

THAT is a beautiful stereotype which I need to use more often.

Don T

Lulled to sleep by the Swedes in a playoff.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Fronkenshteen

I wonder if the Muslim players refer to that as a hamstring.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

OK; that is fucking banner worthy!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

rockingdog
rockingdog

ut oh…saudi player got injured and had to leave the pitch….

rockingdog
rockingdog

found an afternoon funny:

I go to seductively boop your nose but my finger pierces straight through the back of your skull.

“Sorry, I’ve been working out.” I say.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“All right, defender. I’m just going to do this. [munching sound] And if you get bitten, it’s your own fault.” – Luis Suarez

comment image

theeWeeBabySeamus

I haven’t seen the Saudi goalkeeper go airborne and then land in the wrong place like that since…well, I guess two days ago when their plane blew up.

theeWeeBabySeamus

So is Uruguay really any good? Because so far both these teams look like stank.

Don T

Lying in the couch for anthems is a reasonable accommodation for sloth.

LemonJello
LemonJello

comment image

Don T

Uruguay is getting the Red Carpet so far:

-Egypt, Salah injured
-Saudis, plane troubles
-Russia, already qualified

That should look like a sparring lineup for the knockouts. Uruguay is so organized, for this World Cup they brought tasters specializing in Polonium.

Sharkbait
Sharkbait

Good, Suarez needs his teeth fresh for the knockout stage

litre_cola

There is a Chilean team named O’Higgins. The official club of Magnum PI.

Sharkbait
Sharkbait

They better be nicknamed “The Mustaches”

Sharkbait
Sharkbait

Anyone want to take my place in my back to back meetings at 11 and 12?

Don T

Are there snacks? Arsenic?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hell man, snacks? He’s got beer at work!!!

Sharkbait
Sharkbait

We ARE hiring. Just saying…

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Depends. How sexy are the backs where you work? This sexy?

comment image

Sharkbait
Sharkbait

Sadly no. There are some contenders, but not quite that caliber.

yeah right

Meetings are the biggest killer of productivity and morale in the workplace.

If I need to address the team I call them together right as I get to work and we discuss it during the 5 minutes it takes me to make my coffee.

Open forum now get the fuck to work.

Sharkbait
Sharkbait

Football line brawl?

rockingdog
rockingdog

still 1-0 after 84min? geezzzeeezzz

Don T

The perfect score!
/vodka bottle breaks
//gets stabbed with

Don T

It’s time for Morocco’s coach to take out the “I chose to lead you because I believe in you. That’s why I brought my handsome hotness here” speech.

Don T

Hm. Pepe with hair looks more punchable.

nomonkeyfun

I don’t know. I think a frog with hair looks awesome.

comment image?format=1500w

Sharkbait
Sharkbait

Morocco vs. Ronaldo is turning out to be more entertaining than I thought it would be.

rockingdog
rockingdog

found a funny:

It’s only called cum when it’s inside of the body, when it’s outside of the body it’s called almond milk

clint greasewood
clint greasewood

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

‘The smile was gone once the 18 year commitment was put on paper.”

-Maury Povich

litre_cola

Fuck Pepe.

rockingdog
rockingdog

comment image