OK, I didn’t mean to put a damper on the evening with my shit. I’m not gonna murder any dogs.
I promise I’ll kill the human before the dog.
Lighten up, assholes.
(oh shit I still gotta finish sexy friday dammit)
((meh, fuck it))
LET’S PARTY!!!!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QtTj4cramPM

So, I had a bit of a conflict (again) with my next door neighbor tonight….

This has been ongoing for a while. We tried to be a good neighbors to this gal when she moved in. Sincerely. Unfortunately, she has a dog which is territorial and potentially aggressive. After she moved in next door, she also had decided that it was perfectly acceptable to let her friends come over with their dogs and let them run loose, without concern about any trouble they might be causing.

I’ve witnessed her dog taking a territorial/aggressive stance on my property multiple times. Sometimes towards me, sometimes towards others. Sometimes those others were my grand nieces/nephews who are less than half the size of this dog. Sorry, but no….that’s not ok.

So a while ago, I tried my best to talk to this person and let her know that this was a potential problem. She always ignored it or made excuses. Eventually, she put up a fence because she couldn’t be bothered to be a responsible pet owner and she knew she was about to lose all her shit if that dog turned on someone. She knew it because I told her so when she wouldn’t listen to other attempts at reason.

Sooooooo…..

Tonight, I went down to try to do some repairs on the dock. I didn’t know the dog was anywhere nearby or I’d have waited (more on this later). But I look up while doing these repairs and her dog has come around the fence and is growling at me. ON MY FUCKING DOCK!!!!

So I stand up and begin walking toward the dog. Dogs don’t scare me, I’ve been bitten plenty of times. Dog might bite me a time or two, but I’ll win the war. Trust me.

As I’m backing this dog down, back around the fence, to her own side, I look up and see the owner look at me. She knows its happening, but doesn’t bother to call the dog back. So I run the dog back around the fence to her own side.

But fuck if I’m done, goddammit.

I go and try one last time to tell this clueless bitch, and honestly I was being nice at first, that she needs to get a handle on this dog or it’s gonna cost her.

She accuses me of threatening her and the dog.

Me: I’m trying to help you. If I was threatening you, that dog would be dead already.

Her: Well, you’re just not a dog person. You need to stop antagonizing my dog.

Me: Are you serious? I avoid coming outside more often than not when I see your dog so this situation doesn’t blow up. But I’m the one being antagonizing? REALLY????? You’re rationalizing to absolve yourself of responsibility.

Her: Well I didn’t know she was even down there.

Me: You do realize that I saw you look down here before, right? AND you just told me you thought I was antagonizing your dog, so I know you saw it. So, you just lied to me to justify yourself to your own mind.

Her: Well your mother called and harassed me last year so I put up the fence. I’m doing the best I can.

Me: My mother called you last year to let you know your dog was becoming a problem, to let you know, and to try to find a solution. I heard the conversation. Don’t even try that. And we weren’t necessarily trying to get you to put up a fence, just to let you know your dog was become a potential problem.

Her: Well, your mother is a bitch.

Me: OK….You need to shut the fuck up and go in now. Call my mother a bitch once more, and a potentially aggressive dog will be the least of your fucking problems.

Her: Oh, so you’re threatening me again?

Me: Not again, no. I haven’t threatened you at all yet. But also yes, call my mother a bitch again and you won’t live to see tomorrow. Shall I call the sheriff or would you like to? I suggest you shut your cunty piehole and go inside and don’t ever say shit about my mother again.

Her: Well, you’re just not dog people. This is over.

Me: For your sake, it better be over you fucking cunt. Your dog comes around that fence one more time and takes an aggressive stance, ESPECIALLY WITH MY LITTLE GRAND NIECES/NEPHEWS, and you might be cleaning up a dead dog off your lawn. You wanna take that as a threat? Well you probably should. And by the way, telling someone who’s been a veterinarian for 26 years that they aren’t a dog person? You sounded pretty fucking stupid just now. I’ve owned, raised, loved, treated….and unfortunately euthanized…more dogs than you’ll ever seen in your miserable life. Many of those I’ve euthanized were due to their owners being irresponsible like you. Which is why I know what I’m talking about here. I truly hope your dog outgrows this territorial phase, and she might, admittedly. But it’s obvious you’re not gonna take your responsibility seriously so she’s gonna have to do it on her own. I’m not NOT a dog person…I’m not an irresponsible pet owner person. And that’s what you’ve repeatedly proven yourself to be.

Her: Well, I still think you’re not a dog person.

Me: Of course you do. That’s what you have to think. People like you have to find anything they can to absolve themselves. Good luck with that.

tl ; dr: My neighbor is a cunt, and it’s not her dog’s fault. But still.