Heart – noun  \ ˈhärt \: a hollow muscular organ of vertebrate animals that by its rhythmic contraction acts as a force pump maintaining the circulation of the blood

And – conjunction \ ən(d)\: used as a function word to indicate connection or addition especially of items within the same class or type —used to join sentence elements of the same grammatical rank or function

Hustle – verb \ hus·tle\: to crowd or push roughly

Like all true elements of grit, these definitions don’t achieve much on their own. But put them together, and you arrive at MLB’s most celebrated midseason honor: The Heart and Hustle Award. I don’t have to tell you what the accolade means in itself…which is a good thing, because I’m fairly certain that it means something different to every team. Let’s break down this year’s winners and see if we can come to something of a greater understanding about the honor.

Baltimore Orioles: Adam Jones

(Walk up music: Walk It Talk It, by Migos)

Right off the bat I see a major flaw with one team’s methodology. Not merely because he is having a down year by all statistical measures with a 0.3 bWAR or a 0.1 fWAR, or an OPS+ of a cool 100. No, when I think of Heart and Hustle, I think of a player making his teammates better through sheer force of will. Take Manny Machado. He was putting up ungodly numbers this year, but that wasn’t enough. Eventually he looked around the clubhouse and saw that his teammates were the Baltimore Orioles, so he improved them by making them the Los Angeles Dodgers. Or Zach Britton, who is in the process of making his team the Yankees. Those are much better teammates. Who are Adam Jones’ teammates? Still just Orioles. Not so good, Adam.

Boston Red Sox: Mookie Betts

(Walk up music: I Love My City, by Ernest K.)

I think this is a no brainer. And believe me, the fans will tell you just as much, though not in such a braggadocios way. I myself am not a Red Sox fan, but I have always been curious about Fenway, and finally made the road trip (The ballpark is delightful. There I said it.), and if you go, all you’ll ever hear from the local ones is that Mookie is “One of the good ones.” Well that’s an understatement, if you ask me. The guy’s got a WAR over 6, and a wRC+ of 194 through the month of July. “He knows his place.” He sure does. Right Field. And he’s one of the best there, so it’s hard to argue with that. Another told me “He’s not so…urban, if you catch my drift.” Now there is where I get a little confused. Mookie grew up in Nashville, which while not quite as bustling as New York or Chicago still has a thriving downtown scene. But some people love their city, so I guess Boston fans might be a little biased against Tennessee. Hey, we’ve all got our prejudices, am I right?

Chicago White Sox: Yolmer Sanchez

(Walk up music: Tito Swing, by Hablan De Todos)

Now this is a gritty player. A guy with a .706 OPS who plays 2^nd and 3^rd base. This man has no preference. Cris Collinsworth routinely calls him “A baseball player.”  Put him in the game, coach. After coming tantalizing close to a neutral OPS+ last year at 98, he’s back on the warpath, clocking in with a 96 this year. Can he buck the trend? Will he raise his career OPS+ over 83? These last few months will tell.

Cleveland Indians: Jose Ramirez

(Walk up music: Que Yo Le De, by El Alfa)

It’s a damn good thing these awards are given out in July, because his career October numbers are cat piss. In 81 postseason plate appearances, Jose has a slash line of .224/.272/.289. Some will say that’s a small sample size. I will agree. Because the Tribe keep losing games that matter, which do not add to any sample sizes. In the previous seasons Jose Ramirez hustled in the start of basketball season, of which I’m sure Cleveland residents have thanked him for back when LeBron was in town. Now of course, the Cavs are Kevin Love’s team, and the entire city is now the Cleveland Browns. I’m sorry, they just are. Fortunately, because the rest of their division is trash, the Indians will get a bye into the ALDS. Geography is a wonderful way to seed playoff teams.

