Latest posts by King Hippo (see all)
- Raging Lesser Semi #2 Open Thread (Croatia v. England) – July 11, 2018
- Raging Lesser Semi #1 Open Thread (Belgium v. France) – July 10, 2018
- Completing the Lesser Final Four – Sabado Open Thread – July 7, 2018
Yes, we got our dream Waffles/Les Frogs matchup. And the peoples rejoiced. Now, it is time for the back-alley abortion side of the bracket. Join us, won’t you? It still beats goddamned baseball.
England (-115) v. Sweden (+385; draw +220) (10:00 EST, Fox)
Merry ole England has Evertonian Keeper Jordan Pickford to thank for its continued life in the tournament. It glosses over how flaccid the Cuck Liouns’ attack was against a slow-footed Coca Bros. defense. Sweden…will be a stout test, especially if they are resting on their laurels and expecting to coast into the final and meet their destiny against the rival French. Spoiler alert: They will be.
Wild Ass Guess: Everyone’s favourite angry touchline Grandpa and his Swedes advance, 1-nil (normal time)
Litre_Cola : First of all I would like to thank Hippo for the spelling of favoUrite. I will not be lining up at 6 am for the 8 am kickoff for this. When you read this I will be very hungover with a toddler most likely screaming at me. Anywhooo why are the English playing Alli when they should be playing Loftus-Cheek? This is thus far the only error that I can say Southgate has made. Apart from being English that is. Do I think that England will advance past this?
Prediction: England 1- 1 Sweden, England advances on penalties because of course they do.
Balls: I’m looking at those odds and I’m thinking that if I still had my online sportsbook account, I’d put a tenner on Sweden to win in regular time.
I’ve been listening to Sirius XM FC a lot as I’ve been driving for work a lot recently and the overwhelming sensation I get from the mostly English hosts is cautious optimism in the Charlie Brown-Lucy sense. Maybe this time she won’t pull the football away?
I don’t like either team. That’s not fair actually. I do like the English players and I like how Southgate has made the team likable. It’s the “It’s Coming Home” bit that bothers me. Yes, you invented the game a hundred years ago.
That, however, doesn’t entitle you to shit and if you were to somehow win this tourney, it wouldn’t mean you play the best football.
Prediction: I don’t have to worry as it won’t happen. Sweden 2 England 1.
Wakezilla: Sweden, the 2017-2018 giant killers, continue to get overlooked by everyone in the lesser footy world. It’s hard to believe England is the favorite when Sweden has defeated Portugal, France, Italy,Mexico, Switzerland and other tough teams since 2016. In terms of watchability, they are boring as shit and completely bad for the game. However, they are incredibly difficult to beat.
As for England, I will be cheering for them as they play an entertaining style of lesser footy. Admittedly, their media and their right wing fans are really, really making it hard for me to support them this game. I’ve already said my piece during the round table about the hypocrisy of these right wing scumbags, so I’ll just skip this part.
The stars seem to be aligning for the Limies to reach the Finals. (More on this in the second preview) They beat a tough Colombian side on penalty kicks. Psychologically, that PK win was huge for their confidence. As long as England plays their style of game and not play down to Sweden’s diarrhea gameplan, they should emerge victorious. Or at the very least, Kane will likely be rewarded with another penalty kick.
Prediction: The lesser footy gods will reward England for being the more aggressive side. As a result, England will beat Sweden 1-0, on a Harry Kane penalty kick late in the first half. Fuck Sweden’s bullshit style of play.
Croatia (+115) v. Russia (+295; draw +200) (14:00 EST, Fox)
It’s been a fun ride for the hosts, but the Murder Checkerboards won’t be having any of it. His name is Luka, he lives on the second floor, and he will pick the lock all day long and then some. Putin will claim this match violates Rooskie anti-sodomy laws.
Wild Ass Guess: 4-nil to the good (which really is the former Yugoslavia for once)
Litre_Cola: Russia has loaded up on PED’s so I think I will leave this one to the cat.
Proricanje: Croatia 2- Russia 0, problem is that the Croats take too many yellows and many lads will be absent for the English semifinal. Of course they will be. England has had the cakeiest of fucking cakewalks this tourney and it will continue.
Balls: I will be proudly wearing my Murder Checkerboard jersey at the dentist’s office as this game kicks off. I hope that’s a good omen for the Croatians.
It’s just a teeth cleaning, so there should not be any pain. Which is what I expect this game to be for Croatia. On paper, this is a game they should win. The last time I wrote the words “on paper”, though, we got a nice upset.
In Thursday’s roundtable discussion, I went out on a limb and said that Russia would make the World Cup final. If they get past Croatia, I will wire Hippo $100 to bet on that outcome.
Prediction: Croatia 2 Russia 2. It goes to penalties and Russia advances. Yes, I said it.
Wakezilla: I’m not sure what to think anymore. Overnight, Russia went from being a lesser footy backwater over the past decade, to being 3 wins away from being World Cup champs. Huh?
The key matchup for Russia is if Dzyuba can overcome Croatian defender, Lovren. If he can win that battle, Russia has a shot at winning this game. However, they have managed just two shots over the past two games, which isn’t going to cut it against this Croatian side.
Croatia narrowly escaped defeat against Denmark. It’s not too concerning as they controlled a lot of the play and they had to overcome a wall, also known as Kasper Schmeichal. If Russia didn’t have home field advantage and World Cup host friendly refs, I’d say Croatia would easily defeat Russia. This is not the case, so it’s going to be a super close game.
Russia has been a good story, but it’s time for them to go away. Croatia will beat Russia 1-0 in a very close game. Modric will score on a free kick in the second half. One huge reason why this game will be close is because Croatia might avoid being physical, thus veering from their game.
The big concern for Croatia is yellow cards. They’re playing the host, which means they’ll likely receive yellow cards. This is bad because Sime Vrsaljko, Marcelo Brozovic, Vedran Corluka, Ivan Rakitic, Ante Rebic, Mario Mandzukic, Tin Jedvaj and Marko Pjaca all have yellow cards, meaning they would miss the semis if they were to receive a card today. Hopefully they escape card free, but if they don’t, Croatia will be ripe for the pickings by (hopefully) England.