Detroit Tigers: JaCoby Jones

(Walk up music: Best Rapper Alive, by Lil Wayne)

There’s hustle, and then there’s hanging onto a MLB roster spot while you are actually a turnip farmer who doesn’t know how to hold a baseball bat. Fun Fact: This man has a career OPS of .582. Most teams have guys in the AA ball that are more capable of putting up better numbers than that. So how does this man have a job? GRIT. He’s a phenomenal centerfielder, so long as he is not currently touching a baseball bat? How good? Not good enough, to be honest. Keep in mind Red Sox fans are still debating about giving Jackie Bradley Jr a spot in the lineup, and he’s OPSing .027 higher than Jones right now. Whatever. Most people in Detroit are dead inside anyway after watching their two best football players just retire as opposed to entertaining these fans.

Houston Astros: Alex Bregman

(Walk up music: Pain Jane, by A$AP Ferg)

Annoyingly good on an annoyingly good team that I do not root for. However, because I’m petty, I’d like to point out that the guy was only in the HR Derby because literally all of the cool players in the American League (Aaron Judge, JD Martinez, Mookie Betts, Giancarlo Stanton, Mike Trout, Shohei Ohtani, Gleyber Torres, Manny Machado) declined or were hurt. So good on ya for getting in there.

Kansas City Royals: Salvador Perez

(Walk up music: Belanciaga, by Ozuna)

Sometimes you’re at a really fun party, and you tell yourself, “Man, I don’t ever want to leave. Screw it. We’re doing this all night long, motherfuckers.” The cocaine dries up, and the women leave, but it doesn’t matter. You’re gonna watch the sun rise for…reasons. You’ve always got your reasons. Only now the host is begrudgingly let you crash on their stained couch in the living room, and you’re the throw up kind of hungover in somebody else’s house. That’s Salvador Perez right now. The man won a World Series not three years ago, but everybody cool is gone. The fact that this man summons the energy to put a uniform on every day is hustle enough for me.

Los Angeles Angels: Mike Trout

(Walk up music: Yikes, by Kanye West)

The Angels are obviously giving this one out sarcastically as MLB desperately wants Mike to show even the slightest bit of hustle with regard to promoting his brand. Sure, he’s a living legend who is most likely going to retire as one of the 10 greatest players of all time, but go around the streets and ask people “Who is Mike Trout?” You’ll probably get guesses like “I don’t know. Is he in Phish? I’m not really into drugs like that.” Or you’ll get sarcastic wiseacres telling you he’s friends with Charlie Tuna or Baby Shark. Look, Mike, hire an Instagram professional to at least try to make yourself look cool, you lazy bum. Low motor, if you ask me.

Minnesota Twins: Eduardo Escobar

(Walk up music: Escapate Conmigo, by Wisin)

[Sighs] I don’t know. He’s a Twin, man. It’s really hard to have an opinion good or bad about the Twins. His numbers are…fine. He’s having a career year, so maybe I could imply he’s on PED’s? Is he a good guy? I bet he is. Frankly, I bet if I knew him, I’d walk away saying “This guy is the greatest physical specimen that I’ve ever seen. You know, you often forget just how talented professional athletes really are. And the work ethic. Utterly inspiring.” But I don’t know him, so he’s just a dude who puts up okay numbers on a dweeby ass team in Minnesota, who even if they could make the playoffs would inevitably get wrecked by literally any other team. It’s a shame too. The uniforms and ballpark look nice.

New York Yankees: Austin Romine

(Walk up music: Black Dog, by Led Zeppelin)

HAHAHAHA. Good one, NYY. Don’t get me wrong, the timing is world class after watching Gary Sanchez lazily contemplate the meaning of effort while lazily shagging one of the pitches he inevitably lets ricochet off his glove, and allows a runner to score from second. Austin actually started out phenomenally this year. In 8 games in May, the guy had an OPS of 1.477. Of course his BABIP was a robust .500 so that might have been less Heart and Hustle and more Luck and Voodoo. The BABIP has reverted to normal, and the numbers are currently screaming back to earth. Still, the man is quite gritty. And he’s Sonny Gray’s personal catcher. Can you imagine what Sonny Gray would be pitching like without Romine. Why he’d never maintain his sub 5.4 ERA with a lesser glove back there.

Oakland Athletics: Matt Chapman

(Walk up music: Codeine Dreaming, by Kodak Black)

Baseball Reference says that one of his nicknames is Pegasus. I’ve gotta admit it, that’s a pretty baller nickname. I would now like to see him on his very own Lisa Frank folder. He would instantly become the favorite player of every basic girl in the seventh grade.

Seattle Mariners: Guillermo Heredia

(No walk up music available. Maybe it’s like Mike Tyson where he never wore the scary hood to intimidate his opponent. Doesn’t need it.)

He comes from Cuba, so you’ve got to have a decent amount of hustle just to get over here. Which is good, because he doesn’t happen to be a very good baseball player. Negative bWAR and a 0.00 fWAR for the season.

Tampa Bay Rays: Joey Wendle

(Walk up music: Whole Lotta Love, by Led Zeppelin)

I now have deep regrets about starting this odyssey. Sure it was easy when I started with Adam Jones and Mookie Betts. I know those guys. I have opinions about those guys. And Austin Romine? Well, he’s not very good. That’s the joke I’d use there. What the fuck am I supposed to do with Joey Wendle? Is he really the grittiest player on your team, Tampa Bay? Have you nobody else? By the way, I’m noticing that there are no pitchers to this point. What’s their deal? Shouldn’t this go to some reliever as starter? Oh, you know what you should have done, Tampa? You should have copped out and said something awful like “Our Fans.” The brave residents of Brandon, FL who fight against traffic to cross the Howard Franklin Bridge and venture out to the Trop. You’re a hearty 37 people.

Texas Rangers: Isiah Kiner-Falefa

(Walk up music: Attention Span, by Rebelution)

The kid is 23 and he’s already played in 463 games in the minors. That seems like a good amount. The minors suck. You ride the bus from town to town and get paid in Best Western shampoo bottles. I have no problems calling this guy the grittiest player on the team, even if he didn’t knock the ever-loving shit out of Joey Bats one time.

Toronto Blue Jays: Curtis Granderson

(Walk up music: Word Up, by Cameo)

I’m told this is just the greatest guy on the planet. Everybody absolutely loves him. Personally, I always enjoy really skinny dudes who somehow sock dingers to Mars, and also aren’t as good defensively as you would imagine. Look at Grandy. Strip away everything you know, and you’d just assume he’s a 12-time gold glove winner, who once had a career high 12 HRs in a season. Not the case. Way to subvert our expectations.

Arizona Diamondbacks: Paul Goldschmidt

(Walk up music: We Went, by Randy Houser)

This doesn’t seem right. Or at least consistent. Paul Goldschmidt is a phenomenal player, but I’ve come to expect certain qualities when I hear Dog Whistle words like “Heart and Hustle,” and they don’t totally jive with a lumbering first baseman. I’m not saying he doesn’t work hard. I’m sure he chops wood in the offseason and eats eggs by the dozen. Lots of manly stuff going on there. But…I don’t know man. I expect a little more scrappiness out of my Heart and Hustle gritlords. This smacks of Arizona realizing that their man can get out of town in 2020 (when he’s 32 but whatever) and wants to throw him a bone.

Atlanta Braves: Nick Markakis

(Walk up music: Deliverance, by Bubba Sparxxx)

What the fuck are you doing in the league, man? I remember 11 or 12 years ago when I was taking ignorant jabs at WAR based purely on you having a good one (“LOL. How can WAR be a thing when Nick Markakis is one of the league leaders? I am very smart and this comment will age well.”). That was forever ago. Had somebody told me that you died, I wouldn’t have been able to counter them (Or remember two things about your career). But here you are. And you’re putting up solid numbers, making your first All Star team and giving traditional aging arcs the finger. Laughing at Chronos the God of Time is gritty as fuck.

Chicago Cubs: Javier Baez

(Walk up music: Chambea, by Bad Bunny)

Javier Baez is really cool, and I don’t know what to add here. Dope selection.

Cincinnati Reds: Scooter Gennett

(Walk up music: Silence, by Marshmello)

One time I tried to come up with something called the St. Louis Grit Cycle, where we think about ways gritty players (Typically loved by St. Louis fans) might achieve the cycle without having to get three extra base hits. We came up with getting hit by pitch, laying down a real nice sac bunt, hitting a sac fly, and being white. I’ve never really imagined what a Cincinnati grit cycle would be, but I’d guess it involves eating a full plate of Skyline “Chili”, playing an entire season of Madden with the Bengals (Online if you’re l33t), Rooting for Ohio State, and being named Scooter. Thankfully, Scooter bothered to hit the super cool kind of cycle where you upgrade the single, double and triple to even more home runs. That was the very definition of Cinsanity, and I don’t really care if it didn’t happen in 2018. Don’t be a cop about things.

Colorado Rockies: Trevor Story

(Walk up music: Look Ahead, by Future)

Oh look, it’s another Colorado shortstop putting up way better HR numbers than you’d expect of a shortstop. This is where Colorado defenders will tell you they’ve put in a humidor and you’re just supposed to ignore things like him OPSing .304 higher at home than on the road, or the fact that he has 16 HRs in Colorado and 4 everywhere else. (I’m not being serious. I don’t have fierce opinions about Trevor’s power numbers. I just know that takes make for way better content and he’s just in the wrong place at the wrong time.)

Los Angeles Dodgers: Matt Kemp

(Walk up music: Big Shot, by Kendrick Lamar)

The other Beast Mode! This is a weird inclusion. Baseball has a bad history with PED usage, and while I absolutely don’t care about whether somebody uses or does not, I am a little worried that Kemp might be rousing some suspicion. I guess it’s no big deal that he’s OPSing higher in his 33 season than any since he was 28 years old. In the NL West, which features some tough ballparks. Maybe it’s fine. Maybe San Diego and Atlanta should have exercised a little more patience.

Miami Marlins: JT Realmuto

(Walk up music: Lay ‘Em Down, by NEEDTOBREATHE)

Poor bastard. While everybody else with a lick of talent was being bounced the hell out of Miami, this guy was forced to stay. And despite basically telling Jeter that he should have been moved to another position once A-Rod joined the Yankees, the fact remained that he still has another two years of control attached to his name, so he just wasn’t going anywhere (watch him be traded as soon as this is published). At least the stadium is air conditioned. And that tacky statue is awesome, in an ironic hipster sort of way. As a catcher he gets to stare at that thing all day. I bet he dreams about impaling dudes on that mechanical fish.

Milwaukee Brewers: Christian Yelich

(Walk up music: Jungle, by Andre Nickatina)

Now why the hell did the Marlins get rid of this guy? I guess the tank is really and truly on, but damn, the guy has an AAV of $7MM a year through his age 29 season, with a club option for his age 30 year. Goddamn it, you cheap pieces of crap, that’s a good value for a 26-year-old outfielder. Why the hell did you buy a team if you can’t afford to pay players? I know, I know. They got prospects. Screw the future. Miami’s going to be underwater in a few years, and honestly, that’s for the best. All their annual revenue is going into that empty stadium anyway.

New York Mets: Brandon Nimmo

(Walk up music: Fear Is A Liar, by Zach Williams)

You know what? No. Their grittiest player is Tim Tebow.

New York Mets (Via the Binghamton Rumble Ponies): Tim Tebow

(Walk up music: Creed? It’s Creed, isn’t it? I’m gonna say With Arms Wide Open)

I don’t care that he’s not on the roster. Their roster sucks anyway. Tim Tebow is a phenomenal story. He goes from playing zero baseball beyond his Junior year of High School, and now he’s doing well in AA with the Binghamton Rumble Ponies. He’s OPSing .734. “Yeah, but he’s a professional athlete.” Whatever, dude. Not a lot of professional athletes could pick up something they haven’t done in over a decade and compete against players who have been playing the game their entire life. This is amazing. Yes, he’s still a dorky dude, but goddamn that’s nuts. AA baseball is really hard. Good for you, Tebow. Nimmo, you know this award doesn’t even belong to you.

Philadelphia Phillies: Cesar Hernandez

(Walk up music: Viva Venezuela, by Un Solo Pueblo)

So gritty, Gabe Kapler calls him in to scrub the coconut oil off his dick.

Pittsburgh Pirates: Corey Dickerson

(Walk up music: Take My Life, by Jeremy Camp)

He’s hurt. Goddamn it, he was beautiful, and you took him, lord. Why? It’s the dreaded Heart and Hustle award, isn’t it? Something so pure simply can’t exist. Anyway It’s just a pulled hamstring, so the media is playing this off as if it’s not a serious injury. Maybe not. But it’s a serious warning. The truly Heartful Hustlers do not flaunt their grittitude. They simply grit. You got Hollywood, Corey. I know you didn’t pick yourself, but maybe be less outwardly scrappy.

San Diego Padres: Jose Pirela

(Walk up music: Que Va, by Alex Sensation)

This guy is kind of who I pictured with the Heart and Hustle award. In my mind it’s the “You Tried” honor. It’s something given to the nerds who have to sweat to put up average numbers, whereas the cool kids sit in the back of the class and sock dingers when they’re bored. He’s a guy who is at best a work in progress defensively, sure, but keep in mind, he also can’t hit to save his life. Defensive liabilities who find a way to get playing time despite OPSing .663? Now that’s hustle. The San Diego Padres: Proudly employing players since 1969.

San Francisco Giants: Brandon Crawford

(Walk up music: Since ’84, by Mac Dre)

I know this guy! Not literally. I don’t have a relationship with Brandon Crawford in any sense of the word, but I do know who he is, which is a massive step up from a lot of the names I’ve recently had to spend time Googling (I don’t watch much NL baseball. I prefer the DH. Feel free to disagree, but know that you’re wrong.). He’s good. Checks off all the boxes. Decent numbers. I think he has both heart and hustle, and am fine with this selection.

St. Louis Cardinals: Harrison Bader

(Walk up music: Pills & Automobiles, by Chris Brown)

God, how old is this guy? [Looks it up] He’s 24. Hell, he’s only barely 24. I don’t like him. Too young. Kid that age should be expected to have heart and hustle. What do you want, a medal, you sub Millennial? My ass you’re getting a medal. You were born just before the damn MLB players strike. That makes me feel old. Go to hell, Harrison.

Washington Nationals: Trea Turner

(Walk up music: Look Ahead, by Future)

And I’m done. Well, technically not done yet. I still have one more name to get through. But spiritually, I’m done. This was exhausting. I am not Heart and Hustle award material. Something tells me, Trea feels the exact same way

https://twitter.com/DCBarno/status/1021568566007672832

Just copied Trevor Story’s walk up music, too. This fuckin guy.

*

So what did we learn? Well for starters, just as there is no one standard of beauty for a woman to adhere to, there also no one definition of what Heart and Hustle. For some, it’s the captain who has to show what he’s made of every day. For others, it’s finding inspiration in the guy who is hanging on. And some teams are the Padres who have to put somebody up for the award. Also, it can’t be a pitcher. I’m not entirely sure why, but it just can’t. Total divas, that lot.

Fortunately the awards are announced and all of these guys can slack off for the rest of the year. For the true Heart and Hustle winners are the type who clearly wring everything out of their bones from opening day to somewhere around the 100^th game of the season. Enjoy your winter, everybody.